# I pit chess **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 30, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366 "2012-10-30T21:56:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/61 "2012-11-03T14:49:18Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I was not aware that I spake mediæval Spanish… we still call that piece _alfil_. The name also gave us _alférez_, the equivalent of ensign in the Spanish army and navy. And in common with most of Europe you call rooks “towers” whereas we English stick closer to the Arabic name, which is nothing to do with _Corvus frugilegus_ despite the orthography. In Dutch bishops are “runners” whereas they are “fools” in French, and in Russian rooks are “boats” and bishops are “elephants”. Germans are a little unusual in giving Knights a name which has nothing to do with horses or feudalism, but is purely descriptive: _Springer_. > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > You’re cute when you’re jealous. I always picture you in chess threads as Jonathan Poe. Three-nil, bub. That sustains me pretty adequately. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2012, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/62 "2012-11-03T17:37:24Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I was not aware that I spake mediæval Spanish… we still call that piece _alfil_. Well, sure, and bonus: you even speak Arabic! ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2012, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/63 "2012-11-05T19:51:03Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > If you’ve reached the exact same position for three times because you were fiddling with your dick while she said “well, are you coming or WHAT?”, you can’t blame the mother of the inventor of chess for leaving in a huff… So many bad things happen when I fiddle with my dick… ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2012, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/64 "2012-11-05T23:57:01Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > _Was bin ich, gehackte Leber?_ Heh… I had to go to Google Translate (mein Deutsch ist klein, und sehr schlecht… So, yes, please, the same question to you: what is your opinion on cheap (or free) chess-playing programs as tutorials/instructionals/teaching? Are they helping me attain at least the very lowest level of competence, or are they setting me up with bad habits? (I’ve never had chopped liver, but I’m rather fond of fried whole chicken livers. Nummy) ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/65 "2012-11-06T00:03:33Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > It depends. If you’re able to beat the computer, then sure, you can play it. If you’re always getting crushed, then I’d suggest putting it on hold for a bit and reading a book. The best way to get better is to deeply analyze your losses and to read chess books. If you want human opponents, there’s no reason to go through email. Just play on any of the myriad sites on the Internet like [chess.com](http://chess.com). Given a typical shareware or freeware game, I can hold my own about half the time – at the very lowest difficulty level! What I’m trying to ask, philosophically, is: am I gaining anything, really, by such play? Or am I in the position of a guy batting against a baseball pitching machine: good exercise, but relatively worthless in terms of real batting. > [@](#): > > You’re cute when you’re jealous. I always picture you in chess threads as Jonathan Poe. Maybe he has succumbed to the blandishments of the Aardvark of Despair. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/66 "2012-11-06T00:24:27Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Guess you’re not all that up on the rules of Chinese Chess after all. Yup. And Chinese Chess also does not allow kings to be “eaten” contrary to the immensely entertainig OP’s claim… ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/67 "2012-11-06T01:12:45Z")
The OP should learn Korean Chess. That game is quite similar to Chinese Chess but it has a cool rule where you can use your King to put the other King into check. Of course, you forfeit a win by doing that. If you manage to checkmate the other King, it’s only counted as a draw. Yeah, I’m kind of into various kinds of Chess. Depending on the computer program, the beginner may be able to learn various openings. That’s only if the software has the openings pre-programmed. I learned Chess before such programs were prevalent so I had to rely on books and in-person contests. I found out rather quickly that memorizing openings basically rots. For one, my memory isn’t good enough for that. For another, it’s boring. What helped me was to analyze the move made: Why that move? Why that space? What immediate effect does it have? What influence does the move have? What opening principle is involved (obviosuly this last one’s just for the opening)? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/68 "2012-11-06T02:13:40Z")
Is there a kind of “judo” regarding openings? I only know one opening! I use it every time. It works for me; it makes me happy. If someone knew that, is there a sure-fire killer response that uses my opening to destroy me? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/69 "2012-11-06T02:31:27Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Is there a kind of “judo” regarding openings? [Why, yes. Yes, there is.](http://www.usefulchess.com/tactics/principles.htm) > [@](#): > > I only know one opening! I use it every time. It works for me; it makes me happy. If someone knew that, is there a sure-fire killer response that uses my opening to destroy me? Go to [this site](http://www.365chess.com/opening.php) and start entering your favorite opening. You might be surprised at the consequences in games using that opening against excellent players. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/70 "2012-11-06T02:45:24Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > Well, sure, and bonus: you even speak Arabic! Ah, but Arabic is easy. It’s just one Moor language. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/71 "2012-11-06T14:41:10Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Heh… I had to go to Google Translate (mein Deutsch ist klein, und sehr schlecht… > > So, yes, please, the same question to you: what is your opinion on cheap (or free) chess-playing programs as tutorials/instructionals/teaching? Are they helping me attain at least the very lowest level of competence, or are they setting me up with bad habits? > > (I’ve never had chopped liver, but I’m rather fond of fried whole chicken livers. Nummy) One good thing computers will do for you - they will punish your mistakes remorselessly, at least if the program is any good. That may teach you, after you’ve been embarrassed enough times, to sit on your hands until you’ve figured out if the move you’re about to play is actually as good as you think it is. They’re not good enough by themselves, and you should find yourself some good books too, but they’re useful chewing gum for the brain if nothing else. That said, Chess Titans on low level periodically makes brain-dead moves for no reason at all as far as I can tell. Still, at least it gives you practice in winning won games. > [@](#): > > Maybe he has succumbed to the blandishments of the Aardvark of Despair. Not hardly. I mean, I don’t nick myself after the game or anything, or make any pretense to be other than a social player these days - my league chess is about eighteen years in the past and will be staying that way - but **Chessic** and I have crossed swords three times and he has yet to scrape up so much as a half-point. I mean, he’s getting better each time; last time he only dropped an exchange for no compensation whatever, whereas the time before he let his Knight get trapped while his Bishop was already buried on g7, and the time before that he was in a winning position before he accidentally a whole Rook; but still, three games played and old Mal’s three wins to the good and that’s the truth of it. As a rule I’m too good-natured to rub it in or anything, unless he’s going to start talking smack to me, but y’know, what with him being half my age and in regular tournament practice, if anyone’s going to despair it’s not me. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/72 "2012-11-06T22:52:56Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > Ah, but Arabic is easy. It’s just one Moor language. You mean “Moops” ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/73 "2012-11-07T03:58:49Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > You mean “Moops” \*\*Derleth \*\*had it right. Good one, **Derleth.** 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/74 "2013-06-29T05:21:48Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > And in common with most of Europe you call rooks “towers” whereas we English stick closer to the Arabic name, which is nothing to do with _Corvus frugilegus_ despite the orthography. I know it’s a zombie, but I didn’t understand what were you talking about until very recently (I was missing a couple of references), and then I never remembered to answer. When I finally got it I hit myself so hard it hurt… :smack: \<– Nava hitting herself. We do call rooks _torres_, but also _roques_, hence _enroque_ (which m-w tells me is called castling in English), _enrocar_ (the verb for the move) and _enrocarse_ (to “barricade oneself” during a negotiation process, “and I’ll hold my breath and hold my breath and you can’t make me!”). The buildings are only called _roques_ poetically, but the pieces get that name most often when someone is commenting on a chess game: Spanish dislikes repetition when it’s not on purpose, to the point where we have a standard phrase to apologize when we use the same word or even the same root twice in a single sentence. So, in a list of chess moves, the piece gets called abbreviated _t_ or _T_ for _torre_, but when someone explains that same list, they’ll switch the names to be less repetitious. There is another piece with two names: the _reina_ (“queen”) or _dama_ (“lady”), which gets written down as D for _Dama_. ---
**Author:** ![hibernicus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hibernicus/32/2802_2.png) [@hibernicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hibernicus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/75 "2013-06-29T17:48:55Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > Ah, but Arabic is easy. It’s just one Moor language. But not as easy as Hindi, where _sari_ seems to be the hardest word. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/76 "2013-06-29T18:40:28Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > My pawn crossed to the other side He died? ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/77 "2013-06-29T19:40:28Z")
Hi, I’m an internationally rated chess player. 🆒 I’ve taught every level from beginners to Junior World Champions, so I understand the OP’s pain. Chess is pure skill and is deep. Very deep. However you can usually find someone to play about your level - and then you both enjoy it and learn. Just to answer some points in the thread: - if your pawn reaches the other end of the board, it must promote. Usually you have a Queen (and you can have another one, even if there’s already some on the board.) You can alternatively promote to a rook, bishop or knight - as justrob said, making 50 moves without a capture or a pawn move by either side is a draw. Since you only played 10 moves before drawing, it was undoubtedly what Mr Shine said (stalemate or 3-time repetition.) With two Queens, my money is on stalemate. - Mr Shine is also correct that you **don’t** announce check. (I remember playing my first Grandmaster and nervously saying ‘check’. He gave me a look of pure astonishment.) You should not speak to your opponent during a game (unless offering a draw or a drink.) - Trinopus, apart from the sound advice that Chessic Sense and Malacandra have given; playing against a computer is useful because it’s always available, plus it’s patient and doesn’t care if you want to resign and start again. If you want to improve at chess, you have to work at it. (It’s the mental equivalent of learning to play a musical instrument. You decide what standard you’d like to reach and put in the time.) Here’s a couple of training games I played on the Dope… [Glee v Mosier](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=633743) [Glee v Chessic Sense](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=644649) ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/78 "2013-06-29T23:41:41Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > He died? When I got through with him > [@glee](#): > > - if your pawn reaches the other end of the board, it must promote. Usually you have a Queen (and you can have another one, even if there’s already some on the board.) You can alternatively promote to a rook, bishop or knight To me, that doesn’t make sense. In no monarchy in the history of the world would a pawn be promoted to queen just for crossing a field. It makes much more sense that he is a cross-dresser. > [@glee](#): > > - Mr Shine is also correct that you **don’t** announce check. (I remember playing my first Grandmaster and nervously saying ‘check’. He gave me a look of pure astonishment.) > You should not speak to your opponent during a game (unless offering a draw or a drink.) You mean movies and TV have lied to me again?!! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/79 "2013-06-30T11:25:40Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > To me, that doesn’t make sense. In no monarchy in the history of the world would a pawn be promoted to queen just for crossing a field. Crossing through an entire army could certainly lead to rapid promotion in real life, if that’s how you want to view it. P.S. If you are actually interested in chess, here’s a remarkable sequence of moves with just four pieces on the board. It culminates in a necessary under-promotion to Rook (to avoid stalemate) : [The Saavedra study](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saavedra_position) ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/80 "2013-06-30T12:53:23Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > To me, that doesn’t make sense. In no monarchy in the history of the world would a pawn be promoted to queen just for crossing a field. You’re thinking about it wrong. Chess is supposed to model warfare. In warfare, if infantry (in this case pawns) gets behind your lines and into your kingdom proper there is going to be Holy Hell to pay. Your military is at the front, but your opponent has just snuck past your line and is raping and pillaging your townspeople. Since you are not dealing with townspeople pieces, you have to pay a penalty and your opponent gets a military bonus for screwing up your lines of supply (metaphorically). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366.md?page=5)