This was brilliant…thank you for a worthwhile pit read.
Slow start…then a gradual ramp up to vociferous belligerent profane GLORY.
Maybe someone should design a new version of chess, a BETTER version! One with towns people that can be raped and pillaged! And the goal of that isn’t to take the king, but to kill all of the villagers!
Thanks! This is what happens when you have unresolved childhood anger issues that manifests itself unexpectedly in war games. (“Chess is a war game?” “Shut up! that’s why!”)
They already made that. It’s called “Civilization” 
Anyway, I loved your rant, but I think you still miss the beauty of the end game in chess. To continue the warfare metaphor, you don’t win with a sniper; head shots are no fun in this. You win with an unconditional surrender. The object is not to kill the king, but to take him so his damn townspeople know who the Fucking EMPEROR IS!
KNEEL BEFORE THE MONKEY!
The Emperor is the monkey. That’s me by the way.
Oh, and have your mother wash your sister and bring her to me. My last concubine… well, let’s just say she’s broken.
No kidding. I never knew that. So what happens if your opponent has a major brain fart and doesn’t notice the check? I assume it’s just treated as an illegal move?
^ Actually, that’s starting to bring back some vague memories. Aren’t there some versions of blitz chess, perhaps just the “street” games, that allow capture of the king in such a case?
Correct on both accounts.
glee not knocking you at all but I wanted to register that I was amused at the idea that you’d gotten to the point where you could play against a Grandmaster and still thought you were supposed to say “check!” 
The Karpov-Korchnoi match in 1978 was the most epic and dramatic sporting event I can think of. I don’t know why they never made a movie out of it.
Both true (as Frylock already said.)
Taking your first example:
- I’ve never seen it happen in tournament chess (experienced players should be aware of all possible checks throughout the game)
- if you don’t notice the check and pick up a piece, you must use it to interpose if that is legal (if you see what I mean)
And the second:
Long ago I played in a speed chess event for strong juniors. The top seed was John Nunn (then an IM.) We both had about 10 seconds left when I checked him. He missed it and replied with a check of his own. I moved out of check :eek:
This went on for several moves until something clicked and I took his King, winning.
No offence taken (I did feel rather silly myself. :o )
I was in my early twenties with a rating of around 2350.
It was the strongest international tournament I’d ever played in and I was nervous.
I think I only said check in one game (and I’ve never done it since!)
That match was undoubtedly an inspiration for the musical ‘Chess’.
There have been a few chess films (and sequences e.g. in ‘From Russia with love’, the original ‘Thomas Crown Affair’ and ‘Sherlock 2’.)
The problem is that watching a actual game of chess in a film is incomprehensible unless you are a player.
There was also the 1994 movie Fresh, an urban crime drama with a chess theme.
The thing with chess is, people assume it must be a game of “whoever’s smartest, wins” and don’t think they need to study anything. I know this because that’s how I used to think, when I was playing chess at school and was regularly the victim of beat downs.
Those days are behind me now, and my rating is much higher, but nonetheless, I approve this pitting.
Oh chess, why when I start an online game before going to bed, intending to unwind, do you make me do a frustrating blunder or give me a game that’s a heart-pounding race against time control? Don’t you know I need to sleep?!
That is indeed the popular misconception.
The truth is that there are many classes of player, each of who can beat the class below 99% of the time:
- beginner
- club
- regional
- national
- international
- world class
And that top class chess requires a combination of talent, dedication and lots of hard work.
Why choose competitive chess to unwind? 
That’s like drinking several cans of coke just before bedtime!
Play through some exciting games where you are a passive spectator.
Or read an amusing chess book
Or an interesting collection of chess facts
Apropos of little, while I was bouncing around on Wikipedia looking up speed chess, somehow my links led me to discover the sport of chess boxing. This is really a thing? That’s awesome in an absurd way.
Then there’s “round the house chess” - after you move, you run round the house, and if the oppo hasn’t moved before you get back, it’s your turn again.
This has interesting implications if you’re a much faster runner than the other guy, and have time to make your move after he’s set off for the compulsory lap of the house and get back before he does. 
I’ve loved chess ever since I was a boy.
Then I read this thread.
Chess is shit now.
I’m not a terrific player by any means, but I have enjoyed significantly better games once I got past my paranoia of losing important pieces. The sacrifice of a Rook or even the Queen may be a small price to pay if you can open up a window of attack. And while I wouldn’t sacrifice a Queen or Rook for it, even just a little thing like forcing your opponent to move their King early in the game, so they lose the ability to castle may be worth a lesser piece.
IdeaTactics has several good chess apps for Android (and maybe iOS too). For years I’ve been frustrated by chess problems in the newspapers that say “White to move and win”, but the correct move at this moment in the game may appear unimportant to the beginner. The IdeaTactics apps let you actually play the problem through for a couple of moves. Depending on the app you may not be able to play all the way through to checkmate. Of the free apps, one is for typical problems as they appear in newspapers, and the other is for checkmates.