# I Pit Fenris **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 12, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703 "2003-03-12T01:07:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/1 "2003-03-12T01:07:24Z")
[Link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=167313) Fenris … You know that we agree on a lot of things. Things of importance. Things of merit. We respect each other’s opinions. But goddamn it son, have you fucking lost your mind!! Bedknobs and Broomsticks is better than Mary Poppins?? Give me a fucking break!! My God, what the fuck were you thinking? The music! Mary Poppins has “Chim Chim Cheree”, “A Spoonful of Sugar”. Mary Poppins has “Feed the Fucking Birds” for Christ sake! What do we have in B&B? That goddamn flying bed music every then minutes. MP has cute, cuddly, playful underdogs victorious over the opressive, conservative financial system. What does B&B have? Fucking funny nazis! And my fucking God! What acidhead at Disney thought David Tomlinson and Angela Lansbury would make an attractive romantic couple? I mean Angela, you know I love ya, but you need to shag your ass back to Cabot Cove dear. And David Tomlinson, my God. Again? So soon after Mary fucking Poppins? I mean, in MP there must have been some sort of sugar-daddy thing going on between him and Glynis Johns. But you just knew she must have been getting something on the side beacuse Tomlinson doesn’t look like he could even get it up for the fucking bird lady! And Poppins herself! Pure fucking sexuality. C’mon … admit it. You’d do her but Bert would kill you if you tried anything. And MP even has something for the gay community! My God, look at the fucking chimney sweep dance! It’s like a fucking gay pride party. It’s like gays on parade! God fucking damn! Bedknobs and Broomsticks better than Mary Poppins. God fucking damn. You owe me an apology. Love, Euty \< kiss \> ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/2 "2003-03-12T01:18:28Z")
Here, now **Euty** , you poor soul. Just lie down and take a few deep breaths. I’ll fluff your pillows and make you some chocolate milk. Okay, better? Listen to me, my darling boy: **Fenris** is right. Now, go to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/3 "2003-03-12T01:41:27Z")
Despite the fact that Disney pretty much destroyed the original Mary Poppins (and put Ms. Travers off movie makers to the point that we will probably never get the opportunity to see a really good cinematic version of _Mary Poppins_), there is no question that the movie that Disney put out under the name _Mary Poppins_ with one or two incidents borrowed quite loosely from the books, was INFINITELY superior to the movie _Bedknobs and Broomsticks_. There is simply no way in which B&B can compare cinematically with MP. ---
**Author:** ![MusicJunkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@MusicJunkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MusicJunkie)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/4 "2003-03-12T01:41:31Z")
Yeah, what Exgineer said. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/5 "2003-03-12T01:43:10Z")
You know, I’ve always wondered if a Mod had pitted anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/6 "2003-03-12T01:51:45Z")
Well it must depend on if you prefer a war film to a film about high finance. B&B is of course the greatest and most realistic war film ever created. MP on the other side is full of high finance wheeler dealing in the stressful life of an English Banker. Both films are true masterpieces of suspense and drama, but having such differing agendas in there scope we really can’t compare them in any simple measure of which one is greater than the other. Of course both pale into insignificance compared to “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” which encompasses big business with the problems of foreign slave labor in a gritty tale of the loneliness of the entrepreneur business owner. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/7 "2003-03-12T01:54:58Z")
Chitty bang bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty bang bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty bang bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! Oh! You! Pretty chitty bang bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, We love you! And our Pretty chitty bang bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Loves us too! High! Low! Every where we go, On chitty chitty we depend. …d&r… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/8 "2003-03-12T02:58:16Z")
But B&B had that really cool final battle scene with pipers and knights and everything! (My son loves that part.) ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/9 "2003-03-12T03:02:14Z")
Two words: Julie Andrews. As much as I love Angela Lansbury, the score of **Bedknobs and Broomsticks** is wayyy inferior to that of **Mary Poppins**. C’mon, no song in **B&B** can compare to “Feed The Birds”–not to mention **MP** was parodied by The Simpsons. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/10 "2003-03-12T03:05:15Z")
> [@](#): > > And my fucking God! What acidhead at Disney thought David Tomlinson and Angela Lansbury would make an attractive romantic couple? I mean Angela, you know I love ya, but you need to shag your ass back to Cabot Cove dear. Nah, I’d much prefer her to go back to baking The Worst Pies in London. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/11 "2003-03-12T03:10:02Z")
Oh, god, I _love_ that song. “Feed the Birds” is the best song from a Disney film, or from any musical film that I can think of off the top of my head. ---
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/12 "2003-03-12T03:16:47Z")
Absolutely agree with Euty the nazi here (and is it so obvious that he despises B&B due to his nazi friends getting their arses kicked). Feed the Birds is awesome. ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/13 "2003-03-12T03:19:42Z")
Y’know, Kat, I thought you were referring to Gobear’s post. And that led to thoughts of a full-frontal, classic-Disney-cel-n-sing version of Sweeney Todd. Wouldn’t that be _fabulous_? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/14 "2003-03-12T03:32:12Z")
w00t! My first pitting!!! 🙂 …And by a Mod, no less!!! \< sniff \> I…am the luckiest…man alive. That said: Fuck your bad ass **Euty** , you smegma-encrusted hyenea of ignorance. You want an apology? Fuck your apology. If you’d get your “company line” head out of your “company-line” ass, you’d realize that Feed the Fucking Birds is a fucking _dull_ song. The music is sleep-inducing. Not because it was a lullaby, but because it’s _boring_ and the lyrics are _bad_. Yes, there’s this romantic cachet it has because Disney got all Howard Hughs/The Conquerer-weird over th’ song but c’mon: - Feed the birds Tuppence a bag Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag\* C’mon. They rhymed “bag” with “bag” :rolleyes: Cole Porter had nothing to fear from this fucking drivel from the otherwise talented Sherman Brothers. And let’s compare it to “The Age of Not Believing” (which is similar in the sense that both cowshit and truffles can be described as “earthy”): _You’re a castaway where no-one hears you On a barren isle, in a lonely sea. Where have all the happy endings gone? Where can all the good times be?_ Granted, “sea” and “be” aren’t Sondheim-esqe either, but at least the imagery _says_ something. Other than “Birdfood costs a tuppence”. And what’s so fucking scary about Tomlinson and Lansbury? Are you against the concept of middle-aged people finding love in a movie? Must _every_ movie feature just-barely post-teen hardbodied romance and sweaty redheads with smooth breasts and pert nipples? I found Tomlinson and Lansbury quite the beliveable couple. I’m shocked to find that you’re an ageist, you ageist. And I notice that you’ve completely ignored the fucking fact that **MARY POPPINS HAS NO FUCKING PLOT**. Stories need plots. Otherwise, they’re just a bunch of things that happen. The “plot” of Mary Poppins boils down to 1. Dad’s a little grumpy and the kids are spoiled little mutants (Call Professor X! Their superpower is to induce sleep or nausea with a mere glance will put them in the first ranks of the X-Men!) who substiute treacle for acting ability. 2. Dad hires a new nanny. She is indeed hot and while she has a great voice, she has no personality other than “icky-sweet” 3. The kids clean their room (and wasn’t _that_ exciting: 15 minute of screen time about two spoiled kids putting away all of their hundreds of toys. To quote the smartest man alive, “it combine(d) the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double-entry bookkeeping.”). And nothing fucking happens. 4. The kids have a tea-party with a hysteric. I mean, was the guy auditioning for the role of The Joker? And nothing fucking happens. 5. The kids have a picnic with penguins. And nothing fucking happens. 6. The kids meet a creepy old bag lady with a bird fetish. And nothing fucking happens. 7. The kids meet a badly made-up Dick Van Dyke playing a creepy old coot in the bank and promptly cause a bank panic. This is the first time we’ve gotten a _hint_ of conflict or excitiement. So of course, it’s forgotten. 8. Some chimney sweeps dance on some rooftops. The kids join in: apparently Mary Fucking Poppins thinks that forcing kids to dance on slippery rooftops is a _good_ thing, but in point of fact, no-one dies. 9. The bank panic forgotten, Dad, now drunk instead of grumpy, stands up to the creepy bank guy. He tells a joke. Everyone laughs. The creepy bank guy dies. Drunken dad has committed murder. 10. Everyone flies kites…except the dead guy and the gay chimney sweeps. Dad’s murder is ignored and the creepy dead guy’s son gives Dad his job back as a reward for having murdered his father. (Order may be slightly off: since no plot point ever leads to _any other_ (other than the last one or two), it doesn’t really matter.) No growth, no changes except that dad is marginally less grumpy than he was before and he’s now a murderer. :rolleyes: Compare that to Bedknobs and Broomsticks wherein Charles learns to unlock his inner child, Carrie divests herself of the “middle child” syndrome and learns to let others care for _her_ rather than being the eternal nurturer, Emelius becomes a true warrior learning honor, courage and responsiblity, and Miss Price unlocks her long-repressed sexual nature. Plus they all kick the fucking shit out of some Nazi ass. :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: AH-HA! NOW it becomes clear: you, **Euty** , being a Mod, are de facto, a Nazi. You _object_ to seeing other Nazis get their goddamned asses kicked! ADMIT IT!!! THAT’S THE CRUX OF YOUR OBJECTION, ISN’T IT? **ISN’T IT?** And let’s accept the “Gay chimney sweep” interpretation (they do seem to be enjoying fondling those cleaning rods…). I’ll grant you that’s inclusive. But then look at the _diversity_ in Bedknobs and Broomsticks: there are a range of people from black to brown to white. Christians and Hindus dance together. There are rich people, poor people and even _prostitues_ in Bedknobs and Broomsticks (name another Disney full length movie featuring dancing hookers!) What do you have in Mary Poppins? Icky boring white-bread with mayo people. All drearily middle class. And the fucking moral of Mary Poppins? That their lack of diversity’s _good_! But! Where are all the poor downtrodden gay chimney sweeps during the “Go Fly A Kite” number? They’re probably being arrested and sent off to fight in the Boer Wars or whatever the fuck war was going on at the time that this story took place or being ground up to be used as dog-food for the King’s pet corgis or something. They’re certainly not evident in the final “We’re so happy we could puke” number. And let’s examine the final numbers: in Bedknobs and Broomsticks, there’s a bittersweetness to the fact that Emelius has discovered his warrior-nature and sense of social responsiblity as he sets aside his love for Eglantine and the kids and marches off to save the world from Hitler. In Mary Poppins, the spoiled little pukes are going to be _more_ spoiled as they go fly kites. Finally, let’s look at the role of womyn: in Mary Poppins, the mom is treated as a joke (and it’s firmly implied that the kids are spoiled mutants because she wasn’t home to tame them), Mary Poppins, the ultimate mommy who does nothing but indulge the mutants and the creepy bag lady with the bird fetish and Jane: spoiled punk-ass wimp. Would you want _your_ daughters to grow up to be just like them? I think not. Compare that to B&B: Carrie is a strong, take-charge character who’s quick thinking and fast reflexes save the day on a number of occasions, and who’s sense of responsiblity provides a calming ying to Charles’s raging yang. And Miss Price. A true Warrior Princess who puts her life and soul in danger for her beloved country…literally going to the ends of the earth to discover the one thing that can protect her land. Which is the better role for our young women? Nurturing Pagan Warrior Princesses or nannies? Comparing the warm-milk blandness of Mary Poppins to the intense-coffee multilayered complexity of Bedknobs and Broomsticks is like comparing milk to coffee. **Euty** : you’ve been brainwashed by the Disney machine. Go. Watch both movies back to back (but make sure you have several ampules of insulin for Mary Poppins, as you might slip into a sugar-and-treacle induced coma), and you’ll realize you’ve been a fucktard. But I forgive you, given our long friendly Love, Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/15 "2003-03-12T03:36:45Z")
Fuck…all that and I missed the last word. “But I forgive you, given our long friendly association.” ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/16 "2003-03-12T03:45:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*(snip all the pre-reply stuff) > That said: > (snip a bunch of other stuff I didn’t care about) > earthy"):And what’s so fucking scary about Tomlinson and Lansbury? Are you against the concept of middle-aged people finding love in a movie? Must _every_ movie feature just-barely post-teen hardbodied romance and sweaty redheads with smooth breasts and pert nipples? \*\* I’m sorry, I couldn’t finish reading your post I somehow got distracted around about there. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/17 "2003-03-12T03:55:28Z")
Did you ever see SOB? Mary Poppins had a really nice rack!😉 ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/18 "2003-03-12T04:00:13Z")
\*\*wring, \*\* my money’s on **Euty** getting lost right about there, too. 😃 And \*\*Fenris, \*\* for fuck’s sake, \*\*Euty \*\* is NOT a Nazi! Good Goddess, why do people keep saying that? The mods here fall into four cattegories–Nazis, Commies, Fascists, and Jackbooted Thugs. **Euty** is a Jackbooted Thug. Other than that…well, I haven’t seen either film on well over 20 years, so I’m not going to voice an opinion there. But I think **Fenris** is just a hair ahead in Rant Points. Sorry, Euty…please don’t be too mad at me… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/19 "2003-03-12T06:18:23Z")
Fenris, what’ll it be, Mouschwitz or Duckau? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703/20 "2003-03-12T06:19:07Z")
Wow, I thought **Euty** really had you on the ropes with his OP, but **Fenris** , that was a _brilliant_\* fucking rebuttal. I don’t know if Euty can get up off the canvas after that. I say Euty, just stay down, there’s only more pain waiting for you if you get up. I also thought B&B was better. The book was better too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-fenris/160703.md?page=2)