# I pit my religious upbringing for the sexual damage it's caused **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 14, 2012, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-religious-upbringing-for-the-sexual-damage-its-caused/643981 "2012-12-14T01:18:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2016, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-religious-upbringing-for-the-sexual-damage-its-caused/643981/101 "2016-06-05T04:06:21Z")
> [@oft\_wears\_hats](#): > > Just popped in to endorse this pitting. Whether sexual repression has an empirical link to vaginismus or not, it doesn’t change the fact that repression causes way more problems than it solves. It also doesn’t change the fact that the OP’s suffering is real. I hope you’re doing well, **Wind**. > > Some quick resources (spoiler-boxed due to NSFW): > > [SPOILER][Laci Green](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0SXaoZobd8) does a good video on painful sex. > > Second spoiler tag, since Erika Moen’s site is very NSFW:[Oh Joy Sex Toy on Vaginismus](http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/vaginismus/)[/SPOILER] > I was going to reply to this, but Bam Boo Gut ninja’d me by three years: > > I’m no fan of circumcision, but it’s not comparable to vaginismus. I’m sure you meant no harm, **kanicbird** , but bringing it up here is crass and detracts from the OP’s suffering. Yeah. …not in the same ball park. Pain upon penetration vs possibly reduced pleasure? Not the same. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2016, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-religious-upbringing-for-the-sexual-damage-its-caused/643981/102 "2016-06-05T04:19:24Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > Yeah. …not in the same ball park. Pain upon penetration vs possibly reduced pleasure? Not the same. I do hope t the OP has sorted out her issue - or at least made progress on it! ---
**Author:** ![oft\_wears\_hats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@oft\_wears\_hats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oft_wears_hats)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2016, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-religious-upbringing-for-the-sexual-damage-its-caused/643981/103 "2016-06-05T13:51:43Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > Yeah. …not in the same ball park. Pain upon penetration vs possibly reduced pleasure? Not the same. It’s even worse than that: [NIH](https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001487.htm): [QUOTE=NIH] The main symptoms are: Difficult or painful vaginal penetration during sex. **Vaginal penetration may not be possible.** Vaginal pain during sexual intercourse or a pelvic exam [/QUOTE] Vaginismus can range from mild to severe, and the severe end sounds like no fun at all. [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus): [QUOTE=Wikipedia] Pacik expanded the Lamont classification to include a fifth degree in which the patient experiences a visceral reaction such as sweating, hyperventilation, palpitations, trembling, shaking, nausea, **vomiting, losing consciousness, wanting to jump off the table, or attacking the doctor.** [/QUOTE] **Bolding mine.** I don’t think I’d be nearing those last reactions unless a doctor was attempting to give me an unwanted circumcision with no anesthetic. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2016, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-religious-upbringing-for-the-sexual-damage-its-caused/643981/104 "2016-06-05T17:54:08Z")
Hey. Since there was a request for an update, I thought I’d pop in. Though now that I’m here, I’m struggling to think of what to say. A little less than a year, I decided to do some writing about my sexuality, and I was amazed at the repressed memories that came spilling out. It was a beautiful thing. I cried, of course, but I think there’s something beautiful about remembering painful memories, because your mind has repressed them until a time when you feel able to mentally cope with them, and I was finally able to mentally cope with them. Which isn’t to say that I’m “special,” “traumatized,” or anything like that. Everyone has things in their past that they’re still dealing with. I feel strong enough to face these issues, and that is empowering. I am doing a lot of writing, trying to reframe in my mind the meaning and significance of sex, and I have been exploring different methods of leading up to the act in such a way that I don’t associate sex with any negative connotations. I am having sex regularly. It does not hurt as often as it used to, and when it does hurt, I am growing more comfortable with speaking up and saying we have to stop. I am also learning to recognize when I really don’t want to have sex, and when I’m just nervous that things won’t go well. If I really don’t want it, I will say so, but if I’m nervous, I will recognize that nervousness but not cede control to it. To summarize: I think an awful lot of people have some emotional baggage when it comes to sex. I certainly do. I’m still working through it, which means that this isn’t entirely a happy ending. But I’m on the right track. And thank you everyone for your support! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-religious-upbringing-for-the-sexual-damage-its-caused/643981.md?page=5)