# I pit my insane/incredibly stupid employee **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 31, 2011, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987 "2011-12-31T22:49:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/61 "2012-01-03T21:49:53Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > “You violently fought with him over the chicken coop” may be the funniest thing I’ve read all year. See, I mis-read it and thought it read, “You valiantly fought with him over the chicken coop”. Which gave me a chuckle or two. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/62 "2012-01-03T21:53:12Z")
With the bit about the bank fraud, I’d definitely keep a VERY close eye on the wife. Even without that, I would, because there’s strong evidence of, well, failing judgment. Does she have any fiscal responsiblities? Contracting responsiblities (as in, could issue contracts that might “benefit” her in any way)? anything else? ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/63 "2012-01-03T22:06:42Z")
She is spayed. She came in early today, we had a good conversation. The ground rules have been established. I called the bank, but didn’t get a very clear response. I’ll let it ride, but see above. She remarked that his ex wanted to meet her, give her a big hug. I laughed. Yeah, I bet she does. She thinks that all the dust will settle now, and get back to normal. That’d be great, but I doubt it. Still taking precautions. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/64 "2012-01-03T22:27:23Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > How about if you found out later\* they had screwed in your driveway at your house? Did you also find them driving in a parkway? ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/65 "2012-01-03T23:54:16Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > She thinks that all the dust will settle now, and get back to normal. “Normal” sounds circus-entertaining, with all the chicken wire and flammables. I eagerly await the next water-squirting daisy instalment… ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/66 "2012-01-04T00:17:11Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > Annnnnd it is now Facebook official, folks. > > What do you think I should get her as a wedding present? Shoes? Pants? More chickens? A bucket of water seems appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/67 "2012-01-04T01:15:48Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > “Normal” sounds circus-entertaining, with all the chicken wire and flammables. > > I eagerly await the next water-squirting daisy instalment… Not much today, except she was going commando because her ex-husband ‘shredded’ her underwear. How does one even do that? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/68 "2012-01-04T02:06:10Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > …ohgodPLEASEletthemusecondoms… Not just use them, but use the _correctly_… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/69 "2012-01-04T02:13:00Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > Not much today, except she was going commando because her ex-husband ‘shredded’ her underwear. > > How does one even do that? Foreplay. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/70 "2012-01-04T02:52:06Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Foreplay. With Edward Scissorhands? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/71 "2012-01-04T03:42:41Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > Not much today, except she was going commando because her ex-husband ‘shredded’ her underwear. > > How does one even do that? With the guy you describe, it wouldn’t surprise me if he did it on purpose. Maybe he has a commando fetish. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/72 "2012-01-04T10:07:58Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > Not much today, except she was going commando because her ex-husband ‘shredded’ her underwear. > > How does one even do that? Hmm… **fisha** , there is something seriously wrong with me eagerly awaiting the next water-squirting daisy instalment, and you telling me she’s going commando. There is something seriously wrong with her _telling_ you she’s going commando. There is something seriously wrong with her going commando because her _ex_-husband shredded her underwear; which leaves one to assume that it was all made of either paper, wheat, or coconut. Watch for a coconut shell bra. Then we’ll know exactly how her undies were shredded. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/73 "2012-01-04T11:13:53Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > She is spayed. Hallelujah! Is anybody taking notes for a movie? ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/74 "2012-01-04T13:34:45Z")
Maybe we could start casting the movie now. Russel Brand has been suggested but I think Nicholas Cage would be a better choice. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/75 "2012-01-04T14:04:43Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > … > There is something seriously wrong with her _telling_ you she’s going commando… :::snerk::: Yeah, this was my thinking as well. No matter how friendly people might be in an office, it’s quite difficult to imagine that your boss needs (or wants!) to know about your underwear status. Unless you’re a stripper or a call girl, that is, and I don’t get the impression that this is fisha’s line of work. The whole “male dominated industry” thing, dontcha know (had she said “male PATRONIZED”, that would be another story). ---
**Author:** ![Latro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a87d85/32.png) [@Latro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Latro)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/76 "2012-01-04T16:01:55Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > This shit was dumped on my doorstep-I didn’t ask for any of it, nor did I encourage it in any way, shape or form. So, he asked innocently, This all started when you hired a carpenter for his good looks instead of looking at his credentials? ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/77 "2012-01-04T16:16:12Z")
> [@Latro](#): > > So, he asked innocently, This all started when you hired a carpenter for his good looks instead of looking at his credentials? No, it was when he agreed to strip down, put on a tool belt, and sing “_It’s raining men._” during a staff meeting. ---
**Author:** ![Tess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@Tess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/78 "2012-01-04T16:18:48Z")
> [@Latro](#): > > So, he asked innocently, This all started when you hired a carpenter for his good looks instead of looking at his credentials? So now we’re supposed to judge people based on their accomplishments and past actions? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/79 "2012-01-04T16:26:50Z")
A 30 year old version of Jimmy Smits is close. [http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/\_6taR4paPQUo/SPEXsXzzH1I/AAAAAAAABWA/h2WrCWEuApg/s400/Jimmy-Smits-Biography.jpg&sa=X&ei=WHwET8moG4r00gHC0\_ypDA&ved=0CAsQ8wc4Ew&usg=AFQjCNGdmg33dQnBw2Riyyxxi2bIiSaRBQ](http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6taR4paPQUo/SPEXsXzzH1I/AAAAAAAABWA/h2WrCWEuApg/s400/Jimmy-Smits-Biography.jpg&sa=X&ei=WHwET8moG4r00gHC0_ypDA&ved=0CAsQ8wc4Ew&usg=AFQjCNGdmg33dQnBw2Riyyxxi2bIiSaRBQ) ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987/80 "2012-01-04T16:35:38Z")
Obviously these pics are not the actual characters to this trainwreck. She is about this level of pretty on an everyday basis. She can clean up better, and does have an engaging personality. Plus she is _tiny_ and men cannot seem to resist _tiny._ [http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.marieclaire.com/cm/realbeauty/images/yO/rb-long-wavy-hair-37-0809-de.jpg&sa=X&ei=RX4ET83NOYPf0QHgt5G6Ag&ved=0CAsQ8wc4LQ&usg=AFQjCNH\_DPTGgUjXMiwSMaX9UbJaZWcAFQ](http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.marieclaire.com/cm/realbeauty/images/yO/rb-long-wavy-hair-37-0809-de.jpg&sa=X&ei=RX4ET83NOYPf0QHgt5G6Ag&ved=0CAsQ8wc4LQ&usg=AFQjCNH_DPTGgUjXMiwSMaX9UbJaZWcAFQ) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-insane-incredibly-stupid-employee/607987.md?page=5)