# I pit my (former?) receptionist **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 2, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778 "2005-12-02T18:32:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/41 "2005-12-04T18:49:34Z")
I should add that, according to my supervisors, the fired employees had been spoken to about their poor performance prior to their termination. So they did get notice of their impending unemployment in the sense that they knew their jobs were on the line. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/42 "2005-12-04T19:08:28Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > OTOH, there’s the arrogant, abusive dicksucker of a marketing manager who seems to have everyone here on the point of beating him to death with cricket bats. What’s wrong with being a dicksucker? You’d think that quality, at least, would earn him some fans. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/43 "2005-12-04T20:50:05Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I agree that many businesses treat their employees like crap, and I really have no problem with the people who quit suddenly. But telling someone that you’re quitting doesn’t help the employer as much as it helps the other employees–who may get stuck covering for you if no one knows what’s going on. So, for the sake of the other little guy, let someone know! Actually, the last place I worked, of the six little guys working there, two thought they owned the place and did their damnedest to drive out anyone who didn’t kiss their ass bigtime. I worked there for three months (and left because the office manager was a howling bitch as well), but in that time we had seven other little guys come and go. Including three who left with no notice till after they were gone. For three positions. And in that case it hurt the management a lot more, who were actually really nice folks but just lacked the balls to make either of the two office queens stop chasing everyone else away. Even though they knew exactly why they couldn’t keep anybody else there. Keeping employees who literally _nobody_ can work with can be a big reason why people quit with zero notice. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/44 "2005-12-04T22:48:39Z")
> [@Mama Tiger](#): > > Keeping employees who literally _nobody_ can work with can be a big reason why people quit with zero notice. I would gladly stay in a job where the people made my day pleasant; no amount of money can make up for 40 hours of gritting my teeth every week. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/45 "2005-12-04T23:44:31Z")
> [@Mama Tiger](#): > > Keeping employees who literally _nobody_ can work with can be a big reason why people quit with zero notice. That’s a good point, and that’s a good example of when zero notice is useful. Make the bastards work. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/46 "2005-12-05T02:17:27Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > That’s a good point, and that’s a good example of when zero notice is useful. Make the bastards work. 😃 That was pretty much the idea, from what I gathered. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/47 "2005-12-05T02:20:07Z")
> [@Martin Hyde](#): > > Well, any of my employees leave on bad terms then their future employes will certainly be told. I’ve yet to run in to any trouble. I have used agencies like [this one](http://www.references-etc.com/check_job_references_2.html) to determine what kind of reference my previous employer is. > [@](#): > > Q What is Slander, Defamation and Blacklisting? > > A Slander and Defamation - are the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations meant to defame and damage another persons reputation. It is illegal. Blacklisting - is the deliberate attempt to prevent or boycott a person from obtaining employment. It is also illegal. > > If you suspect your former employer is making false statements about you, or deliberately sabotaging your ability to obtain employment, you should definitely let us investigate. Our written report can document this fact, and put a stop to it. References-etc is not in the practice of giving out legal advice. You should contact a lawyer if you have questions. If you are not scrupulous about following the law in your state regarding employment references, it only a matter of time before you run into an outfit like these guys. ---
**Author:** ![WilhelmGefallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9f8e36/32.png) [@WilhelmGefallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WilhelmGefallen)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/48 "2005-12-05T03:09:50Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > Just out of interest, do the people who have been berating the worker described in the OP hold similarly negative views of employers who terminate people’s employment without giving notice? If you are talking about making someone redundant, then yes I object to that and would ONLY terminate their employment with whatever holiday pay they had remaining and sick days as well, paid either as a lump sum or paid out over the next few weeks as requested by the employee. The only time someone gets an instant termination here is when they fuck up royally (ie breaking the privacy act, harrassment etc) in which case they are sod out of luck. We’ve had an employee (who had been here for over a year and was friendly with most of the staff as well) who upped and left one day whilst we assumed she was off getting morning tea. She still hasn’t had the decency to say why she left, even though she contacted OUR solicitor to talk to her for advice??? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/49 "2005-12-05T06:26:37Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > snip… She wouldn’t even call me. Finally, at their direction, she called and left a message on my voice mail overnight that she had quit because she was moving, with her abusive boyfriend, out of state. It made me sad for her, and generally pretty rejected. That would likely be why she made herself so unavailable to you when she made this decision. That is sad, but you can comfort yourself (though little comfort I know), with the knowledge that she did respect you and appreciate what you’d done, otherwise, she wouldn’t have been so ashamed, and tried so hard to keep this from you. Abuse victims (both the physically and emotionally/verbally abused) aren’t stupid. They KNOW they’re in for it. It’s not lack of brains that keep them going back. It’s a complex mixture of emotional issues. Maybe the little bit you helped her will someday come to fruition and she will find the strength to leave him. It takes time and sometimes several false starts before some women are fully ready to be on their own. Particularly when children are involved. ---
**Author:** ![Boggette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/50 "2005-12-05T19:37:19Z")
> [@MaddyStrut](#): > > Can employers really fire someone (not a temp, a regular employee) with the “no notice” described in this thread? I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. Worse! I was 7.5 months pregnant and “laid off”. The day before, my boss had told me no layoffs in our group. The HR folks tried to terminate my benefits. Yep. At 7.5 months pregnant. Then informed me that, companies were not allowed to discriminate against me during interviews. Yeah! Right! Companies love being told, “I can work for you for about a month, then need a month off. Your deadlines can wait! Just tell your clients I had to leave to have my baby!” And waddling into their office just makes that perfect first impression. I ended up having to lightly threaten them with litigation. They capitulated and paid my COBRA until after my daughter was born. If they hadn’t, I’d have been completely hosed, as The Hubster stays home with the girls. You can be the best employee they’ve ever seen, and still get blindsided by something like this. ---
**Author:** ![younggun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/85f322/32.png) [@younggun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/younggun)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/51 "2005-12-05T22:50:30Z")
> [@WilhelmGefallen](#): > > If you are talking about making someone redundant, then yes I object to that and would ONLY terminate their employment with whatever holiday pay they had remaining and sick days as well, paid either as a lump sum or paid out over the next few weeks as requested by the employee. But you wouldn’t give them a few weeks’ severance? Or a few weeks’ notice? > [@](#): > > The only time someone gets an instant termination here is when they fuck up royally (ie breaking the privacy act, harrassment etc) in which case they are sod out of luck. I imagine that many employees who quit without notice perceive that their employers have “fucked up royally” (i.e. abuse, harassment, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![WilhelmGefallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9f8e36/32.png) [@WilhelmGefallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WilhelmGefallen)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/52 "2005-12-06T03:22:29Z")
> [@younggun](#): > > But you wouldn’t give them a few weeks’ severance? Or a few weeks’ notice? Sorry didnt make that bit clear. Yes they get 2 weeks notice, however should they choose not to come in during that time they are paid appropriately. We are (afaik) not required to pay sickpay to an employee who has been made redundant, however we do. > [@](#): > > I imagine that many employees who quit without notice perceive that their employers have “fucked up royally” (i.e. abuse, harassment, etc.) I’m talking about situations that can lead to hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of fines to my company, and also a $50,000-$100,000 fine to the individual involved (depending on severity) along with possible criminal charges, all of these issues are clearly stated in the guidelines when someone is employed and re-iterated monthly. I cannot think of any reason that would cause me to walk out of a job without explaining that A) Im quitting and B) why, even if it was leaving without giving further notice. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/53 "2005-12-06T04:53:31Z")
> [@UnwrittenNocturne](#): > > That’s because a lot of former employees have sued for getting bad references that have cost them jobs. Whether the bad references were deserved or not, I don’t know…But, if he ever lists me as a reference, I cannot tell the caller any of this. Beh. Do you even have to confirm they worked there at all? I don’t mean lie and say they didn’t work there, but just saying “No comment” when asked for a reference? ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/54 "2005-12-06T06:31:28Z")
Speaking of what employers say about you after you’ve gone, a few years ago I was at outs with my mother (whole other thread) and was not communicating with her. My mother is the type of person who wants to have her cake and eat it, too; she wanted to keep tabs on me while still maintaining her “position” on our issues. She was having no luck at all; I had intentionally vanished off radar. That is, until she called the restaurant I’d recently quit and got hold of one of my ex-managers. Said manager had a nice long chat with her about what I was doing, who I was dating, his opinions on all of it, etc. I was absolutely livid. I wanted to sue the bastard. He was not a friend, not remotely familiar with my situation with my mother, and just assumed that it would be kosher to share personal information about me that he had gleaned from working with me. (We had never really gotten along, so I can only imagine he was probably pleased to get the chance to dish.) I don’t know if what he did violates any kind of law, but I would assume that there’s got to be some kind of privacy standard in place, wherein your boss can’t just chat about you to any random person who calls asking personal questions. Just the fact that she had to ask a manager what I was doing should have given him the heads up that she didn’t know the answers for a reason. It was not up to him to determine whether or not that reason was valid. I was far more upset than I’d have been if he’d given me a less-than-stellar reference. Trust me! Regarding the OP…the few times I’ve decided to quit a job and go to the trouble of putting in my notice, I’ve rarely managed to finish the two weeks because the working conditions get so uncomfortable. Which is why I consider it a waste of time, honestly. The bar biz is very hit and miss, and the window of opportunity to get a good gig is pretty narrow. I’m not going to miss out on a new job opportunity just to finish out my time at a job I’m leaving anyway. I hate looking for work and I hate being The New Girl, so working conditions have to get pretty damn bad for me to ponder quitting. If it gets that far, I don’t really give a damn about putting anyone out by leaving without notice. I’ve never been fired, but like Mr. Levins says, they don’t give you two weeks notice when they can you, so when you decide to can _them_, why do they deserve more courtesy? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/55 "2005-12-06T22:04:01Z")
> [@Audrey Levins](#): > > \ I’ve never been fired, but like Mr. Levins says, they don’t give you two weeks notice when they can you, so when you decide to can _them_, why do they deserve more courtesy? My husband was unexpectedly fired from a job once, and they made him work out the last two weeks. As you can imagine, he worked very diligently for those two weeks. :rolleyes: They were truly lucky that he isn’t more vindictive; he took the high road and only sabotaged them a little. Oh, and your former manager talking to your mother like that? He’s lucky the person looking for you wasn’t a psycho ex-boyfriend who promptly found you and killed you. He displayed **extremely** poor judgement in what he did. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/56 "2005-12-06T22:39:32Z")
I have an update. Today I was faxed a letter saying that the former employee would no longer be working for me secondary to “problems with [her] husband” and telling me that a relative would be by to pick up her final check. She requested that I pay her the unused vacation time and sick leave (about three days’ worth). My staff told me “Don’t you dare pay it” but I went ahead and did it anyway. With regard to references, in this area, most people will only confirm the dates somebody worked for them and state whether or not they would rehire them, which is my policy also. The question of whether I am an intolerable boss also came up and I suppose it could be true. Personally, I think I’m too soft. To give an example: the parttimer who is now my fulltime receptionist was working for me full-time. She is a single mother and three times I had to advance her money because her ex wasn’t paying daycare, and if the kids didn’t go to daycare she couldn’t work. A few times I let her bring her 15 month old to the office with her. The last time I advanced her money, she had car troubles and couldn’t repay it. She left my office for a job paying $5 an hour. She called the next day begging to come back at her prior pay. She was fired from there after less than two weeks for taking too much time off with her sick kids. I took her back part-time because I knew she needed the money, even though I wasn’t really planning on another employee. I didn’t make her full-time until last Wednesday but I decided to give her vacation and sick time accrued for the entire last pay period and to pay her for half of Thanksgiving day, which was a holiday, because she was so great about jumping in, and because her kids need Christmas presents. She still owes me the money I advanced her. Still think I’m a hardass? One employee forged my name on a document and was rumored to have stolen medications from my supply closet for her friends’ use (she admitted to one case, but apparently there were more). Not only did I allow her to resign, but I paid her accrued vacation and sick leave. In short, I’m beginning to think that my employees step all over me because I let them. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/57 "2005-12-06T22:43:27Z")
that would be $5 _more_ an hour ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/58 "2005-12-07T00:30:41Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > \ In short, I’m beginning to think that my employees step all over me because I let them. I would have to agree with that. I think you need to brush up on “boundaries.” (By the way, anyone brings their 15 month old to the office I’m working at for the day, and _I’m_ looking for a new job. An office is not a daycare.) ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/59 "2005-12-09T00:30:45Z")
The summer after my first year of college I worked as a labor temp, factory stuff y’know. I was working at a plastics plant for the week and on the third day I showed up and there was no punch card for me. So I did like I did on the first day. I wrote up a new one. I punched in and went to my station and was about to work when the shift manager told me to go home. It was weird. Really awkward walking through the plant past all the regular employees. I got home and there was a message on my answering machine from the temp agency at literally 15 minutes before I was supposed to clock in, saying I wasn’t needed at that job anymore. It’s a 35 to 45 minute drive from my place to the plant. I’ve worked at a lot of regular jobs where new hires have just flaked out. At my current job we hired a new girl, had a start date, sent in pre-employment paperwork… and then disappeared. We never heard from her again. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778/60 "2005-12-09T15:51:50Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > How’s this for another bare minimum? After 7 months on a temp assignment, I take a message for our HR lady from another temp service telling her the person replacing me has accepted the assignment and will be there @ 9 am the next day. And that’s just how it was phrased, knew my name and everything. I don’t think the person on the phone was being cruel, I’m sure they thought I wanted to leave. I didn’t and thought everything was going along fine. (Turns out I had worked a half hour of overtime, and since this company doesn’t even pay their permanent employees for OT…zero tolerance.) Did the HR lady have any shame? She did not; that’s ‘just business’. That was the last temp assignment I accepted for a Japanese company. I found out I was no longer a deputy sheriff by hearing it on the 5:00 newscast on KLBJ radio. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-former-receptionist/333778.md?page=4)