# I pit Diamonds02 and his honk-happy friend **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 13, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065 "2011-12-13T19:39:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/161 "2012-05-24T19:18:42Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > Gotta start reading slower. I wondered how she was going to shit on someone’s dick. No, I think your first impression was correct and that her auto spell check changed it to ‘deck’. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2012, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/162 "2012-05-24T19:29:39Z")
What gets me about **Diamonds02** is that she doesn’t think any of her schemes through. Poop on a deck can be washed off with a garden hose. You have to sneak into their house and poop in their toaster. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/163 "2012-05-25T03:42:27Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > What gets me about **Diamonds02** is that she doesn’t think any of her schemes through. Poop on a deck can be washed off with a garden hose. You have to sneak into their house and poop in their toaster. Omigosh, _when_ did you figure it out? We left that for you in the middle of your St. Patrick’s Spank-The-Leprechaun party, and as of last week, you were still sniffing around (and we were swearing up and down that we didn’t smell a thing).\* \*Yeah, we slipped your live-in Samoan masseur a couple of Jacksons to play along… with his inimitable _“Of what funny ambiance is the which do you speaking, my Monkboy?”_ ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/164 "2012-05-25T13:04:00Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > This guy may have some useful tips for you, Diamond: > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaZuBziWLgk](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaZuBziWLgk) > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-v1zV8n0cA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-v1zV8n0cA) > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV9YzBmtmVU](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV9YzBmtmVU) > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6dbKDaGQ8M](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6dbKDaGQ8M) > [@Smeghead](#): > > > [@Kal](#): > > > > [Mitchell & Webb farming sketches.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pDTiFkXgEE) Note: Bit sweary. > > Welp, that confirms it. I am invisible. > > (Post #98, if anyone can see this) To be frank, there’s a big difference between a bare URL to YouTube or some other site and one that _actually gives everyone else some clue as to what you’re linking to_. Not everyone is going to follow every link offsite, particularly when you don’t give any idea as to what it’s about. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/165 "2012-05-25T13:16:32Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > To be frank, there’s a big difference between a bare URL to YouTube or some other site and one that _actually gives everyone else some clue as to what you’re linking to_. Not everyone is going to follow every link offsite, particularly when you don’t give any idea as to what it’s about. Yeah, I haven’t followed any of the above links, but I was wondering if someone would post them until I saw **Kal** ’s link. I still haven’t followed that link but I’m pretty sure it’s what I was thinking of. Had no idea of what Dewey’s would be and I just skipped over them. I was thinking of posting them myself. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/166 "2012-05-25T16:01:37Z")
Not to mention those of us who are blocked from YouTube while _ahem_ at work. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![pikey\_pete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pikey\_pete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pikey_pete)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/167 "2012-05-25T19:32:28Z")
deer rifle, roof top, radiator. enough said. ---
**Author:** ![pikey\_pete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pikey\_pete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pikey_pete)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/168 "2012-05-25T19:33:28Z")
oh yeah, enjoy uninterrupted sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/169 "2012-05-27T11:08:41Z")
This thread needs to go to thread spotting. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/170 "2012-06-20T20:02:10Z")
Bumpity bump! I just wanted to point out that with this week’s rash of Diamonds02 threads, since 2-22-2012 she’s posted in a grand total of three threads that she herself did not start. Three, including this pitting. Those other two? These delightful gems: > [@Why are Mexicans chopping each other up?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-are-mexicans-chopping-each-other-up/621935/23): > > I want to one day. Mexican chicks are hot. I want to nail one before I die. > [@Ladies: skirt pulled up or down when using the toilet?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-skirt-pulled-up-or-down-when-using-the-toilet/613647/6): > > This thread is making my nipples hard. Her other posts have been in 19 other threads, all started by her. I gotta say though - it’s hard to look away. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/171 "2012-06-20T20:18:56Z")
Her posts are one Turing Test fail after another. An entity, human on the surface, with a complete inability to maintain a simple conversation with real humans. No idea about appropriate behavior, few social skills, no experience outside a very sheltered environment. i don’t know whether to see her as Pinocchio or Pygmalion. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/172 "2012-06-20T22:23:51Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Bumpity bump! > > I just wanted to point out that with this week’s rash of Diamonds02 threads, since 2-22-2012 she’s posted in a grand total of three threads that she herself did not start. Three, including this pitting. Those other two? These delightful gems: > > Her other posts have been in 19 other threads, all started by her. I gotta say though - it’s hard to look away. To be fair, the first one is a joke. The second one, though, WTF? What if a guy had popped in and said his dick was getting hard? Does she think that being a lesbian means she can somehow say things guys can’t? Heck, maybe she’s right, as I think a guy would get reported for that. Probably not warning, but at least a mod note. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/173 "2012-06-20T22:24:56Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > Her posts are one Turing Test fail after another. > > An entity, human on the surface, with a complete inability to maintain a simple conversation with real humans. > > No idea about appropriate behavior, few social skills, no experience outside a very sheltered environment. > > i don’t know whether to see her as Pinocchio or Pygmalion. What’s the difference? I thought it would be that one of them got better and the other one didn’t, but Pinocchio gets better, too. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/174 "2012-06-21T00:01:57Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > To be fair, the first one is a joke. You know, I don’t even think it is - I could definitely see her starting a thread next week asking why everyone at a Mexican-themed picnic she was at all stopped eating and stared at her after making that same comment. She’s like ralphc124 - she says/posts whatever it is that pops into her head at any given moment. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/175 "2012-06-21T10:10:22Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > What if a guy had popped in and said his dick was getting hard? To be fair, on another (PG13) forum I used to visit, one guy did claim certain posts were getting his nipples hard without rebuke. ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/176 "2012-06-21T18:03:04Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > Good farmers make over 50k a year. > > Differents folks, different strokes, you overprivileged douche. > > Anything over 30k per year is a LOT of money to me. As an actual working farmer, this made me howl with laughter. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/177 "2012-06-22T14:17:39Z")
> [@jlzania](#): > > As an actual working farmer, this made me howl with laughter. > That is all. Oh, come on, we all know you posted that on your diamond-encrusted laptop while reclining on an ermine couch after lighting up a cigar (rolled on the thigh of Queen Elizabeth II in her wild days) with a burning roll of $100 bills 😉 ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/178 "2012-06-22T14:23:47Z")
I like any thread where **ugly ripe tomato** posts in order to reply about gardening and farming. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/179 "2012-06-22T14:25:55Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > i don’t know whether to see her as Pinocchio or Pygmalion. Methinks you mean Galatea. Pygmalion is the original Gepetto, Galatea his Pinocchio. ---
**Author:** ![Diamonds02](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Diamonds02](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diamonds02)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065/180 "2012-07-24T18:41:53Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Bumpity bump! > > I just wanted to point out that with this week’s rash of Diamonds02 threads, since 2-22-2012 she’s posted in a grand total of three threads that she herself did not start. Three, including this pitting. Those other two? These delightful gems: > > Her other posts have been in 19 other threads, all started by her. I gotta say though - it’s hard to look away. My life experiences and worldview seems to be so different from the general SD population, I’m not sure how much I would be able to contribute. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-diamonds02-and-his-honk-happy-friend/606065.md?page=10)