# I Pit my dad for unironically pointing out that he retired at 50, and that at 36, I've never worked **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 3, 2014, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738 "2014-03-03T06:03:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/141 "2014-03-08T21:43:02Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > FTR, Once I posted the OP I decided not to revisit it. TY for showing me this was the correct decision. YW. It was the “correct decision” because the way this thread played out was _exactly_ what you were hoping for. I hope you got whatever it is you needed out of this. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/142 "2014-03-09T01:40:56Z")
Is it really possible for someone’s bladder to explode, disability or not? I googled it and found that a person would most likely involuntarily wet themselves before any sort of bladder explosion. The astronomer Tycho Brahe is rumored to have died from a burst bladder, but apparently it’s more likely that he died of some sort of prostate problem or infection. A burst bladder can happen if there is trauma to that area of the body while the bladder is full (such as the Fatty Arbuckle incident), but otherwise it seems extremely difficult to do. So would somebody with a spinal cord injury be unable to involuntarily void because they do not feel the sensation of a full bladder? ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/143 "2014-03-09T18:01:57Z")
> [@CatherineZeta](#): > > Is it really possible for someone’s bladder to explode, disability or not? I googled it and found that a person would most likely involuntarily wet themselves before any sort of bladder explosion. > > The astronomer Tycho Brahe is rumored to have died from a burst bladder, but apparently it’s more likely that he died of some sort of prostate problem or infection. A burst bladder can happen if there is trauma to that area of the body while the bladder is full (such as the Fatty Arbuckle incident), but otherwise it seems extremely difficult to do. > > So would somebody with a spinal cord injury be unable to involuntarily void because they do not feel the sensation of a full bladder? I’m not a bladder expert, but the way I pictured it was that the OP has to perform intermittent self-catheterization and didn’t do so. We don’t know if his urethra works on it’s own (I’m guessing no) or that he possibly has a stoma. In that case, yes, a bladder bursting is a real possibility which makes his choice of locking himself in his room all the more incredible. It’s the equivalent of a vampire deciding to stick it to the other vampires by sitting on the sun deck at high noon until he gets his way. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/144 "2014-03-09T18:19:47Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > It’s the equivalent of a vampire deciding to stick it to the other vampires by sitting on the sun deck at high noon until he gets his way. Ah, you’ve read Anne Rice? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/145 "2014-03-09T18:45:57Z")
> [@CatherineZeta](#): > > ISo would somebody with a spinal cord injury be unable to involuntarily void because they do not feel the sensation of a full bladder? Yes, that is possible because, remember, you’re talking about damaged nerves. It is also possible for someone with spinal damage to be able to feel that their bladder is full but _still_ be unable to empty it, either voluntarily or involuntarily, because of damage to the nerves that control the sphincters. Really, you don’t appreciate how well the normal body works until confronted with the many ways it can malfunction. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/146 "2014-03-09T19:27:01Z")
Thanks for the info **LurkerInNJ** and **Broomstick** \*\*\*\*. I guess the OP is lucky he didn’t die from what he did. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/147 "2014-03-09T19:31:53Z")
> [@CatherineZeta](#): > > I guess the OP is lucky he didn’t die from what he did. [Not the only time](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3361991&postcount=9) you can say that about. Suicide is not a snarking subject. Anyone reading this having similar thoughts, please visit [http://www.samaritans.org/](http://www.samaritans.org/) Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/148 "2014-03-09T19:54:02Z")
Good lord. I hope he gets the help he needs. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/149 "2014-03-09T20:05:50Z")
As far as the thread title is concerned; why is “unironically” (sic) necessary? ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/150 "2014-03-09T21:13:26Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > As far as the thread title is concerned; why is “unironically” (sic) necessary? You’re about 145 posts too late to ask, you know. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/151 "2014-03-09T21:28:01Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > You’re about 145 posts too late to ask, you know. I sorta understand irony, but for the life of me can’t see how the thread’s title works in that regard. And the threads pretty much played out, so I was hoping to give the grammarians some ice time. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/152 "2014-03-09T21:36:10Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I sorta understand irony, but for the life of me can’t see how the thread’s title works in that regard. And the threads pretty much played out, so I was hoping to give the grammarians some ice time. It’s really part of the mystery; in my reading, it’s somewhere between a null modifier and an indication that the OP is another person who doesn’t understand what irony means. At a wild guess, and I really don’t know why I’m wasting further time on this thread - Dad points out to ETV that he retired at 50, and gosh, son, here you are 36 without a working day in your life, so look how inferior you’re going to be still working at 51. Any “irony” would be Dad clueless about ETV’s inability to get a job and thus progress towards retirement. Instead of SSI. And college, which the evil stepmother apparently… outlawed. Or sumpin’, Willie. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/153 "2014-03-10T00:27:07Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I sorta understand irony, but for the life of me can’t see how the thread’s title works in that regard. And the threads pretty much played out, so I was hoping to give the grammarians some ice time. If the OP was unaware that his dad said it, that would be [dramatic irony.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dramatic_irony#Dramatic_irony) ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/154 "2014-03-10T11:21:18Z")
I know we’ve moved past the disability discussion, but I can’t let incorrect info stand just in case anyone is reading this might get discouraged. > [@Broomstick](#): > > The other problem is that if **etv78** does get a paying job he’ll lose all his SSI disability, for good. Once he’s worked for someone else he won’t be getting it back because he’ll have “proved” he’s capable of working and therefore no longer disabled even if he’s still using a wheelchair. > [@](#): > > If I recall, those on disability can earn up to a certain amount of money on the side and he might look into a small sort of self-employment income generator but really, it’s unfair of his father to rub his nose in the economics of the situation. From what I recall, his dad is able-bodied and in a totally different situation. As someone mentioned, you are conflating your husband’s situation with **etv78** ’s. They’re not in the same boat. Your husband was, unfortunately, denied SSDI. The OP was approved and is receiving SSDI. That is a _very_ different situation. **usedtobe** already cleared up the second part of this info (i.e., that you can earn up to a certain amount each month–actually I thought it was about $700 gross… ah, just checked the website, and yes, the amount is $770; maybe there are special circumstances in **usedtobe** ’s situation). Anyhoo, I’m going to correct the first quote. Once you’re actually receiving SSDI, the SSA basically keeps you on it unless, whenever your case is up for review (initially I believe that happens after 2 or 3 years, and following that it’s every 5 years? Probably varies), you and/or doctor(s) state that there’s been significant improvement in your health situation, or if you’ve been earning more than the abovementioned maximum amount of $770 each month _for nine not-necessarily-consecutive months_. Officially that’s considered ‘substantial gainful activity.’ Aside from that part-time work that doesn’t in any way count against you, the SSA has a work incentive program that I think is pretty fair–it’s their “Trial Work Period” policy. Your “Trial Work Period” begins once you have a job that earns you more than $770 or you work more than 20 hours a week. The person on SSDI has to call the SSA to let them know. I’d recommend that anyone who is able/wants to try to get back to a full-time position enter their “Ticket to Work” program, because it offers training and job counseling, plus help finding jobs that suit your abilities. _And_ if you’re involved in this or one of the other vocational guidance programs, _you still get your benefits_ in addition to your paycheck. They give you nine non-consecutive months over a five year period to test out your ability to work. So if you try it for two months but stop, your benefits keep on coming. Once you’ve done this ‘substantial gainful activity’ for the full nine month period (again, either consecutive or over that five years), you’ll either continue to work and no longer be considered disabled–meaning that your benefits will cease after a two-month grace period–or if you aren’t able to continue, I believe you just go back to receiving the benefits. Even if you _do_ go off SSDI at that point, you’re still in better shape than someone who’s never been accepted for it in the first place. The SSA has an expedited reinstatement process so that if you’re again unable to work due to your health circumstances worsening again, you can apply to be reinstated right away and, while they’re reviewing your case, they’ll give you up to six months of benefits to tide you over. Anyway, for **etv78** if he should accidentally return to the thread despite his better judgment :dubious: or anyone else interested, I’ll gather some links. Okiedoke, here they are: [The Ticket to Work program’s site](http://choosework.net/index.html) [SSA’s general work incentives page](http://www.ssa.gov/work/home.html) [SSA’s “Red Book”](http://www.ssa.gov/redbook/) (all about SSDI work incentives, which I’m sure explains all the stuff I’ve mentioned in much better detail) Note: I am not a SSDI attorney or SSA employee or anything like that. I’ve just had to learn about this stuff for my family. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/155 "2014-03-10T12:40:27Z")
> [@choie](#): > > As someone mentioned, you are conflating your husband’s situation with **etv78** ’s. They’re not in the same boat. Your husband was, unfortunately, denied SSDI. The OP was approved and is receiving SSDI. That is a _very_ different situation. No, I’m not conflating my husband with **etv78**. Do you seriously think my husband is the only disabled person I’ve known in real life? I actually have known disabled people who attempted to work who found out they couldn’t hack it, then were subsequently denied disability again because they had “proven” they could work. It’s happened to people I know. I also saw it happen to people with I worked in the long term disability administration at Blue Cross Blue Shield. Neither the government nor private insurance is your friend and both have some degree of incentive to get people off the disability rolls. Due to confidentiality laws I can not in any way relate those stories but people have been screwed by attempting to go to work. If anyone disabled wants to go through a trial work period I strongly advise them to learn the rules VERY thoroughly so they don’t inadvertently get caught in the bureaucracy. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/156 "2014-03-10T12:41:02Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > And because it’s the Pit, I can say this: Boo-hoo, too fuckin’ bad, Get Over It, grow up and HOW SAD TOO BAD YOUR DAD. I laughed way to damn hard at this. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/157 "2014-03-10T20:28:22Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Yes, that is possible because, remember, you’re talking about damaged nerves. > > It is also possible for someone with spinal damage to be able to feel that their bladder is full but _still_ be unable to empty it, either voluntarily or involuntarily, because of damage to the nerves that control the sphincters. > > Really, you don’t appreciate how well the normal body works until confronted with the many ways it can malfunction. Really, you condescending bitch, you’re not the only one who has to deal with health issues–and some of us don’t get to feed a martyr complex by dealing with them by proxy. READ THE WORDS I’M WRITING AND USE YOUR LIPS IF YOU NEED TO SOUND THINGS OUT: EVEN _IF_ HE HAD NO FEELING IN HIS BLADDER AT ALL, HE IS STILL FUCKING RESPONSIBLE FOR MONITORING HIS OWN DAMNED CONDITION. Diabetics have to monitor their feet and a diabetic who went 3 months without checking his toes and had to get them removed BEARS SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE SITUATION. This fucking moron, _IF_ he has nerve damage, should STILL know that he had damaged nerves in his bladder and would have a semi-regular pee schedule where he goes. If he chose to ignore that schedule because he was having a tantrum, THAT’S HIS OWN FUCKING FAULT. It’s not the fault of his damaged nerves. It’s not the fault of his handicap, it’s the fault of a spoiled brat holding his piss for insane amounts of time to prove a point (of some sort) to his brother. So, really? Shut the fuck up with your condescension and your attempts to treat handicapped people like houseplants who have no free will or volition and are just slaves to their conditions. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/158 "2014-03-10T20:35:22Z")
Shut up, **FenTard.** ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/159 "2014-03-10T21:20:25Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > No, I’m not conflating my husband with **etv78**. Do you seriously think my husband is the only disabled person I’ve known in real life? Since you bring him up every five minutes in this thread, and didn’t reference anyone else who had this issue until now these anonymous people pop up to bolster your OMG DISABLED CAN’T EVER TRY WORKING!!! theory: _yes_, yes I do. > [@](#): > > I actually have known disabled people who attempted to work who found out they couldn’t hack it, then were subsequently denied disability again because they had “proven” they could work. It’s happened to people I know. I also saw it happen to people with I worked in the long term disability administration at Blue Cross Blue Shield. Neither the government nor private insurance is your friend and both have some degree of incentive to get people off the disability rolls. > > Due to confidentiality laws I can not in any way relate those stories but people have been screwed by attempting to go to work. Yeeeah, this reminds me of the “lots of people support me anonymously in PMs that I can’t reveal” argument. No one’s asking you to name names, but it’s awfully convenient that until now you only ever referenced your ubiquitous husband’s plight in this entire thread. We get it, you’re oh so noble and stand up for the rights of your husband and apparently dozens of unnamed other disabled people, and thus you’re qualified to excuse every frankly bizarre thing that **etv78** has ever posted because: Disabled. Disabled people can be dumb, irresponsible, lazy-assed, trolling mofos too, you know. > [@](#): > > If anyone disabled wants to go through a trial work period I strongly advise them to learn the rules VERY thoroughly so they don’t inadvertently get caught in the bureaucracy. This falls under the heading of “No Shit Sherlock.” Hence the links to all the info directly from the source, which any right-thinking disabled person who’s been through the system should know to check. Just because your friends are _all_ completely under some black cloud where the mean ol’ government (you know, the one that actually provides SSDI in the first place) is out to kick them out of the system doesn’t mean that many many other people aren’t well-served by these programs. Some are also cheating the system, and some are indeed badly served by it. But many aren’t, so stop infantalizing disabled folks by making sweeping generalizations about how the government shoves people off of SSDI just by trying to get back to work. That’s what the Ticket to Work and Trial Work Period are all about. People should do their due diligence and check with their case workers or attorneys, but I trust people here on the SDMB, disabled or not, to have some measure of common sense enough to do just that. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738/160 "2014-03-10T23:01:26Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > This fucking moron, _IF_ he has nerve damage, should STILL know that he had damaged nerves in his bladder and would have a semi-regular pee schedule where he goes. If he chose to ignore that schedule because he was having a tantrum, THAT’S HIS OWN FUCKING FAULT. Please point to where I said it was NOT his fault. Lack of feeling makes it easier for him to be that stupid, just as nerve damage may prevent his body from pissing involuntarily. Really, it isn’t any different than lack of feeling allowing a diabetic to ignore damage that would be horrifically painful to someone without nerve damage. > [@choie](#): > > Yeeeah, this reminds me of the “lots of people support me anonymously in PMs that I can’t reveal” argument. No one’s asking you to name names, but it’s awfully convenient that until now you only ever referenced your ubiquitous husband’s plight in this entire thread. I am not the one who wrote the laws that prohibit me from discussing the clients of my former employer. > [@](#): > > Just because your friends are _all_ completely under some black cloud where the mean ol’ government (you know, the one that actually provides SSDI in the first place) is out to kick them out of the system doesn’t mean that many many other people aren’t well-served by these programs. They aren’t my friends, they are, as I said, the clients of my former employer which is why I can’t say anything. You see, if they were my _friends_ I could either ask them for permission to reveal all, invite them to tell their own stories, or change sufficient details to protect their privacy while relating the stories. Because these people were _clients of my employer_, though, I am not at liberty to contact them or say anything useful. Winning an argument on a message board isn’t worth running afoul of HIPAA. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-dad-for-unironically-pointing-out-that-he-retired-at-50-and-that-at-36-ive-never-worked/682738.md?page=9)