I pit cherries

Ranier cherries are only available for about 5-6 weeks a year and as far as I know, are not available dried, canned or frozen. I was kinda considering taking up canning myself to lay up a jar or three of them for later in the year. Oh well, maybe another year.

Oh, and that reminds me—
What the bloody damned fuck is the point of including that in a woman’s stuff, I’ll never know. OK, I’ll grant it could help with keeping out foreign objects, but really, when was the last time anything got up there if you didn’t put it there yourself? Sounds like a solution in search of a problem. And it *hurts *girls to break the bloody damned things, you know! Why the fuck would a merciful creator make a vagina that you can’t use until you break it? Intelligent design my ass. Oh yeah, and imagine how much fucking fun it is, when menarche arrives, discovering you have a fucking imperforate one! Then they go and name it after a Greek god—what the fuck kind of deranged sicko humor is that? And worst of all, in some countries they insist on inspecting the damned bloody blood on the damned bloody bloody bedsheet and if you didn’t bleed you bloody well get the sack. Damn, that is invasive as hell. The fuck is the idea of making that damned bloody little bit of mucous membrane the sole measure of a woman’s worth?! Amirite?

I saw what you did there.

Wait, there’s a Greek god named “Cherry?”



I was all set to come in here and complain about pomegranates staining my fingernails.

Nylon net! Vinegar! Baking soda!

Or lemon juice, as others said.


I made a mistake about the Ranier, as noted. I had a bag of these really dark red cherries and another bag of reddish-yellow ones (the actual Raniers). After I’d taken them all out and thrown away the bags, I wanted to know what variety the deep red ones are. I looked in the trash and on top I saw “Ranier” and must have assumed it was what I was looking for. But in fact the dark ones were not packed with a varietal name. It just said “Organic Sweet Cherries from Washington State.” They were on sale at Giant the other week and soooooo gooood.

We’ve been druped!

I love this place!

I’m chewing on a large Ranier cherry as I type this and it is delicious.

No, they are wonderful in ice cream. Cherries added to vanilla = yum!

Isn’t it obvious? This is yet more proof that God exists, and hates you.

I don’t like the mess pits make, so I often don’t bother pitting cherries. I just swallow everything.

I’ve heard that hurts the first time, too.

Rainier cherries are here?


According to my grandfather, you are running the risk of having a cherry tree growing out of your ear.

I’m not sure I’ve ever had the Ranier cherries. Are they better than the regular dark red ones?

I enjoyed a nectarine-and-cherry smoothie for dessert last night, because the cherries were starting to get a little squishy and I didn’t want to waste them. I highly recommend this flavor combination.

If we can build a seedless grape, why can’t we come up with a pitless cherry?

In Soviet Russia cherries pit…no, that doesn’t work.

IMO, they are.