# I pit chewing on people's faces **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367 "2012-05-28T19:42:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/1 "2012-05-28T19:42:44Z")
[The latest out of Miami](http://start.toshiba.com/news/read.php?rip_id=%3CD9V1QQ780%40news.ap.org%3E&ps=1011): > [@](#): > > A witness says a naked man chewing on the face of another naked man on a downtown highway ramp kept eating and growled at a police officer who tried to make him stop. > [@](#): > > “The guy was, like, tearing him to pieces with his mouth, so I told him, `Get off!'” Vega said. “The guy just kept eating the other guy away, like, ripping his skin.” > > Vega flagged down a Miami police officer, who he said repeatedly ordered the attacker to get off the victim. The attacker just picked his head up and growled at the officer, Vega said. > > As the attack continued, Vega said the officer shot the attacker, who continued chewing the victim’s face. The officer fired again, killing the attacker. I can have some strong opinions sometimes, but in most cases I am pretty leery about taking them so far as to tell other people what they should and should not do. How do I know I am right? Aren’t there usually two sides to every story? Shouldn’t I walk a mile in their shoes? You get the idea. But when it comes to chewing on other people’s faces, I feel confident declaring, “You should definitely not do that.” Especially after you’ve been shot once already in an attempt to stop you. When the police shoot you to get you to cease and desist, IMHO you really should do exactly that, especially if they’re trying to stop you from eating someone’s face. ‘Gauche’ isn’t the right word. ‘Depraved’ is better, but I’m still at a loss as to what word to use to describe this. Let’s leave the zombie behavior to zombie movies if that’s okay with everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/2 "2012-05-28T19:45:26Z")
Bite me, you cannibalist! ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/3 "2012-05-28T19:46:19Z")
So was the victim unconscious or already dead or what? Seems like chewing on someone’s face would be awfully difficult if they’re awake. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/4 "2012-05-28T19:48:29Z")
The victim was just giving head. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/5 "2012-05-28T19:50:01Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > But when it comes to chewing on other people’s faces, I feel confident declaring, “You should definitely not do that.” I’m willing to turn the other cheek. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/6 "2012-05-28T19:50:15Z")
I think dietary restrictions are o.k. if prescribed by your family doctor or if it’s a part of your personal religious beliefs, but applying them to _everybody_ smacks of Big Brother to me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/7 "2012-05-28T19:50:24Z")
Perfectly legal, he was just standing his ground. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/8 "2012-05-28T20:03:51Z")
You and your political correctness gone mad. You want the world to become a nanny state. Shame on you. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/9 "2012-05-28T20:22:29Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > So was the victim unconscious or already dead or what? Seems like chewing on someone’s face would be awfully difficult if they’re awake. The authorities are not releasing much, but this bit suggests the other guy was at least unconscious: > [@](#): > > The victim was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital. A spokeswoman said Monday that the hospital would not be releasing any information about him. > > A surveillance video camera from The Miami Herald building nearby captured images of the men’s naked legs lying side by side after the shooting. > > Vega said the victim appeared gravely injured. > > “It was just a blob of blood,” Vega said. “You couldn’t really see, it was just blood all over the place.” Was he dead though? How much does a person bleed after they are dead? Anyway, I see the comments and respect everyone on the board, but I still think this is totally inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/10 "2012-05-28T20:25:45Z")
I hope the tireless work of noted documentary film maker George Romero has been successful and the cops quickly shot the victim too, in the head, to stop the outbreak right there… ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/11 "2012-05-28T20:26:20Z")
Meh. You’re just a prude. You probably haven’t even tried eating someone’s face. How can you know you dislike it if you haven’t tried it? Huh, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/12 "2012-05-28T20:31:31Z")
Just checking, but has any other news come out of Miami lately? Or is the city strangely quiet? ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/13 "2012-05-28T20:31:43Z")
way to lose face there… ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/14 "2012-05-28T20:31:52Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Meh. You’re just a prude. You probably haven’t even tried eating someone’s face. How can you know you dislike it if you haven’t tried it? Huh, huh? Ever hear a vegetarian say, “Never eat anything with a face”? Well I am no vegetarian but I am pretty serious about, “Never eat a person’s face.” If that means you think I’m a prude, too bad. I don’t know, I mean maybe I am a little repressed or something really, but I still am not persuaded that eating someone’s face (alive OR dead) is ok. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/15 "2012-05-28T20:32:57Z")
(makes an appointment to resurrect this thread in a couple of years, if the zombie Apocalypse hasn’t shut down the internet) ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/16 "2012-05-28T20:34:12Z")
That story made my skin crawl. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/17 "2012-05-28T20:36:15Z")
And so the apocalypse begins. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/18 "2012-05-28T20:56:12Z")
Cocaine, it’s a helluva drug! ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/19 "2012-05-28T21:06:54Z")
“Got your nose!” _—Miami Face Cannibal_ ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367/20 "2012-05-28T21:19:09Z")
If only there had been the same police response the night Slyvia Plath and Ted Hughes met and she bit his face, drawing blood. Think of the tons of self-indulgent, daddy-issue poetastery humanity might have been spared! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chewing-on-peoples-faces/623367.md?page=2)