# I pit my "concerned" parents! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 30, 2007, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014 "2007-06-30T04:29:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/41 "2007-06-30T19:42:44Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] My comment was addressed to Askeptic and his view about the word “ignorant.” I wasn’t talking about you and “jigaboo.” -FrL- [/QUOTE] Okay, let’s jump into my pimpmobile and ride deep into the “hijack ghetto of the inner city.” **Frylock** , are you actually defending **Captain\_C** ’s continuing to stand by using the term, even if mistakenly(?), even after being apprised of it’s actual meaning and insult by several posters here? **Captain\_C** , I defended your “I hate children” comment in the “Baby crying, do something” thread as not being equivalent to making a racist comment, but here, continuing to stand by using "jig(g)aboo is exactly that. Do you care to address this, now that you (should) have been enlightened by several posters? Yes, this thread has been hijacked, but you set up the hijack, however inadvertant. _On track. Most of the black people I know (I’m black) advises me to get rid of my 1984 Porsche 944 (in excellent condition), because it has some dents in it and needs a paint job. They think I should “trade up” to a '97 or '98 Toyota Tercel of something. So much for blacks preferring junkers._ Get a new car, and don’t park it on \*my \* lawn, sonny. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/42 "2007-06-30T19:50:43Z")
[QUOTE=Carol Stream] 98% of the time, Father really Does Know Best. Listen to your Dad. [/QUOTE] For the record, I am not **Carol Stream’s** father. The confusion is understandable. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/43 "2007-06-30T19:57:29Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] **Frylock** , are you actually defending **Captain\_C** ’s continuing to stand by using the term, even if mistakenly(?), even after being apprised of it’s actual meaning and insult by several posters here? [/quote] Here is what I just said out loud, in a soft tone of voice, to my computer screen. “What are the fuck are you talking about?” I relate that for the marginally humorous value to be found in it. But anyway, what I meant by that is, “What are you talking about?” -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/44 "2007-06-30T20:00:02Z")
**Cap’n** , a suggestion, if you will, a form of Dad _jiu-jitsu._ OK, you buy the car you have decided upon. Something is wrong with the car. Find it, preferably minor, and fixable with the minimum of tools, etc. Confess to a certain confusion, perhaps it would be best if he helped you fix it? If he bitches, so much the better (as a general rule…), it is important that he feels compelled to action, because you need him. Still need him. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/45 "2007-06-30T20:00:45Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] My comment was addressed to Askeptic and his view about the word “ignorant.” I wasn’t talking about you and “jigaboo.” -FrL- [/QUOTE] This. I’m just asking what you mean. Other than asking CC if he meant “gigolo” I so no other posts from you actually questioning his use of the term. That’s all I meant with my question. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/46 "2007-06-30T20:04:32Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] This. I’m just asking what you mean. [/QUOTE] Huh? I’m sorry but I am really confused. By that sentence, I meant to communicate the following: That a previous comment of mine had been addressed to Askeptic, not to Captain\_C, and that the comment was about Askeptic’s use of the term “ignorant,” and not about Captain\_C’s use of the term “jigaboo.” What else could I have _possibly_ meant by the post you’re asking about? In particular, what could you _possibly_ read into it which involved a defense of Captain\_C’s use of the term “jigaboo?” I can not make out any such implication whatsoever on any reading. I am really puzzled. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/47 "2007-06-30T20:06:01Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] This. I’m just asking what you mean. Other than asking CC if he meant “gigolo” I so no other posts from you actually questioning his use of the term. That’s all I meant with my question. [/QUOTE] Post your edit: So because I didn’t explicitly offer a post indicating his usage was objectionable, you’ve inferred that I am prepared to defend his usage? :dubious: That’s really stupid. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/48 "2007-06-30T20:17:22Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] Post your edit: So because I didn’t explicitly offer a post indicating his usage was objectionable, you’ve inferred that I am prepared to defend his usage? :dubious: That’s really stupid. -FrL- [/QUOTE] No, it would have been stupid if I had assumed that and didn’t try to clarify. I did (hence, the “question”). ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/49 "2007-06-30T20:22:02Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] No, it would have been stupid if I had assumed that and didn’t try to clarify. I did. You’re the one that went off half-cocked. [/QUOTE] uh-uh. Here’s what you said: > [@](#): > > Frylock, are you actually defending Captain\_C’s continuing to stand by using the term, even if mistakenly(?), even after being apprised of it’s actual meaning and insult by several posters here? That is a question in the rhetorical sense only. I know this, among other reasons, because of they way it uses the term “actually.” -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/50 "2007-06-30T20:51:06Z")
Ironically, the OP started this thread to _complain_ about being grilled/lectured about his percieved ignorance by others. Based upon experience, I agree that you should NEVER tell your parnets ANY details of your life unless those details are positive and/or put you in a favorbale light. This avoids all kinds of crap. Even if your life is crashing down, and your parents ask how things are going, just give a simple response, “Good. How are you?” It seems the people getting on about “jiggaboo” are, in a sense, acting like your parents. “Don’t you KNOW the meaning of that word? You shouldn’t use that word!” As I do with my parents, just to end the lecture/hijack, I would simply tell them, “I have now un-named my car and have forever stopped using the word _jiggaboo_.” Even if it’s a lie. (PS: I don’t approve of the word, but I don’t think this is the place to discuss that issue.) ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/51 "2007-06-30T22:24:44Z")
[QUOTE=Captain\_C] So, this is an amazing deal then right? I am getting a car that handles better, is in better condition, has better mpg, and isn’t going to blow up. All for a net cost of approximately $300 plus title fees etc. I excitedly call my parents. “Wow,” I think, “He is going to be pleased! I have finally found a car that I can afford that should get me by for another year or two.” Well, let’s just say my father’s response wasn’t warm. He thinks it is a terrible idea, in fact. In his opinion, the Cavalier has too many miles on it! It could break down at any time! It is too small! $1000 is too much! (even though the Blue Book value on it is about $1800) [/quote] OK, you know you and your dad don’t agree on how to handle your car problem. You knew that. Next time, wait until you have the replacement car then call him and say “Dad, I solved my car problem - I’ve got another car with fewer mechanical problems. Ain’t that great?” He might still gripe, but it’s a done deal. > [@](#): > > He wants me to go to some dealership and get a Taurus (ugh) or a truck (fuck no) for about $4,000. Where I am supposed to get that kind of money has not yet been explained to me. Basically, he just wants me to do it his way because obviously he knows best. Then say “OK dad - if you pay for it, I’ll do it your way. But as long as I’m paying for it, I’m doing it my way.” ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_Stream](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@Carol\_Stream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_Stream)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/52 "2007-06-30T22:38:21Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] :dubious: -FrL- [/QUOTE] :dubious: yourself. Report back in about 20 years, you’ll have a different opinion, guaranteed. [QUOTE=elucidator] For the record, I am not Carol Stream’s father. The confusion is understandable. [/QUOTE] Praise the Lord! ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/53 "2007-06-30T23:31:43Z")
“Jigaboo”, as used in the wonderful Broadway musical **Hair** : \*I’m a: Colored spade A nigger A black nigger A jungle bunny Jigaboo coon Pickaninny mau mau Uncle Tom Aunt Jemima Little Black Sambo Cotton pickin’ Swamp guinea Junk man Shoeshine boy Elevator operator Table cleaner at Horn & Hardart Slave voodoo Zombie Ubangi lipped Flat nose Tap dancin’ Resident of Harlem And president of The United States of Love\* I’d quote the full song, but darn those copyrights. I think this counts as fair use. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/54 "2007-06-30T23:36:43Z")
The third line is an oft-printed misprint. It should be “niggra”, an old Southern polite form of “nigger”. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/55 "2007-06-30T23:39:35Z")
My bad. I think. ---
**Author:** ![Buckler\_of\_Swashing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Buckler\_of\_Swashing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buckler_of_Swashing)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2007, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/56 "2007-07-01T04:22:19Z")
[QUOTE=Carol Stream] 98% of the time, Father really Does Know Best. Listen to your Dad. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Frylock] :dubious: -FrL- [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Carol Stream] Report back in about 20 years, you’ll have a different opinion, guaranteed. [/QUOTE] I second Frylock’s :dubious: Even if ‘98%’ is just a fake stat used to mean ‘pretty much all the time’ which I assume it is - you actually think that there are almost no circumstances in which in individual does not have a better idea of that which is good for them than their male parent? Huh? And also that a period of roughly 20 years will pass before those who disagree with this idea come to see the light. Guaranteed. Apparently. By this, did you mean to suggest that Frylock\* will certainly become a father in this time and thus be magically endowed with All Available Knowledge and Wisdom™? Or that, due to some (equally magical) incremental loss of intelligence with each generation our children will always be more stupid than their fathers? Cos’ if so - we’re, like, totally doomed. \*I have no knowledge of Frylock’s gender or parental status. I asked my dad, but he didn’t know either. How did that happen? ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2007, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/57 "2007-07-01T07:07:37Z")
[QUOTE=Carol Stream] Report back in about 20 years, you’ll have a different opinion, guaranteed. [/QUOTE] I’m 50 and don’t have an opinion that differs from **Frylock**. No one should live their life dominated by their parents. Parents do have experience and it is great for them to offer advise, but it’s up to the adult child to make their own decisions on issues that sigificantly affect their lives. ---
**Author:** ![Mesquite-oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@Mesquite-oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mesquite-oh)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2007, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/58 "2007-07-01T07:48:58Z")
One of a parent’s jobs is to share information, experiences, and opinions in the hope of making their kid’s lives better. As our kids get older, us healthy parents realize that our kids have the option to either accept or reject the info we share with them. Don’t tell us not to give our opinion or not to worry or care. That is not an option in this relationship. If you are going to tell us a problem, be prepared for some “concern.” If you don’t want to follow our suggestions, go ahead, aint nobody going to stop you. We will still love you, you dumbasses. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2007, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/59 "2007-07-01T12:18:44Z")
[QUOTE=Darth Nader] Table cleaner at Horn & Hardart [/QUOTE] So THAT’S what that line is! I’ve always wondered (but apparently not enough to look it up) . . . ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2007, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014/60 "2007-07-01T13:35:35Z")
[QUOTE=Bearflag70] Based upon experience, I agree that you should NEVER tell your parnets ANY details of your life unless those details are positive and/or put you in a favorbale light. This avoids all kinds of crap. Even if your life is crashing down, and your parents ask how things are going, just give a simple response, “Good. How are you?” [/QUOTE] I 100% agree with this post. Parents don’t want to hear about problems. They want to hear that everything is good. They want to believe that if you _had_ to, you could pull 4K out of your ass and buy a newer car even though you can’t. They want to produce solutions to your problems and when you don’t follow their advice (or can’t) they want to say “I told you so!” Stop sharing problems with them. Deal with stuff on your own and learn to keep problems to yourself if there’s no way for them to help anyway. It’s the only way to stop frustrating conversations like this from ever happening. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-concerned-parents/410014.md?page=4)