# I pit crying babies in public places **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 25, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368 "2010-01-25T15:52:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/101 "2010-01-26T00:20:27Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I don’t think it is absurd to say that you would kill a baby in situation where it is your life or the baby’s life. The fact that some people have lived so sheltered a life that they cannot even process the theoreticals of situations like that is absurd. It is not sheltered to have lived a life free of making nightmarish decisions. Plenty of us have seen horror in our lives. I watched my Mother die in front of me when I was four years old. I haven’t forgotten it, and I understood perfectly what happened without having it explained to me. My Father remarried, an abusive psychopath, who was a stay-at-home Mom, who I had to stay with. I lived my own horror, as I am sure plenty of people here have as well. I’ve watched people die. I’ve seen people mistreat each other. I’ve known rapists and murderers. I’ve known people who died of drug overdoses, I’ve been in abusive relationships, and I’ve been next to homeless. And yet, I’ve never had to make the decision to murder a baby. I must be sheltered. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/102 "2010-01-26T00:20:29Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Trouble is, you can’t advocate something absurd, then advocate something similar and claim the second incident is hyperbolic. We’re not mind-readers. Or fortune tellers. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/103 "2010-01-26T00:20:49Z")
> [@villa](#): > > Wouldn’t the sensible thing to do be to check first if they were on the run, protecting their biological child from being snatched by adopters? Your call could make that happen, you know. > **[Meet the Parents: The Dark Side of Overseas Adoption](https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2009/03/meet-parents-dark-side-overseas-adoption/)** > > A Midwestern kid's family believes his birth parents put him up for adoption. An Indian couple claim he was kidnapped from them and sold. Who's right? I doubt the parents featured in the above would find your joke amusing. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/104 "2010-01-26T00:23:25Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > It is not sheltered to have lived a life free of making nightmarish decisions. Plenty of us have seen horror in our lives. I watched my Mother die in front of me when I was four years old. I haven’t forgotten it, and I understood perfectly what happened without having it explained to me. My Father remarried, an abusive psychopath, who was a stay-at-home Mom, who I had to stay with. I lived my own horror, as I am sure plenty of people here have as well. I’ve watched people die. I’ve seen people mistreat each other. I’ve known rapists and murderers. I’ve known people who died of drug overdoses, I’ve been in abusive relationships, and I’ve been next to homeless. And yet, I’ve never had to make the decision to murder a baby. > > I must be sheltered. In none of the scenarios you have described does it sound like you have ever been in a position where it was necessary to make a that decision either. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/105 "2010-01-26T00:24:49Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > On the few occasions I have had to eat at Denny’s, such situations in which it was around 2:00 a.m. and I was starving, I would be irate over the lousy parents who have an infant out at such an inappropriate hour. I would probably also be wondering how to discretely gather enough information to make a call to Children’s Protective Services. [These parents would probably not find this joking amusing.](http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2006/07/18/photos/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/106 "2010-01-26T00:25:25Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Heh, how perfectly circular. > > The issue is of course what “old enough” means. > > Age merely indicates a certain degree of _average_ experience. People generally learn through experience. Forbid the experience, and you impede the learning. > > I’ve seen _adults_ who had poor social skills - indeed, who behave like self-entitled assholes. What was “so fucking hard” about behaving properly, that _they_ did not “figure it out”? > > Not that I’m implying that self-entitled assholes got that way because their parents did not take 'em out it public! Rather, that there is no ‘magic age’ at which one miraculously learns how to behave properly. It is a constant _process_ of enculturation. Locking a kid at home “until they are ready” is not a good option. All you have to do is start an “appropriate dress” for the very same “nice restaurant” to see the people who have yet to be properly acculturated come out of the woodwork. (“I don’t see what’s wrong about wearing my ballcap in a nice restaurant. I’m paying for the meal!”) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/107 "2010-01-26T00:26:04Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I don’t think it is absurd to say that you would kill a baby in situation where it is your life or the baby’s life. The fact that some people have lived so sheltered a life that they cannot even process the theoreticals of situations like that is absurd. I can process the heck out of it, myself, and even supported the idea as realistic by citing a nonfiction book as describing such a situation, but if you say “I’d kill a baby that was driving me crazy” and “I’d call CPS”, the extremity of the first statement undercuts your claim that you were only kidding about the second. Besides, it’s dumb. The mere presence of an infant accompanied by adults in a public place at 2 a.m. is in no way indicative of abuse or neglect or indeed anything the CPS was set up to prevent. For further comments I refer you to the wisdom of Dave Chappelle: > [@](#): > > [The limo driver says] “Hey, I gotta make a stop real quick.” At 3 o’clock in the morning, and I didn’t know he was taking me to the ghetto at first. I started looking out the window, see gun store, gun store, liquor store, gun store, where the fuck you taking me? This don’t look good. He didn’t say shit. He just pulled up in front of an old rickety building that looked like a project. I’ve never been there before, I’m not sure if it was a project, it certainly had all the familiar symptoms of a project. A fucking crackhead ran this way, tktktktktktk! Then another one jumped out of a tree and shit, tktktk! The guy said, “I’ll be right back,” and left me. Took the keys with him and just left me. At 3 o’clock in the morning, in front of a project, in a fucking limousine. This was not good. I was like, “I gotta look around, find some landmarks, see if I can figure out where I’m at. I might have to escape on foot.” Now this is when I know I’m in a bad neighborhood, you only see this in the worst neighborhoods. Remember, this was 3 o’clock in the morning. I looked out the window, and there was a fucking baby standing on the corner. And the baby didn’t even look scared, he was just standing there. And it made me sad you know, because I wanted to help the baby. I was like, “Mm mm I don’t trust you either, [mimes locking car doors] click! clllick! The old baby-on-the-corner trick, eh? Not gonna fall for that shit. But where is this limousine driver?” As time goes by I start feeling worse, I was like, “What the hell is wrong with me, I’m scared of a baby! But this baby could be in trouble, he may need my help. I gotta do something.” But I wasn’t gonna get out of the car. I’m serious, man. I just cranked the window open a little bit. “Hey baby! Baby, go home, man! It’s 3 o’clock in the morning man, what the fuck are you doing up?” The baby says, “I’m selling weed, nigga!” ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/108 "2010-01-26T00:35:19Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > [These parents would probably not find this joking amusing.](http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2006/07/18/photos/index.html) That was a rotten situation. But at the same time CPS is often blasted because they didn’t investigate a situation thoroughly enough, overlooked red flags, and children where abused or killed. I think children are too coddled in this society, but even I think sometimes it is better for there to have been an investigation which might be more than a little uncomfortable that found no wrong-doing; than, to ignore possible crimes. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/109 "2010-01-26T00:40:44Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Hey, idiot this the BBQ Pit where hyperbole is pretty common. Except you’re an all the time idiot. You’re a fucking moron if you think calling CPS is a rational, reasonable answer to a family having an infant in a Denny’s at 2am. No. I’m wrong. You’re just a moron. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/110 "2010-01-26T00:49:45Z")
> [@tacoloco](#): > > Except you’re an all the time idiot. > > You’re a fucking moron if you think calling CPS is a rational, reasonable answer to a family having an infant in a Denny’s at 2am. > > No. I’m wrong. > > You’re just a moron. So, I guess I should just strangle the brat, so I can enjoy my meal in peace. Afterwards I guess I should drop the corpse off at Freudian Slit’s so she can barbeque the next day. That’s sacrasm in case anyone is anyone has inhaled too many diaper fumes to be able to reasonably process information. Seriously, a baby out at 2:00 a.m. doesn’t seem a little wierd to you? I would wonder at least. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/111 "2010-01-26T00:52:11Z")
So, your position is that CPS should be called for situations that could reasonably be considered “a little weird.” Interesting. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/112 "2010-01-26T01:00:40Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > So, your position is that CPS should be called for situations that could reasonably be considered “a little weird.” > > Interesting. I think it’s probably a good idea to be aware of your surroundings and if something seems odd, question it. The neighbors of Jaycee Lee Dugard’s kidnappers had seen the tents in the backyard for years. Some of them had also seen the kidnap victim and her two children, but nobody asked themselves any further questions, questions that in hindsight it’s easy to say should have been asked. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/113 "2010-01-26T01:01:10Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > It is not sheltered to have lived a life free of making nightmarish decisions. Plenty of us have seen horror in our lives. I watched my Mother die in front of me when I was four years old. I haven’t forgotten it, and I understood perfectly what happened without having it explained to me. My Father remarried, an abusive psychopath, who was a stay-at-home Mom, who I had to stay with. I lived my own horror, as I am sure plenty of people here have as well. I’ve watched people die. I’ve seen people mistreat each other. I’ve known rapists and murderers. I’ve known people who died of drug overdoses, I’ve been in abusive relationships, and I’ve been next to homeless. And yet, I’ve never had to make the decision to murder a baby. For the very first (and possibly only) time, I have no snark for you. (Mods? Sticky?) ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/114 "2010-01-26T01:03:22Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Hey, idiot this the BBQ Pit where hyperbole is pretty common. The problem is that, for us to easily identify hyperbole, it needs to be distinguishable from your general manner of posting. When just about everything you say is sociopathic or idiotic, it becomes hard to separate the hyperbole from the idiocy. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/115 "2010-01-26T01:22:36Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I think it’s probably a good idea to be aware of your surroundings and if something seems odd, question it. The neighbors of Jaycee Lee Dugard’s kidnappers had seen the tents in the backyard for years. Some of them had also seen the kidnap victim and her two children, but nobody asked themselves any further questions, questions that in hindsight it’s easy to say should have been asked. Right, this situation is almost identical to someone bringing a toddler to Denny’s past midnight. And “questioning something” is almost identical to calling CPS. Tell me, are there _actual_ rabbits living in your brain, or is it just the warren? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/116 "2010-01-26T01:48:05Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I doubt the parents featured in the above would find your joke amusing. But ZPG, “A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.” [Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal"](http://www.victorianweb.org/previctorian/swift/modest.html) ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/117 "2010-01-26T02:17:52Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > At least, I’m honest enough to admitt I would do whatever was necessary to survive. I wonder, Freudian Slit, what you’re reactions would be in a life or death situation? At least, I don’t advocate cannibalizing them. I told you so. 😛 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/118 "2010-01-26T02:25:50Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > So there you are, at a nice restaurant, and there are a couple of kids, seven or eight years old, playing tag between the dinner tables. > > Is surreptitiously tripping them as they run by your table acceptable? Just asking, yup, that’s it, I’m just asking. 😉 Not only acceptable but required. Those linked stories were awful. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/119 "2010-01-26T02:26:16Z")
The last time I was in this situation, I was with a male friend, and we were at Red Lobster. I realize that RL’s not exactly gourmet, but you can easily rack up a $100 tab for two, so I do find it more annoying than if we were at, say, Applebee’s. My friend’s way of handling the screaming newborn-having parents behind us was to look directly at them periodically and say to me, “I wish someone would shut that fucking baby up.” Not exactly Miss Manners, but it did work. After about 10 minutes and hearing him say it 3 times, they did ask for boxes, and they did leave. Not without giving him a very mean look though! It worked for me. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2010, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368/120 "2010-01-26T02:35:42Z")
As part of the compact that parents agree to remove crying babies when they cannot be quickly soothed, two things will be necessary: climate controlled foyers so that said babies won’t have to be taken out into the elements would be first. Second would be that never, ever again will any busybody asshole attack any mother and suggest that she leave or make her baby eat under a blanket or on a toilet because it drinks from a breast, not a bottle. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-crying-babies-in-public-places/526368.md?page=7)