I pit my Mom's turkey.

[TeaElle]

@Chefguy

Yeah, well my sister makes instant potatoes on T-Day! I even volunteered to peel and whip, but she says “Oh, these are fine. I can’t tell the difference.”

At least you had warning. As a kid, we always had Christmas with my Mom’s stepfather and his second wife. One year, when the wife wasn’t feeling well, the dinner was switched to her daughter’s house. As we all dug into the meal, we each took a bite to discover that she used Stove Top stuffing. Actually, not even Stove Top, but the store brand Stove Top knockoff.

We ate in silence that year.

[Bambi_Hassenpfeffer]

My mom’s firmly in the “bake it overnight” camp. Every year (until I had some say over the matter), we were served the desiccated husk of a former turkey. I had to pour some gravy into a bowl and make a little soup with the remnants of the turkey meat, which helped a little with the dryness issue. However, complaints fell on deaf ears, because, as Mother says, “TURKEY’S A DRY MEAT GODDAMN YOU THIS IS HOW MY MOTHER DID IT REST HER SOUL WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR FAMILY SO MUCH!?”

These days, we take it to Sonny’s (local BBQ restaurant) and have it smoked. $0.75 / pound, then toss it in the oven for a couple on T-Day to warm it up. Nothing better.

[NurseCarmen]

Our Thanksgiving spread included extra large glasses of milk. With plenty of refills.

[BiblioCat]

@butler1850

But, there is no roux, no corn starch slurry, but rather, 2 cans of Franco-American Turkey gravy from a can added to the drippings.

:eek: Ewww…
That’s beyond disgusting.

Your mom needs to be introduced to the wonder that is brining.
No more dry turkey, ever. Soak the turkey in a brine for about 6 hours, cook for a couple of hours (depending on its size) and you get a delicious, moist turkey. Even the leftovers are juicy.

My MIL used to make a horrible, bone-dry turkey, too. All her poultry was terribly dry. She’s just excuse it away by saying that’s how turkey and chicken are supposed to be. You (supposedly) had to cook it a long time to “get it done all the way through.”
When my husband and I started dating, he was suspicious of the chicken I’d make, thinking it wasn’t quite done - he was used to his mother’s chicken being tough and dry. Now he understands that it just needs to be cooked till it’s done, not bone-dry, and that chicken and turkey can be moist and delicious.

[BoBettie]

I keep picturing Christmas Vacation when they cut into the turkey and it explodes in a cloud of dust…lol

[butler1850]

Zette, we were afraid of exactly that situation. (Well, the cooking able in our family).

Though I’ve got to go back to the home town this evening, we will not be subject to the turkey again. Takeout has been ordered for my brother’s Eagle Scout Court of Honor. (THANK GOD!)

Dear woman, HORRIBLE cook. My wife didn’t believe all the horror stories about mom’s cooking when she married me, now she sees it’s all true, and is beginning to be amazed that I survived to adulthood.

[Padeye]

@Chefguy

Yeah, well my sister makes instant potatoes on T-Day! I even volunteered to peel and whip, but she says .

I don’t even know your sister and I pit her. Pit her straight to hell!!! Of course I pit you for whipped potatoes, a nearly equal abomination. I hate potatoes that have had all the texture whipped out of them. I like lumps but respect if others don’t but there are altenatives. If you don’t leave the skins on a potato ricer makes good mashed spuds. We also had really good results using a Kitchen Aid mixer with the standard beater attachment. Red potatoes are idea but Yukon Gold is best if you can get them.

[Eva_Luna]

@TeaElle

we each took a bite to discover that she used Stove Top stuffing.

You probably won’t believe this, but my sister actually prefers Stove Top. My mom made her usual delicious wild rice/mushroom/onion/slivered almond stuffing last night, and my sister was whining all through dinner because there was no Stove Top.

She likes canned jellied cranberry sauce, too, rather than Mom’s amazing homemade whole-berry relish.

[Podkayne]

Hee. The hubby and I busted out the instant mashed potatoes, this year, too. We didn’t have any guests who might object, and it’s one of those childhood comfort-food things. Culinarily speaking, we were raised by wolves. We’re trying to get better, but darn it, we loves them instant potatahs.

[Chefguy]

@Eva Luna

She likes canned jellied cranberry sauce, too, rather than Mom’s amazing homemade whole-berry relish.

My wife made the cranberry sauce out of high-bush and lowbush cranberries that we picked last summer, mixed with some currants from the farmers’ market. A little nutmeg and cognac for kick…mmmmmmmmmmmm

[LorieSmurf]

@ShibbOleth

My dad used a recipe from Cook’s Illustrated that called for about 2 hours at 400 F instead of the traditional 4 hours (more or less) at 350 F. Of course we did measure the temp, leg meat at 175 F and breast meat at 165 F. But the thing just didn’t look done. It wasn’t so much bloody, as it was a bit pinkish on the inside. No one seems to have contracted salmonella, so I guess we were okay. So, while I wouldn’t want the sawdust like turkey that you must have gotten after 12 hours at 325, I’m also wanting the white meat to look white and the dark meat to look dark. Pink is a good color for some women’s panties, not for turkey meat.

a little pink is fine for turkey meat. The temp is what counts, not the color:

is pink turkey meat safe?

[asterion]

@Chefguy

The way to get rid of ALL lumps in potatoes is to buy a ricer. Guaranteed to de-lump potatoes. Then whip as usual and you’ve got creamy, perfect spuds.

Was anyone else expecting this to be a suggestion to stick a potato up the tailpipe of a Honda Civic?

[Barbarian]

According to Harold McGee, brining’s a crock.

He’s the author of On Food and Cooking. Fabulous book for anyone who’s interested in why cooking works.

[ivylass]

@BiblioCat

Your mom needs to be introduced to the wonder that is brining.
No more dry turkey, ever. Soak the turkey in a brine for about 6 hours, cook for a couple of hours (depending on its size) and you get a delicious, moist turkey. Even the leftovers are juicy.

I did that this year. I think my MIL had some reservations (putting the turkey in a 5-gallon bucket in a salt bath for six hours?! Cooking it at 500 degrees for 30 minutes?! Then cooking it again for only two hours?) and I think she was secretly relieved there was also a ham.

But I kicked ass, everything got done at the same time and was nice and hot (roasted garlic, sour cream and chives in the mashed potatoes, garlic in the green bean casserole, two different gravies, one for the ham and one for the turkey) and the turkey was the juiciest I’ve ever made.

There was only one problem. No leftovers.

[Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow]

@Barbarian

According to Harold McGee, brining’s a crock.

He’s the author of On Food and Cooking. Fabulous book for anyone who’s interested in why cooking works.

I agree that OFAC is a fabulous book. Alton Brown references McGee with great frequency.

However, do note that McGee doesn’t quite say “brining’s a crock.”

@Harold McGee

For example, although brining the turkey is now part of the Thanksgiving ritual for many cooks, Mr. McGee does not do it. “The bird does become juicier, but it’s just absorbing tap water, not the true juices that make a bird flavorful,” he said. “And the drippings become so salty that you can’t use them.” He says that his own experiments with turkey, though far from complete, show that drying the bird out, rather than infusing it with water, is more likely to make it flavorful and juicy with crisp skin. He unwraps his turkey a day or two before cooking, letting it air-dry in the refrigerator, and then cooks it at high temperature.

He’s right about not being able to use the drippings, at least not without a little bit of additional kitchen chemistry. And maybe the juice isn’t as flavorful as it might be. But you do get a jucier bird.

So I’ll wait for McGee’s final conclusions before I give up the brine. I do know that brining’s made my turkeys better, and if there’s a better method that McGee can unlock, great, but brining for now is far superior than more traditional turkey cooking methods.

[AuntiePam]

The last two Thanksgivings, we’ve roasted the bird in an electric roaster oven. The turkey’s juicier, but the skin doesn’t brown. We’re fine with that. It’s a small trade-off to get a juicy bird. Cooking time (to 170 degrees) was about three and a half hours for a 16 pound bird.

Using the roaster also leaves the oven free for other things. There’s never enough oven space.

[Ferret_Herder]

As for brining, if it’s good enough for the folks at America’s Test Kitchen, it’s good enough for me.

[Guinastasia]

@Eva Luna

You probably won’t believe this, but my sister actually prefers Stove Top. My mom made her usual delicious wild rice/mushroom/onion/slivered almond stuffing last night, and my sister was whining all through dinner because there was no Stove Top.

I um, actually prefer Stove Top, or Butterball stuffing. I have no idea WHY I like it better, but for some reason, I do. Please don’t hit me!

[BiblioCat]

@Dewey Cheatem Undhow

However, do note that McGee doesn’t quite say “brining’s a crock.”
He’s right about not being able to use the drippings, at least not without a little bit of additional kitchen chemistry. And maybe the juice isn’t as flavorful as it might be. But you do get a jucier bird.

I’ve been brining for couple of years now, and have always used the drippings for gravy. You don’t use the brining liquid for anything else (it gets thrown out after brining), so I don’t see how the drippings would be too salty.
I don’t stuff my turkey, but I do stick fresh chopped garlic and onions and celery and a big handful of fresh rosemary and some real butter in the cavity. Makes the gravy quite tasty.
I add a pre-mixed slurry of cornstarch and milk to the drippings, bring it to a boil and stir like crazy till it thickens. Damn good gravy.

[ivylass]

@BiblioCat

I don’t stuff my turkey, but I do stick fresh chopped garlic and onions and celery and a big handful of fresh rosemary and some real butter in the cavity. Makes the gravy quite tasty.

I followed Alton’s recipe, which was steeping a sliced apple, a sliced onion, and a cinnamon stick in a cup of water, then putting them in the cavity with fresh rosemary and fresh sage leaves.

I also got a delicious gravy out of it.