# I Pit Ignorant Sheltered Elitist Asshats! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 6, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452 "2013-08-06T00:27:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/41 "2013-08-07T20:26:09Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > People react diffently according to how I’m dressed. When I’m in business clothes, people act like they expect me to be rude. When I’m in in cat-wrangler clothes, they are all friendly and stuff. When I’m in bikergear, they treat me like they expect me to start fights…or like they know I’m a slut who just needs more beer. Have you tried cat-wrangling in the business clothes, wearing the biker clothes to work and wearing the cat wrangling gear to a bar? ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2013, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/42 "2013-08-07T23:09:09Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Have you tried cat-wrangling in the business clothes, wearing the biker clothes to work and wearing the cat wrangling gear to a bar? That’s funny. ^ And what are cat-wrangling clothes? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/43 "2013-08-08T00:17:06Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > What I don’t get is why poor people are spending money on internet access to bitch about things instead of using that money to buy new cloths so people wouldn’t know they were poor in the first place. In my county you can get internet access for free at the local library, and they don’t care how you’re dressed as long as you are actually wearing clothes as opposed to old newspapers or something. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/44 "2013-08-08T01:28:30Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > What I don’t get is why poor people are spending money on internet access to bitch about things instead of using that money to buy new cloths so people wouldn’t know they were poor in the first place. $30 a month for internet and bitching buys more happiness than $30 spent on new clothes. How much rich-looking clothes can you get for $30, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/45 "2013-08-08T02:46:45Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > However, flatlined, you’ve also shown how easy it is to alter how some people react to you _simply_ by making a change in one’s appearance. > > (Yes, I know, some things, like height and skin color and (mostly) age can’t be changed, and sadly they are part of how we are judged; and, I’m not recommending the OP pretend to be something she’s not – but if you want to be appreciated as an enthusiast of scholars like Chomsky, it might be a good idea to dress to look the part!) You are very right. Sometimes I go to more formal events as bikerbitch just to see the reactions and sidelong looks. I just agree with the OP that its not right to be judged by appearance. > [@sylmar](#): > > Can I buy you one? 😉 > > Wish a wardrobe change was all I needed to shape peoples initial perception. I can identify with the OP. > > Distinctive facial scars, rugged build, I dress socially appropriate for whatever facet of life I’m engaged in, no piercings, no visible tats etc, but it’s still difficult meeting people for the first time. > > Stopped three gentlemen walking towards me once to ask for directions, all three jumped back and one of them held his brief case out in front of him like it was a shield. > > Hate getting into an elevator with only one other person just to watch them try and meld with the far wall. Smiling at them only makes it worse. > > It’s a bitch when people find just your presence to be threatening. It’s not a universal reaction, but frequent enough to be annoying. If you offer me one when I’m wearing business clothes and high heels, it wouldn’t be a look of fear on my face, it would be one of gratitude. Seriously, I’m sorry that happens to you. A while back, I was leaving the VA hospital and walking through a dark parking lot when a big guy suddenly appeared around the corner. His face was terribly scarred and he was huge and he surprised me. I’m ashamed to admit that I screamed and turned to run away. I recovered my brain in a couple of seconds and turned back around to apologize to him and he was standing with his hands up and trying to look harmless while he was saying something like “Miss, I won’t hurt you, I was just walking in the dark so I wouldn’t scare anyone, I’m sorry.” I groveled and apologized and really felt very badly about that. I’d like to think that it it happened now, I wouldn’t have reacted that way. It was just such a shock. So, again, I’m sorry that happens to you. Maybe I should be the one to buy you one 😃 > [@msmith537](#): > > Have you tried cat-wrangling in the business clothes, wearing the biker clothes to work and wearing the cat wrangling gear to a bar? > [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > That’s funny. ^ > > And what are cat-wrangling clothes? That really is a good idea, maybe when I’m wrangling cats wearing a business suit would work better. I could just slam my briefcase on the hood of my car and demand that said cats get into the traps right away because I’m on a schedule! Riding to work is how I impressed my not-then-husband into noticing me. Cat wrangling clothes in bars don’t make people nervious. **Tethered Kite** Cat wrangling clothes are jeans, lace up comfy shoes and long sleeved denim shirts that usually have cat pics on them. If its been a long day there will be some grass stains and a few rips and maybe some blood on the clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/46 "2013-08-08T17:22:06Z")
Kewl. You save stray cats? If so, you are my hero. The clinic employs a woman with a disfigured face. I reflexively gasped when I rounded a corner and bumped into her. Not how I want to greet a fellow human being. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/47 "2013-08-08T19:05:48Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I just agree with the OP that its not right to be judged by appearance. I don’t see anything wrong with it. In nature we call gazelles that try to get to know the lion on a more intimate, personal level: food. Getting past someone’s appearance, especially when it clashes with the surroundings or supports a particular stereotype, requires discipline and a battery of experiences that suggest it’s worth doing. There is a reason you dress a certain way for a job interview, to attend a wedding or funeral, or to go to the beach. Disregarding the dress code sets you apart as potentially ‘out of touch’ and thus worthy of suspicion. Also, Boo on the OP for making it sound like the judgment only goes one way. If I’m downtown wearing a tie & matching pants & jacket I get a lot more attention from the panhandlers than I do when I strolling about unshaven and wearing blown out sneakers, cut off jeans and an ancient pac-man t-shirt (pub clothes). Why is that? It’s because the panhandlers are making assumptions about my value to them based on my appearance. Funny thing is, when I’m dressed up, I’m working so I don’t have much if any cash on me. When I’m scroungy, I’m loaded for beer and likely to share. Get over it and accept the fact you’re going to be treated the way you _appear_ to deserve to be treated. It’s just human nature. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/48 "2013-08-08T19:26:58Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > I don’t see anything wrong with it. In nature we call gazelles that try to get to know the lion on a more intimate, personal level: food. > > Getting past someone’s appearance, especially when it clashes with the surroundings or supports a particular stereotype, requires discipline and a battery of experiences that suggest it’s worth doing. There is a reason you dress a certain way for a job interview, to attend a wedding or funeral, or to go to the beach. Disregarding the dress code sets you apart as potentially ‘out of touch’ and thus worthy of suspicion. > > Also, Boo on the OP for making it sound like the judgment only goes one way. If I’m downtown wearing a tie & matching pants & jacket I get a lot more attention from the panhandlers than I do when I strolling about unshaven and wearing blown out sneakers, cut off jeans and an ancient pac-man t-shirt (pub clothes). Why is that? It’s because the panhandlers are making assumptions about my value to them based on my appearance. Funny thing is, when I’m dressed up, I’m working so I don’t have much if any cash on me. When I’m scroungy, I’m loaded for beer and likely to share. > > Get over it and accept the fact you’re going to be treated the way you _appear_ to deserve to be treated. It’s just human nature. ``` Very good post, in someway I can relate to the OP but I also agree it has a lot to do with how we present ourselves. I ran a large diesel repair shop for many years. I am one of those guys who just crawls under trucks out in the dirt with no creeper and when I want to get close to something I squeeze myslef in right into the dirt and grease. I look like hell when I am working and know it. Salesman or execs would often come in to the office where I would be seated or standing and look around me, past me and then finaly right at me and ask if anyone was here. I would always pat myself down and say, am I invisible? Sometimes they would come back and say "I mean someone I can talk to". I would then say, " You mean someone who is clean". I would then direct them to the clerk who would direct them back to me. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/49 "2013-08-08T19:53:01Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Salesman or execs would often come in to the office where I would be seated or standing and look around me, past me and then finaly right at me and ask if anyone was here. I would always pat myself down and say, am I invisible? Sometimes they would come back and say “I mean someone I can talk to”. I would then say, " You mean someone who is clean". I would then direct them to the clerk who would direct them back to me. And that’s a good example of “experiences that suggest it’s worth doing.” If I need some labor done, I’ve learned it’s best to talk to the filthy guy with the real world experience and (usually) unrefined demeanor because he can tell me why what I’m asking for is wrong and here’s the real solution I want. The clean guy who manages the paper will sell me exactly what I ask for–which is often not going to give me the result I ultimately want. Something I learned in the Army: you want to know where the enemy _ought to be and what equipment he has_, ask a colonel. You want to know where the enemy _is, what he’s got, and how skilled he is with it_, ask the infantry grunt. ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/50 "2013-08-08T20:14:52Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > What I don’t get is why poor people are spending money on internet access to bitch about things instead of using that money to buy new cloths so people wouldn’t know they were poor in the first place. Maybe one day you’ll say something useful. Not holding out hope. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/51 "2013-08-08T22:06:27Z")
> [@elninost0rm](#): > > Maybe one day you’ll say something useful. Not holding out hope. Did **Brujaja** pay you to say that? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/52 "2013-08-08T22:50:31Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > Preach it, **brujaja**. Oh, and criminals do look like criminals, because people who look like criminals are more apt to be suspects and get arrested. > You see what you expect to see. Agreed. Also, the maxim “you see what you expect to see” also applies to people like the OP. A purse-clutching or street-crossing by a white/rich/whatever person may have purely innocent motivations and may be perceived as racist/classist by people who expect to see that. ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/53 "2013-08-09T00:03:34Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > I don’t see anything wrong with it. In nature we call gazelles that try to get to know the lion on a more intimate, personal level: food. > > Getting past someone’s appearance, especially when it clashes with the surroundings or supports a particular stereotype, requires discipline and a battery of experiences that suggest it’s worth doing. There is a reason you dress a certain way for a job interview, to attend a wedding or funeral, or to go to the beach. Disregarding the dress code sets you apart as potentially ‘out of touch’ and thus worthy of suspicion. You’re probably right SJ. I’m sure in a past life I did something to traumatize these people to make them cringe so… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/54 "2013-08-09T00:55:59Z")
Read what you want into my post but I think it’s pretty clear I’m on about otherwise normal looking people with out-of-place grooming/self-maintenance. I don’t know what you’re referring to, but it sounds like you’re naturally odd-looking. Freak shows have been around for as long as there have been people precisely because the unexpected is shocking. I’m assuming your post was some mix of condescention/snark/pissed off. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2013, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/55 "2013-08-09T03:59:44Z")
> [@sylmar](#): > > You’re probably right SJ. I’m sure in a past life I did something to traumatize these people to make them cringe so… > [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > Read what you want into my post but I think it’s pretty clear I’m on about otherwise normal looking people with out-of-place grooming/self-maintenance. **I don’t know what you’re referring to, but it sounds like you’re naturally odd-looking. Freak shows have been around for as long as there have been people precisely because the unexpected is shocking.** > > I’m assuming your post was some mix of condescention/snark/pissed off. I think he was being as kind as he could because he’s nicer than me. I know that we are in the Pit and all, but the bolded sentance just fucking pissed me off. You are not just rude, you are downright mean. That was a horrible thing to say to a fellow human being. I’ll bet that you have a very lonely rl because you only judge people by how they look. No friends who aren’t perfect enough for you, not willing look past appearance to find the person inside. My wish for you is that you realize how wrong you were when you start showing physical imperfections and all of your perfect friends go away because you are no longer perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2013, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/56 "2013-08-09T04:39:01Z")
I was just being blunt and a bit defensive to what I saw as a deliberate misinterpretation of my point, not mean. Sorry you feel the need to respond with anger to something you don’t want to understand. The unexpected is shocking and people react with alarm to it, the desire to understand comes after the shock wears off and the perceived threat dissolves. Even good people are no better than that. ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2013, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/57 "2013-08-09T15:27:09Z")
Misinterpret SJ ? > [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > I don’t see anything wrong with it. In nature we call gazelles that try to get to know the lion on a more intimate, personal level: food. > Get over it and accept the fact you’re going to be treated the way you _appear_ to deserve to be treated. It’s just human nature. There’s some subtle, underlying premise in your statements I’m missing if I’m guilty of misrepresentation. I pointed out with an outrageous example the people I speak of had no past experience with me ( Maybe I should have been more explicit and said , “As food”?) , so it’s difficult to understand why I should be feared? Surprised you’ve been on the board so long when you seem to only want feedback that validates your limited worldview. Would’ve thought you’d gravitate towards organizations that were more homogenous in their appearance and beliefs… Westboro Baptist Church, KKK etc. But thanks for trying to share your “insights”. Really makes one treasure the decent people you encounter in life a little more. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/58 "2013-08-09T15:56:40Z")
Look, I don’t know what your deal is. I can only infer from your posts you have some kind of deformity that makes people cringe. Nowhere have I said it’s a **good** thing that people react in particular ways to superficial appearance, nor have I insinuated “different is bad.” All I’ve said is that’s how people are and, right or wrong, it’s asking too much to expect anything different. Can/should folks make an attempt to get past the superficial? That’s a personal decision and depends on how that’s worked out for them in the past. You’re the one who dropped “I’m sure in a past life I did something to traumatize these people to make them cringe so…” which I can only assume was sarcastic response to something meaning, “Anyone who consistently elicits a freakout response deserves it.” And that’s not what I said. So yeah, misrepresentation. ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/59 "2013-08-09T18:47:42Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452/60 "2013-08-09T19:00:40Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > Look, I don’t know what your deal is. I can only infer from your posts you have some kind of deformity that makes people cringe. Nowhere have I said it’s a **good** thing that people react in particular ways to superficial appearance, nor have I insinuated “different is bad.” All I’ve said is that’s how people are and, right or wrong, it’s asking too much to expect anything different. Can/should folks make an attempt to get past the superficial? That’s a personal decision and depends on how that’s worked out for them in the past. > > You’re the one who dropped “I’m sure in a past life I did something to traumatize these people to make them cringe so…” which I can only assume was sarcastic response to something meaning, “Anyone who consistently elicits a freakout response deserves it.” And that’s not what I said. So yeah, misrepresentation. I didn’t quote your posts verbatim as they are fairly long. I gathered from them you felt stereotyping is okay, to indulge in classifying people with your preconceived notions of what their appearance means is hunky dory. With some chutzpah you added," Boo on the Op for complaining about this". Now in your last post, you’re disavowing this sentiment on a personal level with a, " Yeah it sucks, but I’m just citing reality." You really are a slippery fish, and I don’t think there’s much to be accomplished by trying to get you to own your words so please don’t expend any effort in further spin on your earlier posts. Just a couple points to further an understanding between us. 1. I’m not horrible disfigured 2. You suck bitch [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-ignorant-sheltered-elitist-asshats/665452.md?page=4)