# I pit new parents! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 26, 2009, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991 "2009-01-26T00:54:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/21 "2009-01-26T20:51:53Z")
> [@minlokwat](#): > > Really **askeptic** , I hope this isn’t an accurate indication as to your approach to child rearing. No, it’s not but I understand the anxiety that goes with being a new parent and that description is about the best way to explaine it to a non parent. > [@](#): > > And dusting off and again trotting out the old line of: “You don’t have any kids so you don’t have a fucking clue as to what you’re talking about,” is neither insightful nor original as it wasn’t the 634 million times it has been used in the past. I did not say that. Despite the fact that I do think it is true. And I stopped thinking that line was BS about 8 months ago. Can you guess what happened 8 months ago? > [@](#): > > I thought **AK** ’s OP was on the money. I agree that many parents become overprotective _hypocondriacs by proxy_ but I also feel that unless you have ever had a child you have no idea what it is like. I sure didn’t expect to feel the way I do. > [@](#): > > And by the way, no offense –pit rules be damned. None taken. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/22 "2009-01-26T21:03:15Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > It sure was tricky with my second - it was my husband’s first… > > When the baby would whimper, I’d take 4.2 seconds to put down my my book or move the pan back so it wouldn’t burn before I’d go check it out. My husband would have already _sprinted_ over to baby, to find out what was wrong… > > And when he was crying - good luck with that. I think my husband thought I was a monster from hell for a while. > > 🙂 😃 On doctor’s orders we let our first one cry herself to sleep in the middle of the night. It was torture, but it worked. Second one - still breathing? Not bleeding? Good, cry away. The parents in the OP will learn soon enough kids are resilient. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/23 "2009-01-26T22:04:00Z")
> [@corvidae](#): > > I do this with mine when they start riding a bike, and my kids are hardly fragile little snowflakes. If they are likely to fall (and mine do, even with training wheels), then I try to minimize the damage. If someone else thinks I’m being overprotective, they are welcome to clean my kid up when they scrape their knees and elbows. I learned how to ride a bike around senior year in high school, and scraped the heck out of my elbow more than once. I don’t see how it’s ridiculous to prevent that, especially if they can fall over even with training wheels. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/24 "2009-01-26T22:10:50Z")
Is bundling them up so bad either? It’s been super cold here recently, and for something so tiny, it must be awful to be cold. Sometimes that one layer does make a diff… ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/25 "2009-01-26T22:13:02Z")
LOL I went through 6 goddaughters … the eldest is now 21 and the youngest is 3. The mom and I have a joke between us … First kid, EVERYTHING gets sterilized if the possibility of dirt occurs. Second kid - drops his pacifier, it gets put in the dishwasher Third kid - it gets rinsed off under running water and stuffed back in the mouth 4th kid, it gets wiped off on the tshirt and handed back 5th kid… dropped the pacifier? Hell find it eventually … In our family if the blood wasnt flowing and nothing was broken, a kiss on the head, a pat on the butt sending us back into play … ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/26 "2009-01-26T22:24:03Z")
Hear Hear! I was the youngest of 4. By the time I came around no one paid a lick of attention to me. My brothers and sister started squizing out kids when I was still in middle school, I realised one thing right off the bat – the ones that got coddled were the ones that made the worst headaches. I resolved to never be a helicopter parent. With my kids – _even the first one_ – if I couldn’t see blood from 20 paces and/or if they could cry, I figured they were ok and didn’t need an ambulance. It has worked out well for us. They’re both pretty solid, pretty sturdy and quite healthy. Sure, my daughter has had a few ER visits, but each time the doctors were amazed at how calm she was – not screaming or freaking out like other kids (and some adults) would do. Kids should be allowed to be kids and it kills me to see these helicopter parents taking toys away and not letting junior go to the park, because he might fall down. I feel so sorry for some of the kids that mine play with – they’re not kids so much as little dolls that mommy and daddy trot about for who-knows-what-reason. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and I worry about them every minute, but within reason. Will my son kill himself by riding his go-cart around the yard at 20 mph? I don’t know – it’s possible, but so is his getting struck by a stray bullet sleeping in his bed. I let him sleep in his bed, why can’t I let him be a kid and ride his go-cart? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/27 "2009-01-26T23:32:04Z")
When my son was born I actually put a sign on his bassinet “Wash hands thoroughly before touching the baby.” When my daughter was born, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![EpiGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8c91f0/32.png) [@EpiGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpiGirl)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/28 "2009-01-26T23:33:38Z")
Why not give them a break. From the OP’s post it seems that this is probably the first experience they have had caring for a baby. I honestly haven’t done much more than hold and play with babies and I know I’ll probably be obsessing too whenever I have kids! ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/29 "2009-01-27T00:11:59Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Tell you what AK, since you don’t have kids try to imagine putting your heart lungs brain kidneys liver all your money everything you hold precious into a a tiny fragile wobbly machine. Then imagine the machine only has one warning light and all it says is “POSSIBLE CATASTROPHIC FAILURE OR POSSIBLY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT” now imagine that light starts flashing. Just how do you think you would feel? This is perfect. It made me laugh so hard, the original object of these feelings looked up and asked what that was all about. And no, it’s not how you go about parenting, but it is how you _feel_, especially with the first one. That said, parents of infants can’t win either way. I went out with my six week old in the sling, and the checkout lady at the store asked how old she was. When I told her, she stopped in shock, and then burst out, “But it’s RAINING!” I admit, with the second one, I only ever put socks on her (even in winter), to avoid criticism. She’s only out in the weather for three minutes, and it hasn’t been below freezing - what’s the big deal? (Though I actually do still have a thing about people touching babies on the face or hands, especially very new babies. Our hands tend to be filthy, and I’ll thank you not to pass the RSV you picked up on the Target shopping cart to a neonate!) ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/30 "2009-01-27T00:33:41Z")
> [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](#): > > I admit, with the second one, I only ever put socks on her (even in winter), to avoid criticism. She’s only out in the weather for three minutes, and it hasn’t been below freezing - what’s the big deal? I figure - if it’s not cold enough for gloves on their hands, why bother with socks on the feet? But then, I hate baby socks, and the babies all seem to hate them too, and yank 'em off first chance they get. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/31 "2009-01-27T00:44:25Z")
My sons have (and the littlest continues to) self-inflict head damage to themselves in their rough versions of imitating superheroes. So far, their brains appear to function normally, except for that “listening to Dad” thingie. So far though, neither of them has run into a busy road and been splattered by a semi truck. I may toss the little one in front of one soon, though. 🙂 Kids are tough, especially boys. Check this out: my youngest son is three as of last August, and he needed double hernia surgery, which he got last Tuesday. Other than his aggressive behavior after coming out from under general anasthesia, he was right as rain the next day, and literally bouncing off the walls. Pics: [![](http://i427.photobucket.com/albums/pp360/sgenetti77/JacobsHernia003.jpg) ](http://i427.photobucket.com/albums/pp360/sgenetti77/JacobsHernia003.jpg) [![](http://i427.photobucket.com/albums/pp360/sgenetti77/JacobsHernia002.jpg) ](http://i427.photobucket.com/albums/pp360/sgenetti77/JacobsHernia002.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/32 "2009-01-27T00:46:58Z")
Mine got the “all pad” treatment until they learned how to ride the bike. To be fair to first time parents, they are sent home from the hospital with instructions to count wet diapers and log breastfeeds and ounces consumed via bottle, etc. My sickly kid was supposed to have 52 cc every 3 hours to meet his ‘minimum metabolic requirements’. We spent quite some time estimating the amount he barfed ( and he barfed every meal) and trying to replace it. Crazy junk like that. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/33 "2009-01-28T05:31:46Z")
Dealing with the parents of a first born as a teacher SUCKS. Apparently, there’s only ONE child in the entire universe who matters, and GODDAMMIT this school is going to recognize their little TAG genius is the axis around which the planet revolves EVERY FUCKING DAY! Then you teach the third sibling six years later and you can’t even get the parent to respond to an email… ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/34 "2009-01-28T08:18:22Z")
Out little one still has us trained to jump on every whimper. I’d pit myself, but it’s against the rules. My sister said that with her first kid, she was sterilizing the pacifier every　time it hit the floor. For the second, she would try to remember to blow it off. ---
**Author:** ![Mesquite-oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@Mesquite-oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mesquite-oh)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/35 "2009-01-28T09:51:38Z")
This is one of those “he who has felt it, knows it” conversations. I’ve been a parent for 17 years and I am pretty laid back, realizing that kids are tough little things and that you can’t be on top of them all the time. That being said, there is nothing more haunting, more disturbing, or more gut wrenching than the sound of your child’s head hitting concrete or some other hard abrasive surface, especially if you could have prevented it. It is hard to put into words, but if you have heard and felt it, you know what I mean. Looking at the aftermath, the blood, the scraped off skin, is no picnic either, but it is not as bad as that sound and the question of what kind of damage just got done. Of course, everyone knows that falls and scrapes are part of childhood, but they still suck. So if new parents are a bit over protective and want to throw on an extra jacket, so what? If they express concerns because the kiddo is crying a lot, that is their job. It is always easy after the fact with someone else’s kid to say, “see, I told you that it was teething.” But when you are in the shit, and you are the one making decisions, and it is all in your hands, and the welfare of someone you love more than yourself is on the line, you look at all the possibilities. In some cases there is not a lot of room for error. Give the new parents a fuckin’ break. ---
**Author:** ![Petrobey\_Mavromihalis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@Petrobey\_Mavromihalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Petrobey_Mavromihalis)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/36 "2009-01-28T10:02:31Z")
Now I’m feeling bad. My 2.5 year old scoots around the streets on her bike and we haven’t even bought her a helmet. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/37 "2009-01-28T10:16:55Z")
Yeah new parents can be overprotective, they normally mellow out with time though. ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/38 "2009-01-28T10:23:19Z")
Hah… my wife’s a medical student, which means that with our 9 m/o daughter she has _just enough_ knowledge to know what a problem _might_ be, but not enough experience to tell which one it \*actually \*is. Combine this with access to PubMed and the fun just never ends. 🙂 So when baby’s sclera (the white part in the eye) has a slighly blue tint under certain light, it’s almost certainly any one of (deep breath) Alkaptonuria Diamond-Blackfan anemia Ehlers-Danlos syndrome Hypophosphatasia Loeys-Dietz syndrome Marshall-Smith-Weaver syndrome Osteogenesis imperfecta Pseudoxanthoma elasticum dominant type 2 Pseudoxanthoma elasticum recessive type 1 Recurrent hereditary polyserositis etc etc Or it could be, you know, that in babies the sclera tends to be a bit thinner than in adults, meaning you can see a bit of colour through it. :smack: Our GP was very patient, but didn’t think there was anything to worry about 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/39 "2009-01-28T17:31:52Z")
My friends’ first baby was “get the nice stuff for” but not necessarily helicopter. They decided before 3 months that if she wets herself at night, she stays wet until the morning. Poop gets changed immediately. Also, after 3 months no feedings until morning. That kid is very nice today (6 years old) and had no problems. #2 daughter got the same treatment, but she’s a holy terror who lives life on the edge. She used to cry as a baby if you didn’t carry her like a football, and to this day Uncle Shecky is banned from showing her fun stuff like Parachute Bedsheets and Burning Ants. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991/40 "2009-01-28T19:10:37Z")
I have a three month old and I can certainly sympathize with **askeptic** ’s comment. They really do appear to be fragile, although it helps to remember that they aren’t shy about letting you know if they are in discomfort or hungry. They also seem to be good about letting you know when they don’t want anymore food. I agree with the bundling comment in that it is easy to overbundle the baby. My wife was putting our son in a warm winter bunting to go downstairs in a room that was maybe 65. He would start sweating and would start to get red. The general rule is that baby should be wearing one layer more than you. We have been lucky in that our kid doesn’t seem to remove his sock often. They even stay on him while he is in daycare. Our son did give us a marvelous gift last night. He feel asleep at 10:30 and woke up around 6:50. That felt really nice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-new-parents/482991.md?page=3)