# I pit my mother for making a scene about being a lousy tipper **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 12, 2006, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445 "2006-08-12T12:43:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/21 "2006-08-12T17:23:05Z")
I don’t particularly like North American-style tipping as a custom, but I’ll never understand stingy tippers. As long as service is reasonable, I’ll tip heavily and in cash… but I’ve gotten far more back in the form of staff discounts, extra toppings, custom orders, heavy pours, priority service, being let in after close, and even the occasional “this one’s on me” than I’ve ever paid out in tips, much less extra tips. If your mom had kicked in just another $2 per person, everything would’ve been normal. $3 per person and she probably would’ve seen some kind of benefit the next time she came there. C’mon, people. Servers make absolute crap for base pay and are taxed on the tips they’re presumed to make. It takes so little money to go from “oh god, not him again” to “hey, where ya been? we missed you!” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/22 "2006-08-12T17:28:33Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Well, I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking someone else to put down more of a tip. Maybe if he had the means, he could have got the ball rolling, but how can you say, “Hey, cheapskates, ante up!” if you don’t put any in yourself? [/QUOTE] Mom and Uncle Joe, atleast, discussed divvying up the check. I threw in Auntie Em as someone who should have been in on it, being among the parental generation of the diners. But we can throw out Auntie Em if you think best. The 10 bucks came from Mom, paid directly to the cook, as I read it. If that’s the case Uncle Joe didn’t leave a penny either, and he is an even better subject for pitting than Mom. Also, when we collect money to order lunch at work, it’s not uncommon for there to be a second round of collections if there isn’'t enogh for a decent tip. I have to agree that it’s particularly embarassing to be stuck in the company of cheapskates when you can’t afford to make up the difference yourself. BTW, **Lord Ashtar** , I assume you’ve eaten out with your mom before. Is this new behavior? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/23 "2006-08-12T17:40:40Z")
Chintzy tipping or stiffing is bad manners. _But_ so is mentioning it to the customer. A lot can be communicated by just a hangdog look or a very quiet puffing out of the lips _\_ - unless the customer is dense or arrogant, in which case you can’t win anyway. I got hit up by a lovely but inexperienced Albanian coat check girl once after a $1 tip she thought ought to be $2. “Hey. It’s $1 per _item._” She got her extra $1 and a hard glare. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/24 "2006-08-12T18:00:25Z")
I never accompany my parents to a restaurant without making sure I’ve got some cash to leave surreptitiously under a plate. In my case it’s Dad, not Mom, and it can get just as loud and tacky if he feels I’m calling him cheap. He _is_ cheap, of course, and has never worked in any type of service job, so I just carry cash and a good time is had by all. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Swan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Swan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Swan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/25 "2006-08-12T18:38:20Z")
[QUOTE=Euthanasiast] Since when does anyone _owe_ anyone a fucking tip? When did it become a guaranteed thing? You are _lucky_ to get a tip. I am not _obligated_ to pay you a tip. It is _gift_ for a service and it is up to the tipper to decide. I know it is the social _norm_ but that doesn’t make it _mandatory_, because then it is no longer a _tip_. Personally, I tip very well, at least 20% but usually more. However the day where a manager comes to me like it was part of the fucking bill that I owe is the day I grow a fist out of my asshole and punch my mother with it. I don’t _owe_ you shit other than what the bill dictates. [/QUOTE] Then get the fuck out and don’t come back. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Swan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Swan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Swan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/26 "2006-08-12T18:44:47Z")
[QUOTE=CarnalK] You might want to omit this part of the business plan when going for your startup loan. [/QUOTE] Riiiight. Because banks LOVE to give startup loans to potential restaurant owners. That isn’t how it works. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Swan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Swan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Swan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/27 "2006-08-12T18:50:10Z")
From The Vortex Bar and Grill in Atlanta, Georgia (Extremely popular restaurants): > [@](#): > > **Tip or Die** > > An 18% gratuity may be added to parties of 6 or more. If you think that tipping is a scam, then buy yourself a TV dinner, stay at home and watch wrestling. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/28 "2006-08-12T19:02:51Z")
Try out my dad sometime. He thinks $1 per customer at the table is what you should tip. Doesn’t matter where you are what you ordered or anything else. $1 per person is it. I always have to throw the extra down on the table to make up for it when we go out he pouts and grouches about how the service ‘wasn’t worth that much’ etc etc but it’s easiest just to ignore him. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/29 "2006-08-12T19:21:33Z")
Tipping is always a crapshoot. There will always be bad tippers. If you can’t deal with a bad tipper better than this manager did, then you have no business managing a restaurant. Mom, for all of her faults, did in fact leave a tip. Maybe it should have been $20 instead of $10, whoopdefuckindoo. You’re going to piss off a customer and make a big scene over ten bucks? There’s a balance to be had between standing up for your employees, who do all the work, and being an ass to the customers, who keep your doors open. Once it was determined that a tip was left, that’s the time to back off. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/30 "2006-08-12T19:28:50Z")
Just out of curiosity, how many of those of you who see tipping as “optional” or a “gift” voted for Bush? ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/31 "2006-08-12T19:59:06Z")
[QUOTE=The Swan] People who are not willing to tip something APPROACHING 15% (assuming that the service was satisfactory) would be told that they are unwelcome in my restaurant. I do not currently own one, but used to manage more than one. Tipping for adequate service would damn well be mandatory. Anyone who thinks they have the right to be served without following social norms could eat elsewhere. [/QUOTE] Damn! You mean you mean you can have an unspoken/unwritten expectation of customers to pay 15% more than the quoted price of their meal, then blame THEM when they balk at it? Of course, it’s pretty damn convenient for restaurants that they can underpay their waitstaff and blame _customers_ for being cheap. Or did all your waiters make the U.S. average of around $27k a year _before_ tips? ---
**Author:** ![Stillsmiling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Stillsmiling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stillsmiling)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/32 "2006-08-12T20:05:43Z")
[QUOTE=DanBlather] Just out of curiosity, how many of those of you who see tipping as “optional” or a “gift” voted for Bush? [/QUOTE] 😕 I’m not the man’s biggest fan, but I don’t see where he has anything to do with people who don’t like the tipping system in the US or even with tip-credit wages for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/33 "2006-08-12T20:29:53Z")
[QUOTE=The Swan] Then get the fuck out and don’t come back. [/QUOTE] Nice. Do the world a favor, fuckstain, and work in an industry where the public isn’t exposed to you and the goddamned tweety birds flying around your head. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/34 "2006-08-12T21:35:08Z")
[QUOTE=DanBlather] Just out of curiosity, how many of those of you who see tipping as “optional” or a “gift” voted for Bush? [/QUOTE] I don’t see it as optional. I see it as an indicator of service. I have tipped both well and poorly, and on occassion, I have gone to a manager to tell them how impressed I was with the server. I voted for Bush. Your point? ---
**Author:** ![Caridwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@Caridwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caridwen)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/35 "2006-08-12T21:49:56Z")
[QUOTE=monstro] There’s something about mothers–especially older mothers–and restaurants. My mother is normally a very pleasant person, but an ugly side often comes out of her when we go out to eat. So I sympathize. [/QUOTE] So true. Maybe they get a little jealous and compare it to their own food? The whole time my Mother is in a restaurant she talks about how much better her food is (It’s not). Lord Ashtar, it shows what a nice guy you are by worring about it. Yikes! I would have been embarrased too. Tips definitely are a crapshoot. While women are sort of known for not being the greatest tippers, that’s definitely not the case. From my old bartending days I know that some of the people you assume won’t tip well, do. The only people who I found to be poor/non tippers were people from outside the U.S. and I guess they were following their own customs of either having the tip included or not tipping at all in their country. Since they were for the most part extremely nice people, I knew it wasn’t anything personal about my service, so it didn’t particularly bother me. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Swan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Swan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Swan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/36 "2006-08-12T22:24:52Z")
[QUOTE=Euthanasiast] Nice. Do the world a favor, fuckstain, and work in an industry where the public isn’t exposed to you and the goddamned tweety birds flying around your head. [/QUOTE] Nice. Tweaty birds? Did you not read the section of the menu I posted? Do you think they were seeing “godamned tweety birds” as they established themselves as a local institution?? You have no leg to stand on. The owner of the establishment has the option to serve you food, just as you have the option not to leave a tip. It works both ways. Quite frankly, I have had no problem in the past pissing off a customer if I know that they refuse to tip good service. If it’s 10% or 12%, fine. And don’t give me this bullshit about adding 15% to the price of the food. That confuses (and has the potential for pissing off) the general public more than anything. Though I don’t believe tipping to be optional FOR GOOD SERVICE, I do believe the amount to be, within reason. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Swan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Swan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Swan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/37 "2006-08-12T22:26:51Z")
[QUOTE=Euthanasiast] Since when does anyone _owe_ anyone a fucking tip? . [/QUOTE] Sijnce when does anyone _owe_ you a fucking meal?? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Swan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Swan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Swan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/38 "2006-08-12T22:33:45Z")
[QUOTE=Lizard] Damn! You mean you mean you can have an unspoken/unwritten expectation of customers to pay 15% more than the quoted price of their meal, then blame THEM when they balk at it? [/QUOTE] No, only if the service is good. Why does everyone keep ignoring that part of my argument?? > [@](#): > > Of course, it’s pretty damn convenient for restaurants that they can underpay their waitstaff and blame _customers_ for being cheap. Or did all your waiters make the U.S. average of around $27k a year _before_ tips? Bullshit. The customer pays for it regardless. They either do so as gratuity, or in increased food prices. At least with gratuity, the quality of service is rewarded accordingly, which is why owners & customers both tend to like the arrangement. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/39 "2006-08-12T22:46:26Z")
[QUOTE=Cheesesteak] There’s a balance to be had between standing up for your employees, who do all the work, and being an ass to the customers, who keep your doors open. Once it was determined that a tip was left, that’s the time to back off. [/QUOTE] What keeps your doors open is going to be consistent good service and food. If a customer stiffs a waiter/waitress and you don’t have their back, you will end up with pissy employees who you have let the customer shit on for no good reason. Customer status is not the end all be all of power in the universe, if you are being an asshole with your chinzy tipping, you are hurting the business by upsetting/pissing off the staff. Upset and or pissed off staff will have a far greater impact on many customers than calling a cheap bitch on her poor tipping habits. Some customers are liabilities…this sounds like one of them. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Swan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Swan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Swan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445/40 "2006-08-12T23:02:21Z")
[QUOTE=Euthanasiast] Nice. [/QUOTE] HEY, you live on St. SImons!! I got married in your neck of the woods. Only on the Dope can one duke it out with an anonymous person who lives just down the road. Tell you what, my wife and I get down there every couple of months or so. Next time I’m in town, I’ll call you up and you can kick me in the nuts. 😉 Deal?? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-mother-for-making-a-scene-about-being-a-lousy-tipper/368445.md?page=3)