# I pit dating **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 2, 2007, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098 "2007-08-02T07:36:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nietzsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8dc957/32.png) [@Nietzsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nietzsche)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/41 "2007-08-02T15:31:24Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] OK, I’m not disagreeing with your first paragraph, since I finding asking people out really difficult. But I still do it. [/quote] I envy you. Honestly, I’m not just saying that. Folks who can shrug it off (even though they very much feel the pain) are very valiant in my eyes. > [@](#): > > As for the second–don’t ask those women out again. You say you don’t like the games. Then don’t play their games. Once you ask someone out, if she says no, don’t ask her again. Let it be her loss if she wants to play stupid games, and let her find a game-playing man. No worries, I don’t ask \* at all\* so I don’t have to worry. But it’s all part of the game, my friend. Thankfully, such games fall from favor as ladies mature and realize that they chase away good candidates in favor of absolute squids with such antics. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/42 "2007-08-02T15:33:26Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] What about standing outside their window at night with a boom box? [/QUOTE] Now that might be good, if only because I will have to yell out the window, “Dude, how the hell did you become so strong?” (I remember how much my old boom box weighed, after all.) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/43 "2007-08-02T15:33:56Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] 1. Well, she couldn’t very well say it out straight away, because it wasn’t true - within months she _was_ dating a guy from the office. Of course, we may argue that she considered long and hard over whether she could break her usual rule for me, but I’d laugh in your face. [/quote] Well, that’s just rude. And stupid. But, I wonder what you would have preferred? “I’m just not that into you, sorry.” Would that be better? I’m guessing she was trying to be polite, by saying she didn’t date guys from work. But for some girls that _is_ a hard-and-fast rule. Personally I think it’s just asking for trouble to date at work. > [@](#): > > 1. You’ve got a mighty lot of nerve deciding why anyone decides to ask anyone out. :rolleyes: I’m sorry, I wasn’t actually referring to you. I just dumped all my thoughts into one post. I was really responding to **Tel’s** comment about dating uglier girls and sort of vaguely commenting “If so many guys didn’t ask girls out just because they were pretty…” and sort of dropped it in the middle of my other post. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/44 "2007-08-02T15:34:54Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] What about standing outside their window at night with a boom box? [/QUOTE] “I’ll give you this boom box if you’ll go out with me.” “Aw comeon!” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/45 "2007-08-02T15:37:01Z")
[QUOTE=Nietzsche] Let me put it this way… For some of us, sliding down a 100 feet long Samurai sword buck nekkid while using our genetalia as brakes would be a less painful experience. So yes, it _is_ that painful. If it weren’t, you ladies would be a doing a LOT more asking than you do. [/QUOTE] I was used to being able to ask guys to dance without anybody thinking anything about it - then one time I asked a dude from a different part of the country and sweet lord Jesus Christ, you would’a thought he was being assaulted by a squad of amazons! Frankly, if that had been the reaction the first time I asked a guy to dance, I doubt I would have done it again 😛 Good thing it wasn’t, I know it’s him and his pals who were idiots. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/46 "2007-08-02T15:38:59Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] I thought neither side brought the U-Haul until the _second_ date? 🙂 [/QUOTE] They’re lesbians, they bought their own trailers from Home Depot after graduation. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/47 "2007-08-02T15:42:06Z")
[QUOTE=AHoosierMama] Is it really THAT painful to get rejected once in a while? [/QUOTE] No, not really. But the operative phrase here is “once in a while.” Replace it with “nearly every fucking time”, and then yes – it is really that painful. I remember a thread a while back in which several women were terribly insulted and hurt if they approached their mates for sex and were turned down. It made them feel really unattractive, because any request for sex should be met with resounding enthusiasm. Welcome to my lifestyle. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/48 "2007-08-02T15:45:09Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] No, not really. But the operative phrase here is “once in a while.” Replace it with “nearly every fucking time”, and then yes – it is really that painful. I remember a thread a while back in which several women were terribly insulted and hurt if they approached their mates for sex and were turned down. It made them feel really unattractive, because any request for sex should be met with resounding enthusiasm. Welcome to my lifestyle. [/QUOTE] Fuckin’ _preach_ it, brother! “Just take the hint and ask out uglier girls” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/49 "2007-08-02T15:49:47Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] Fuckin’ _preach_ it, brother! “Just take the hint and ask out uglier girls” :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Sometimes I get the feeling you just come into these threads to disagree and take umbrage with every piece of advice given. Seeing as how it’s the Pit, I can’t blame you. But I really don’t think that comment was meant in the way you are taking it. Or at least, I don’t mean my follow-up comment that way. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/50 "2007-08-02T15:59:05Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] You left out: [/QUOTE] I left out a number of variations on a hideous theme. Here’s an oldie but still one of my favorites: Her: I had a great time tonight! Me: Me too! I’ll call you in a couple of days. Her: Great! I look forward to it! Please call me! I can’t wait 'til you call me! Make sure you call me! _A couple of days later_ Roommate: Hello? Me: Hi, is Becky there? RM: Yes, she is. She’s sitting right here. I’m looking at her right now. She is most definitely here, and available to talk. Just now we were talking about how there are no great guys to date, and how she wishes a nice guy would call her. In fact, she’s been waiting by the phone for days, just hoping that some guy would call her. Hold on, I’ll get her. _backgound discussion_ RM: Um… She wants to know who’s calling. Me: It’s tdn. RM: Um… She’s not here right now. Game, set, and match. Well done. Lie to me, lead me on, and then insult my intelligence. Total triple play. No doubt she thought this was a compassionate way of letting me down. No, insulting my intelligence is not compassionate. It’s cruel and stupid. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/51 "2007-08-02T16:04:06Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] Sometimes I get the feeling you just come into these threads to disagree and take umbrage with every piece of advice given. Seeing as how it’s the Pit, I can’t blame you. But I really don’t think that comment was meant in the way you are taking it. Or at least, I don’t mean my follow-up comment that way. [/QUOTE] Dearie, you’re getting a lot of stick in this thread, and you’re taking it all in stride. Good for you! And you’re getting some stick from me, but I’m posting from a pretty dark place right now. Don’t take any of it personally. But the advice to date uglier girls? That may work for some, but for me, getting turned down by uglier girls is not exactly a huge confidence builder. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/52 "2007-08-02T16:06:39Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] RM: Um… She’s not here right now. [/QUOTE] Are you kidding? That was the perfect opportunity to ask out the roommate! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/53 "2007-08-02T16:09:22Z")
I like these dating threads, if only because they remind me of this [classic of the genre](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6456753&postcount=28), courtesy of our very own **garius**. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/54 "2007-08-02T16:10:34Z")
[QUOTE=Nietzsche] I envy you. Honestly, I’m not just saying that. Folks who can shrug it off (even though they very much feel the pain) are very valiant in my eyes. No worries, I don’t ask \* at all\* so I don’t have to worry. But it’s all part of the game, my friend. Thankfully, such games fall from favor as ladies mature and realize that they chase away good candidates in favor of absolute squids with such antics. [/QUOTE] Thanks. Mind you, it’s never worked, so I have to question my wisdom for staying with it. Dating does suck. In my darker moments, I ponder how to get around it. So far, I have decided on either arranged marriages or hermithood. Anyone with me? ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/55 "2007-08-02T16:12:22Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Shall I describe the email I just got from someone at POF complaining that I didn’t specify in my profile that I don’t want to date someone who lives more than a thousand miles away from me? [/QUOTE] Ok ok, I get the hint already. > [@Nava](#): > > Jesus Christ, you would’a thought he was being assaulted by a squad of amazons! So how are _you_ doing? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/56 "2007-08-02T16:13:50Z")
My favorite: After a couple of weeks of flirty back-and-forth, I ask this cute little minx out. “Sure! Come on by after work, and let’s grab something to eat here, then we’ll go out and have fun.” Oh yeah. Let’s do that. I get there, and we get food on the house, plus a drink or two. We’re having great conversation. Yay! So we’re getting up to leave, and suddenly, the bar phone rings. The 'tender grabs it. It’s for my “date.” She takes it at the bar, and after a couple of furtive minutes of conversation, she returns to the table. “Sorry. We can’t go out.” “No?” “My boyfriend is in town.” “Your, uh, boyfriend?” “Yeah. He just called. He wants to go out tonight.” “Uh…” Never talked to her again. There were a few possibilities to this scenario, and all of them, as far as I could see, were fucked up. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/57 "2007-08-02T16:15:01Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] Thanks. Mind you, it’s never worked, so I have to question my wisdom for staying with it. Dating does suck. In my darker moments, I ponder how to get around it. So far, I have decided on either arranged marriages or hermithood. Anyone with me? [/QUOTE] Hermithood sucks, too. I’ve seen what happens to someone who goes hermit–specifically, my father–and it’s not pretty. Becoming old and being alone should frighten you. (I guess that leaves arranged marriage…) There’s only one way around the problem: have as large a number of people as possible passing socially through your life. That way, the chances of meeting someone who is interested in you is increased. That is what I am trying to do. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/58 "2007-08-02T16:23:02Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Hermithood sucks, too. I’ve seen what happens to someone who goes hermit–specifically, my father–and it’s not pretty. Becoming old and being alone should frighten you. (I guess that leaves arranged marriage…) There’s only one way around the problem: have as large a number of people as possible passing socially through your life. That way, the chances of meeting someone who is interested in you is increased. That is what I am trying to do. [/QUOTE] Well, I was thinking more pseudo-hermithood. We could live in a cave _system,_ with everyone having their own cave connected to the others. Actually, though, being old and alone doesn’t scare me. What scares me is settling for someone just because they’ll have me. My parents did that, and well…it ain’t pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Nietzsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8dc957/32.png) [@Nietzsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nietzsche)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/59 "2007-08-02T16:29:49Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] So far, I have decided on either arranged marriages or hermithood. Anyone with me? [/QUOTE] Put me down in the hermithood column. Arranged marriages are like hostile takeovers. There is one other possible avenue… mail order brides! Ahh… nothing spells love like picking your signifigant other out of a catalogue like you would a circular saw. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098/60 "2007-08-02T16:33:11Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] No. [/quote] “I came here to work out, not to meet people.” “I came here to do my grocery shopping, not to meet people.” “I came here to drink coffee and write poetry, not to meet people.” “I came here to hang out with my friends, not to meet people.” “I came here to pray, not to meet people.” “I came here to get my teeth cleaned, not to meet people.” “Sure! Can my boyfriend come along?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-dating/414098.md?page=4)