# I pit my boyfriend's family **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 28, 2004, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906 "2004-12-28T07:16:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/1 "2004-12-28T07:16:38Z")
…because they didn’t buy him anything for Xmas. Okay, so Xmas isn’t really about presents, it’s the thought that counts, etc. And he is twenty-six. But he went to a lot of trouble, and spent a lot of money, on his parents and two younger siblings this year. They couldn’t all chip in and buy him a DVD? Or even a damn pair of pants? He says he doesn’t care, but I could sense the disappointment in his voice when he called me. No, Xmas isn’t about presents, but to not get anything at all, especially when you went to the trouble of buying for everyone else, that’s just a fucking shitty thing. I can see not going all out for someone who’s basically an adult, but it really wouldn’t have killed them to buy him something. Fuck, even a pair of gloves would have been sufficient to say “I recognize you as part of this family, and I care about you.” But those fuckers couldn’t even do that, and for that, I pit them. Also they didn’t even have Xmas dinner at his house, unless peel and eat shrimp and pierogies count as an Xmas feast. Asscakes. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/2 "2004-12-28T07:20:18Z")
Do they not celebrate Christmas? The kids at my work come from a rather diverse background. Some kids celebrate Christmas, some don’t. Some kids’ families exchange gifts, some don’t. As such, there is puzzlement from both parties “Wait…how come Santa didn’t come to _my_ house?” type worried questions to me. I don’t know, that’s the first thing to come to mind, anyway. I know people that don’t exchange gifts, but I agree that it is pretty effed up if your b/f gave them gifts but they did not reciprocate. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/3 "2004-12-28T07:22:23Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Do they not celebrate Christmas? Yes, they’re Catholic. Everyone else got something, too. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/4 "2004-12-28T08:34:46Z")
Pierogies don’t count as a Christmas feast? BLASPHEMY, I SAY!!! ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/5 "2004-12-28T08:45:59Z")
‘Asscakes’ sound like an interesting Christmas feast, though… ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/6 "2004-12-28T09:42:38Z")
Wow. What a bunch of Scrooges. Or Grinches. Or something. That’s very un-Christmas-like. Could there be some misunderstanding? Did they believe that he wasn’t going to give them gifts? I can’t understand why he was singled out. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/7 "2004-12-28T12:43:22Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > Also they didn’t even have Xmas dinner at his house, unless peel and eat shrimp … count as an Xmas feast. It’s funny, because in Australia it does. In fact, that’s one step up on my parents cold chicken (But I’m grateful they roasted it a day before instead of microwaving it as normal, I am also grateful I got food and presents). ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/8 "2004-12-28T14:46:35Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > Yes, they’re Catholic. Everyone else got something, too. Wait, they gave to everyone else but not to their boy? ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/9 "2004-12-28T18:44:05Z")
Shrimp and pierogies sound like a fine feast to me, we’ve done munchies for the family dinner for over a decade and it’s a lovely relief not to have to cook a huge dinner on the day. I don’t care if he’s 26 or 86, you just don’t do that!! Not even generic giftage? That sucks huge, there’s got to be some drama going on, why would they just exclude him? ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/10 "2004-12-28T20:00:05Z")
Maybe this is something that’s worth bringing up to his family. Maybe it really was miscommunication - he said he “doesn’t care” about presents when he actually does, and his family took him at his word. Are you close to anyone in his family at all? You could mention to them that you noticed he seemed disappointed at not getting presents and ask them if there was any particular reason for it. If you can’t talk to his family, ask him about it. As bad as it was this year, you really don’t want it to happen again next year. At that point, bitterness and resentment will have a nice toehold and will start taking root. ---
**Author:** ![Sassafras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@Sassafras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassafras)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-boyfriends-family/281906/11 "2004-12-29T17:28:51Z")
I buy gifts for everyone in my family (brothers, nieces, nephews, parents, sis-in-laws)and I never get anything. My brothers buy for the kids and my parents, and my parents buy for the grandkids. Just the way it is. BUT if my parents bought gifts for my brothers and not me, I would have to kill them.