# I pit chess **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 30, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366 "2012-10-30T21:56:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/81 "2013-06-30T14:11:20Z")
This was brilliant…thank you for a worthwhile pit read. Slow start…then a gradual ramp up to vociferous belligerent profane GLORY. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/82 "2013-06-30T14:36:22Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > You’re thinking about it wrong. Chess is supposed to model warfare. In warfare, if infantry (in this case pawns) gets behind your lines and into your kingdom proper there is going to be Holy Hell to pay. Your military is at the front, but your opponent has just snuck past your line and is raping and pillaging your townspeople. Since you are not dealing with townspeople pieces, you have to pay a penalty and your opponent gets a military bonus for screwing up your lines of supply (metaphorically). Maybe someone should design a new version of chess, a BETTER version! One with towns people that can be raped and pillaged! And the goal of that isn’t to take the king, but to kill all of the villagers! > [@Uber\_the\_Goober](#): > > This was brilliant…thank you for a worthwhile pit read. > > Slow start…then a gradual ramp up to vociferous belligerent profane GLORY. Thanks! This is what happens when you have unresolved childhood anger issues that manifests itself unexpectedly in war games. (“Chess is a war game?” “Shut up! that’s why!”) ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/83 "2013-06-30T15:16:51Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Maybe someone should design a new version of chess, a BETTER version! One with towns people that can be raped and pillaged! And the goal of that isn’t to take the king, but to kill all of the villagers! They already made that. It’s called “Civilization” 😃 Anyway, I loved your rant, but I think you still miss the beauty of the end game in chess. To continue the warfare metaphor, you don’t win with a sniper; head shots are no fun in this. You win with an unconditional surrender. The object is not to kill the king, but to take him so his damn _townspeople_ know who the Fucking EMPEROR IS! KNEEL BEFORE THE MONKEY! The Emperor is the monkey. That’s me by the way. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/84 "2013-06-30T15:23:02Z")
Oh, and have your mother wash your sister and bring her to me. My last concubine… well, let’s just say she’s broken. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/85 "2013-07-01T15:33:46Z")
> [@glee](#): > > - Mr Shine is also correct that you **don’t** announce check. (I remember playing my first Grandmaster and nervously saying ‘check’. He gave me a look of pure astonishment.) > You should not speak to your opponent during a game (unless offering a draw or a No kidding. I never knew that. So what happens if your opponent has a major brain fart and doesn’t notice the check? I assume it’s just treated as an illegal move? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/86 "2013-07-01T15:46:09Z")
^ Actually, that’s starting to bring back some vague memories. Aren’t there some versions of blitz chess, perhaps just the “street” games, that allow capture of the king in such a case? ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/87 "2013-07-01T16:42:14Z")
Correct on both accounts. **glee** not knocking you at all but I wanted to register that I was amused at the idea that you’d gotten to the point where you could play against a Grandmaster and still thought you were supposed to say “check!” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/88 "2013-07-01T23:55:47Z")
The Karpov-Korchnoi match in 1978 was the most epic and dramatic sporting event I can think of. I don’t know why they never made a movie out of it. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/89 "2013-07-02T00:44:27Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > No kidding. I never knew that. So what happens if your opponent has a major brain fart and doesn’t notice the check? I assume it’s just treated as an illegal move? > > … > Actually, that’s starting to bring back some vague memories. Aren’t there some versions of blitz chess, perhaps just the “street” games, that allow capture of the king in such a case? Both true (as Frylock already said.) Taking your first example: - I’ve never seen it happen in tournament chess (experienced players should be aware of all possible checks throughout the game) - if you don’t notice the check and pick up a piece, you must use it to interpose if that is legal (if you see what I mean) And the second: Long ago I played in a speed chess event for strong juniors. The top seed was John Nunn (then an IM.) We both had about 10 seconds left when I checked him. He missed it and replied with a check of his own. I moved out of check :eek: This went on for several moves until something clicked and I took his King, winning. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/90 "2013-07-02T00:48:21Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > **glee** not knocking you at all but I wanted to register that I was amused at the idea that you’d gotten to the point where you could play against a Grandmaster and still thought you were supposed to say “check!” 😉 No offence taken (I did feel rather silly myself. :o ) I was in my early twenties with a rating of around 2350. It was the strongest international tournament I’d ever played in and I was nervous. I think I only said check in one game (and I’ve never done it since!) ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/91 "2013-07-02T00:55:28Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > The Karpov-Korchnoi match in 1978 was the most epic and dramatic sporting event I can think of. I don’t know why they never made a movie out of it. That match was undoubtedly an inspiration for [the musical ‘Chess’.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_%28musical%29) There have been a few chess films (and sequences e.g. in ‘From Russia with love’, the original ‘Thomas Crown Affair’ and ‘Sherlock 2’.) The problem is that watching a actual game of chess in a film is incomprehensible unless you are a player. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/92 "2013-07-02T04:39:08Z")
There was also the 1994 movie _Fresh_, an urban crime drama with a chess theme. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/93 "2013-07-02T08:05:31Z")
The thing with chess is, people assume it must be a game of “whoever’s smartest, wins” and don’t think they need to study anything. I know this because that’s how I used to think, when I was playing chess at school and was regularly the victim of beat downs. Those days are behind me now, and my rating is much higher, but nonetheless, I approve this pitting. Oh chess, why when I start an online game before going to bed, intending to unwind, do you make me do a frustrating blunder or give me a game that’s a heart-pounding race against time control? Don’t you know I need to sleep?! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/94 "2013-07-02T10:11:09Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > The thing with chess is, people assume it must be a game of “whoever’s smartest, wins” and don’t think they need to study anything. I know this because that’s how I used to think, when I was playing chess at school and was regularly the victim of beat downs. That is indeed the popular misconception. The truth is that there are many classes of player, each of who can beat the class below 99% of the time: - beginner - club - regional - national - international - world class And that top class chess requires a combination of talent, dedication and lots of hard work. > [@Mijin](#): > > Those days are behind me now, and my rating is much higher, but nonetheless, I approve this pitting. > Oh chess, why when I start an online game before going to bed, intending to unwind, do you make me do a frustrating blunder or give me a game that’s a heart-pounding race against time control? Don’t you know I need to sleep?! Why choose competitive chess to unwind? 😕 That’s like drinking several cans of coke just before bedtime! Play through some [exciting games](http://www.amazon.co.uk/King-hunt-Chess-Books-W-H-Cozens/dp/0713515309/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1372759821&sr=1-1&keywords=chess+king+hunt) where you are a passive spectator. Or read an [amusing chess book](http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Cheat-Chess-William-Hartston/dp/0091261112/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1372759647&sr=1-1&keywords=how+to+cheat+at+chess) Or an [interesting collection of chess facts](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-Chess-Addict-Mike-Fox/dp/0571149014/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1372759705&sr=1-1&keywords=complete+chess+addict) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/95 "2013-07-02T15:21:20Z")
Apropos of little, while I was bouncing around on Wikipedia looking up speed chess, somehow my links led me to discover the sport of [chess boxing](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_boxing). This is really a thing? That’s awesome in an absurd way. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/96 "2013-07-02T20:04:54Z")
Then there’s “round the house chess” - after you move, you run round the house, and if the oppo hasn’t moved before you get back, it’s your turn again. This has interesting implications if you’re a much faster runner than the other guy, and have time to make your move after he’s set off for the compulsory lap of the house and get back before he does. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Why\_Bother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19adc/32.png) [@Doctor\_Why\_Bother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Why_Bother)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/97 "2013-07-03T11:44:29Z")
I’ve loved chess ever since I was a boy. Then I read this thread. Chess is shit now. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/98 "2013-07-05T19:22:15Z")
> [@glee](#): > > The truth is that there are many classes of player, each of who can beat the class below 99% of the time: > > - beginner > - club > - regional > - national > - international > - world class You forgot: - [computer](http://xkcd.com/1002/) which is the highest level. > [@Derleth](#): > > To be fair, the king did have a shotgun. I dunno about that, but [the homecoming queen has got a gun](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lerCUiJhCTY). ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/99 "2013-07-05T20:10:43Z")
I’m not a terrific player by any means, but I have enjoyed significantly better games once I got past my paranoia of losing important pieces. The sacrifice of a Rook or even the Queen may be a small price to pay if you can open up a window of attack. And while I wouldn’t sacrifice a Queen or Rook for it, even just a little thing like forcing your opponent to move their King early in the game, so they lose the ability to castle may be worth a lesser piece. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366/100 "2013-07-05T20:27:28Z")
> [@glee](#): > > Play through some [exciting games](http://www.amazon.co.uk/King-hunt-Chess-Books-W-H-Cozens/dp/0713515309/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1372759821&sr=1-1&keywords=chess+king+hunt) where you are a passive spectator. > Or read an [amusing chess book](http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Cheat-Chess-William-Hartston/dp/0091261112/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1372759647&sr=1-1&keywords=how+to+cheat+at+chess) > Or an [interesting collection of chess facts](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-Chess-Addict-Mike-Fox/dp/0571149014/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1372759705&sr=1-1&keywords=complete+chess+addict) IdeaTactics has several good chess apps for Android (and maybe iOS too). For years I’ve been frustrated by chess problems in the newspapers that say “White to move and win”, but the correct move at this moment in the game may appear unimportant to the beginner. The IdeaTactics apps let you actually play the problem through for a couple of moves. Depending on the app you may not be able to play all the way through to checkmate. Of the free apps, one is for typical problems as they appear in newspapers, and the other is for checkmates. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chess/639366.md?page=6)