# I pit my asshole of a 'Friend' **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 10, 2013, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596 "2013-11-10T20:44:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/81 "2013-11-15T00:20:00Z")
You’re fucking his wife/gf, right? He knows. ---
**Author:** ![by-tor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/by-tor/32/266_2.png) [@by-tor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/by-tor)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/82 "2013-11-15T01:30:27Z")
The guy is a dick. Fuck him. You can tell him I said that too. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/83 "2013-11-15T01:59:13Z")
So, remembering that you’d discussed various interpersonal issues before, I did a search for threads you’ve started…and man, you have had some really weird experiences! From your racist uncle to the putative sociopath who desperately wanted to drive you home, it’s made for some good reading. Also some very interesting threads unrelated to your personal life. So whatever happened with your uncle? Did he come around? ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/84 "2013-11-15T02:29:27Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > So, remembering that you’d discussed various interpersonal issues before, I did a search for threads you’ve started…and man, you have had some really weird experiences! From your racist uncle\*\* to the putative sociopath who desperately wanted to drive you home…\*\* I think we solved your ride home problem! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/85 "2013-11-15T04:33:28Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > So, remembering that you’d discussed various interpersonal issues before, I did a search for threads you’ve started…and man, you have had some really weird experiences! From your racist uncle to the putative sociopath who desperately wanted to drive you home… So whatever happened to the Creepy Insistent Ride-Giver? I just read through [that very disturbing thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=590642) It was fascinating, and I applaud you following your “perv radar”, but I do wonder what happened to him. You did come back to it months later with: > [@Is this normal? (Work related)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-work-related/565429/30): > > **UPDATE:** > > I recently was rehired by the company last week, and on the very first day back he offered me a drive home (this was with other people I work with, a carpool) anyway, I point blank refused to accept a drive home. Same thing happened the next day, luckily I ride to work on my bike now. > > What happened next was one of my friends explained to the guy why I never wanted a lift from him, and told me that they had a few laughs about it, I don’t mind about that, the guy doesn’t speak to me anymore, my friend said that he doesn’t wanna bother trying with me. But people asked what you meant by _“one of my friends explained to the guy why I never wanted a lift from him”_, and asked if they told him you thought he was a creepy sociopath. You didn’t reply, so I’ll ask again now: Did someone at your work really tell him you were afraid of him? Or that you thought he was a sociopath/potential murderer? Wouldn’t that result in a much more extreme reaction than “the guy doesn’t speak to me anymore”? Whoa, I just reread the thread and your comment sank in: _“my friend said that he doesn’t wanna bother trying with me”_. WTF!?! Is there really a chance it was an innocent joke, or does that mean the friend knows he had plans to abduct you/seduce you/take you home to mama? ---
**Author:** ![all\_timestamps\_displayed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/958977/32.png) [@all\_timestamps\_displayed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/all_timestamps_displayed)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/86 "2013-11-15T04:59:49Z")
You’re kind of an entitled weiner **and** your buddy was being a bit of a douche! ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/87 "2013-11-15T05:59:55Z")
Geez you’re a harsh lot. I know it’s the Pit and all, but give the kid a break fer’ chrissakes. \*\* Ryan\_Liam\*\*, I understand the timeline and the events as you have described, and your mate was being an arsehole…most likely just to piss you off. If I remember rightly, you’re a youngish fella, and I wonder whether your ‘friend’ thought that it would be hilarious to dump you, 'cos, y’know, that’s what young blokes do to each other. I wouldn’t say too much to your friend…but never forget! Revenge, as they say, is a dish best served cold. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/88 "2013-11-15T06:26:17Z")
> [@all\_timestamps\_displayed](#): > > You’re kind of an entitled weiner **and** your buddy was being a bit of a douche! Now there’s a compromise theory I can get behind! ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/89 "2013-11-15T11:11:36Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > So, remembering that you’d discussed various interpersonal issues before, I did a search for threads you’ve started…and man, you have had some really weird experiences! From your racist uncle to the putative sociopath who desperately wanted to drive you home, it’s made for some good reading. Also some very interesting threads unrelated to your personal life. > > So whatever happened with your uncle? Did he come around? A few years ago he said he wanted us to be have a normal relationship again, however I’ve not heard from him since. > [@](#): > > **digs** > You didn’t reply, so I’ll ask again now: Did someone at your work really tell him you were afraid of him? Or that you thought he was a sociopath/potential murderer? Wouldn’t that result in a much more extreme reaction than “the guy doesn’t speak to me anymore”? They didn’t tell him I was afraid of him, but they told him the reasons as to why I was uncomfortable with him wanting to drive me home. He works on a completely different shift now so I never see him. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/90 "2013-11-15T13:43:42Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > They didn’t tell him I was afraid of him, but they told him the reasons as to why I was uncomfortable with him wanting to drive me home… But if they told him your reason, that’d be a huge deal. You made it clear that your reason for not wanting a ride home was that your “Sociopathic Abductor” radar was going off loud and clear. I mean the guy would drive slowly right next to you as you were walking, and when you did get in his van, he took off in an unknown direction and kept taunting you “You don’t know where you are now, do you?” And everyone else in that thread agreed with you. So what did they tell him? A number of people in these various threads have asked you to communicate more clearly. We want to understand. You’ve said “they told him the reasons” a couple of times now. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/91 "2013-11-15T14:12:24Z")
> [@digs](#): > > But if they told him your reason, that’d be a huge deal. > > You made it clear that your reason for not wanting a ride home was that your “Sociopathic Abductor” radar was going off loud and clear. I mean the guy would drive slowly right next to you as you were walking, and when you did get in his van, he took off in an unknown direction and kept taunting you “You don’t know where you are now, do you?” > > And everyone else in that thread agreed with you. > > So what did they tell him? A number of people in these various threads have asked you to communicate more clearly. We want to understand. You’ve said “they told him the reasons” a couple of times now. It wasn’t a van, it was a car, and he didn’t drive slowly next to me. We had finished work and I got a lift from him, and was under the mistaken impression that he’d be driving a few other people, like before, to the the centre of down to drop us off. Only when that didn’t happen, and we went a different way, did my alarm bells go off. As for my my friends, they told him pretty much what I described in my OP about this, that I didn’t want a lift from him anymore because I thought he was up to no good, however, they framed it as more of a joke than anything serious, but it wasn’t the way I looked upon it. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/92 "2013-11-15T14:20:18Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > As for my my friends, they told him pretty much what I described in my OP about this, that I didn’t want a lift from him anymore because I thought he was up to no good, however, they framed it as more of a joke than anything serious, but it wasn’t the way I looked upon it. Well, I agree with everyone in that thread that your instincts were spot on, and I’m relieved you stuck to your guns. I’m just surprised that other people could tell him about it without him realizing how creepy and threatening you (and presumably others) think he is. Seriously, everyone except _Ryan_, if you want to get a frisson of squickiness running up your spine, read [**the tale of Workplace Weirdness.**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=590642) ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/93 "2013-11-16T18:25:12Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Who said what was out of order? And what do you mean by “out of order”? The cab? The vending machine you were using? You were in a courtroom and the judge said “it” was out of order? Who is the “it”? > > He said no to what? > > If you explained yourself better in the first place you wouldn’t have to keep coming back to explain yourself. “Out of order” in British vernacular means unacceptable behaviour. “It” referred to not waiting. _Eta couldn’t bear waiting for Ryan\_Liam to explain this. In fact I knew he wouldn’t 🙂_ ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/94 "2013-11-17T20:40:05Z")
> [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](#): > > “Out of order” in British vernacular means unacceptable behavior. “It” referred to not waiting. > > _Eta couldn’t bear waiting for Ryan\_Liam to explain this. In fact I knew he wouldn’t 🙂_ Thanks :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/95 "2013-11-18T05:17:45Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > Thanks :dubious: You deserved it. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/96 "2013-11-18T09:03:43Z")
> [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](#): > > Eta couldn’t bear waiting for Ryan\_Liam to explain this. Just drive off and leave him. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/97 "2013-11-19T16:06:29Z")
Look…people are having a hard time following you because your grasp of English grammar and syntax is tenuous at best. Consider this post alone. > [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > Yup, me and him and another friend all hang out regularly. He’s not just a work acquaintance. Another (mutual) friend, him and I hang out together regularly. > [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > My bad, it’s a typo, it should of read we we’re waiting in line after _getting_ a few things. :smack: It’s not a typo and you still didn’t correct anything!? The question was…“Why wait in line after getting a few things?” Secondly, it’s “we were waiting in line…” > [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > As I said numerous times before, I didn’t care about paying full price for the ride, and I know my friend enough to know that he wouldn’t pay my half, and I didn’t expect him too, and he didn’t expect to do that either. …expect him to… > [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > **Paying for my goods I just got?** Like I said before, the taxi was a 30 second walk away. …bolding mine. Really!? ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/98 "2013-11-19T20:30:33Z")
> [@](#): > > **Sparky812** > Look…people are having a hard time following you because your grasp of English grammar and syntax is tenuous at best. > Consider this post alone. Not interested, I’ll admit I’ve made a few spelling and grammar mistakes, I’m not interested in any unsolicited advice you have to give. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/99 "2013-11-19T21:25:05Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > Not interested, I’ll admit I’ve made a few spelling and grammar mistakes, I’m not interested in any unsolicited advice you have to give. That’s the spirit boy! Never let a clear concise narrative get in the way of telling a confusing story! Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596/100 "2013-11-19T22:17:11Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > …I’m not interested in any unsolicited advice you have to give. So why are you posting on a message board, then? Especially one that’s “fighting ignorance”. Especially since you’re made it clear you’re enjoying ignorance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-asshole-of-a-friend/673596.md?page=6)