# I pit my neighbors with the rage of a thousand burning garages! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 11, 2006, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236 "2006-09-11T02:18:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cowgirl\_Jules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Cowgirl\_Jules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowgirl_Jules)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/21 "2006-09-12T16:00:14Z")
[QUOTE=Tripler] Ladies, I must ask: would swoonage occured if I were sweaty and bloody? (Hockey) [/QUOTE] Oh, yes. Men doing anything physical well is swoonworthy. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/22 "2006-09-12T16:27:54Z")
Ladies - before y’all are too overcome with lust, please note this part of the story (bolding mine): [QUOTE=Tripler] In the flash of an instant, I look at my girlfriend and say, “Sh\*t, this ain’t good. The damned house could be on fire. I’ll go check it out, **stay here**!” [/QUOTE] Yes, if this man fears his house is burning, he will leave you inside while he runs away. **Sean** - who can also power-install fixtures, but won’t leave you to be tinder. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/23 "2006-09-12T18:11:21Z")
Rather than going for the time-intensive drill and driver to install blinds, I’d have gone with old sheet and hammer tacker- _bam, bam, bam, bam_ and then return to the aforementioned damsel. I’d also have a word with Mr. Neighborly-if I don’t answer the door, I’m getting booty or I’m dead. Should mail pile up, assume the latter. _Never_ interrupt booty. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AngryIrishLass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@AngryIrishLass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngryIrishLass)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/24 "2006-09-12T18:20:37Z")
I just don’t think the old sheet and tacks trick would have effected quite the same response from said damsel, especially if in the process you broke out in a sweat. And yeah, swoonage. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/25 "2006-09-12T21:47:36Z")
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum] Ladies - before y’all are too overcome with lust, please note this part of the story (bolding mine): Yes, if this man fears his house is burning, he will leave you inside while he runs away. [/QUOTE] C’mon now, I’m not that kind of guy! I’m a gentleman. I would immediately run back to the aforementioned damsel and say, “Babe, put your clothes on right now, and _get the hell outta my house_!” Given the situation, if that doesn’t signal extreme duress to the lady, then maybe I ought not be dating her. Tripler Trust me, if she’s going to be kindling, it’s by my own wood. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/26 "2006-09-12T22:34:06Z")
Nah. When she says, “Do you smell somethin’ burnin’?”, your reply should be, “yeah, it’s us!” ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/27 "2006-09-12T23:37:04Z")
[QUOTE=Tripler] Trust me, if she’s going to be kindling, it’s by my own wood. [/QUOTE] _snort_ That’s the best euphemism I’ve heard all day; I think I will rip it off. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/28 "2006-09-12T23:47:45Z")
“I don’t know, silly boy! I’ve never kindled!” ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/29 "2006-09-13T02:22:50Z")
Os got laid! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/30 "2006-09-13T02:55:25Z")
[QUOTE=Velma] Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. Please advise how best to get lengthier jobs completed, specifically, trim work leftover from installing a pergo floor. [/QUOTE] Offer him tit for dat. Er, tat. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/31 "2006-09-13T22:01:56Z")
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth] Os got laid! :eek: [/QUOTE] Well, for my next miracle, I’m debating whether I should walk on water, or just do a couple of card tricks a la Father Guido Sarducci. Tripler And the water will be liquid. We all know I can skate. . . ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/32 "2006-09-14T00:46:26Z")
[QUOTE=nonacetone] _Ladies, I must ask: would swoonage occured if I were sweaty and bloody? (Hockey)_ Yeah, especially if you were wearing the jersey AND the skates. [/QUOTE] My husband coaches baseball. In full uniform. MMM-mm, those are some tight pants. Oh, yeah. The OP. Got distracted there for a bit…Insistent pounding, front and back doors. For no good reason. I think I’d be a lot less polite than you were. ---
**Author:** ![Shrinking\_Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Shrinking\_Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shrinking_Violet)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2006, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/33 "2006-09-14T11:54:27Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] My husband coaches baseball. In full uniform. MMM-mm, those are some tight pants. Oh, yeah. The OP. Got distracted there for a bit…Insistent pounding, front and back doors. \*\* … SV’s paragraph break …\*\* For no good reason. I think I’d be a lot less polite than you were. [/QUOTE] Prefer my version. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2006, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/34 "2006-09-14T12:45:53Z")
[QUOTE=Tripler] Ladies, I must ask: would swoonage occured if I were sweaty and bloody? (Hockey) [/QUOTE] Is that with or without a goalie mask? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2006, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/35 "2006-09-14T13:08:53Z")
I like the LOOK of sweat and sawdust–I just don’t like the abrasions the sawdust gives me and frankly, man-sweat smells bad. I think (if this had been me, waiting in bed to be burned to a crisp), I would have been more turned on by the determination and decisiveness-I like a man in motivated motion… As for the neighbors-what jerks! Don’t you feel like every single one of them is living vicariously through you? Can you move? (only half joking). When they show up with lame excuses, like need a cup of sugar or that limb on the oak tree looks iffy–and this only occurs when said GF is over-you’ll know them for the Peeping Toms they are. That whole thing just creeps me out–how dare they peek in your window? WTH? What is wrong with people? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/36 "2006-09-14T19:58:35Z")
[QUOTE=Tripler] Trust me, if she’s going to be kindling, it’s by my own wood. [/QUOTE] Very good. I love this. Add me to the pile of adoring females. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/37 "2006-09-15T02:15:02Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] As for the neighbors-what jerks! Don’t you feel like every single one of them is living vicariously through you? Can you move? (only half joking). When they show up with lame excuses, like need a cup of sugar or that limb on the oak tree looks iffy–and this only occurs when said GF is over-you’ll know them for the Peeping Toms they are. [/QUOTE] Unfortunately, no, I can’t move. But rest assured, I’m not going to let them live their intrusion down. As for them trying to live vicariously through me, I don’t think that’s the case. I figure that since they’re retired military, and I’m active, they figured it’d be okay to keep banging on the door. . . but I think I’ve kinda made it clear to “Bud” that yeah, I was a little . . . predisposed. :mad: Yep, I’ve spoken with them since and while we’ve joked about it, I kept that “pissed off” tone with 'em. We’ll see how it works out. I think they get the picture though. . . Tripler Still torqued, but I took a shower since then–no more sawdust. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/38 "2006-09-15T02:48:43Z")
You mean indisposed…(I hope) hope it works out. How is your lady friend with all of this? ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2006, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/39 "2006-09-25T11:34:40Z")
Before the DopeNic next weekend, be sure to let your GF know that the Dopers aren’t like your neighbors! Not that we’d quietly watch or anything…you know what I’m saying!! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2006, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236/40 "2006-09-25T13:06:40Z")
[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka] Before the DopeNic next weekend, be sure to let your GF know that the Dopers aren’t like your neighbors! Not that we’d quietly watch or anything…you know what I’m saying!! [/QUOTE] Yeah, you know what just popped into my head? “If it turned out that my neighbors were Dopers, that’d be über-creepy.” Tripler Strangely, I thought I saw Rod Serling on the side of the road this morning. . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-neighbors-with-the-rage-of-a-thousand-burning-garages/372236.md?page=3)