# I pit my parents. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 3, 2007, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403 "2007-03-03T06:03:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/61 "2007-03-04T01:08:04Z")
[QUOTE=alphaboi867] Permanent? Did the college expell you or are you unable to pay tuition without your parent’s help? How did a phone a phone call from the parents of a legal adult result in you being placed on leave :dubious: ? Please go into more detail on how that happened. [/QUOTE] Wasn’t permanent. That was a mistake. It’s only for this year. I can go back next Fall. It happened just like I said. My parents called the dean and explained I was an alcoholic. The dean believed them, no questions asked, and put me on medical leave. The dean never consulted me or got a doctor’s opinion first. It’s a private school. I am legal adult, true, but apparently I have no rights in this situation, according to the Boston College bylaws. I could have appealed, but it would have taken time and possibly money. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/62 "2007-03-04T01:11:50Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] If it’s happening to you regularly, you must be either mixing it with pills or consuming heroic amounts—either way, be careful. [/QUOTE] To quote Grandpa Simpson: “A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.” This will probably start a huge flame-fest but I take a medium dosage of the SSRI drug Celexa, to treat anxiety/depression. I’m not a doctor, but before I started taking this medicine a few years ago, I never blacked out or lost my memory, even though I drank the same Herculean amount. So yeah, I’m a fucking moron. You can see the thread about it in MPSIMS. And to all the pricks who keep telling me to leave this board and get a blog, well I just remembered I actually have a blog-like place I post to. This place ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/63 "2007-03-04T01:16:13Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] **Autolycus** , I appreciate your openness and the amount of self-examination that you’ve brought to this thread so far. But a few things stand out in what you’ve written. . . . [/QUOTE] If all people behaved with the civility you possess **Qadgop** , then the SMDB would have no need for The Pit. I think of all the people who’ve posted advice here, yours is the first one that has given me true cause for concern, and prompted some serious self-reflection. Catch more barflies with honey, etc. Well, maybe that’s not entirely true. Some other people’s comments have been very helpful to me too. I guess what I’m saying is that yours stood out extra to me. As for why not many people’s posts get through to me, that’s probably because I’m a belligerent asshole and I dont respond well to criticism. That’s totally unrelated to the drinking. Dont think I’m being hard on myself, either. I have lots of great attributes too. (I’m great in the sack? In any case, my next drink is a toast to you. Haha, I keed, I keed. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/64 "2007-03-04T01:50:40Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] I think of all the people who’ve posted advice here, yours is the first one that has given me true cause for concern, and prompted some serious self-reflection. [/QUOTE] Glad to be a speed bump in your expressway of life! No charge. Years ago I realized that alcohol and drugs were becoming the de facto first priorities of my life, despite my protestations to the contrary. My use of them derailed career plans, family happiness, financial stability, and eventually my much (over)prized intellect. I learned a lot from that on-going, hellacious 7 year trainwreck, and got back better than I had pissed away. But I had to change. BTW, speaking from the professional standpoint: Mixing SSRIs with small amounts of alcohol: Risky. :dubious: Mixing SSRIs with medium amounts of alcohol: More bad outcomes than good ones. ☹ Mixing SSRIs with large amounts of alcohol: Cacafuego!!! :eek: :eek: PM or email me if you like. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/65 "2007-03-04T01:54:38Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] Mixing SSRIs with large amounts of alcohol: Cacafuego!!! :eek: :eek: PM or email me if you like. [/QUOTE] :eek: Can you describe in more detail this ‘Cacafuego’ :eek: Because, I think I fit that level three description more often than not! We can talk here or in PM, either way is fine. This thread is already no longer about my parents :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/66 "2007-03-04T02:16:17Z")
SSRIs boost alcohol’s effect on a person, not just the ‘drunken’ state (getting more drunk on the same amount of alcohol) but also by increasing the depressant effect of alcohol. Overdosing becomes more of a possibility, & blood levels of alcohol can go up more on the same amount of booze. Folks frequently get intoxicated faster (with the resultant loss of good judgement earlier in the course of drinking.) Alcohol makes the SSRI less effective, reducing its ability to inhibit serotonin reuptake (and hence making it less able to combat depression). Lately, the rate of people dying (apparently inadvertently) with the combo of SSRIs and alcohol in their system has been increasing much faster than the rate of them dying with just alcohol in their system. Many physicians are now choosing to not give anti-depressants to patients known to be drinking heavily, due to fears of increased risk of bad outcomes. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/67 "2007-03-04T02:33:23Z")
So what you’re saying is that, if I go off my SSRI, I can drink more? 😛 If the smiley was not indication enough, then here I re-iterate I have no intent of going off my meds ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/68 "2007-03-04T03:19:30Z")
I tell my patients it is better to drink less, and best to drink not at all, while on antidepressants. ---
**Author:** ![Caridwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@Caridwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caridwen)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/69 "2007-03-04T03:38:43Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] If all people behaved with the civility you possess **Qadgop** , then the SMDB would have no need for The Pit. I think of all the people who’ve posted advice here, yours is the first one that has given me true cause for concern, and prompted some serious self-reflection. Catch more barflies with honey, etc. Well, maybe that’s not entirely true. Some other people’s comments have been very helpful to me too. I guess what I’m saying is that yours stood out extra to me. As for why not many people’s posts get through to me, that’s probably because I’m a belligerent asshole and I dont respond well to criticism. That’s totally unrelated to the drinking. Dont think I’m being hard on myself, either. I have lots of great attributes too. (I’m great in the sack? In any case, my next drink is a toast to you. Haha, I keed, I keed. [/QUOTE] FWIW, I don’t think your a beligerent asshole at all. I do wish you the best and listen to Qadgop! ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/70 "2007-03-04T03:55:48Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] I tell my patients it is better to drink less, and best to drink not at all, while on antidepressants. [/QUOTE] Hmm, pruno & prozac. It even sounds like a cocktail 😃 . ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/71 "2007-03-04T04:23:33Z")
**Autolycus** , mixing SSRI’s with alcohol was one of the first things my shrink warned me about. At that time I was taking only Prozac. Now I also take Celexa. He also said that alcohol defeats the purpose of taking the medication because it is a depressant. I remember what it’s like to be twenty-three and stuck at home with a parent that drove me nuts. My parents were locally powerful people. If I had struck out on my own, they would have had me committed to a hospital. My father loved me very much and was afraid that I would take my own life. Depression may be undermining your ability to get yourself together right now. Don’t sink your chances for regaining control. You aren’t a college kid anymore, **Auto**. You’re a young man who needs to finish college and go on a few adventures with a slightly wicked friend in an iffy car. Then write wildly funny stories about it. You’re good! ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/72 "2007-03-04T04:24:52Z")
Well, I am very happy to see that this hasn’t turned into the train-wreck I thought it might be. **Auto** , I worried early on that this would end bad because even though you were ranting at your parents, your parents were never the ones who could answer to any criticism. You have the SDMB account (and thank goodness for that, I love your posts), so you’re the only one who can answer the skeptical and mean-spirited questions that might come. Everyone on this board can tell you the best advice to follow to imrove your life. Because it’s really easy to to tell you what to do, but it’s so much harder to actually do it. I only wonder, have you explored the idea of finding a school and job in Florida? Rather than wait until you can come back to Boston? PS: I’ll buy you a whiskey any day in Boston, and only tease you minimally about your girly drink. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/73 "2007-03-04T04:28:34Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] so you’re the only one who can answer the skeptical and mean-spirited questions that might come. [/QUOTE] I’d also like to add “helpfull”, and “concerned” to the list of questions that might come up. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/74 "2007-03-04T04:34:11Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] Well, I am very happy to see that this hasn’t turned into the train-wreck I thought it might be. [/QUOTE] You and me both, baby. [QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] I only wonder, have you explored the idea of finding a school and job in Florida? Rather than wait until you can come back to Boston? PS: I’ll buy you a whiskey any day in Boston, and only tease you minimally about your girly drink. [/QUOTE] No dice. There are no schools near Orlando that compare to BC. Also, BC is supremely anal about transferring credits, so I’m liable to lose yet another year off my timetable. I’m holding you to that drink promise. I’ll try the whiskey too, but only if I can chug my blue lagoon first 😉 ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/75 "2007-03-04T04:47:05Z")
Just to back up what Qadgop said: from the [manufacturer’s website](http://www.celexa.com/Celexa/faq.aspx) > [@](#): > > **Can I have alcoholic beverages while taking Celexa?** > > As with many other medications, you should avoid drinking alcoholic beverages while being treated with Celexa. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/76 "2007-03-04T07:07:04Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] And to all the pricks who keep telling me to leave this board and get a blog, well I just remembered I actually have a blog-like place I post to. This place [/QUOTE] I think you missed the point. We don’t want you to leave the board. We want more! We want regular blog-like updates, in english please. Fwiw, I’ve shown some alcoholic tendancies the past few years. The trick I’ve found is to budget for the booze. Every semester (or 4 months, whatever), I spend $50 on liquor. One bottle of Jameson or 5 bottles of cheap vodka, when the money is gone I don’t drink until the next semester. So far it’s a fairly good system. It works out to getting really drunk maybe once every other week on my day off, which I plan ahead for so it doesn’t disrupt anything else in my life. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/77 "2007-03-04T13:11:48Z")
Typically the “get a blog” comments come out when someone just wants to bitch but doesn’t want to take any justified criticism/questioning coming back at them. In other words, if all someone can take is sympathetic or positive commentary, then posting to the SDMB isn’t the wisest of moves, versus a blog which only your friends would most likely be reading. I’m glad to see that this hasn’t turned out to be the case here. Our esteemed **QtM** knows of what he speaks, so I’m glad that struck a chord with you. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/78 "2007-03-04T14:28:20Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] You and me both, baby. No dice. There are no schools near Orlando that compare to BC. Also, BC is supremely anal about transferring credits, so I’m liable to lose yet another year off my timetable. I’m holding you to that drink promise. I’ll try the whiskey too, but only if I can chug my blue lagoon first 😉 [/QUOTE] BC isn’t the college you are worried about - you just need them to send a transcript. Your new college would decide what to accept and not accept off the transcript. There may be some questions at your new college (does “18th Century Mores and Values” really qualify as an ethics class?) that they will want a syllabus or at least a catalog description for. But its Boston College, you aren’t going to have a really hard time getting other schools to accept their credits. If BC isn’t sending transcripts out, they have a lot to answer for. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/79 "2007-03-04T14:51:59Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] No dice. There are no schools near Orlando that compare to BC. Also, BC is supremely anal about transferring credits, so I’m liable to lose yet another year off my timetable. [/QUOTE] First, what **Dangerosa** said. The new college is the one that you have to worry about accepting transfer credits–BC doesn’t have a say in that. However, if your issue is that you really want to attend BC only, and that’s where you want to graduate from, that’s fine as well. The problem I see here is you have an excuse why everything you do is okay–not a reason, an excuse. I would prefer if you would state things in a way that shows you realize that many of the roadblocks in your way are ones that you are putting there. For instance, if completing college was your prime motivator, you’d find a different college. Instead it seems your motivator is to graduate from BC. Okay, that fine. But the roadblock to your finishing college is all yours–your desire to complete at BC even though you have gotten yourself in a pickle up there. And you have to stop drinking while taking your meds. Everyone else is being nice to you here, but fuck that. Stop drinking now! No more drinking until you aren’t taking meds. Drinking while being clinically depressed and having an axienty order is completely contra-indicated. Stop right fucking now. Do not drink again until you have your mental health in order. If that is never, then drinking will not be in your future. Deal with it. You are an adult now, boyo, and you have to accept that you can’t just do what you want–there are big picture consequences out there. Lots of people don’t ever get to drink for various reasons and they survive just fine. You can find some other hobby. I enjoy your posts and would prefer that you stay around long enough for me to continue to enjoy them. If you continue to drink–at all–that is not likely to be in our future, **Auto** , and I would miss you. Please consider whether drinking is really that important to you–more important than your life. Because that is what’s in the balance here. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2007, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403/80 "2007-03-04T15:16:11Z")
I see you as being part of an unhealthy family dynamic, and I don’t think it’s going to change until you break free from your parents. The hell with the degree, the school, whatever: You need your own path, and it doesn’t _have_ to be this or that, just YOURS. I read you as extremely likable, but in your OP you’re displaying, you’re demonstrating **_exactly the same behaviors for which you’re criticizing your parents_.** And that’s not so bad, at 23 - shit, plenty of people are _still_ carbon copies of their parents at 53. Being an only child undoubtedly makes it challenging - you don’t have a sibling to roll eyes with, to say “can you believe this shit Mom and Dad are shoveling?” I think you’re writing about this here in hopes of hearing that yes, you’re right, they’re fucked up - and you know what, I DO think you’re right. I believe you. Don’t wait for your parents to admit they’re wrong and validate your conclusions and observations, though, because they won’t do it. You may see it in their lives 10 or 20 years down the road - they’re changing, too, and when they no longer have YOU and your problems to focus on, the dynamic will shift greatly. Right now, though, it’s your turn to go out into the world and make your OWN choices. You may have to give up BC to do it, but everything has its cost. It’s scary – who will you be, once you quit being Their Angry, Overprotected Son – but the answer is worth finding. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-parents/394403.md?page=5)