# I pit Bill Gates **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2006, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874 "2006-04-08T17:59:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/61 "2006-04-08T23:15:23Z")
[QUOTE=drmark2000] Well, I am, so there. That’s that. [/QUOTE] I’m finding this very difficult to believe, given your posting history thus far. Make with the thesis. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/62 "2006-04-08T23:15:41Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] Well I’m the King of Denmark. I am, so there. That’s that. Of yeah, I’m SpartAcus too. [/QUOTE] Spartacus is king of my nation? [btw. Here’s your wife.](http://kongehuset.dk/artikel.php?dogtag=k_dk_familien_dronningen) ---
**Author:** ![drmark2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@drmark2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drmark2000)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/63 "2006-04-08T23:20:16Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] Well I’m the King of Denmark. I am, so there. That’s that. Of yeah, I’m SpartAcus too. [/QUOTE] With the salient difference being that you are neither King of Denmark nor Spartacus, while I _am_ a doctor. Do you see my point? If you don’t, you are exhibiting signs and symptoms of delusional psychosis which are treatable by any of a variety of brightly colored pills with neat names. Talking with someone face-to-face may help some, too. Don’t be reticent. We really are very nice people in our field, by and large. We know how to listen, and we like to help. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/64 "2006-04-08T23:22:05Z")
[QUOTE=drmark2000] The truth, any truth, terrifies you, but it holds such sway over you only because you run from it. Turn and face the truth, as I do, and it will stop in its tracks and await to do your bidding. Become the master of truth, rather than just another fleeing from a bogey-man of your own creation. [/QUOTE] Ther is noe spoone. -The Matricks ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/65 "2006-04-08T23:29:27Z")
[QUOTE=Rune] Spartacus is king of my nation? [btw. Here’s your wife.](http://kongehuset.dk/artikel.php?dogtag=k_dk_familien_dronningen) [/QUOTE] Hey, I bet she was one hot babe in her day. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/66 "2006-04-08T23:29:45Z")
[QUOTE=Wolfian] Ther is noe spoone. -The Matricks [/QUOTE] I know you’re hacking, you cheater! Eeeeeeeeeeee! ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/67 "2006-04-08T23:30:09Z")
[QUOTE=drmark2000] With the salient difference being that you are neither King of Denmark nor Spartacus, while I _am_ a doctor. Do you see my point? [/QUOTE] No, what’s your point? Anyone can claim to possess an advanced degree. Hell, anyone can _claim_ any damn thing they want. His claim to be Spartacus is, in fact, just as valid as your claim to have a doctorate. The difference is, I’m far more willing to believe he’s Spartacus. You? Not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/68 "2006-04-08T23:31:26Z")
[QUOTE=drmark2000] We really are very nice people in our field, by and large. We know how to listen, and we like to help. [/QUOTE] Indeed there are. You, however, are an abraisve egomaniac whose entire forarms are in his ears. ---
**Author:** ![drmark2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@drmark2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drmark2000)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/69 "2006-04-08T23:35:11Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] Make with the thesis. [/QUOTE] A doctoral candidate does not write a _thesis_. A doctoral candidate writes a _dissertation_. I did so, thus completing the requirements to receive my PhD. Or did you mean my Magnum Opus on these boards, also known as The One? Ah, that, my friend, as I have already said, will appear all in good time. My time, no one else’s. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/70 "2006-04-08T23:37:35Z")
[QUOTE=Lute Skywatcher] Indeed there are. You, however, are an abraisve egomaniac whose entire forarms are in his ears. [/QUOTE] Now, let’s not be hasty here. Perhaps, due to an unfortunate mishearing, the good doctor has attempted to position his forearms in his foramen magnum. The resultant compression of the spinal cord could explain a great deal, could it not? ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/71 "2006-04-08T23:38:23Z")
drmark, the idiot store called, they want you back. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/72 "2006-04-08T23:44:13Z")
[QUOTE=drmark2000] A doctoral candidate does not write a _thesis_. A doctoral candidate writes a _dissertation_. I did so, thus completing the requirements to receive my PhD. [/QUOTE] The two terms are often interchangeable, and preferred usage varies between countries and even from one university to another. Thesis, dissertation, whatver you want to call it, let’s see it. I want to read this masterwork of yours. ---
**Author:** ![drmark2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@drmark2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drmark2000)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/73 "2006-04-08T23:46:57Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] His claim to be Spartacus is, in fact, just as valid as your claim to have a doctorate. The difference is, I’m far more willing to believe he’s Spartacus. You? Not so much. [/QUOTE] God, this is just too easy. Spartacus is _dead_, you dumbfuck. Queen Boogerglob of the Otherlands doesn’t look too far from crossing that river, either, and is, in any case, certainly not the poster in question. If you’re “far more willing“ to believe he/she/it is either of those people, then its brightly colored pills for you, too! And maybe actually speaking with someone face-to-face. ---
**Author:** ![VegemiteMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/df788c/32.png) [@VegemiteMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegemiteMoose)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/74 "2006-04-08T23:47:45Z")
[QUOTE=drmark2000] A doctoral candidate does not write a _thesis_. A doctoral candidate writes a _dissertation_. I did so, thus completing the requirements to receive my PhD. Or did you mean my Magnum Opus on these boards, also known as The One? Ah, that, my friend, as I have already said, will appear all in good time. My time, no one else’s. [/QUOTE] In Soviet Russia, eggs fry _you_. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/75 "2006-04-08T23:48:11Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] The two terms are often interchangeable, and preferred usage varies between countries and even from one university to another. Thesis, dissertation, whatver you want to call it, let’s see it. I want to read this masterwork of yours. [/QUOTE] It’s short… "I am so smartz lol! I rulez yooo! I pwn3z yur face! I am face melter! My IQ is like, genius level easy, on um… the most used test. I dunno what it’s called. I mean, YOU don’t know what it’s called. Ooooh! Burn! I want to be a doctor. I will tell people they have lots of things wrong with them. If they don’t believe that I am real doctor I hit them. That will show that they have something wrong with them. Delusional crazy people have their faces melted by me, the Pwn3nator! Pleeze gimme doctorate now. Fuck you kindly. -Mark." ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/76 "2006-04-08T23:53:35Z")
[QUOTE=drmark2000] Spartacus is _dead_, you dumbfuck. [/QUOTE] Uh, yeah. That was kinda the whole point there. Y’know, what with him being dead an all, I’m _still_ more willing to believe he’s Spartacus than I’m am willing to believe you have a doctorate. Nothing you’ve said thus far has disabused me of that disbelief. Nice try, **FinnAgain**. But, clearly that’s written a superior level of intellect; there’s no way **drmark2000** wrote that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/77 "2006-04-08T23:54:19Z")
[QUOTE=drmark2000] The tentacles of Microsoft are many and long. They have suction cups on them that grip and hold with startling speed and tenacity. They are virtually unavoidable and inescapable. The issue is not the use of products made or influenced by Microsoft. It is being practically unable to avoid this. [/QUOTE] It’s quite easy to avoid Microsoft products. There’s an entire world of Open Source. I ran linux exclusively for 9 months, didn’t need ANY Microsoft programs. > [@](#): > > You demonstrate again the attitude of the grateful prisoner toward his prisonkeeps: “Gosh, if they’re soooooooo big and powerful they must also be good, and have all of our best interests at heart, not just their own.” > > See the walls that are all around you? First, acknowledge that they are there, and then get to work. How exactly am I “demonstrating” this? I hate Microsoft with a passion, I’m just not batshit crazy like you. Please enlighten us, what institution is your PhD from? I think I understand now why in my country the use of “Doctor” is generally a faux pas unless you have a medical degree. ---
**Author:** ![drmark2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@drmark2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drmark2000)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2006, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/78 "2006-04-09T00:01:04Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] …I’m _still_ more willing to believe he’s Spartacus than I’m am willing to believe you have a doctorate. Nothing you’ve said thus far has disabused me of that disbelief. [/QUOTE] Go with the pills. Talking won’t make any difference, at this point. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/79 "2006-04-09T00:04:59Z")
C’mon **drmark** , tell us where you got your doctorate. You have been asked enough. And point us toward that dissertation. How can you pass up a chance to enlighten such backwards thinkers as we are? Really, is it common in your profession to refer to yourselves as doctors? ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2006, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874/80 "2006-04-09T00:17:02Z")
[QUOTE=drmark2000] Go with the pills. Talking won’t make any difference, at this point. [/QUOTE] Now I _know_ he’s not a clinical psychologist. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-bill-gates/351874.md?page=5)