# I pit chopsticks **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 11, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195 "2012-08-11T15:21:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/41 "2012-08-12T03:54:09Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > A fork is going to make things better, how? Like a motherfuck. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/42 "2012-08-12T12:55:33Z")
If you can’t eat with chopsticks, you’re an uncivilized heathen who probably doesn’t even know to wash the rice, and no self respecting ‘slant eye’ would want to eat at your stupid house, anyway. If you can’t eat rice with chopsticks, and not get it on your shirt, you’re an uncultured cretin who should eat in the yard! Forks are for babies, grow up! ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/43 "2012-08-12T13:54:12Z")
Wow, the racism in this **OP** is appalling. Those dirty, slanty-eyed dinks aren’t troglodytes. They’re people. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/44 "2012-08-12T14:15:53Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Forks are for babies, grow up! I thought chopsticks with rubber bands were for babies. I remember one time in Japan a friend of mine ran into a language barrier trying to request a fork. The waitress listened to his request and translated it to ‘You want baby chopstick’ Then disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a smaller set of chopsticks with a rubber band around them. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/45 "2012-08-12T14:29:53Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Forks are for babies, grow up! Bullshit. ever tried to eat a baby with a fork? ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/46 "2012-08-12T14:30:42Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Louis Vuitton makes a great [chopstick](http://www.luxuo.com/most-expensive/louis-vuitton-chopsticks.html) set. A must have. I already have two pairs of rosewood chopsticks. They aren’t Louis Vuitton however. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/47 "2012-08-12T15:14:07Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#): > > I thought chopsticks with rubber bands were for babies. > > I remember one time in Japan a friend of mine ran into a language barrier trying to request a fork. The waitress listened to his request and translated it to ‘You want baby chopstick’ Then disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a smaller set of chopsticks with a rubber band around them. According to John Wayne in _The Fighting Seabees_, the Japanese are “Tojo’s bug-eyed monkeys”. Just want to make sure we’re using the correct racist nonsense here. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/48 "2012-08-12T15:21:50Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Clue by 4 guys. > > He was making FUN of somebody in another thread who could at least be interpreted as being racist regarding their opinion of chopsticks and the yellow devils that use them. > > Parody folks, parody. Well, at least one of you got it. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/49 "2012-08-12T15:37:29Z")
Edit: I posted to remind the OP that parody threads required a link to the thread being parodied, but I see now he actually did so. So, nevermind! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/50 "2012-08-12T17:19:36Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > I worked at a Chinese restaurant when I was young and I learned how people (as in all of the Chinese cooks) eat rice/food with chopsticks…they either bend down next to the plate or bowl, or lift it to their mouth and shovel the rice and food forward with chopsticks into their mouths. > > All of them ate this way. But among Koreans it’s bad table manners to pick up the little bowl of rice that comes with the banchan. Everything stays on the table. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/51 "2012-08-12T17:44:04Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Add “puncture own eardrums” to **TriPolar’s** utility list. I thought that was covered under stab two things. But it’s probably worth mentioning along with poking your own eyes out, and the double self lobotomy. After all, fork users don’t seem to be the creatively thinking types. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/52 "2012-08-12T17:51:28Z")
I once came across a chopstick in the road. I didn’t know what the fuck to do. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/53 "2012-08-12T18:40:25Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I once came across a chopstick in the road. I didn’t know what the fuck to do. Carry two cups of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/54 "2012-08-12T19:11:55Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Well, at least one of you got it. I got it and before the thread got completely derailed I was hoping beyond hope that **slimy** just might read this and realize in some small way where he went wrong in the original thread. Pretty naive, right? ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/55 "2012-08-13T04:01:08Z")
Let’s see you nekulturney mothersuckers lo hei with a fork! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/56 "2012-08-13T05:59:08Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > I was hoping beyond hope that **slimy** just might read this and realize in some small way where he went wrong in the original thread. He didn’t go wrong. It went just like he wanted it to. He’s a troll, plain and simple. Every one of his posts, no matter what the topic, is full of the same condescension, hostility, and illogic, clearly designed to bait the audience. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/57 "2012-08-13T13:53:01Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Louis Vuitton makes a great [chopstick](http://www.luxuo.com/most-expensive/louis-vuitton-chopsticks.html) set. A must have. Those are obviously knockoffs. You can tell by the stitching. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/58 "2012-08-13T14:01:50Z")
chopsticks = hot flung rice or hand cramps Can I just slurp it out of the bowl? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/59 "2012-08-13T14:08:10Z")
I guess I’m just a “primitive fucking dirty slanty-eyed troglodyte” lover, then. Oh wait, I am - my SO _is_ of Chinese descent. > [@Chefguy](#): > > Just try masturbating with chopsticks. A sliver in the dick is no laughing matter. And masturbating with a fork is easy? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195/60 "2012-08-13T14:09:03Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > And masturbating with a fork is easy? :eek: I agree that “tined for his pleasure” just doesn’t have the same ring. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-chopsticks/631195.md?page=4)