If anything, coming via Google should make one LESS likely to revive a zombie; all search results from a message board come with a “Last post:” date. Try it. Of course, they’re not paying attention. Therein lies the general problem.
Goddamn it! I thought you were ranting about these idiots bumping five-year-old (or more) threads, not defending them! It really takes all of my willpower NOT to be nasty about it. Sure, in the grand scheme of life it’s insanely minor, but that doesn’t mean it’s not annoying as shit.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to say, whyyyyyyy the fucking fuck is there a thread in CS where people are putting shit from 20+ year-old movies in a damn spoiler box??? For the love of everything holy, NO ONE is going to be “spoiled” by reading your comment about Back to the Future. And that’s every post in a two page thread.
Honestly, people, do we have to have a presentation about when it’s appropriate to revive an ancient thread, and go over the sort of things that really do belong in a spoiler box? Good grief.
I generally agree that the zombie jokes and mockery of newbies who bump an ancient thread need to stop. However, I want to point out that I do seem to notice a large number of oppositional-defiant-disorder newbies who suddenly come charging in, ignoring issues which have been completely hashed out and resolved in the thread, to trumpet their “unique” insight. This normally happens in the “Comments” forum, but also in GQ.
In honor of this thread, anyone who agrees with the OP should bump up an old thread! 
Then you’re one of the good ones. I swear most people here think it is a race to come up with the most asinine post first. This theory that people need some sort of “notice” that threads are old is asinine as well.
I’ve had a similar experience, but it’s more like “wow, that was a dickhead thing to… oh.”
I admit to posting snarky comments a couple of times, but I’ve also posted “welcome to SD, and by the way this thread is six years old and most of the original posters are gone” type comments.
I see it as a courtesy, really - it will teach someone to check dates when they find a random thread online, sign up and post to it. I’m sure it’s something many of us have done back when we were less experienced with this internet thingie; nothing wrong with a heads up.
As to snark - well, tough titty. If someone makes a mistake, then is scared away by a subsequent silly “braaaiiiins” post, then they weren’t long for this board anyhow.
Let me explain it so even you, douchebag, can understand it, okay? When you create an atmosphere in which posters–newbies and oldbies alike–are under attack, and snarkiness is encouraged for insiders (mainly Mods and Mod-asskissers) but harshly discouraged for outsiders (newbies, who get mocked for posting here without understanding the rules, and experienced posters, who get banned when their posts offend the PTB) then you’ve created a place where old posters won’t (or can’t) contribute and new posters bail before they get started.
I get it that you enjoy that sort of place, but I’m trying to explain why this website is as lame as it is–you actively discourage decent posters from contributing, in a variety of ways,
That would be fine if all people did was make a “brains” joke or throw around a little harmless snark. However, lately, I’ve seen people act like total douchebags about it. Why does it upset you so much? Why do you think the entire Internet must believe that zombies are such horrible things?
The only reason I can come up with is that you are upset because you also didn’t notice the date, and were about to reply. And then suddenly something made you realize it was old. If you couldn’t read the date before reading, why do you expect the noobs to be more vigilant? And if that isn’t why you get so upset, then why?
And don’t think the Dope is special about this, either. I’ve been to several other forums, with different opinions on the subject, and all of them seem to get really, really upset if you don’t do it their way. What’s the point? Just kindly inform them of your preference, and then, if they still don’t listen, then call out the hounds.
Just because someone doesn’t agree with you on zombie policy does not mean they are a poor fit for this board.
Technically, people may not need a notice to inform them of something that’s right there in the datestamp of the post that they’re reading. In practice, though, even experienced Dopers often do read through and even reply to old threads before noticing that they’re zombies, so the zombie jokes can be helpful (I’ve certainly found them so, more than once).
Consequently, I don’t take the zombie jokes amiss. And I’d like to see some actual evidence that zombie jokes actually are chasing away interesting potential new members from these boards before I start worrying about whether they should be deprecated. ISTM, as other posters have noted, that most newbie zombie-revivers are drive-by posters anyway.
Trust me, it’s not the occasional asshole screaming about a zombie thread that drives intelligent people away from this board.
Before the howls and flames of the butthurt fill the thread, let me just add that whatever you are thinking right now, it says a whole lot about you, and very little about myself.
Of course the steady stream of invective and ill conceived flames, the inside jokes and the “I am so much better than you” mentality that many display, with no self awareness at all, that certainly couldn’t have anything to do with anything.
Please continue.
No one even brought up banning people for reviving zombie threads before you posted your childish rant. I think pushing arguments to extremes that aren’t even possible does more to discourage people from posting then does calling out stupid when you see it.
edited to add-Just to head you off at the pass, so to speak-No one is talking about banning people for calling out people that revive old threads, either. Except for your insane little post, the topic just isn’t being discussed.
Well, you are a fucking idiot then.
However, if the people complaining about newbies not reading the dates before they post cannot do so themselves, it looks pretty silly when they complain about it. Either they don’t need the notice, or they are hypocrites and there is a double standard here.
Jesus, it’s an old thread, not a personal attack against our grandmother. If the person has a good point, then read it and answer, if not then ignore like most of us do with the majority of posts in new threads. Much ado about nothing.
I can see leaving a zombie thread open if someone is attempting to further the discussion, but if there is direct questioning of posters that have left that thread years ago(some even having left the message board itself), then that definitely needs to be pointed out, I would think.
This. A thousand times this.
Just the other day, someone bumped a thread about gay folks who surprised you when they came out. Nevermind the fact that the thread in question was like five years old and that we’ve also got a current thread on the same topic. That’s cool, whatever. But the poster who bumped it decided to let us know that (paraphrasing): “A guy in KISS is big homo because I say he is!” Just what? And it’s not like there wasn’t a dozen posts before that pointing out the guy’s long-term marriage and multiple kids. Wait, there was? Damn.
See, that’s an idiot and he deserves any shit he gets.
Of course, if the Powers That Be really wanted to ever stop zombies, they could just set threads to autolock a year after the last post. But they don’t, because forums are scary.
How about a middle of the road? One where you point out that the thread is a few years old without making the new person feel like an idiot. Because being snarky not only gets rid of the idiots, it also gets rid of those that might turn out to be good members, but aren’t going to invest any time in a place where they are abused - i.e. they have some self respect.
I’ve fallen for a few resurrected threads, and what clues me in isn’t posting dates - I’ve never developed the habit of looking, but poster names. Especially when you go into a thread with three or four banned posters, but sometimes its “I didn’t realize Jodi was back - oh, she isn’t, its an old thread.”
Are there any links to some of the nastier zombie-related snark? I’d like to see what people are up in arms about.