# I pit myself, along with someone I love.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-myself-along-with-someone-i-love/706181>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 3, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-myself-along-with-someone-i-love/706181 "2014-12-03T00:50:59Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Lemmytheseal2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@Lemmytheseal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemmytheseal2)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-myself-along-with-someone-i-love/706181/21 "2014-12-06T01:20:30Z")

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> [@BaldDudePeekskill](#):
>
> This thread resonates with me. I’m weak. I literally dissolved the friendship that I had (analagous in way to yours) because I had met my now husband and knew that there’d always be an issue–my issue, whenever I saw this dude or talked to him.
> 
> It was a really sad moment for me, but I made the right decision. Last I heard, my ‘ex-friend’ is still searching for the ‘one’…still scraping the bottoms of the same barrels he scraped when I so desperately wanted him. So, yes, I made the right decision.
> 
> Chin up, man. And sometimes you just gotta sing, “I’ll find another prettier than you, I’ll find another one prettier, than you”, and walk away. You actually WILL find another prettier, and more importantly, emotionally available. But don’t expect the availability to kick in and till you become fully, completely, totally available to the next girl. People can sense stuff like that.

A decade ago, I would have felt that to be a highly accurate way to describe our situation. The thing is, I accepted that we wouldn’t be together, and moved on, as I’ve described. As we’ve gotten older and wiser, all that high-strung hormonal stuff receded into the background, and the last couple of years have been great for our friendship, until whatever is happening now.

I know what to look for in a woman, and I credit my experience with Renata when we first met with opening my eyes to that, however painful it was at the time. I know I can find someone who makes me feel like she did, and I’m trying to do that. I knew that a long time ago. I know this person won’t be Renata.

I love her in the most literal sense, as another friend put it.

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