# I pit mice **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 1, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039 "2013-08-01T00:40:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/21 "2013-08-03T14:32:03Z")
It’s disgusting to think of actually doing it, but I think the fastest, most humane way of doing it would be to pick up a brick and smash their little heads. Personally, I always use the snap traps, because they’ve always been instant kills on mice IME. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/22 "2013-08-03T14:40:31Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Buy some snakes. Then latter a mongoose or two. That’ll take care of all the mouse shit. All you’ll have left is snake and mongoose shit. Much better. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/23 "2013-08-03T17:04:04Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Just drop the whole thing in a bucket of water, & drown the little twerps. > [@Bozuit](#): > > Personally, I think if you’re going to decide to kill something, you have a responsibility to do it as humanely as possible. Fuck people who want something dead but are too squeamish to get their hands dirty and do it properly. Nah, I want them to suffer. Once I see that they have the capacity for suffering and terror, I’ll start pulling a few out of the bucket at the last minute, and releasing them back among their fellows. Soon, the legend will spread that my dwelling-place is a house of horrors, and they will leave of their own accord. I’m all about eliminating the need for me to lift a finger to solve the problem. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/24 "2013-08-03T17:19:11Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Nah, I want them to suffer. Once I see that they have the capacity for suffering and terror, I’ll start pulling a few out of the bucket at the last minute, and releasing them back among their fellows. > > Soon, the legend will spread that my dwelling-place is a house of horrors, and they will leave of their own accord. > > I’m all about eliminating the need for me to lift a finger to solve the problem. You could start a Gitmo for mice - call it Gitmouse - and water board them instead. Better yet, turn some of them into double agents for your newly created Dept. of Homestead Security. I’d get them addicted to peanut butter and high fructose corn syrup. Sure, they can get that on the black market but its shit. You’d have to set up a means of communication though so the other mice didn’t get suspicious which would mean learning some spycraft - oh, and teaching them to write but they’re smarter than they let on so that wouldn’t be a big deal. You’d need to set up things like dead drops and safe houses. And maybe get a couple of remote control helicopters for those messy extraction operations (don’t forget Blackhawk Down). But I think you could do it all on a budget of a couple hundred bucks. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SuperAbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@SuperAbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperAbe)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/25 "2013-08-03T17:24:27Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Buy some snakes. Then latter a mongoose or two. \ **Lisa:** But aren’t the snakes even worse? \*\*Skinner: \*\*Yes, but we’re prepared for that. We’ve lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat. **Lisa:** But then we’re stuck with gorillas! \*\*Skinner: \*\*No, that’s the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death. \ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/26 "2013-08-03T17:25:07Z")
> [@deltasigma](#): > > You could start a Gitmo for mice - call it Gitmouse - and water board them instead. Better yet, turn some of them into double agents for your newly created Dept. of Homestead Security. I’d get them addicted to peanut butter and high fructose corn syrup. Sure, they can get that on the black market but its shit. > > You’d have to set up a means of communication though so the other mice didn’t get suspicious which would mean learning some spycraft - oh, and teaching them to write but they’re smarter than they let on so that wouldn’t be a big deal. You’d need to set up things like dead drops and safe houses. And maybe get a couple of remote control helicopters for those messy extraction operations (don’t forget Blackhawk Down). But I think you could do it all on a budget of a couple hundred bucks. 😃 But if they don’t have the capacity for pain and terror, it’s all for naught. I might have to start with genetically engineering some mice that are intelligent enough to communicate complex concepts, and introducing them into the bloodline. Which, of course means I need to register at the community college for some remedial biology courses… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/27 "2013-08-04T00:00:15Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > I’m not an expert in humane killings, having never had to do it myself. Maybe an air pistol would be a good option? Undergrad I worked in a physiology lab. I killed many mice humanely. Holding by the tail, the mouse is allowed to grab welded wire with its forefeet. A dowel rod is laid across the neck, pressed down, and the tail is jerked back smartly. Hard enough to break the neck without decapitation. I could do 100 an hour. AALAS and the AVMA described it as a humane procedure. Air pistol = Torture. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/28 "2013-08-04T00:14:45Z")
Cats? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/29 "2013-08-04T02:39:52Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > . . . Air pistol = Torture. How do you figure? Is it that the target area is so small that even a good shot is likely to miss it? IMO, even an average shot will be able to hit the cranium, and that will annihilate the brain. A pellet going at 400 fps or greater will do in a mouse, pretty nearly instantaneously, almost anywhere it hits, but most certainly if it hits the cranium. Yeah, small target, but you’d fire from a lot closer than standard target-shooting range. ---
**Author:** ![Arthur\_See\_Clarity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d9b06d/32.png) [@Arthur\_See\_Clarity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arthur_See_Clarity)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/30 "2013-08-04T02:45:07Z")
I’m glad that my first topic devolved this quickly. It’s a warm welcome ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/31 "2013-08-04T02:47:37Z")
> [@Arthur\_See\_Clarity](#): > > I’m glad that my first topic devolved this quickly. It’s a warm welcome It really is a good sign. With a little effort, you’ll have your own pit thread in a couple months. 😉 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/32 "2013-08-04T12:36:34Z")
We could pit him for being a mouse-pitter. People have been pitted for less. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/33 "2013-08-04T13:08:07Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > How do you figure? Is it that the target area is so small that even a good shot is likely to miss it? IMO, even an average shot will be able to hit the cranium, and that will annihilate the brain. A pellet going at 400 fps or greater will do in a mouse, pretty nearly instantaneously, almost anywhere it hits, but most certainly if it hits the cranium. Yeah, small target, but you’d fire from a lot closer than standard target-shooting range. Try it. How does your idea work? Put the mouse in a coffee can and fire point blank? Your percentage of through-and-through shots ricocheting out of the can, potentially hitting you will be a problem. If the mouse isn’t contained, hitting a small, moving target is a problem. Anything other than a headshot will be a longer death process than drowning. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/34 "2013-08-04T16:12:11Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Undergrad I worked in a physiology lab. I killed many mice humanely. Holding by the tail, the mouse is allowed to grab welded wire with its forefeet. A dowel rod is laid across the neck, pressed down, and the tail is jerked back smartly. Hard enough to break the neck without decapitation. > . Just in case anyone’s thinking of trying this: I’ve done it too, and it only works with lab mice. Lab mice are accustomed to being handled by humans; they don’t realize your ill intent, or if they do it’s too late. Wild (house) mice won’t let you pick them up, by the tail or any other way. They’d rather die, literally. They’re low on the food chain and assume (with reason) that everything bigger than they are is out to kill them. One lab I worked in had to accommodate some genuine wild mice (the white-footed kind, insanely cute) for some project by the parasitology professor. They had to be knocked out with chloroform every time their cage needed cleaning, then picked up with tongs–and some of then would try to bite the tongs. If you don’t want to drown or club your trapped mousies, clear some freezer space for the trap. Freezing to death is peaceful. Putting the trap in a plastic bag first will simplify cleanup. ---
**Author:** ![DirtyHippy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtyhippy/32/107_2.png) [@DirtyHippy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirtyHippy)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/35 "2013-08-04T16:16:48Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > We could pit him for being a mouse-pitter. People have been pitted for less. How does mouse-pitting work, exactly? Do they make tools for that, like for cherry-pitting? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/36 "2013-08-04T16:32:40Z")
I think a 105mm Howitzer would do a great job getting rid of the mice. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/37 "2013-08-04T17:07:52Z")
> [@DirtyHippy](#): > > Do they make tools for that, like for cherry-pitting? Yes. [Here](http://media.defenseindustrydaily.com/images/ORD_M61A2_for_F-18_lg.jpg), I found a picture of one. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/38 "2013-08-04T17:10:09Z")
> [@DirtyHippy](#): > > How does mouse-pitting work, exactly? Do they make tools for that, like for cherry-pitting? I’m sure if should thank you or hate you for the image you’ve now created in my mind (which I will now forever associate with this thread - 😃 :mad: 😃 :mad: ) :eek: 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/39 "2013-08-04T17:30:13Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Try it. How does your idea work? Put the mouse in a coffee can and fire point blank? Your percentage of through-and-through shots ricocheting out of the can, potentially hitting you will be a problem. If the mouse isn’t contained, hitting a small, moving target is a problem. Anything other than a headshot will be a longer death process than drowning. Cardboard box or paper bag. Also, there are heart shots, and that produces a quicker death than drowning. Anyway, it can be done, so your equating of it to torture struck me as too strong. Glue traps – now that’s torture. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039/40 "2013-08-04T17:52:32Z")
Look, if your traps aren’t working, call an exterminator. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-mice/665039.md?page=3)