# I Pit Minor Dating
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 12, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782 "2012-11-12T15:36:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2012, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/101 "2012-11-13T19:52:04Z")
> [@Ravenman](#):
>
> I’m pretty sure that the OP is one of those teenage South Asian Puritans you hear so much about: he knows that somewhere in the world, teenagers are having fun, and he is deeply offended by that.
That’s my guess, too. And finding a way to justify it instead of just being a Puritan.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/102 "2012-11-14T05:01:20Z")
I agree with the OP that children shouldn’t date other children. Only adults should date children – we can, er, break them in, so to speak.
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### Author:  [@RockytheflyingS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RockytheflyingS)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/103 "2012-11-14T06:23:49Z")
> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> Because we don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I wasn’t allowed to date as a teen but certainly all my friends were allowed to. This is the 80s and 90s we’re talking about. Maybe 13 or 14 is too young, but 15 through 18 certainly isn’t.
I’m sorta surprised the OP is taking so much heat for their opinion. I think 13 is too young to be dating. 14-15 is a pretty good age to start.
By date, I mean one on one dates. Not group dates. I wasn’t allowed to date until high school.
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### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/104 "2012-11-14T12:11:35Z")
> [@RockytheflyingS](#):
>
> I’m sorta surprised the OP is taking so much heat for their opinion.
He’s not. He’s taking so much heat for being a judgmental asshole about his opinion.
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### Author:  [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/105 "2012-11-14T14:54:30Z")
> [@RockytheflyingS](#):
>
> I’m sorta surprised the OP is taking so much heat for their opinion. I think 13 is too young to be dating. 14-15 is a pretty good age to start.
But he’s basically saying that people are going to ruin their lives if they start dating before 18. That’s just stupid. And for his evidence, he provides a Yahoo Answers link in which people point out that it’s a very serious mistake for a 14 year old to date a 19 year old.
He also seems to have this opinion that the rest of the world follows along with what his parents, uncles and aunts are saying about dating. It’s almost like, “Last year my mom told me I’m too young to date, but now someone else is saying something different to someone else… WTF, world? Why can’t you cling to the same uptight moral judgments that my parents do?”
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### Author:  [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/106 "2012-11-14T15:54:54Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#):
>
> You show me a minor who hates minor-dating, and I’ll show you a minor who can’t get a date.
>
> Just lie about it to the rest of the guys at the D&D store. They’ll believe you.
I think it’s adorable and sad at the same time. He’s all “FINE! I don’t care if you won’t go out with me because I don’t even believe in teenaged dating. I don’t even think you’re cute…girls don’t even get cute until they’re in their early twenties! So there!”
I don’t think 13-year-olds should be banging or opening up a joint checking account, but dating? Sure, some of them, and it’s okay if you’re not dating at 13 or 16 or even 18 as well–people are ready for it at different times of their lives.
And yes, I realize that at 13, dating means skating while holding hands when the DJ at the roller rink plays a slow song. I don’t think most 13-year-olds in love are taking a taxi out for drinks and dinner.
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/107 "2012-11-14T16:00:01Z")
People shouldn’t be allowed to date until they’re married.
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### Author:  [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/108 "2012-11-14T17:07:27Z")
> [@sugaree](#):
>
> I don’t even think you’re cute…girls don’t even get cute until they’re in their early twenties! So there!"
Actually, they start getting cute when the matriculate at MIT.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/109 "2012-11-14T18:21:20Z")
> [@tdn](#):
>
> People shouldn’t be allowed to date until they’re married.
Date each other, or date other people?
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/110 "2012-11-14T19:01:54Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> Date each other, or date other people?
No dating at all. People shouldn’t even be allowed to have calendars. And shouldn’t eat dates. Figs are OK though.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/111 "2012-11-14T19:04:56Z")
What about carbon dating? Is that right out?
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/112 "2012-11-14T19:08:59Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> What about carbon dating? Is that right out?
Al long as the carbon is 14, you’re good.
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/113 "2012-11-14T19:10:13Z")
No carbon dating! And no birthdates!
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/114 "2012-11-14T19:12:31Z")
I’m actually taking myself very seriously here. I’m changing a web form, and deleting everywhere that it says “Dates (mm/yyyy-mm/yyyy):”
I’ll note that the form is not yet 18 years old.
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### Author:  [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/115 "2012-11-14T19:18:05Z")
> [@tdn](#):
>
> No carbon dating! And no birthdates!
No capes!
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### Author:  [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/116 "2012-11-14T19:27:31Z")
> [@tdn](#):
>
> No carbon dating! And no birthdates!
No partially dried pitted dates, either.
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### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/117 "2012-11-14T20:45:13Z")
I have a feeling that one of two things will happen to the OP.
1. He will fall head over heels in puppy love with a girl and his attitude will change by 180 degrees.
Or
2. He will be the engineer in the cubicle next to Dilbert. He will then get adult relationship advice from Dilbert.
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/118 "2012-11-14T20:47:39Z")
> [@Rick](#):
>
> I have a feeling that one of two things will happen to the OP.
>
> 1. He will fall head over heels in puppy love with a girl and his attitude will change by 180 degrees.
> Or
> 2. He will be the engineer in the cubicle next to Dilbert. He will then get adult relationship advice from Dilbert.
Don’t get adult relationship advice from Dilbert. Get DirectTV.
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### Author:  [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/119 "2012-11-14T21:13:48Z")
Minors can’t date? They can’t drive? They can’t have sex? I was 14, 16, and 17 when I first did all of these things, as a minor.
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### Author:  [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)
#### Post date: [November 15, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-minor-dating/640782/120 "2012-11-15T17:26:15Z")
In this country, OP, the age of majority is 18. However, in most states, one can get a license to drive legally as young as 15 or 16. You can get a job, with restrictions and parental permission, at age 14, and IIRC, some of those restrictions drop at age 16 (how late you can work, for example).
Sometimes, minors – 15, 16, and 17-year-olds – need jobs so they can save up money for college. They need to drive to get to those jobs. Not every city has reliable public transportation.
Also, the age of consent (for sex) varies among the states, but in some states, the age of consent is as low as 14 or 15. In most states, it’s around 16-18.
So what qualifies as a “minor” in your country and what qualifies as a minor in this country (the U.S.) are clearly very different.
My opinion is, if a 16-year-old is mature enough to get and keep a job, and is responsible enough to drive herself there and get to work on time every day, then why shouldn’t that person also be mature and responsible enough to have clean, safe sex with someone they love very much? Fortunately, we don’t throw teens in jail in this country for boinking each other, or dare I say it, 90% of us on this board would have some jail time behind us. 😉
I post all this to point out that, when you say something as vague and unclear as “Minors shouldn’t date,” you are apparently unaware that different countries have different ages of majority and that all adult rights are not just conferred upon 18-year-olds.
Because, also in this country, you can legally consent to have sex at 17, but you can’t vote until 18. You can get married at (whatever age is the age of consent in your state) with parental permission. You can be married without parental permission at age 18, and you can enlist in the military and fight and die for your country, BUT. You cannot legally drink a beer until you are 21.
So does that mean you think people shouldn’t date until they are old enough to drink a beer legally? Should the age of majority confer all these rights upon you at one time, or does it make sense to gradually add citizen rights and responsibilities as a person matures with age?
I come from a very strict religious culture that also believes that sex before marriage is a sin. In fact, this church – which I like to refer to as a cult – encourages young people to marry and have babies as quickly as possible. Within this religious culture (which will remain unnamed because it’s irrelevant to this post), I have observed many couples having their first kiss at the altar after having dated for a few months at most. Six months is considered a very long engagement to this culture. I have also observed many, many, many people who did exactly what this culture teaches: they married virtual strangers when they were not physiologically capable of understanding the consequences (brain development finishes up in the mid-20s). The result of marrying too young just so they can have sex? Painful, difficult marriages that generally end in divorce. People need practice with the opposite sex in working out conflicts, getting to know oneself, learning what you can live with in another person and what you can’t live without. Without dating, you’re going into a marriage completely blind and all too often, the eye-opening process destroys families and damages the resulting children.
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