# I pit crying babies in public places **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 25, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368 "2010-01-25T15:52:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/1 "2010-01-25T15:52:08Z")
No, actually, I don’t. I pit the parents who won’t shut the kids up. If you’re going to bring a baby with you into a public place (ie, a restaurant like the one we tried to eat dinner at last night) and the baby starts howling, it is your responsibility to shut it up. Either shove a bottle in its mouth or take it out of the room. Period. When you have people asking you to do so, don’t just stand their bouncing the baby and tell the other people to fuck off. And a big hearty fuck-you to the management who wouldn’t do anything about it either. That’s why we left, along with several others. You could hear that little spawn of Satan howling throughout the restaurant and you had people complaining to you about it, including me. And all you did was say “sorry about that”. I don’t feel in the slightest bit sorry about the people we stopped on the way in and warned about the screamer who went elsewhere for dinner, thereby costing you revenue. Hope you enjoyed that little screamfest, you ignorant dipshits - it cost you enough money. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/2 "2010-01-25T16:06:25Z")
As a father to three children, I have to agree. If your baby is crying, or your toddler is being rambunctious, you have the responsibility to remove the child for the comfort of the other diners. There is a reason why we no longer go out to eat after six, if at all. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/3 "2010-01-25T16:06:49Z")
The thing is, did you stay for your full meal, and pay for it? And leave without saying anything to the management? If so, they have no incentive to change how they handle these situations in the future. I’ve only run into a _determined_ crying baby one time in a nice restaurant. (I don’t count less than five minutes/mild fussing type noises.) We asked the waitress to get a manager, and told him that we couldn’t possibly enjoy a meal in the circumstances. We were still eating our appetizers, so we told him we would pay for them, but we were canceling the rest of our orders and leaving. He looked plenty unhappy, said “but what can I do?” type things a few times, and in the end didn’t charge us for appetizers either. I really don’t know what the solution is (from the managers POV) but providing a pleasant atmosphere is part of what a fine restaurant does, and they were failing. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/4 "2010-01-25T16:14:10Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > The thing is, did you stay for your full meal, and pay for it? And leave without saying anything to the management? If so, they have no incentive to change how they handle these situations in the future. > > I’ve only run into a _determined_ crying baby one time in a nice restaurant. (I don’t count less than five minutes/mild fussing type noises.) We asked the waitress to get a manager, and told him that we couldn’t possibly enjoy a meal in the circumstances. We were still eating our appetizers, so we told him we would pay for them, but we were canceling the rest of our orders and leaving. He looked plenty unhappy, said “but what can I do?” type things a few times, and in the end didn’t charge us for appetizers either. > > I really don’t know what the solution is (from the managers POV) but providing a pleasant atmosphere is part of what a fine restaurant does, and they were failing. Awesome combination of username and post. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/5 "2010-01-25T16:26:42Z")
I really don’t get manager’s giving the helpless ‘What can I do?’ line. Here’s what you can do, you can ask the table with the baby to leave if they can’t quieten the child after a reasonable period of time. However… > [@](#): > > I pit the parents who won’t shut the kids up. You say this like it’s an easy thing to do. It isn’t. Sometimes a baby just wants to cry/a kid wants to kick up a fuss and nothing in the world is going to stop them. You should pit the parents for not leaving the restaurant, but not for being unable to quieten the baby/kid. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/6 "2010-01-25T16:33:04Z")
How many posts will it take for someone to say “you were that age too, once”, or otherwise take the screaming baby/wishy-washy parent’s side? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/7 "2010-01-25T16:36:06Z")
I extend this Pitting to restaurant staff who see my husband and me and sit us right beside the family with two toddlers and a baby. I get that they’re focusing on seating for waitress convenience/sections, but I don’t see how hard it is to take how annoying a table is likely to be into account when seating other diners. I’ve started asking the hostess to move us if she tries to sit us right next to a family that is likely to be loud (and getting strange looks for my trouble - listen, bitch, not all of us think a howling baby or screaming toddler is the perfect accompaniment to a nice meal). And I would also like to Pit all the people who bring their kids to our local sports pub. Seriously, what the fuck? What part of the sports pub environment makes you think that it’s a McDonalds? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/8 "2010-01-25T16:37:08Z")
> [@otternell](#): > > How many posts will it take for someone to say “you were that age too, once”, or otherwise take the screaming baby/wishy-washy parent’s side? Five more. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/9 "2010-01-25T16:49:26Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > You say this like it’s an easy thing to do. It isn’t. Sometimes a baby just wants to cry/a kid wants to kick up a fuss and nothing in the world is going to stop them. You should pit the parents for not leaving the restaurant, but not for being unable to quieten the baby/kid. Actually, i think it’s pretty clear from the OP that he was making exactly the same point as you are. > [@Clothahump](#): > > …it is your responsibility to shut it up. **Either shove a bottle in its mouth or take it out of the room.** When he says “shut it up,” he doesn’t mean “force it to be quiet”; he means “make sure that it doesn’t disturb everyone else in the restaurant.” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/10 "2010-01-25T16:54:49Z")
Strangle it. After all, if you’re put into a small room with a crying child, you could–conceivably–go insane, and then it would just be a case of self defense. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/11 "2010-01-25T16:55:40Z")
Yes, you’re right, I read that wrong. Wow, 10 posts in and we’re all still agreeing with each other? It just doesn’t feel right… ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/12 "2010-01-25T16:59:10Z")
Okay, so what should parents with children do? Not be allowed to go to restaurants? Babies are at times fussy, and if you’ll simply be patient, the baby will quiet down. It’s not as though parents are deliberately trying to ruin your dining experience. You kid-haters are so solipsistic that you’re willing to forget either being a young child, or having young children. Just kidding. Crying babies need to shut the fuck up. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/13 "2010-01-25T17:00:55Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Five more. I am just not sure if **MeanOldLady** ’s comments should mean that you missed by one, or if we should wait for someone that wholeheartedly espouses that position. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/14 "2010-01-25T17:04:24Z")
Crap, I should have waited an extra post! ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/15 "2010-01-25T17:05:13Z")
Actually I was just thinking that I should have kept my mouth shut (way to go dumbass) and wait to see what the 5th post was. Sometimes I am a total moron. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/16 "2010-01-25T17:07:47Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Strangle it. After all, if you’re put into a small room with a crying child, you could–conceivably–go insane, and then it would just be a case of self defense. To continue on that theme - has the added benefit of possibly enlarging the menu choices. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/17 "2010-01-25T17:11:04Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > To continue on that theme - has the added benefit of possibly enlarging the menu choices. 😉 Baby back ribs and veal. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/18 "2010-01-25T17:22:25Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Baby back ribs and veal. These threads always have a way of coming back to infant canibalism. Jonathan Swift would be so proud. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/19 "2010-01-25T17:26:33Z")
One busy evening back in my waitering days, we had a large family group occupying several pushed-together tables in a smallish back room, and the youngest member (a toddler) proceeded to scream her fool head off for a good twenty minutes without stopping, with no acknowledgment or reprimand from anyone else at the table. After two other tables complained to my manager, he reluctantly approached their table and asked, as genially as he could, if they could please do something to quiet her down. The family responded with instant, unbridled fury. “She’s THREE YEARS OLD,” snarled the elderly matriarch. “THREE YEARS OLD!” Repeating this as if to say, it’s completely out of our hands; the kid’s running the show. My manager apologized, said he hated to have to ask, but other customers had complained… but no, they were in full-on indignant mode, declared they had NEVER been treated so poorly and were leaving RIGHT THAT SECOND. Stood up en masse and herded themselves out, and tried to leave without paying for the food and drinks they’d already consumed. People at two other tables literally applauded as they left. My manager, who couldn’t have handled it any more delicately, was mortified and ended up getting an earful from the owner when someone from the family called to complain about their horrible mistreatment. So, for the restaurant management (at least if you’ve got someone above _you_ who’s going to side with the asshole customer every time, regardless of the situation) there may be no way to win. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/20 "2010-01-25T17:28:01Z")
I’m not sure that its a bad business decision for the majority of restaurants to favor the people with kids. Eventually, the people with babies come back with teenage boys. Upset the childless couple and you are out two people. Start dissing families and you are out a table for six. The parents in question are bores, I’ve eaten more than one restaurant meal out of a stryrofoam box when my kids couldn’t handle dinner. But I’m not sure that the restuarant in question is making a poor decision…depending on the restuarant. Obviously, a high end restaurant that caters to romantic meals and adults should probably ask the people with the crying baby to leave. But Outback Steakhouse…I’m thinking its in there best interest to let people with crying baby stay. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368.md?page=2)