# I pit everyone who didn't tell me what a fatass I was **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 12, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030 "2009-12-12T22:03:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/81 "2009-12-14T00:01:44Z")
> [@Glory](#): > > I managed to get up to 200 lbs without anyone special in my life (friends, family) mentioning it. My doctor did mention it, and I was red-faced with shame. When I returned the next year, 60 lbs less, I pranced up to the scale and the doctor didn’t say a word about my weight loss! Very anticlimactic. > > I do understand your experience. I thought I looked “okay” until faced with pictures. I think that when I looked in the mirror, I would stand straight, suck in, make sure my chin was lifted to avoid as much double chin action as possible. Pictures - well, they capture what’s in front of them. I avoided cameras/pictures for nearly 10 years, which is really sad, I have a 10 year photo gap. > > Here is a very rare [photo](http://gloriana.myphotoalbum.com/view_photo.php?set_albumName=album02&id=nearly200lbs) of me, taken at Marineland. When I look at this picture, what I remember is I used to think those pants looked great. I honestly used to think that they were slimming and flattering. Pictures don’t lie!!! > > [October - 2009, 4.5 years at goal weight](http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30571126&l=91baec2343&id=1401845193) Wow! You are gorgeous! That was some HARD work! ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/82 "2009-12-14T00:05:16Z")
Also, Olives! WOW! Both of you ladies were pretty before; now, you’re knockouts! And HEALTHY! ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/83 "2009-12-14T00:06:21Z")
Often people struggle with weight loss for years and years and their friends don’t want to say “you looked disgusting with those fat cheeks” when they know the odds are overwhelmingly in favor of them growing their fat cheeks back. So they say, “oh, the weight loss is nice, but you looked great before too!” I also don’t tell my friends having relationship problems “I always hated him/her anyway, you’re better off,” because invariably they end up back with the person and now I"m on record for hating their SO. No thanks. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/84 "2009-12-14T00:07:47Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > People are afraid you’ll keep losing weight until you shrink like a raisin and then disappear entirely. They want you to stay within our plane of existence. I was thinking of it more like a warp bubble. Like in that episode of TNG when Crusher got stuck in one of Wesley’s experimental warp bubbles and it shrank and shrank until she was the only one in her universe. Then they pulled her out right before it popped out of existence. Yup, that’s what I am going to call myself from now on. A warp bubble. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/85 "2009-12-14T00:08:51Z")
> [@torie](#): > > I was thinking of it more like a warp bubble. Like in that episode of TNG when Crusher got stuck in one of Wesley’s experimental warp bubbles and it shrank and shrank until she was the only one in her universe. Then they pulled her out right before it popped out of existence. > > Yup, that’s what I am going to call myself from now on. A warp bubble. I love that episode. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/86 "2009-12-14T03:37:06Z")
[quote=“1920s Style “Death Ray”, post:79, topic:521030”] As a society yes, but as individuals we can’t change what we find attractive. I wouldn’t tell someone who was obviously proud of their weight loss that I preferred them with love handles though. Personality transcends physical appearance to some extent anyway, if I’m attracted to someone I know it doesn’t change if their weight changes, I just know from my attraction to strangers that I’m not a fan of hip bones, ribs, and small breasts. [/QUOTE] But in this case, where weirdaaron is proud of his weight loss, its frankly rude to say “you looked better fat.” I’m not a fan of tattoos. But rather than posting in a thread where someone is showing off their new tat with “you looked better without it” - I don’t say anything - or I compliment them on their choice of art or the execution (both which I can sincerely admire without being a fan of tattoos). ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/87 "2009-12-14T03:48:09Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > But in this case, where weirdaaron is proud of his weight loss, its frankly rude to say “you looked better fat.” I’m not a fan of tattoos. But rather than posting in a thread where someone is showing off their new tat with “you looked better without it” - I don’t say anything - or I compliment them on their choice of art or the execution (both which I can sincerely admire without being a fan of tattoos). We may be misunderstanding each other, I think he looks fine skinny and haven’t said otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![wierdaaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/88 "2009-12-14T04:13:51Z")
Yeah yeah, the line to do me starts in the rear… …if you know what I mean. (Cuz I don’t) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/89 "2009-12-14T05:03:48Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > \ > Then I’ll move on to cutting. That made me laugh much more than it probably should. **Olives** , and **Glory** , you guys are looking gooood. You are too, **wierdo**. Make sure you post more pictures when you look like a 12-year old boy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/90 "2009-12-14T05:09:32Z")
Hey, wait a second, that makes me sound like a pervo. Um, post more pictures when you’re so skinny you disappear when you turn sideways, is what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/91 "2009-12-14T05:45:45Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > Vanity sizing has also fucked with us all. I like that I wear a size 2, but I’m NOT what a size 2 used to be. So true! When I complain to my Internet friends how fat I’m getting and that my size 4s no longer fit well and now I’m a solid size 6, they’re not even a little bit sympathetic. And I can understand why not, because it doesn’t sound bad at all…but really, for me, it is. I look best at a vanity size 2 or 4. And I also like that they call it that, even though I know the sizes keep getting bigger and bigger! On the other hand, I don’t think vanity sizing has actually fucked with us ALL, because men’s sizing seems to have the opposite thing going on. Many (most?) brands for men don’t even make size small, and I don’t know if I know any men who wear below a size XL…and I know some skinny dudes. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/92 "2009-12-14T05:46:17Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Further evidence that the SDMB has some ideas about weight that are way off-tilt. When I look at the first picture, I see a fat dude. Not a “Holy Shit!” fat dude, but someone who should probably lose some weight. When I see the second photo, I see a kiddo whose weight looks perfectly normal and healthy to me. Not particularly skinny, I’d say. People always say the SDMB skews to the left politically. That may be true in a relative sense (i.e. the board is a bit to the left by American standards, but a good bit too the right as far as human beings in general are concerned). Similarly, I think, that from posts I’ve read and picture threads I’ve viewed, SDMB members skew to the obese side of normal. Again–by USA standards, the board members are merely a bit chunky; by world standards we are fucking blimps. I don’t think the OP looked ridiculously fat in the first picture, but he was clearly overweight. In his second picture he looked healthy. As darn smart as most of us are here, we do let ourselves be taken in sometimes by false comparisons. I know that I’m overweight but a picture of me would show a person considered to be about average weight by American standards. But that’s all fun-house funny-mirror illusions… let’s not kid ourselves about our right-wing politics or our above-average weights, 'k? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/93 "2009-12-14T05:52:27Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > I’ve still got some moob left, and a pretty visible gut. I could probably lose 30 pounds before it became unreasonable to continue. Don’t know where I’m going to stop. At first I said I’d lose 20, then I said I’d lose 40, then 50 was the magic number, then I thought I’d be done at 60… > > I think I’ll stop when I don’t have to hold in my belly anymore. Careful with that, don’t mistake “tone” or “firmness” for “thinness.” My father was always thin as a rail but he eventually did get a bit of a tummy; in general Middlebro looks thinner than Lilbro but he gets a visible tummy faster (they’re the same height and weight but distributed differently, in Lilbro it’s all over). A flat belly doesn’t just require losing weight, it requires exercise. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/94 "2009-12-14T16:50:52Z")
> [@torie](#): > > He looks normal to me in the first and a tad skinny in the second. Some people are just that skinny, and some people want to be that skinny, but I don’t believe that everyone _should_ be that skinny, as a prerequisite for health. Body types are so different. “Normal” does NOT equal “Healthy Weight”, especially in the US. Healthy weight is not a double chin and fat that covers his 3/4 view cheekbone\*. Look, most people in the US are overweight. This means that we see 20-30 lbs overweight as normal. All the other mental weight levels are scaled up accordingly (I’ve seen people say that a 300+ lb guy was “really overweight, but not, like, _obese_ or anything!”). The fact is that most Americans (myself included) should lose weight. People get defensive about this, but it’s the truth. When I tell people my goal weight is 140 (I’m 5’4"), the _vast majority_ of people say, “Oh honey, that is _too thin_. That’s unhealthy!” For God’s sake, _no it’s not_. Good on you, **weirdaaron**. - And I say this as someone with a double chin and ample ass. I still have good cheekbones, though. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![wierdaaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/95 "2009-12-14T17:00:10Z")
The only way being thin could be unhealthy is if being that thin is a side effect of malnutrition… Or if you suddenly needed to run from a saber-toothed tiger and you need the fat deposits for energy. In a completely unrelated topic too mundane for its own thread, later today I have a job interview (my first in a while after 6 months of unemployment) for a job I really don’t want that much here in Detroit. On Thursday I have a job interview in Chicago (squee!!!) for a job I really want. My experiences with job interviews has always been bad, because I get psyched up for them and think I have them nailed, and then never get them. I’ve read that overweight people are statistically passed over more for better-looking applicants for jobs. I think if these people offer me a job today, I’m going to point at them and yell “SIZISTS!!”, because the only variable that’s changed between me failing 100% of my interviews and today is my pant size, for for some stupid reason I have a feeling I’m actually going to get this job I don’t want. Sux. If any of you Chicago Dopers have mind-control powers, let me know and I’ll tell you what company in town I want you to make hire me. Now I have to go re-learn how to tie a necktie from youtube videos. ---
**Author:** ![StoutHearted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@StoutHearted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StoutHearted)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/96 "2009-12-14T17:21:11Z")
You should have been born a woman. Then, there would have been no end to well-wishers asking you when the baby is due. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Evil\_Prince\_Zorte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@The\_Evil\_Prince\_Zorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Evil_Prince_Zorte)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/97 "2009-12-14T17:33:13Z")
Are the people telling you not to lose any more weight fatter or thinner than you are? Wired recently had an interesting article about a social network study that was done recently. That’s not online social networks like facebook, but relationships between family, friends, etc. They found that obesity is contagious. Someone with overweight friends stands a much higher chance of becoming overweight themselves. Your weight loss might be challenging the denial of your friends and family who have been trying just as hard not to admit they are fat. You may be lowering the bar of what would be considered normal weight for your social circle. ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/98 "2009-12-14T17:37:35Z")
> [@The\_Evil\_Prince\_Zorte](#): > > Wired recently had an interesting article about a social network study that was done recently. That’s not online social networks like facebook, but relationships between family, friends, etc. They found that obesity is contagious. Someone with overweight friends stands a much higher chance of becoming overweight themselves. You’re saying that I can catch teh fat? ---
**Author:** ![wierdaaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/99 "2009-12-14T17:45:53Z")
I think the most concern is from my brother’s wife, who is pretty svelte herself, but she just had a baby and still has some of that going on, so she’s a bit bigger than she was at her wedding, which she prepared for by dieting for a solid year. Plus they live in DC and only came to visit for Thanksgiving, so they went from seeing fat me to suddenly seeing now-me, so it was probably pretty shocking. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030/100 "2009-12-14T17:55:41Z")
Good luck on your interviews, **wierdaaron**. I hope you get the job you really want. Being fat has really hurt me in previous positions, I can assure you. And I know it. Even in my current job, which I adore, it’s hurt me. I have an extremely solitary job. Even though they trust me to do my job well and on my own, I know unless I lose weight that I will not be asked to go anywhere and represent the company and I will be passed over for other positions that would put me with other people. I also volunteer for the hurricane emergency team every year, but I’m always put on second team, which pretty much guarantees I won’t go anywhere. That’s one of the many reasons I am losing weight right now. I don’t want to be the girl that knows so much, but can’t be sent anywhere. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-everyone-who-didnt-tell-me-what-a-fatass-i-was/521030.md?page=6)