# I pit chess **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 30, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366 "2012-10-30T21:56:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/41 "2012-10-31T16:39:05Z")
Maybe Parcheesi is more your style. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/42 "2012-10-31T16:46:02Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > My pawn crossed to the other side Cool, because this used to mean you had died. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/43 "2012-10-31T16:47:34Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Maybe Parcheesi is more your style. Never played. Do you actually eat cheese in the game? Becuase I think that’s what OP is after. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/44 "2012-10-31T16:55:18Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Specifically, I hate bishops. Like real pedophiles, they walk diagonally and sneak up on you while wearing a funny hat. I’ve lost more important pieces to bishops than any other piece. 😕 Your brain has difficulty with perception of diagonal lines? Maybe you ought to get that checked. I find each bishop staying perpetually on one color to be an elegantly simplifying factor amid all the complexity. The original name for the monochrome diagonal piece in Sanskrit was (IIRC) _hasti_ ‘the elephant’ (i.e., Indian war elephant—if you’ve fought with them in Civilization, you know they’re pretty mean and aggressive). The Arabic name for it is _al-fil_ (pronounced “feel”), ‘the elephant’, and IIRC this was borrowed into mediéval Spanish or Portuguese as _alfil_. The French call it _le fou_: ‘the fool’. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/45 "2012-10-31T17:06:47Z")
The _fil_, though, had a markedly different power to the modern bishop - it could move _exactly_ two squares diagonally, a clumsy move that limited each _fil_ to one-eighth of the board and made the four of them all unable to interact with each other. The fact that, like the Knight, it was a leaper (and hence could not be obstructed) did not really compensate. More people struggle to perceive the Knight’s move, probably because it’s taught badly. Discard the L-shape or dog-leg that’s usually used in books, even quite good books, and instead view the Knight’s move as the shortest move that does not duplicate anything a Queen could do, and you’re off and away. As an added bonus, this should easily let you see that a Knight must move to a square of opposite colour every time, and hence that it cannot reach in an even number of moves any square that it can reach in an odd number. **Johanna** , even more like the true war elephant is the piece that gives [Mad Elephant Chess](http://www.chessvariants.org/diffmove.dir/mad-elephant.html) its name - a piece that can be goaded into trampling recklessly over friend and foe alike. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/46 "2012-10-31T18:38:13Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > Except the old DOS game “Battle Chess”, but that’s because I didn’t give a shit if I lost, since I loved the battle & kill animations. 😃 Me, too. I’d set up scenarios and then put the game in autoplay mode just to watch the slaughter and destruction. One of the best games ever! ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/47 "2012-10-31T18:57:41Z")
FWIW, I’ve never won any game of chess in my entire life. Though in one of my university classes, there was a chess game on our Mac computer where you could set it up so both players were played by the computer,\* and\* you could have each player sing out its moves! I’d do that instead of work. No wonder I failed that class
 ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/48 "2012-11-01T18:31:16Z")
> [@](#): > > How about a nice game of Thermonuclear War? Dude, I haven’t played Nuke War in ages! Now that was some fun! “Here’s some propaganda that steals 25 million of your population. Oh yeah, here’s a Polaris missle to nuke those traitors to hell!” I think I still have my copy in the basement. I wonder if the spinner still works. (Sorry for the hijack) Kelevra ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/49 "2012-11-01T22:45:20Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > More people struggle to perceive the Knight’s move, probably because it’s taught badly. Discard the L-shape or dog-leg that’s usually used in books I prefer to teach it as one straight and one diagonal. The path is sort of a curve. > [@bashere](#): > > (also, in my experience, speed chess is played by people with
anger management issues. I’m not implying it would be more your game, just sort of insinuating it) IME, speed chess is played by people with
home-having issues. > [@Locrian](#): > > Always felt the Knight piece was a severely epileptic horse the way it moves around that stupid board. Take a 5x5 grid. Put a rook in the middle and eliminate all the squares it can move to. Then put a bishop in the middle and mark off all its squares. What’s left? > [@YogSosoth](#): > > They should take into account that I had 2 motherfucking queens and give me the victory. In no world where a king gets a threesome with 2 queens while another king watches is there a stalemate. I don’t want to live in a world like that Look, lemme lay it out for you, cuz you’re obviously just a whiny bitch that doesn’t know what happened to him. It goes like this. You go to college. You buy a fancy car. You get a nice suit. You make it rain. And when you get home, I’m there fucking your bitch. You know why she’s steppin’ out? Cuz I know whassup and you juss still frontin’. You can have all the queens and you still won’t beat me. Know why? Cuz son, you ain’t a closer. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/50 "2012-11-01T23:03:10Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I prefer to teach it as one straight and one diagonal. The path is sort of a curve. Oddly enough, for me the “L” is the easiest one to visualize. I don’t think there’s anything bad about books teaching that method, although (as this thread illustrates), it appears people have different ways of remembering that stick, so the best approach would be to offer all the ways of visualizing the knight’s move and letting the student figure out with is best for them. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2012, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/51 "2012-11-02T00:42:42Z")
I don’t have the attention span to play chess effectively. Therefore, I neither love it nor hate it. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/52 "2012-11-02T12:17:48Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I prefer to teach it as one straight and one diagonal. The path is sort of a curve. Um, no. Perfectly straight line, just not on any of the 45-degree increments. That explains why Ng1-f3 is unobstructable - it’s not passing directly over either g2 or f2. > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Take a 5x5 grid. Put a rook in the middle and eliminate all the squares it can move to. Then put a bishop in the middle and mark off all its squares. What’s left? Exact-amundo. What we’re aiming for is to visualise the Knight’s destination squares directly and ideally see all eight (max) of them in a pattern around the piece. Then you’re a step closer to being able to use it effectively. IMNESHO trying to use the L-shape or dog-leg is a hindrance, not a help. > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Cuz son, you ain’t a closer. It’s true. There are players like that. They wish it weren’t so, but it is. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/53 "2012-11-02T20:51:21Z")
Fritz Leiber (sf author) got some mileage out of the resemblance of a Knight’s moves to the footprints of a spider. When playing Live Chess (using people on a lawn as chesspieces) the Knight’s move is essentially, “Excuse me
Beg your pardon
Coming through
Thank you,” rather like someone carrying a bowl of soup from a buffet. ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2012, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/54 "2012-11-03T04:20:37Z")
Chess with a computer is like
guessing who can square root a random number the quickest
then move a piece respective to the answer. The computer has every scenario calculated instantly , while you can only conceive a few or more at any given time. No matter what I opened with, the computer always did the same best opening. So, I was always on defensive. Until I matched the computer verbatim once and with a few aggressive moves, I won eventually. I never played since. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2012, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/55 "2012-11-03T05:10:08Z")
> [@Jamicat](#): > > The computer has every scenario calculated instantly , while you can only conceive a few or more at any given time. Not even close. It takes a full minute to think about all the third-moves available, and over five minutes to get a fourth. Even then, so what? My computer thought 
Bd6 was best against the London system! Openings are actually a computer’s weakest part because there are so many pieces on the board and anything concrete is over its thinking horizon. That’s the part of the game where you should be able to catch it. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2012, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/56 "2012-11-03T05:33:24Z")
This reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe, claiming that Maelzel could not be a chess-playing automaton (he was correct) because, if it were, it would play a perfect game, always (he was incorrect!) Chess-playing algorithms are far short of “perfect,” and the game has not yet been solved. However, cheap (free!) chess-playing programs exist for personal computers, and are at such a level of sophistication, they can whip my butt, even at the “easiest” difficulty setting! Question for **Chessic Sense** : am I actually gaining any useful experience playing against a computer? Is it making me a better player at all? Or is it simply reinforcing my bad habits? Would I be better off shucking the computer programs and seeking out a play-by-email opponent of my own (pathetic!) level of skill? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2012, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/57 "2012-11-03T10:48:24Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Question for **Chessic Sense** : _Was bin ich, gehackte Leber?_ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2012, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/58 "2012-11-03T12:12:27Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > WTF? Who makes up a game like that? Exact same position for the 3rd time? If I fuck the creator of chess’s mother 3 times, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t get pregnant, it means she’s a whore, and she loses, and probably has STDs. They should take into account that I had 2 motherfucking queens and give me the victory. In no world where a king gets a threesome with 2 queens while another king watches is there a stalemate. I don’t want to live in a world like that If you’ve reached the exact same position for three times because you were fiddling with your dick while she said “well, are you coming or WHAT?”, you can’t blame the mother of the inventor of chess for leaving in a huff
 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2012, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/59 "2012-11-03T12:28:57Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > 😕 Your brain has difficulty with perception of diagonal lines? Maybe you ought to get that checked. I find each bishop staying perpetually on one color to be an elegantly simplifying factor amid all the complexity. > > The original name for the monochrome diagonal piece in Sanskrit was (IIRC) _hasti_ ‘the elephant’ (i.e., Indian war elephant—if you’ve fought with them in Civilization, you know they’re pretty mean and aggressive). The Arabic name for it is _al-fil_ (pronounced “feel”), ‘the elephant’, and IIRC this was borrowed into mediĂŠval Spanish or Portuguese as _alfil_. The French call it _le fou_: ‘the fool’. I was not aware that I spake mediĂŠval Spanish
 we still call that piece _alfil_. The name also gave us _alfĂ©rez_, the equivalent of ensign in the Spanish army and navy. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/60 "2012-11-03T14:43:37Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > This reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe, claiming that Maelzel could not be a chess-playing automaton (he was correct) because, if it were, it would play a perfect game, always (he was incorrect!) Chess-playing algorithms are far short of “perfect,” and the game has not yet been solved. > > However, cheap (free!) chess-playing programs exist for personal computers, and are at such a level of sophistication, they can whip my butt, even at the “easiest” difficulty setting! > > Question for **Chessic Sense** : am I actually gaining any useful experience playing against a computer? Is it making me a better player at all? Or is it simply reinforcing my bad habits? Would I be better off shucking the computer programs and seeking out a play-by-email opponent of my own (pathetic!) level of skill? It depends. If you’re able to beat the computer, then sure, you can play it. If you’re always getting crushed, then I’d suggest putting it on hold for a bit and reading a book. The best way to get better is to deeply analyze your losses and to read chess books. If you want human opponents, there’s no reason to go through email. Just play on any of the myriad sites on the Internet like [chess.com](http://chess.com). > [@Malacandra](#): > > _Was bin ich, gehackte Leber?_ You’re cute when you’re jealous. I always picture you in chess threads as Jonathan Poe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366.md?page=4)