# I Pit Heterophobes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 8, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686 "2013-10-08T15:11:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/1 "2013-10-08T15:11:36Z")
Yeah, you know who you are. All you radical pro-gay activists who want to limit the rights of heterosexuals, who think that gays are automatically better than heterosexuals. You know who you are, don’t pretend! All you people who say things like “heterosexuals shouldn’t be allowed to marry” or “we should fence off all the heterosexuals” or “heterosexuality is a mental disorder”. All of you people should go fuck yourselves with rusty razor blades. All three of you. On the entire fucking planet. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/2 "2013-10-08T15:31:54Z")
Sure, heterophobes are a serious problem that we should address and they richly deserve this pitting. But you’re ignoring the far more pressing issue of the oppression, discrimination, bigotry and persecution now faced by Christians in the USA. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/3 "2013-10-08T15:34:53Z")
Government should not be marrying people. Let marriage be a private function of churches, synagogues, and casinos and the problem goes away. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/4 "2013-10-08T15:38:56Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Government should not be marrying people. Really? But me and the government of Costa Rica were going to tie the knot this weekend! It’s a modest affair, just my family and a few banana republics in attendance. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/5 "2013-10-08T15:48:10Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > Sure, heterophobes are a serious problem that we should address and they richly deserve this pitting. But you’re ignoring the far more pressing issue of the oppression, discrimination, bigotry and persecution now faced by Christians in the USA. Amen! I mean, all those people who are losing their inalienable rights to… Um… … Anyone? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/6 "2013-10-08T16:21:37Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > Amen! I mean, all those people who are losing their inalienable rights to… Um… > > … > > Anyone? Rule. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/7 "2013-10-08T17:05:53Z")
Don’t forget, it’s almiost time to once again kick off the Annual War On Christmas 😛 ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/8 "2013-10-08T17:17:26Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Don’t forget, it’s almiost time to once again kick off the Annual War On Christmas 😛 For “Stand Your Ground” to apply, can you shoot Santa once he’s trespassing in your house, or does he have to be threatening you with presents? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/9 "2013-10-08T17:19:22Z")
> [@sylmar](#): > > For “Stand Your Ground” to apply, can you shoot Santa once he’s trespassing in your house, or does he have to be threatening you with presents? You have to check for witnesses (don’t want any) and then accuse him of attacking you. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/10 "2013-10-08T17:50:39Z")
> [@sylmar](#): > > For “Stand Your Ground” to apply, can you shoot Santa once he’s trespassing in your house, or does he have to be threatening you with presents? Presents? No, no, no, hes distributing material goods to families in need. He’s threatening you with _socialism_! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/11 "2013-10-08T20:02:08Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Presents? No, no, no, hes distributing material goods to families in need. He’s threatening you with _socialism_! Ah, so **that’s** why he wears red! ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/12 "2013-10-08T20:06:20Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > You have to check for witnesses (don’t want any. Don’t shoot at Witnesses or we’ll get a whole new Pitting. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/13 "2013-10-08T20:17:09Z")
I’m too lazy to read 5 posts after half a bottle of cheap rum (thank you, stupid bitch); how did this end up with shooting witnesses? I wanna go back to complaining about the persecution complex of retarded monkey SHITBAGS who have “right to life” in the same way that Terry Schiavo does. I mean, technically there’s _some_ brain activity… ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/14 "2013-10-09T00:13:00Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Ah, so **that’s** why he wears red! > [@Arlo Guthrie](#): > > Santa Clause has a red suit > He’s a communist > And a beard, and long hair > Must be a pacifist … ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/15 "2013-10-09T01:38:11Z")
Well this spun wonderfully out of control. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/16 "2013-10-09T02:38:57Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Don’t forget, it’s almiost time to once again kick off the Annual War On Christmas 😛 I hear the elves are stockpiling chemical weapons. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/17 "2013-10-09T11:33:38Z")
And this is why we must fight efforts to curb global warming. We need to melt that ice cap in order to drop Santa’s Chemical Weapons Workshop into the Arctic Ocean, thus removing the threat. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/18 "2013-10-09T12:13:31Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Don’t forget, it’s almiost time to once again kick off the Annual War On Christmas 😛 Personally, I can’t wait to see what kind of slogans the poor, persecuted Christians come up with this year. Last year’s “Santa judges, but Jesus saves!” was particularly funny to me. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/19 "2013-10-09T12:25:51Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > I hear the elves are stockpiling chemical weapons. I heard pitbulls. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686/20 "2013-10-09T13:12:06Z")
> [@sylmar](#): > > For “Stand Your Ground” to apply, can you shoot Santa once he’s trespassing in your house, or does he have to be threatening you with presents? Santa does have those Claws . . . (D&R) Back to the OP, I believe in the Biblical example of marriage. Abraham: 3 wive, multiple concubines Jacob: 4 wives Moses: 2 wives Gideon: “Many wives” David: 5 named wives plus “more wives and concubines” for at least 22. Solomon: 700 wives 300 concubines [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-heterophobes/670686.md?page=2)