# I pit internet assholes! (RO) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 10, 2009, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207 "2009-02-10T13:35:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/1 "2009-02-10T13:35:55Z")
Please someone tell me [this fuckstick](http://www.wimp.com/insanecall/) has received suitable punishment for his offences against decency and comedy in this clip? :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/2 "2009-02-10T13:53:20Z")
Could you give a summation, for those of us who don’t want to watch ~5 minutes of RO? (I got as far as “I’m lost and I don’t know where my grandma at.”) ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/3 "2009-02-10T13:59:55Z")
Can I pit internet assholes that propagate crap like a grown man with glasses on his head acting like a child? I didn’t make it much further, Scarlett. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/4 "2009-02-10T14:06:32Z")
Sorry to be wasting your valuable time, but you have to watch it all to be suitably outraged. I’ll try and sum it up for you busier folks though. Some fool is making prank calls to what sounds like the emergency services and is in no way shape or form as amusing as he thinks he is. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/5 "2009-02-10T14:06:58Z")
If you pit all Internet Assholes, I fear that only leaves three little old ladies trying to email their grandchildren, two 10-year-olds playing with their virtual pets and a stamp collector from Budapest who’s almost gotten all the way through e-Bay. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/6 "2009-02-10T14:07:04Z")
> [@brewha](#): > > Can I pit internet assholes that propagate crap like a grown man with glasses on his head acting like a child? I didn’t make it much further, Scarlett. Exactly. How about sharing the fun ones instead of the stupid ones? I FFW to random points ahead. It didn’t seem to get better. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/7 "2009-02-10T16:45:51Z")
You mean nobody’s yet pitted you for your continuing to blame everyone except yourself for your criminal actions? Seriously, until you are punished for your offenses against decency, logic, and the security of others in their own homes, you should have a nice hot cup of STFU. Go crawl back under your rock, you criminal piece of shit. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/8 "2009-02-10T16:54:15Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Sorry to be wasting your valuable time, but you have to watch it all to be suitably outraged. I’ll try and sum it up for you busier folks though. > > Some fool is making prank calls to what sounds like the emergency services and is in no way shape or form as amusing as he thinks he is. What’s up your ass, jailbird? He’s just another shitbag criminal. Why aren’t you making excuses for him? “If there was proper security in place to prevent prank calls…blah blah blah.” You should be defending your brother, not getting outraged at him. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/9 "2009-02-10T17:04:37Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > You mean nobody’s yet pitted you for your continuing to blame everyone except yourself for your criminal actions? > > Seriously, until you are punished for your offenses against decency, logic, and the security of others in their own homes, you should have a nice hot cup of STFU. > > Go crawl back under your rock, you criminal piece of shit. Uh, what? I’m obviously missing some important background here. ---
**Author:** ![Bambro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df705f/32.png) [@Bambro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambro)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/10 "2009-02-10T17:09:40Z")
Can I please get a link to what catsix and Scumpup are talking about? I want to share in the outrage. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/11 "2009-02-10T17:09:55Z")
No shit. How about a program? A score-card? A synopsis? Something. ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/12 "2009-02-10T17:13:29Z")
I love non-linear dramas. I can’t wait for the flashback to explain all of this. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/13 "2009-02-10T17:17:43Z")
**Catsix** and **Scumpup** are referring to **Ivan’s** comments in this [monster of a thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=502575), and its [sequel.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=504992) \*\*\*WARNING: The sheer amount of nonsensical illogic in said comments may cause migraines. \*\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/14 "2009-02-10T17:18:23Z")
If you can stand to read them, these two monster threads will give the necessary background to appreciate why **catsix** and I think our resident jailbird should shut the fuck up. [1](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=502575&highlight=criminal) [2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=504992&highlight=criminal) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/15 "2009-02-10T17:28:59Z")
I listened to the whole thing: Basically, some dumbass teenager calls Wal-Mart, claiming to be an 8-year-old who can’t find his grandmother. He says he’s on his gramma’s cell-phone, and that there’s some “guy” going to take him home. Then he starts screaming because said guy is trying to pull him into the guy’s car. Wal-Mart is going nuts, calling 9-11, etc. Meanwhile, the dumbass is online, asking his friend if he should call back and say it’s a prank call. THEN he gets an idea-puts on a grey wig and glasses, and calls back, claiming to be said kid’s grandmother, and they tell him what happened, and he starts ranting and raving, and screaming. Me? I say it’s bullshit, and it’s all a set up, for some goofy video. (At the very least, why the HELL bother with a wig for a prank call?) And even if not, said kid WOULD get caught-hello, they trace these calls, dumbass (the OP). Either way, it’s nothing to get all hopped up about. Um, could we get a summary of said thread and **ivan** ’s tale? One of those threads is 20 fucking pages! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/16 "2009-02-10T17:29:19Z")
I tried. But I can’t. I managed through the first 5 pages of the first thread, in which Ivan admitted to some burgleries in the past. Is that the crux of the buscuit, or did he like rape a nun on page 6 or something? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/17 "2009-02-10T17:51:41Z")
It isn’t so much that he was a criminal as it is that he spent page after page in both threads trying to shift the blame for crime from the perpetrators to the victims. ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/18 "2009-02-10T17:59:10Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > It isn’t so much that he was a criminal as it is that he spent page after page in both threads trying to shift the blame for crime from the perpetrators to the victims. Why are you and **catsix** bringing that into this completely unrelated thread? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/19 "2009-02-10T18:11:35Z")
1. Because unrepentant criminals ought not to be engaging in RO at other criminals. 2. Because I can. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207/20 "2009-02-10T18:20:25Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I listened to the whole thing: Basically, some dumbass teenager calls Wal-Mart, claiming to be an 8-year-old who can’t find his grandmother. He says he’s on his gramma’s cell-phone, and that there’s some “guy” going to take him home. Then he starts screaming because said guy is trying to pull him into the guy’s car. > > Wal-Mart is going nuts, calling 9-11, etc. > > Meanwhile, the dumbass is online, asking his friend if he should call back and say it’s a prank call. THEN he gets an idea-puts on a grey wig and glasses, and calls back, claiming to be said kid’s grandmother, and they tell him what happened, and he starts ranting and raving, and screaming. > > Me? I say it’s bullshit, and it’s all a set up, for some goofy video. (At the very least, why the HELL bother with a wig for a prank call?) And even if not, said kid WOULD get caught-hello, they trace these calls, dumbass (the OP). Either way, it’s nothing to get all hopped up about. > Um, could we get a summary of said thread and **ivan** ’s tale? One of those threads is 20 fucking pages! Thanks for the summary. If it is for real, the guy is a shit on a stick. If the “Walmart guy” and the “911 guy” were “actors” instead of the real thing, then it’s still not funny. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-internet-assholes-ro/485207.md?page=2)