# I Pit My "Entitled" Neighbor **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 3, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684 "2012-02-03T21:09:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/101 "2012-02-08T18:42:27Z")
Hold your ground. Those are your parking places; use them as needed. Having said that, you might look into some [fake owls](http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=fake+owls&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=4308710837&ref=pd_sl_24ffamsaiv_e) to try to convince the birds to take it somewhere else. Or a shotgun. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/102 "2012-02-08T18:59:03Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Having said that, you might look into some [fake owls](http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=fake+owls&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=4308710837&ref=pd_sl_24ffamsaiv_e) to try to convince the birds to take it somewhere else. Or a shotgun. Fake owls might not work. IIRC, birds that are active in the daytime may not recognize nocturnal birds as a threat. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/103 "2012-02-08T20:29:27Z")
I’ve seen pidgeons roosting on fake owls. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/104 "2012-02-08T21:23:54Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Car tarps aren’t cheap. What do you do with it once it’s covered in bird droppings? Make the neighbor buy the damned things, if this is all that important to her. Making a concesssion for a neighbor, in the interest of getting along or being nice is one thing. Caving into unilateral demands “because I said so” is an entirely different thing. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/105 "2012-02-08T21:26:58Z")
> [@TupeloRose](#): > > I really don’t think I am being dick about the situation. All I asked of the neighbor was to let me park on my property in the bird free zone, for a few days until the birds finished with their “berry fest” so that my car would not be covered in bird poop. I am not kidding, my car was bombed all over…expelled berries everywhere and they are not easy to get off your car. > > But she won’t give an inch…says the bus absolutely has to come down into our parking spaces and do a 3 point turn. Yes, the bus driver says they have to have > all the space or they can not come down. > > I really am still up in the air over what to do. If she absolutely refuses to meet you half way, just tell her to go to hell. ---
**Author:** ![Bamboo\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/839c29/32.png) [@Bamboo\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bamboo_Boy)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/106 "2012-03-20T19:29:46Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > …so you don’t have to up with her stink-eye and bitchiness. “Stink eye.” I didn’t know that that was an extensively used term. I thought it was just the neck of woods I was reared in. Out of curiousity, Rachelellogram, were did you grow up? Did you grow up using that term? What does it mean to you? Thank you in advance, -BB ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/107 "2012-03-21T03:22:17Z")
And since the thread is bumped anyway, any updates, Tupelo Rose? ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/108 "2012-03-21T10:51:04Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > “But she’s autistic!” is not a compelling argument. > > Autism does not entitle someone to have absolute control over another person’s environment. Autism can make a person sensitive to all kinds of things. If the little girl had ultra-sensitive hearing, would the OP have to walk on tippy-toes just so that his squeaky floors don’t wake her up at night? If the little girl had ultra-sensitive olfactory senses, would the OP have to refrain from cooking all garlic and onion-rich foods, just so that she doesn’t freak out? > > No, because that’s impinging too much on the OP. Those are accomodations that a parent may make willingly because they want to make life easier for their kid. But it is not reasonable to expect the world to make the same sacrifice. At least without compensation. Where’s the applause button? I say that as the mom of a kid with mild Asperger’s who HAS sensory issues (mostly noise, though he’s under-sensitive to touch so he feels like he has to touch and/or mouth EVERYTHING which can get..interesting…in public LOL). You cannot expect the entire world to adapt to YOUR child with special needs. It’s the parents’ job to teach their kid to adapt to the world in general. We have NEVER expected the world to change for him because of his issues. We have tried to teach him to be as independant as possible, so he can deal with the world on his own terms. ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/109 "2012-03-21T11:15:28Z")
Apparently, I have no ‘edit’ button on this thing this morning. \*\*And at risk of being pitted, some (certainly not all, mind, but some) special needs people or parents of special needs kids, especially of the mental special needs variety, are the world’s worst about expecting everybody to roll over for them and to ignore totally obnoxious behavior as if it’s their birthright. I really am happy to oblige until the first time that you act like I owe it to you. \*\* As the parent of a spedie, I HATE it when other parents act that way because it tends to make those of us who don’t look bad. When Slim is being an obnoxious little turd in public, we remove him from the situation. Period. He doesn’t get away with it at home and he sure as hell does not get away with it in public. It also doesn’t help that I was raised by a pack of old Southern ladies who were VERY big on manners. So I make sure to reinforce those manners, no matter where we are. 🙂 **expect the world to feel sorry for them, and/or consider them heroes, and/or given them free stuff and help. In this case, autism has gotten enough press that anyone should know that they may end up with an autistic child and something of what that might entail.** I don’t expect the world to feel sorry for me…most of the time. I admit, I do have my moments but I try very hard to suck it up and keep moving forward, for my kid’s sake. I didn’t ASK for a spedie, but I sure as hell got one anyway and it’s been…well…not always easy. But worth it. **As a side note…not all parents of autistic kids feel entitled where it impedes the rights of others…the mother is the exception, not the rule. But…I will advocate for my son when necessary to maintain his rights** This. Next week, we have an ARD (spedie) meeting with the school like we are required to have at least once a year. Both Hubs and I are gearing up to fight a couple of staff members who want him back on medication as well as for a transfer back to his old school where he did a LOT better than he’s doing right now. It’s something you do, even if you don’t like it. I hate fighting but if that’s what I have to do (at least as far as the school district is concerned) to get my son what he needs then I’ll do it. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/110 "2012-03-21T11:44:40Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > Fake owls might not work. IIRC, birds that are active in the daytime may not recognize nocturnal birds as a threat. There’s plenty of anecdotal evidence that it works, and at least one journal article with carefully controlled analysis of the results of using Scsare-Eye devices. Insects even have eye-spots “painted” on their wings that startle and deter birds from eating them, which wouldn’t work if your claim that daytime birds aren’t scared of owl eyes were true. It seems to be a built-in response, not subject to a bord’s experience or whatever they have in the way of logic. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/111 "2012-03-21T12:51:48Z")
Tangential note: Psychopathy is not a clinical diagnosis, so it’s a bit odd that a “pycho dr” would use a term like that. The most similar psychiatric diagnosis to the psychopathy construct is antisocial personality disorder. There is no good medication treatment for APD. I’m also confused by the situation here, since the idea of having multiple parking spots on personal property is not something I’m familiar with. I agree that the last thing I’d be doing is getting a tarp or sheets so that I could mess around pulling a shit covered tarp off the car in the morning. It makes me curious as to what limits people would go in order to make the lives of their neighbors easier. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/112 "2012-03-21T13:34:38Z")
> [@SticksAndString](#): > > This. Next week, we have an ARD (spedie) meeting with the school like we are required to have at least once a year. What does ARD stand for, and is “spedie” a term for someone with Asperger’s? I couldn’t find definitions for either. ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/113 "2012-03-21T14:32:52Z")
ARD stands for Admittance, Review, Dismissal. It’s basically how you get your kid into Sp. Ed. in most (if not all) public schools. You say “My kid has XYZ issue, we need to figure out how best the school can serve him/her. I want a meeting.” and then the school principal sets up a meeting for you with him/her and all the relevant members of their staff such as any special ed teachers, diagnostician, the school counselor and (in our case) the school’s physical and/or occupational therapist. You discuss exactly what your child’s needs are, how best the school can accomodate those needs and set up a list of goals for the child to meet by an agreed upon date (usually over the course of a school year). You get a list of those goals and then every so often you’ll get an update (ours comes with his report card usually) saying what kind of progress (if any) your child has made towards mastering those skills and achieving those goals. When a child is deemed to be qualified for Sp. Ed, then an ARD meeting happens on an annual basis (most often towards the end of the school year) to determine if they will qualify for Sp.Ed for the next school year based on their progress over the previous months. Spedie is the term that I and some of my friends who also have special needs kiddos use to refer to any child (not just our own) who might be in special ed. Sorry bout that.:smack: Sometimes I forget that the whole world is not versed in the alphabet soup of acronyms/terms that I have to deal with on a near daily basis. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/114 "2012-03-21T15:03:50Z")
I think “spedie” may be in-group jargon for “SPecial EDucation” (possibly “SPecial neEDs,” but my wife learned it the other way), referring to kids who require special assistance in order to be mainstreamed into the school system. If you’re not a member of that community, it’s probably wisest to leave the use of the term to them. On review: GAH! Ninja’d by the OP! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/115 "2012-03-21T15:29:23Z")
> [@TupeloRose](#): > > She tells me that I do not care about her special needs child. See, you are way nicer than I am. My reply to her accusation would be, “No. Honestly I do not”. ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/116 "2012-03-21T15:39:35Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I think “spedie” may be in-group jargon for “SPecial EDucation” (possibly “SPecial neEDs,” but my wife learned it the other way), referring to kids who require special assistance in order to be mainstreamed into the school system. > > If you’re not a member of that community, it’s probably wisest to leave the use of the term to them. > > On review: GAH! Ninja’d by the OP! [http://mediacdn.snorgcontent.com/media/catalog/product/m/m/mmaac\_fullpic\_artwork.jpg](http://mediacdn.snorgcontent.com/media/catalog/product/m/m/mmaac_fullpic_artwork.jpg) I’m the one in the middle with the knitting needles. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/117 "2012-03-21T23:32:21Z")
To the OP; here’s you chance to make some extra money. The last time I went to the airport, parking was about nine dollars a day (IIRC.) Tell your neighbor that you’ll be happy to rent her the spaces for nine dollars a day (per space,) five days a week, and you’ll only charge her for a hours labor for each time you have to wash your car. If she refuses, tell that obviously, SHE doesn’t care very much for her special needs child. By the way, take cash only, in advance’ if she agrees. My $.02 - DESK ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/118 "2012-03-22T00:46:07Z")
I’m thinking she(?) probably isn’t coming back… > [@](#): > > General Information > > ``` > Last Activity: 02-04-2012 04:23 PM > Join Date: 02-03-2012 > > ``` ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684/119 "2012-03-23T03:44:10Z")
> [@TupeloRose](#): > > She tells me that I do not care about her special needs child. But I have rights as well. Why should I have to get up and wash bird crap off my car so that she does not have to walk her child 60 feet to the bus stop? Am I right or wrong? Tell her she’s right: You don’t care, and that she should fuck off, and have a nice day. I’m not being facetious; I’ve worked with disabled people and their families, and parents of children like these are _insanely_ overprotective. I’m not at all surprised at her attitude that the world revolves around whatever she wants for her kid, or that she’s trying to play the guilt card on you. The truth is, you can park anywhere it’s legal, and no, kids are NOT entitled to get dropped off at their front door. (I happen to work for a school.) Kids walk to and from bus stops all the time. Ignore her. She’ll bluster and blather, but it’s all bullshit. She doesn’t have any right to tell you where to park on a public street, and being disabled or having a disabled kid doesn’t entitle one to a pair of lips on one’s ass. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-entitled-neighbor/611684.md?page=5)