# I Pit Men Who Think Working Women Are There to Service Their Sex Drive **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 30, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441 "2012-04-30T19:50:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/161 "2012-05-01T20:24:42Z")
NM–double post ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/162 "2012-05-01T20:26:09Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I’m going to blame the Nice Guy syndrome. I think what we are seeing is guys who are resentful that women have preferences in their sexual partners, and may want to be with attractive, charming, outgoing men more than a weird socially awkward guy. My dear old fish, go and boil your head. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/163 "2012-05-01T20:26:20Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/164 "2012-05-01T20:28:42Z")
> [@AqualungBats5th](#): > > I know you have a snarkboner for her and all, but don’t you already have a dumbfuck board to spooge this shit onto, you fucking simpleton? Awww…someone needs a hug {{{AquaBat}}} > [@](#): > > And **sven** is the idiot that needs to be spoken down to? Yes. Glad I could answer that for you. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/165 "2012-05-01T20:29:55Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Which is what, exactly? That she wasn’t just pissed. She was scared for her life, very emotionally upset, and so on and so on. Its like me posting about some asshole that cuts me off in traffic and I damaged my car. Damn asshole! I am so mad! Then some posters come in say thats too bad, yeah what a jerk! but also make jokes of varying degrees of funny and or politically correct/ incorrectness. Then I come back about how all these joke are not funny and how can you guys not get it?! You are all so fucking mean and judgemental! Don’t you know my wife can’t work, we have two kids, my father was killed in a car accident, and I might not be able to afford to fix it. We have not friends or family in town and if I don’t have a car I’ll loose my job and in this economy we will end up in streets and blah blah blah. Fuck the two part story shit. Or at the very least don’t get bent and angry at posters that can’t fucking read your mind. Of course I guess we are talking women here who expect that ability of pretty much everyone. At first I felt kinda bad about joking about something she LATER revealed really upset her in a serious way. But then when she jumped everybodies shit and could not tell the difference between intent and content I thought again and said fuck it, it’s her fault her thread went down the shitter. Of course the fact Even Stevens autocrusade subroutine automatically kicked in for no good reason didn’t help anything. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/166 "2012-05-01T20:30:51Z")
Man flirts, woman rejects, man persists. Ooooh! World’s coming to an end. Specially when the reverse is not uncommon to happen. PS – Remind me. Where do babies come from? Marriage only? Or date rape alone? Or does persistence – from either sex – have anything to do with it? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/167 "2012-05-01T20:36:18Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > Man flirts, woman rejects, man persists. > > Ooooh! World’s coming to an end. Specially when the reverse is not uncommon to happen. > > PS – Remind me. Where do babies come from? Marriage only? Or date rape alone? Or does persistence – from either sex – have anything to do with it? Speaking of lecherous creeps with foreign accents… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/168 "2012-05-01T20:36:35Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > Man flirts, woman rejects, man persists. > > Ooooh! World’s coming to an end. Specially when the reverse is not uncommon to happen. Unlike some in this thread, you don’t really have an excuse of not knowing the full extent of the creepiness. Coming back to demand reasons for rejection is more than run of the mill flirtation. If this happened with reverse genders, the man would still be inadvised to try out a relationship due to the dick/crazy rule. It does cut both ways in this instance. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/169 "2012-05-01T20:47:30Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > This is the first time I’ve heard about this. Guess I know now. Two points: 1. I’m skeptical that this is a well-known signal for gay men (or, hilariously, Masons–I love the idea of the Secret Leaders of the Free World molesting one another’s palms). If you already know someone is gay/Masonic, then you may not need a signal to check in with them. If you don’t, then doing this signal to the wrong person is going to get you clocked. It might work if you’re certain they’re a gay Mason but they don’t know you are, but otherwise it’s a risky move. 2. The reason I’m suggesting you try it on someone else is because I have. Only on friends, mind you, and only as part of this story; when I get to the part about the handshake, I’ll ask them to shake my hand. **Invariably** the person who shakes my hand leaps back as if I’d put a wasp in my hand and gives me this look of “Ima kill you!” before they start to laugh in disgusted outrage. Sometimes people will wipe their hand frantically against their pants as if trying to clean filth off of it. This is not a gesture that’s prone to misinterpretation. It’s molestation-by-lie: when you reach out to shake someone’s hand, unless you’re ZPG (who I imagine is throwing up in the bushes after reading this post), you’re expecting a handshake to be a friendly, nonsexual gesture. When the person takes advantage of your expectation to turn it into an intimate caress of a sensitive area of skin–go ahead, caress your own palm now, see how it feels–it’s really oogy and awful. But if you haven’t experienced it, you may not understand just how nasty it is. Same thing if you haven’t experienced other examples of people larger than you, in positions of mild power over you (e..g, customer treating employee), treating you sexually under inappropriate circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/170 "2012-05-01T20:49:44Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > PS – Remind me. Where do babies come from? Marriage only? Or date rape alone? Or does persistence – from either sex – have anything to do with it? Who gives a crap where babies come from? If you think this is a good dating strategy, stay away from my family, please, and by family I mean species. “Maybe some other time” might mean “Ask again later.” But “I’m not interested” does not mean “Come back the next day and demand to know why you didn’t call me.” The first might be a positive kind of persistence. The second is creepy awful loserness. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/171 "2012-05-01T20:51:03Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > Man flirts, woman rejects, man persists. > > Ooooh! World’s coming to an end. Specially when the reverse is not uncommon to happen. > > PS – Remind me. Where do babies come from? Marriage only? Or date rape alone? Or does persistence – from either sex – have anything to do with it? You know, perhaps I’m naive, but I’m gonna go out in right field here and say I’m pretty sure that badgering retail workers who have given a clear and definitive “no, I’m not interested and am also married” response isn’t really how our species is populating itself. Let’s not pretend that this is a case of poor men being oppressed by unfair women who can’t handle any romantic attraction from men they don’t care for. No, it’s not the end of the world, and it’s possible to overreact to, but uncomfortable and persistent romantic demands to a woman, especially a married woman, and _especially_ in her workplace, is clear creeper territory. It’d be just as creepy with the genders reversed, though the physical size/strength discrepancy doesn’t exist in this case. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/172 "2012-05-01T20:51:42Z")
Missing the point. From my perspective – I guess that makes me, oh so special! 'cept I doubt it – there are more than plenty of women with a creep factor close to 9/10. Point being, that while I don’t doubt they are at least in the 1 to 2 ratio, they are out there – worked retail management for over a decade and met aplenty of them – and as long it’s just an annoying experience, would that was the worst that happened to me dealing with costumers. – Just for **Vinny** : “[Corinthian Leather.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vsg97bxuJnc)” ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/173 "2012-05-01T20:54:09Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Not surprisingly, you’re way off on your characterizations of my post. Probably the others as well. Yep, mine as well. I wasn’t saying **Broomstick** was overreacting. I was saying the other posters who were assuming the worst from an ambiguous retelling might have been overreacting, especially when yelling at those of us who were assuming a more mild confrontation. > [@OP](#): > > _The very next morning_ he comes to the shop and wants to know why I didn’t call him! :rolleyes::rolleyes: Posters make jokes. Other posters: “How dare you make light of this situation! That creeper came back and berated/yelled at her!” Me: “…Buh? The OP didn’t say that, why are you assuming it?” **sven** : “Oh, blaming the victim now?” “…Buh?” The OP was very much written as a “Can you believe this guy? :rolleyes:” kind of thing, not “This was horrible and I feel unclean! :(” And by the time **Broomstick** clarified, she’d already gotten her melodrama on. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/174 "2012-05-01T21:02:45Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Speaking of lecherous creeps with foreign accents… [Belushi]“How much for the women?” [/Belushi] ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/175 "2012-05-01T21:03:02Z")
I’m surprised that a libertarian hasn’t yet come in here to say that so long as she didn’t negotiate a contractual right not to have this type of thing happen, it’s all fair play. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/176 "2012-05-01T21:05:05Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Yep, mine as well. > > I wasn’t saying **Broomstick** was overreacting. I was saying the other posters who were assuming the worst from an ambiguous retelling might have been overreacting, especially when yelling at those of us who were assuming a more mild confrontation. > > Posters make jokes. > > Other posters: “How dare you make light of this situation! That creeper came back and berated/yelled at her!” > > Me: “…Buh? The OP didn’t say that, why are you assuming it?” > > **sven** : “Oh, blaming the victim now?” > > “…Buh?” > > The OP was very much written as a “Can you believe this guy? :rolleyes:” kind of thing, not “This was horrible and I feel unclean! :(” And by the time **Broomstick** clarified, she’d already gotten her melodrama on. Thank you. Didn’t bother to read the rest of the indignant “men are horny irrespectful assholes thread” but that was pretty much my impression from reading the OP. Of course, not even BD deserved that treatment in her prime – nor did Sean Connery. But shit happens. We are human and as long as that’s the end of it – a Pit rant, it’s all good for Bo & Sean. Much better than working in a Somalia mall I bet… ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/177 "2012-05-01T21:10:28Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Le’ts do this systematically. I’m leaving quotes whole, so I don’t get accused of cherry picking. > > Standard responses to a person who has been sexually harassed or assulated: > > 1. It didn’t happen > 2. You are probably misinterpreting what happened, he’s probably just a socially awkward guy trying to be friendly > 3. You are overreacting > 4. You must have done something to invite that. Thus, this is your fault. > 5. You did not do a good enough job stopping it, you should have done XYZ. Thus, this is your fault > 6. Anyway, you should just suck it up. This is what you get for doing your job/dressing like that/being female in public > 7. It’s not women who have the problem, it’s men who have the problem > > > [@Malacandra](#): > > > > Want some cheese with that? > > 1. You are overreacting The crack about wanting cheese was in response to **Broomstick** throwing her toys out of the pram because a small minority of posters in the thread seemed not to be 100% overwhelming in their sympathy - not in response to her account of the original incident. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/178 "2012-05-01T21:17:41Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > > [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > > > Which is what, exactly? > > That she wasn’t just pissed. She was scared for her life, very emotionally upset, and so on and so on. My apologies. It sounded like you were being an asshole and saying that there was _nothing_ in the OP for her to be upset about, rather than that she wasn’t clear how threatening the situation was, and how upset she was. I agree; it sounded more like (thoroughly justified) garden-variety venting at first, and I didn’t get why she was unhappy with the responses she got, especially **Diosa’s**. Sorry for the wrong assumption. > [@billfish678](#): > > Of course I guess we are talking women here who expect that ability of pretty much everyone. Oh, no wait - still an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/179 "2012-05-01T21:19:49Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Oh, no wait - still an asshole. Well, if this trains gonna wreck, might as well put the throttle on high right? And even assholes can be right about something sometimes right? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441/180 "2012-05-01T21:45:29Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > My apologies. It sounded like you were being an asshole and saying that there was _nothing_ in the OP for her to be upset about, rather than that she wasn’t clear how threatening the situation was, and how upset she was. I agree; it sounded more like (thoroughly justified) garden-variety venting at first, and I didn’t get why she was unhappy with the responses she got, especially **Diosa’s**. Sorry for the wrong assumption. Oops, forgot to say thanks for that. But don’t tell anyone I said so or they will take away my asshole union card. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-men-who-think-working-women-are-there-to-service-their-sex-drive/620441.md?page=10)