# I Pit My Roommate-With-Benefits, or; Please Give Me Relationship Advice **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 8, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481 "2007-09-08T18:35:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/101 "2007-09-11T15:30:43Z")
I think it’s important at this point that OP tell us exactly what this “banter” entailed. We’re just taking shots in the dark here. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/102 "2007-09-11T15:37:01Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] I think it’s important at this point that OP tell us exactly what this “banter” entailed. We’re just taking shots in the dark here. [/QUOTE] Probably something like: “Top hole. Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how’s your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper’s and caught his can in the Bertie.” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/103 "2007-09-11T15:44:47Z")
I’m just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower. ---
**Author:** ![pantheon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6bbea6/32.png) [@pantheon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantheon)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2007, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/104 "2007-09-11T19:00:52Z")
[QUOTE=muldoonthief] Probably something like: “Top hole. Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how’s your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper’s and caught his can in the Bertie.” [/QUOTE] Maybe it’s just sleep dep, mid-afternoon lack of caffeine and nicotine, but this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read on the dope. Somehwhere between EvilCaptor’s “BTW…bondage.” (for punch-per-word/brevity) and Scylla’s evil blimp (for crescendoing giggles). I have a little tear in my eye now; thanks for that gem. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2007, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/105 "2007-09-12T00:10:09Z")
Unless it was something definite, like, “Impale my ass with your giant fucking pole, you delicious bastard!” I don’t know if we can really say what exactly transpired. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2007, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/106 "2007-09-12T16:55:38Z")
Two things suggest themselves here , One shes winding you up (Im not sure what the american term for that is) maybe doing a little bit of overacting,faking it to get a rise out of you or to make you jealous OR sending you a message that just because your now housemates dont start getting heavy with her and thinking that your an exclusive item all of a sudden. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/107 "2007-09-13T14:44:03Z")
My opinion? You’re the safety guy. She is in a great position here, having her cake and eating it too. You are around as the backup boyfriend, but she is allowed to play the field as much as she wants. If someone better comes along you will move down a notch to just friends with no more benefits. She apologized to you to appease you, to keep you around. You appear to be more into her than she is into you, and she knows it. Not to say she doesn’t care for you at all, just that she definitely has the upper hand here. I think it’s time for everybody to be up front about what they want. Maybe she wants to be with you, or at least thinks someday she wants to, but she’s not ready to settle down yet. Now that you’ve moved in, that makes things much more complicated. If you do decide to date exclusively, you are zooming right ahead to a living together relationship when you were just casual before. My advice? Move out ASAP. Things are too complicated right now by living together. If you do decide to start a relationship with her, be up front about what that means to both of you, and date awhile before you live together. Oh, and I see no real implication of anal from what you overheard, not that it matters. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/108 "2007-09-13T15:07:38Z")
Update OP? ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/109 "2007-10-04T07:06:31Z")
[QUOTE=Pygmy Rugger] Yeah, I’m sorry you put it in the pit, also. So, you’ve had an intimate relationship with this woman for two full years, and you still haven’t figured out how to please her as much as this guy who’s known her for six hours has? No wonder she’s looking elsewhere for satisfaction. [/QUOTE] That was pretty rude. My apologizes. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/110 "2007-10-04T08:33:29Z")
Well, since **Pygmy** was so kind as to bump the thread I’ll ask what I’ve no doubt has been on the minds of everyone who’s followed this thread. It regards this comment: > [@](#): > > I specifically overheard comments about needing to lube up and whether her being on top would help get it in. The question, purely for scientific purposes mind, is “What was their decision?” &“Could you tell through the wall how fruitful that decision was?” ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/111 "2007-10-04T09:01:00Z")
Update OP? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/112 "2007-10-04T20:40:47Z")
I would like to know if the OP is still living with her. Well? ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/113 "2007-10-04T22:24:20Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] Yeah. They were just shooting the shit. [/QUOTE] Well, HE was… ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/114 "2007-10-04T22:37:11Z")
I didn’t realize this thread was still around. Anyway, to update, i’m still living with Dee and I haven’t had any reason to suspect that she’s been seeing anyone else since the incident. Our relationship is going pretty much the same as it was before (except that the sex has been better for some reason.) I suppose i’m comfortable right now with the way things are going, and in any event it’s going to be a couple months before i’ll be able to afford to move again if I wanted to, so i’ve got time to think everything over. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2007, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/115 "2007-10-05T02:24:43Z")
[QUOTE=Smapti] Our relationship is going pretty much the same as it was before (except that the sex has been better for some reason.) [/QUOTE] So, you guys doing the poop chute boogie, then? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2007, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/116 "2007-10-05T03:10:33Z")
[QUOTE=SmartAleq] So, you guys doing the poop chute boogie, then? [/QUOTE] Naw, that’s only for her _real_ boyfriends; she won’t go there with him (based on previous **smapti** posts). ---
**Author:** ![duality72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duality72/32/3910_2.png) [@duality72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duality72)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/117 "2007-10-05T18:37:37Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] Naw, that’s only for her _real_ boyfriends [/QUOTE] Way to rub it in. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2007, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/118 "2007-10-05T18:40:46Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] Naw, that’s only for her _real_ boyfriends; she won’t go there with him (based on previous **smapti** posts). [/QUOTE] He should try again now; if Lewis was so big that he necessitated all the logistics and jockeying stated in the OP, maybe she won’t mind Clark coming along now. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/119 "2007-10-05T18:51:08Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] He should try again now; if Lewis was so big that he necessitated all the logistics and jockeying stated in the OP, maybe she won’t mind Clark coming along now. [/QUOTE] Then again, that could result in everyone ending up at Cape Disappointment… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481/120 "2007-10-05T18:55:42Z")
[QUOTE=duality72] Way to rub it in. [/QUOTE] Yeah, that’s what _she_ said! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-my-roommate-with-benefits-or-please-give-me-relationship-advice/418481.md?page=5)