# I pit february for being stupidly shot. Yeah, that's right, you short-arse month. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 28, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731 "2009-02-28T00:04:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/21 "2009-02-28T14:04:21Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > We need to add in the month of Octember. I have it on good authority that the First of Octember will be the most awesomest day _ever_. Octember, Septober, Nowonder. ---
**Author:** ![Proudest\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/proudest_monkey/32/13257_2.png) [@Proudest\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Proudest_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/22 "2009-03-01T00:59:21Z")
I love February! Except when it has 29 days – that’s just wrong. It is so lovely with its weeks of 7 days evenly divided into 28. There is no remainder! It’s so short, you can almost think of it as a mini-month. Yeah, it’s cold and snows like a bitch, but it will soon be over! February has Groundhog Day and Presidents’ Day and school vacation and pitchers/catchers reporting to spring training. Anyone with a brain can find a way to avoid Valentine’s Day, which is the only reason I can find to hate February. Well, except for having to pronounce it correctly. Now March-Hate is a cause I can get behind. Spring is supposed to arrive mid-month, but I’ve only found that to be a sham. February is unabashed about being a winter month, but March had better damn well apologize if I am shoveling after the 20th. And March lasts foreeeeevvvvveeeerrrrr. Those 31 days are twice as long as July’s 31 days. St. Patrick’s Day cannot be considered a holiday, which makes March good for absolutely fucking nothing. Except as the portal to April. ---
**Author:** ![SomeUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@SomeUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SomeUserName)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/23 "2009-03-01T11:58:02Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Good thinking. This never occurred to me before, but I find it brilliant. Why the hell not? Can we trim some off November as well? November is effing depressing. I vote for this. My birthday is in November and I love Thanksgiving BUT it is a depressing month. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/24 "2009-03-01T18:48:46Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > Yes, lets start a campaign for Smarch!!! You think February weather is bad, just wait until you have to deal with lousy Smarch weather! ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/25 "2009-03-02T00:20:40Z")
When I think of **Smarch** , I think of [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10884015&postcount=87). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/26 "2009-03-02T02:48:48Z")
I fucking hate February. I think it’s evil incarnate. It’s Carl Rove’s and Stalin’s love child. What I really hate is the way my brain runs down in winter. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/27 "2009-03-02T02:50:06Z")
Feb **RUE** airy Memory aid: Don’t forget there is a RUE in February. I’ve only known two people ever who pronounced it that way. One was my very proper, very perfect fourth-grade teacher (who put the “rue” in February). She was wasted in elementary school. We could really have used her in high school, where we had English teachers who congregated verbs. The other was a snotty old guy from Newburyport, which is a place close to Boston. He was very snide about it. Nobody knew how to pronounce it. And nobody knew how to pronounce “aunt.” Except him. We Westerners were a bunch of savages. But he mispronopunced Newburyport so badly that for years I thought he was from “New Report.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/28 "2009-03-02T03:55:35Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Feb **RUE** airy > > Memory aid: Don’t forget there is a RUE in February. > > I’ve only known two people ever who pronounced it that way. One was my very proper, very perfect fourth-grade teacher (who put the “rue” in February). She was wasted in elementary school. We could really have used her in high school, where we had English teachers who congregated verbs. > > The other was a snotty old guy from Newburyport, which is a place close to Boston. He was very snide about it. Nobody knew how to pronounce it. And nobody knew how to pronounce “aunt.” Except him. We Westerners were a bunch of savages. But he mispronopunced Newburyport so badly that for years I thought he was from “New Report.” Three. (Though you don’t know me. Probably.) I also say the ‘r’ in library. I had someone stare at me in blank shock when I did that. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/29 "2009-03-02T06:07:12Z")
Status quo: Jan 31 Feb 28-29 Mar 31 Q1: 90-91 days Apr 30 May 31 Jun 30 Q2: 91 days Jul 31 Aug 31 Sep 30 Q3: 92 days Oct 31 Nov 30 Dec 31 Q4: 92 days The following would be easier to remember and maintain quarters and months that are more equal in length: Jan 31 Feb 30-31 Mar 30 Q1: 91-92 days Apr 31 May 30 Jun 30 Q2: 91 days Jul 31 Aug 30 Sep 30 Q3: 91 days Oct 31 Nov 30 Dec 31 Q4: 92 days The first month of the quarter would have 31 days, plus December. (I figured with all the holidays, December could use the extra working day). February would remain special. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/30 "2009-03-02T10:09:58Z")
You heretics! I love good old Feb. It’s small and cuddly, and since I live in the tropics I have no reason whatsoever to hate it. Now, September must die! ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/31 "2009-03-02T15:03:38Z")
When I used to get paid bi-monthly I loved February because it brought them paychecks in quicker than any other month. Then I went to 26 paychecks per year every other week and February let them March bills show up too damn fast. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/32 "2009-03-02T20:20:20Z")
> [@shantih](#): > > Winter has been going on for about 6 months at this point, Six months, huh? So you’re from New England, the great lakes, the plains states, or Canada? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/33 "2009-03-03T18:00:19Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > Yes, lets start a campaign for Smarch!!! Then can we call the NCAA basketball championships Smarch Smadness? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/34 "2009-03-03T18:13:21Z")
Februaries suck. Tuesdays suck (my logic being that you know Monday’s a nightmare, Wednesday’s the Peak of the Week, Thursday’s nearly the weekend, and TFI Friday… but Tuesday is just… meh.) Therefore the worst days of the year are Tuesdays in February. The first Tuesday in February in particular. In the morning, before first coffee break. Just fuck it. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/35 "2009-03-04T00:08:18Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Six months, huh? So you’re from New England, the great lakes, the plains states, or Canada? Germany. Actually, I’m _from_ Virginia, and I seem to recall finding winter equally as long back then, but over here, there’s the joy of extra darkness as the days gets shorter and shorter, to the point that in December, the sun rises after the kids are already in school, which is wrong on just so many levels. But at least there are the holidays to look forward to, and January has a sense of peace which is rather nice, and then you get to stupid February, and it’s still cold and still dark and still grey and still stupid winter, and the days won’t be soft and fragrant and warm and bright for just months, and it’s all too much. And now we’re in March, and I’d like to invite everyone to join me in mocking yet another February, dead and gone. Ha! In your face, February 2009! Pfffffftt!! ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/36 "2009-03-04T01:08:19Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Low and behold tomorrow is the end of the month, which means another month of rent of due. Its killing me! Having to write two big checks in one pay period means I’m flat broke :mad: Pun intended? Or isn’t it a flat you’re renting? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/37 "2009-03-04T19:46:06Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > So, who shot February stupidly now? Well, I shot my February pretty stupidly. Dunno 'bout the rest of you. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/38 "2009-03-04T23:21:08Z")
Any suspects yet? Maggie again? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/39 "2009-03-05T00:01:11Z")
> [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](#): > > Three. (Though you don’t know me. Probably.) > > I also say the ‘r’ in library. I had someone stare at me in blank shock when I did that. Me too, but I also pronounce Wednesday wrong (I can’t bring myself to change it from the spelling), I got tired of getting corrected so now I just say Day of Odin if I’m forced to use it, so I guess it evens out. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731/40 "2009-03-05T11:50:39Z")
Thought we’d all agreed not to pass February loaded guns any more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-february-for-being-stupidly-shot-yeah-thats-right-you-short-arse-month/487731.md?page=3)