# I Pit Men Who Think Working Women Are There to Service Their Sex Drive **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 30, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441 "2012-04-30T19:50:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![poker\_in\_the\_rear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dc4da7/32.png) [@poker\_in\_the\_rear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poker_in_the_rear)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/61 "2012-05-01T00:24:47Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > You’re supposed to huff them. The orange ones fuck you up real good. I agree, orange pussies will fuck you up real good. Huffing them doesn’t help. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/62 "2012-05-01T00:28:50Z")
I swear they’re doing it on purpose now. I know the Pit isn’t meant to be all huggsies and rainbows but good god. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/63 "2012-05-01T00:31:20Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > \ > “Hey thanks for the number. I spent last night filling out internet surveys and putting your number on them. You should be getting more than a few calls starting any day now.” Oh, that’s a good one - give his number to every telemarketer call you get from now on. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/64 "2012-05-01T00:32:14Z")
I understand that sexual harassment is a bad thing. I also understand people taking Broomstick’s posts with a grain or more of salt. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/65 "2012-05-01T00:40:21Z")
> [@Dave\_Hartwick](#): > > I understand that sexual harassment is a bad thing. > > I also understand people taking Broomstick’s posts with a grain or more of salt. I must be oblivious, then- I don’t recall anything out of the ordinary about her. But I don’t pay that much attention. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/66 "2012-05-01T00:51:52Z")
> [@Dave\_Hartwick](#): > > I understand that sexual harassment is a bad thing. > > I also understand people taking Broomstick’s posts with a grain or more of salt. Well, bless your heart. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/67 "2012-05-01T01:00:07Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I must be oblivious, then- I don’t recall anything out of the ordinary about her. But I don’t pay that much attention. Me neither. Also, unless there’s something particularly jarring or unlikely in a post, i tend to take people at their word about their personal experiences around here. If we don’t do that, the whole model of online discourse becomes pretty much untenable. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/68 "2012-05-01T01:01:52Z")
Not that even if she was weird, she’d deserve to be treated so creepily by a creep. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/69 "2012-05-01T01:23:13Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Not that even if she was weird, she’d deserve to be treated so creepily by a creep. She’s pretty weird in my book, in the TMI/doesn’t understand boundaries way-- at least that’s my impression. But yeah, sexual harassment is a bad thing, no argument. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/70 "2012-05-01T01:35:14Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I must be oblivious, then- I don’t recall anything out of the ordinary about her. But I don’t pay that much attention. Needing to take a multitude of showers because someone hit on her is fucking nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/71 "2012-05-01T01:42:44Z")
I sincerely feel for you. My wife is a nurse and a lot of men she has to take care of think they’re going to get the same tuck-in service I get at home. Late night skinemax tells them that’s how it works anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/72 "2012-05-01T02:17:11Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > No, actually I was hoping for a little sympathy but I should know better by now. I’ve had about three showers since I tossed the guy out of the store and I still don’t feel clean. My stomach’s been upset and I could hardly eat dinner last night because I was nauseous. I had trouble sleeping last night because I am _so fucking angry_ over this shit. I understand that having the misfortune to run across someone like this is bad, but really your title reads as if this particular type of guy is common or at least some sort of noteworthy minority. He sounds to me though like a nutter, not a wannabe smoothie. Anyone who gets turned down and comes back the next morning to ask why you haven’t called isn’t just your regular insensitive pickup artist. He’s a fruitcake. I worked in retail a long time ago. Retail is a magnet for lonely slightly mentally ill people who have discovered that sales assistants etc can be talked at and can’t run away and have to maintain a facade of politeness. I don’t mean this as criticism but as a simple statement of fact that if you get nauseous and can’t sleep from anger after an encounter with someone like this, rather than being able to blow him off as a random irrelevancy, you are going to have a tough time in retail. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/73 "2012-05-01T02:33:59Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > And while I’m here, all joking aside, I guess I’m a little confused about why this upset you so much. Yes, it’s clear the man has no social skills and no real sense of propriety. And I understand that those are danger signs that you’d be foolish to simply forget. > > But at the same time, what I hear you relating is not, as I think about it, fearsome or threatening contact. It’s simply boorish and rude. When I was 19, I got a job working retail at a bakery. My first day on the job, when I was extra-eager-puppy-try-to-please-the-customers, I was working the counter, and a middle-aged man struck up a conversation. I told him my name; he said, “Wow! I’m in the big brother program!” and showed me a picture of an eight-year-old boy in a baseball uniform in his wallet. He told me his name, reached out to shake my hand– –and caressed my palm with his middle finger during the handshake. Should that have upset me? Perhaps not. I invite you to try an experiment: next time you see a male buddy, offer to shake his hand, and without telling him, caress his palm with your middle finger. Ask him how he’d respond if a stranger did this to him. If a stranger did this to him as a teenager. After showing him a picture of his “Little Brother.” The guy in my story said we should hang out sometime, and I started trying to be in the back room when he came by the store, until finally he caught me and demanded to know why I was avoiding him, and when I said I didn’t want to hang out angrily blamed me for not being straightforward with him. So yeah, **Broomstick** , your experience sucks, and I get your revulsion, and that dude’s a horrible person. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/74 "2012-05-01T02:36:41Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > And while I’m here, all joking aside, I guess I’m a little confused about why this upset you so much. Yes, it’s clear the man has no social skills and no real sense of propriety. And I understand that those are danger signs that you’d be foolish to simply forget. > > But at the same time, what I hear you relating is not, as I think about it, fearsome or threatening contact. It’s simply boorish and rude. Let me try to explain this so the clueless males can get a better perspective. This… \*creature \*is a foot taller than me. He probably outweighs me about 80-100 pounds. He has ignored EVERY time I said “no” to him. He _doesn’t care_ that I’m in a committed relationship. He _doesn’t care_ that I have no interest in him. _He came back the next day to berate me for NOT cheating on my husband!_ In other words, he shows EVERY indication that he will _continue_ to ignore MY wishes and pursue me regardless. You _don’t_ see how that might be frightening? He knows where I work. What the FUCK am I supposed to do if he decides to jump me in the parking lot, huh? What if he follows me home? Am I supposed to acquire a bodyguard? Why should MY freedom and safety be compromised because of this dickhead? > [@](#): > > I’ll admit I interpreted it as a more mild attempt to continue flirting, which is still not cool, but not on the level of yelling or berating. Explain to me why the _hell_ you think I should just put up with flirting on ANY level when I have stated, very clearly, I am NOT interested. Period. As in “No, I am not going to call you. I have no interest in you other than as a customer. Please leave. NOW.” Which is what I said _the day before_ he came back to complain I didn’t call him. Or, to put it another way: > [@mister\_nyx](#): > > “Flirting”? In what world is referring to your ex-wife as a bitch, pursuing someone and making it clear that you don’t care that she’s married and that she’s uninterested, and then forcing her to take your phone number, “flirting”? ^ Absolutely this. Look, male customers frequently flirt with me on a mild level. Then then grab their shoes and go. We’re not talking about that. We’re talking about a man who is told to STOP, _explicitly_ told to stop it, _and he won’t_. > [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > When the phone number was pushed on her, in an ideal world (and in which she’s the shop owner, I suspect), she should have told him to get out/fuck off/etc. I DID. I told him to _leave now_ after he handed me his phone number. He came back the next day. After pitching a fit about my not calling him he whined why couldn’t I just “be nice” to him. Yeah, meaning spread my legs and open my crotch to him is what he meant. To hell with him. I hope he catches some nasty disease and his goddamned dick and balls rot off. > [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Is this your first time working with the public? If so, accept that a certain percentage of the public is anywhere from clueless to outright mentally ill and don’t get yourself worked up about it. He was a total ass, but by this stage of his life, nothing is going to rectify that. No, it’s not my first time working with the public. It’s not my first contact with men. Don’t get worked up about it? He’s displaying stalker behavior, I can’t ignore that. It’s threatening. > [@emcee2k](#): > > When I read the OP I just thought “Well that guy’s an obnoxious douche”. It wasn’t until I read post #8 that I figured out that this was an issue of feeling threatened. > > Maybe that’s the issue here, though, if you’ve actually experience a situation like the one described in the OP, maybe the feelings associated with it are implied. And from the perspective of the person actually dealing with repeated unwanted advances, there probably isn’t much noticeable difference between “obnoxious douche” and “threatening creeper”. ^ This. Women by and large “get it”. Men have to think about it. And no, there is NOT much difference between “obnoxious douche” and “threatening creeper” when you’re significantly shorter and lighter than nearly every man on the planet and you know that if he grabbed you you’d be fucked. Literally. > [@TriPolar](#): > > Well I understand why you’re upset **Broomstick**. Men are generally poorly behaved lot, but this guy was an extreme nutjob, and I’d be worried he was dangerous also. This is a far cry from some guy flirting with a girl, and coming back the next day was a real danger signal. I think you should have asked your boss to call the police (to get the business backing you up) or called yourself, though I understand there are practical reasons you might want to avoid that. Actually, given that both the owners are also women they go over safety issues with the new employees early on. Basically, policy is that if you feel immediately threatened call security or call the police FIRST and get back to the boss later. Safety first. > [@Steophan](#): > > Needing to take a multitude of showers because someone hit on her is fucking nuts. No, you clueless twit, it’s NOT because I was “hit on”. It’s because the asshole I told in no uncertain terms that NO, I WILL NOT BE YOUR GIRL TOY _came back the next fucking morning_. It makes me wonder if this felcher is going to hang out in the parking lot and try to grab and rape me because he has shown absolute disregard for me as a human being and every indication that he doesn’t give a goddamn shit about what I want, he just sees me as a convenient hole for his dick. The upset is FEAR, don’t you get it? Fear that either I’m going to have to deal with a total creep stalking me at work (or worse) or, if he DOES grab me, just how fucking badly am I going to have to hurt him to try to prevent my own rape, whether or not he might hurt me, and what legal ramification I might run into for preventing my own rape/injury if it does go that far and I am able to defend myself. I told my spouse. I told my landlord so if Mr. Creep does show up at home looking for me everyone else in the place knows he’s a threat (and heaven help him if either the landlord or the landlord’s Psycho Brother gets ahold of him). I checked with the employee on duty today and he hasn’t been back, so maybe Mr. Creeper got the message yesterday. One can only hope. It’s not like I’m a shrinking violet. I have traveled extensively alone. I used to work in construction on all male crews. I know what normal flirting is. This was not guys just expressing their, shall we say, appreciation for the beauty of women and their pleasure being around them. There’s harmless stuff and then there is the shit that sets off alarm bells. This guy pegged my “creepy threat” meter with no problem. Of course, society tells women to ignore their gut when it comes to threatening guys. Then, when they get raped, it’s “why didn’t you see it coming”? Give me some credit - this was NOT normal on any level. Not normal flirting. Not normal socially-maladjusted-lonely-guy-talking-to-salesgirl. This is a man who’s decided he wants a piece of my ass and doesn’t want to hear “no”. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/75 "2012-05-01T03:41:25Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > Fucking Dopers, man. _Nothing_ is more important than the opportunity to make an unfunny joke. I wouldn’t know. 😃 But since you’re so obviously desperate to bang me, I have to tell you that my calendar is full til early next year. Sorry, babe. Them’s the breaks.😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/76 "2012-05-01T03:51:30Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > I wouldn’t know. 😃 > > But since you’re so obviously desperate to bang me, I have to tell you that my calendar is full til early next year. Sorry, babe. Them’s the breaks.😉 Now there’s a hell of a username-post combo. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/77 "2012-05-01T03:56:14Z")
\*Quote: No, it’s not my first time working with the public. It’s not my first contact with men. Don’t get worked up about it? He’s displaying stalker behavior, I can’t ignore that. It’s threatening. \* If it was threatening then why did you give him your attention and tell him about your marital status and listen to him while he talked? You could have have stared over his shoulder with a disinterested look and cut him off with a quick “I need to get back to work. Have you made a decision about your sandals?” If he keeps going on, you walk away. There is no need to engage these people in a discussion, and their talking AT you is their idea of a conversation. He came back? A simple flat “We’re done here Sir” with no face or eye contact the second he opens his mouth and walk away. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/78 "2012-05-01T04:03:37Z")
> [@Septima](#): > > He has to live with being him, every day, forever. Imagine how horrible that is. Except it probably isn’t. 'Cause he’s, ya know, gawd’s gift to women and all that. Honestly, some men are such assholes that sometimes I feel embarrassed to also bear a Y chromosome. Guilt by association. Broomstick, on behalf of the nice guys, I apologize to you for that asshole’s actions. ---
**Author:** ![Hbns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hbns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hbns)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/79 "2012-05-01T04:04:33Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > If you are male and not a relative, you don’t get to touch my flesh ever outside of a life saving medical procedure. Let me be sure I have this straight, only male relatives get to touch your flesh? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/80 "2012-05-01T04:10:19Z")
> [@Hbns](#): > > Let me be sure I have this straight, only male relatives get to touch your flesh? 😉 I take it you’re not familiar with **ZPG Zealot**? In her world, handshakes=rape. (Nope, not exaggerating) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441.md?page=5)