# I pit crying babies in public places **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 25, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368 "2010-01-25T15:52:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![JXJohns](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jxjohns/32/469_2.png) [@JXJohns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JXJohns)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/301 "2010-01-28T05:28:25Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Let me see if I’ve got this right. Yog said he’d scream in the face of a child and you assume that he’s being an internet tough guy and (as you mentioned before) wouldn’t do something in real life like that. So, you don’t believe him and think he’s just doing some internet blustering. This blustering (that you don’t believe anyway) is prompting you to go back and forth about what you WOULD do if he did what you don’t believe he would do? You know, the pretend screaming at your child that is never going to happen because (a) you’re never going to see him in a restaurant and (b) you wouldn’t let your kid cry on and on without removing them? > > Did I get that right? Something like that. Nice work. Here’s a cookie. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/302 "2010-01-28T05:34:11Z")
So, where are we at now? The kid’s screaming, the other diner has come over and yelled at kid, mom has put her foot up other diner’s ass, other diner has stomped mom - did I miss anything? ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/303 "2010-01-28T05:36:24Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > So, where are we at now? The kid’s screaming, the other diner has come over and yelled at kid, mom has put her foot up other diner’s ass, other diner has stomped mom - did I miss anything? Yeah, there’s a burning house involved somewhere now…and a Chili’s that has no crayons…plus a couple cavemen and Romans. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/304 "2010-01-28T05:37:28Z")
There was skull-bashing in there somewhere, too. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/305 "2010-01-28T05:37:33Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > So, where are we at now? The kid’s screaming, the other diner has come over and yelled at kid, mom has put her foot up other diner’s ass, other diner has stomped mom - did I miss anything? Somebody _must_ slide someone else across the bar, or else it’s not a real brawl. Oh, and nuns fighting girl scouts. ---
**Author:** ![JXJohns](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jxjohns/32/469_2.png) [@JXJohns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JXJohns)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/306 "2010-01-28T05:40:53Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > There was skull-bashing in there somewhere, too. Don’t forget the law suit and some hurt feelings too. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/307 "2010-01-28T05:44:10Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > No, you did not use the exact, verbatim phrase “Oh well.” You said “So, if it’s taking her a little longer to calm down than usual you can just butt the hell out,” which is quite different from “If it’s taking her a little longer than usual to calm down, I’ll remove her from the dining area.” > > Riddle me this: If you don’t give two shits about other people’s dining experiences (which, in fact, makes you an A+ douche), why bother to take the kid out of the restaurant “if need be”? What child-calming techniques can be practised outside that can’t be inside? I thought the point of removing the child from the room was to avoid having the restaurant being burdened by the shrill ravings of an inconsolable child. If there’s some other reason, do tell. Exactly! “if it’s taking her a little longer to calm down than usual…” Meaning: I am actively trying to calm her down, not just letting her run wild with no supervision (at which point you’d have the right to call me on it), and it’s taking longer than usual but I AM TRYING TO CALM HER DOWN AND DOING EVERYTHING IN MY POWER. Are you going to flip out when someone is trying to solve the problem but (for whatever reason) failing? If so, that makes you the douche in the equation. Another reason for removing her other than making others feel more comfortable? Hey, did you ever think that maybe it’s the atmosphere of the restaurant that’s making her cry and carry on? Maybe the high-chair is uncomfortable, maybe the noise in the restaurant is bothering her, maybe you’re sitting near the kitchen area and the heat is bothering her, maybe she’s just in a bad mood and a trip to the quiet car will help her calm down. And before you come out with the, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have brought your kid to a place like that” response: I’m not fucking Kreskin, ok? I didn’t know my kid might react to a restaurant atmosphere in that manner. You take your kid with you, they flip out for whatever unforeseeable reason kids flip out for, and you deal with it. If, while I’m dealing with it (for my kid’s comfort, not yours), you decide that I’m not dealing with it fast enough or to the manner of your liking and decided to comment on it, you’ll be getting a response from me and you might not like it. I don’t see what’s so hard to figure out about this. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/308 "2010-01-28T05:44:43Z")
Can we break chairs over other people’s heads, too? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/309 "2010-01-28T05:49:42Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > \ > Another reason for removing her other than making others feel more comfortable? Hey, did you ever think that maybe it’s the atmosphere of the restaurant that’s making her cry and carry on? Maybe the high-chair is uncomfortable, maybe the noise in the restaurant is bothering her, maybe you’re sitting near the kitchen area and the heat is bothering her, maybe she’s just in a bad mood and a trip to the quiet car will help her calm down. \ To quote you, I don’t give two shits why your kid is continuing to cry and bother everyone else in the restaurant - if she won’t stop, she has to go. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/310 "2010-01-28T05:49:44Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Can we break chairs over other people’s heads, too? Not the kid’s. We have to draw the line somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/311 "2010-01-28T05:51:20Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > To quote you, I don’t give two shits why your kid is continuing to cry and bother everyone else in the restaurant - if she won’t stop, she has to go. The unstoppable force has met the immovable object. Let the wait staff deal with it. ETA: Or, I should say, in keeping with my “fuck everyone else. every man for himself” philosophy, if you feel that you don’t give a shit about my feelings (and you shouldn’t) then go ahead and say whatever you want. I will, however, respond. That’s life. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/312 "2010-01-28T06:01:47Z")
“Waiter! There’s a crying baby in my soup!” ---
**Author:** ![Fuji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Fuji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/313 "2010-01-28T11:30:55Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > The unstoppable force has met the immovable object. Let the wait staff deal with it. And this is _precisely_ what makes you such a massive, fucking asshole. If you weren’t so busy playing the role of “unstoppable/immovable douchebag”, you’d do the decent thing and take your fucking kid out of the restaurant. At a certain point, it doesn’t really matter whether your’e trying to stifle them or not. If, after a few minutes of trying to soothe your kid, they’re still making a lot of noise - _take your fucking kid out of the restaurant_. “Let the wait staff deal with it.” Really. What a selfish, passive-aggressive tool you are. Here’s hoping you get the dearly departed **VCO3** as your waiter. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/314 "2010-01-28T12:08:37Z")
Just a question for those with the ‘it’s your problem not mine’ attitude. Would it be any different if you were, say, with a friend who had too much to drink and was shouting at the top of their voice in an otherwise quiet restaurant? ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/315 "2010-01-28T12:14:11Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > The unstoppable force has met the immovable object. Let the wait staff deal with it. Waiters are here to seat people, take orders, bring food and take money. Oh, and whine about tips :p. They are not here to arbitrate petty grievances. In fact, due to corporate pressures and codes of conduct and so forth, they often will not be able to tell you to shut the fuck up and get the fuck out, no matter how strongly they feel you should. And they do. Ooooh yes they do. So your position, while \*seeming \*to be even handed, really isn’t. And makes you a massive tool if you try to pull that card to keep a freaking out toddler on the premises. I don’t care if you’d have to sign a blood compact with the Dark Prince to keep your sprogs at a reasonable decibel level : if you can’t do it in a timely fashion, it’s elementary fucking courtesy to take them out. Outside, I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/316 "2010-01-28T14:07:26Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > 3rd party chiming in… > > It seems like you are so invested in winning this argument that you’re purposely trying to find fault with her scenario. Ah, no, I’m responding to what she wrote, rather than what you seemingly think she wrote. > [@](#): > > Of course babies are not _always_ capable of behaving and I’m not sure why you’re debating that because she didn’t say that. No, she said that parents should not bring kids out in “public areas” until they can behave. Dunno what you find hard to understand about that. > [@](#): > > Let’s look again at what she said: > > She said nothing about expecting a baby to always be capable of behaving. I doubt that anyone here expects that. That’s just plain silly. Yeah, it’s silly. That why her position is silly. > [@](#): > > What I think people _do_ expect is that if the child starts throwing a fit and the adult is unable to calm the child that the parent remove the child (at least temporarily) from the dining area. Maybe a walk to the front of the restaurant to look at a fountain or painting or look out the window. If it’s warm out maybe outside to look at flowers or something? Yes, the parent’s food might get cold in the meantime but it’s their child and (as they want us all to realize) their child comes first to them. > > That’s common courtesy. I would never have thought of that! :smack: Oh wait. I did. Repeatedly. > [@](#): > > Anyone who feels that is unreasonable or wants to invite someone to kiss their ass for expecting common courtesy is a shitbag and I shudder to think what hellspawn they are raising with that defective inner compass. > > What she said was that if a child cannot be somewhat well behaved at home, what on earth would compel someone to think the child could behave in a restaurant? Personally I think people like that simply don’t care if others are affected by their choice, they just want what they want. Fair enough, but to act as if it’s everyone else who is an unreasonable asshole is just delusional. Own your assholeishness. Again, what she said is that people who have kids who can’t behave should not take them out. So I ask you directly - should parents with children too young to behave take them out on public? Yes or no? are they 'assholes" if they do so? > [@](#): > > As far as what **Shot With Guns** said about being mature enough to understand, I think she might be referring to children at around six or seven who (I know I’ve seen it) think it’s time to run around get out pent up energy while mom and dad and uncle Joe drink coffee and chat. If these are DOPER children we’re talking about… well we know they’re all reading Shakespeare at three and quantum physics at six so I’d think knowing that playing in a restaurant is wrong would be a snap. > > So, in summary, I certainly don’t cringe if I see a child in a restaurant. I think for the most part parents are courteous of other diners and handle outbursts smashingly. It’s only when the screaming goes on unchecked for at least five minutes that I start twitching and think about exiting. The kid can’t help it, the parent should be the considerate one. It would be no different than if I took my grandfather, who has dementia, to a restaurant and he decided to pitch a wild fit and I just sat there and let him. I wouldn’t and I can’t even tuck him under my arm and make a run for it! You simply are not reading what is being written. Shit, how many times must I say that I **agree** that parents have a positive duty to be considerate? Ten, twenty? What I’m objecting to is the notion, written in black and white, that parents **should not bring their kids out at all** until they can “behave”. For some bizzare reason, you wish to interpret **Shot With Gun** ’s argument to mean - well, what the consensus means. If that was really the case, there would be no argument then, would there? Look at what she wrote. > [@](#): > > Parents should not bring their children into public areas where they might cause a disturbance until they have reasonable cause to believe that their child is capable of behaving. This thread is about a crying _infant_ at Chili’s. How can you twist this in any form other than ‘don’t bring your infant in the first place’? Where are you getting all this “kiss my ass” stuff from? Not me, I assure you. Please read my posts, before attributing to me arguments others are making. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/317 "2010-01-28T14:43:47Z")
When I have a baby (which I will take with me wherever I go) and it cries in public, the fact that we am pissing off people like the OP who is as helpless as I am to make the kid shut up… will be a great comfort. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/318 "2010-01-28T14:47:50Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > She apologized to me and shushed up little Timmy and Tammy, and all was well. I love that your made-up names here are like halfway legit names and not some stupid made-up crap like “Britleighh and Ashtonne”. I skipped a bunch of posts in this thread but will go on record as stating that I am opposed to any type of screaming in restaurants, whether it is from a baby, another customer with anger-management issues, the chef, etc. If I want to listen to screaming at the dinner table, I’ll just eat at home. (Ha. That’s a joke. In my house I lay down the iron fist of justice if anyone tries to give me lip at the dinner table.) ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/319 "2010-01-28T14:47:51Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > No you wouldn’t because first of all, nobody would expect a grown man to be screaming at a baby. Second, if you make any move on me I will totally sue your ass off. I’m not going to touch your kid, but my face will be inches from his and I will be yelling at him. You are right on one thing. Nobody would expect a grown man to do that because it isn’t something a grown man would do. It’s something a immature idiot would do. And you think you will sue someone for making “any move” on you? For what? I hate to break it to you, but you are committing the intentional tort of assault by yelling in the child’s face. Do you honestly think a jury is going to award you dime one if someone stops you from doing that? > [@YogSosoth](#): > > And don’t tempt me, I’ve done this before. It was at a Denny’s on a Friday night and I totally yelled at some moron kid. It ended well. The parents got annoyed/scared and decided to leave. I got my peace and quiet. You have some serious issues. Spending your Friday night in Denny’s is probably the least of them. I’d suggest you had a beer and relax, but I know where that one would go… ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/320 "2010-01-28T14:49:23Z")
This thread is surreal. The number of times people are subjected to uncontrollable baby crying without parents trying to cure the problem is small. And yet so many people are stabbing each other with virtual forks over it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368.md?page=17)