# I Pit NotOkay for convincing the entire board umkay had died! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044 "2012-06-23T07:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/221 "2012-06-24T06:37:00Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > You know what bugs me? > > Not the many theories of why Umkay could be a troll (we know notokay was). Some of them are rather insightful and clever and bring up points that never crossed my mind. > > What bugs me is all the assholes who are also 100 percent sure they are right (and being god damn turds about it). > > If Umkay turns out to be real I’ll be reminding some of you assholes about it till the day you or I get banned from here. What **billfish** said. > [@Eliahna](#): > > Why would you start this thread? > > Things it won’t achieve: making the troll take a good, long look at themselves and resolve to be a better person. Trollie will not sit in their cave thinking “Wow… I hurt actual people with my actions. I never intended to cause anyone pain. What have I done?!” > > Things it will achieve: further lulz! Look at the butthurt crybabies! So much payoff for so little effort! > > I’d like to introduce you to the acronym “DNFTT” which stands for “Do Not Feed The Trolls”. This thread = pure, organic, wholemeal, low-gi troll food with tasty butthurt sauce. No, on second though, what **Eliahna** said. Nobody knows for certain that people on the internet are actually who they claim they are. And yes, that includes **umkay**. But I have no reason to doubt any of you here, either. Also including **umkay**. There is no reason she should have to prove her genuineness any more than any of the rest of you have to. I am not such a hardheaded cynic that my BS detector is pegged by anything she posts. As for **NotOkay** , my personal theory is that this was **Gezmo**. He was banned the other day for trolling, got butthurt, saw an opportunity to stir up some shit, created a sock, and got his jollies. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/222 "2012-06-24T06:47:59Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > Okay, so we’ve got a poster that comes to prominence through a “Devotee” thread. > > Let’s have a nice voyeuristic thread about whether or not the quadriplegic chick should date a **guy that admires and dreams of taking care of a quadriplegic chick.** She proceeds to tell us all about devotees and questions their motives. I bet a pretty goodly amount of the SDMB peeps have never even heard of this little fetish group, so it’s interesting stuff. > > Everyone loves the thread, and someone suggests that she starts an “Ask the…” thread, which she immediately obliges us with. > > She’s a new poster on the SDMB, of course, but she knows exactly what it takes to get a "Ask the… " thread going and keep it going. She tells us all about the fine details of being a quadriplegic (stuff that a \*\*guy that admires and dreams about taking care of a quadriplegic \*\* might be likely to know about. > > Suspicious? > > Now let’s note that the poster is allegedly a young, attractive, single, and wealthy lady. Fap fap fap material for the **guy that admires and dreams about taking care of a quadriplegic** , much? > > Very suspicious. > > Now, let’s add a liberal dash of “OMG a troll said I was dead but I’m not really dead!” Drama! Lots of attention! Yay!!1! > > Yes, the Bullshit-o-meter is pegged now. This, and… > [@hajario](#): > > I agree with the first part of this. I have no idea if she is real and I don’t really care except for idle curiosity. No one here deserved to know anything. This. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/223 "2012-06-24T07:09:35Z")
> [@keturah](#): > > Even if it were possible, why when her caretakers put it there wouldn’t it be opened? Her teeth are very important to her, remember? I don’t know. I was just looking for some kind of contraption that would make it physically possible. Maybe she likes having a trick she can do, even if it isn’t the smartest thing. Maybe she did it only once. Maybe this, maybe that. I just don’t find the idea implausible, is all. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/224 "2012-06-24T07:22:07Z")
> [@keturah](#): > > Even if it were possible, why when her caretakers put it there wouldn’t it be opened? Her teeth are very important to her, remember? If she did this frequently, perhaps you’d have a point. But so far as I can determine, she’s claiming to have done this once. It appeared in a list of things she says it’s possible for her to do. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/225 "2012-06-24T11:39:34Z")
I’ve got a really weird idea: 1. Trust the mods to do their homework. I’m sure they’ve already checked to see whether **umkay** and **NotOkay** have been posting from the same IP address. 2. Assuming **umkay** doesn’t get banned almost immediately, but posters still have doubts about whether she’s been playing us, it doesn’t seem like there’s a whole lot of need to resolve the issue right away. She’ll either settle down and become a frequent poster without any further drama along these lines, or she’ll become a nexus of recurring moments like this. Or she’ll just disappear before too long. Which way things go will pretty much tell the tale. 3. In the meantime, those who are inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt have no reason not to do so, and those who aren’t, don’t really have to interact with her. We’re grownups. We don’t have to go apeshit every time one of these controversies comes along. One last thought: if the SoCal contingent had a Dopefest anytime soon, **umkay** could easily resolve the question of her existence, if she were so inclined, by showing up with one of her caretakers. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/226 "2012-06-24T11:42:08Z")
> [@keturah](#): > > Even if it were possible, why when her caretakers put it there wouldn’t it be opened? Her teeth are very important to her, remember? Yeah, and she was paralyzed as a 14 year old and has admitted to doing reckless and stupid things. She didn’t say _when_ she had used her teeth as a beer bottle opener, whether she was 15 or whether it was last week. I’ve got a spouse whose opened bottles with his teeth. Everything was OK until the time it wasn’t, and since that very expensive trip to the dentist he has used a church key or asked me to do it. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way. This is exactly the sort of nitpicking that never ends. If she showed up to explain that incident someone would find something else to drag into the spotlight. It’s a craziness that never ends. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/227 "2012-06-24T14:23:30Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > She’ll either settle down and become a frequent poster without any further drama along these lines, or she’ll become a nexus of recurring moments like this. Or she’ll just disappear before too long. Which way things go will pretty much tell the tale. This. Asking her to prove who she is is ridiculous. If she sticks around and posts on a variety of topics, then the likelihood that she’s a troll drops. On the other hand, if all she wants to do is talk about is her handicap, the likelihood increases. Eventually, the situation will resolve itself. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/228 "2012-06-24T14:31:06Z")
On the internet, nobody knows you’re a quad dog. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/229 "2012-06-24T15:09:20Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > . . . In the meantime, those who are inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt have no reason not to do so, and those who aren’t, don’t really have to interact with her. . . . End of story. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/230 "2012-06-24T15:45:59Z")
For what it’s worth, I wasn’t traumatized because I didn’t know who umkay was. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/231 "2012-06-24T15:53:07Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Yes. I’m actually much wealthier and more handsome than I’ve let on. So you are hideous and live in your grandmother’s basement? 🙂 That was a pretty funny BTW. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/232 "2012-06-24T15:53:59Z")
Personally, I think that it’s **Rand Rover** that’s a giant hoax. He’s been setting off my bullshit alarms since he first showed up, believe you me. A pseudo-Randroid libertarian type – here in this den of liberals who will give him all the negative attention he could ever want – _and_ he’s some kind of stereotypically heartless tax attorney? Wow, isn’t that just perfect. And, sure, every so often he seems to exhibit technical, legal knowledge related to his alleged field, but he could just find that stuff on the internet as needed. Actually, I’ve been working on this, on what I’ve come up with is: \*\*RR \*\*is probably some guy with a tax attorney _fetish_, which would explain why he knows these things. And the smoking gun? That poster he clashes with on a regular basis (you know the one), who is _so obviously **RR** ’s own sock puppet_. Like, so obvious, we can just take it as a given, and anyone who thinks \*\*Rover \*\*\*isn’t \*a hoax is ignoring this crucial piece of evidence. Wait! Another thought: that other troll account? Now I’m thinking that \*\*RR \*\*and his antagonist **aren’t** the same person, but actually _two distinct, entirely separate trolls who just happen to be trolling each other_! What are the odds! You know, it saddens me that so many people on this board are naïve enough to have bought **Rand Rover** ’s stick so unquestioningly, and maintain their belief \*even \*when all the evidence is spelled out for them. I guess this isn’t the clear thinking place we imagine it to be… ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/233 "2012-06-24T15:57:37Z")
[Anyway, snark aside, I expect to eat it hard if it turns out that \*\*umkay \*\*is actually a troll … which I admit is possible, and not a \*ridiculous \*thing for a person to believe. But if this thread were a person, that’s what it would sound like. ETA: And I misspelled “schtick.” Damnit.] ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/234 "2012-06-24T16:02:08Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > You know, it saddens me that so many people on this board are naïve enough to have bought **Rand Rover** ’s stick so unquestioningly, and maintain their belief \*even \*when all the evidence is spelled out for them. I guess this isn’t the clear thinking place we imagine it to be… Not sure if you’re being facetious here, but if you go back and look at RR’s early days, there were dozens if not hundreds of posts accusing him of being a fake. He actually got quite a lot more skepticism than umkay has. But he kept posting because people who aren’t trolls\* don’t expect other people online to believe their real-life claims. (And a well-off tax attorney who is also a Randian douchebag is not exactly a stretch of the imagination.) - Not that I think Rand Rover isn’t trolling at least half the time. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/235 "2012-06-24T16:03:33Z")
What if we found out it wasn’t her, wouldn’t the people pointing fingers feel like jerks? I’m not saying they may not be right, but where’s the evidence, (can’t the mods look at the IP address?) There’s nothing but speculation in implicating her. I would feel like a jerk if I said that it was possibly her, then learn it wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/236 "2012-06-24T16:05:19Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > (can’t the mods look at the IP address?) This is like the third time this has been brought up. Proxies exist. Did y’all just get off a bus from 2003 or what? ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/237 "2012-06-24T16:06:48Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > This is like the third time this has been brought up. > > Proxies exist. Did y’all just get off a bus from 2003 or what? Sorry, I don’t know computers. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/238 "2012-06-24T16:27:07Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Not sure if you’re being facetious here, but if you go back and look at RR’s early days, there were dozens if not hundreds of posts accusing him of being a fake. He actually got quite a lot more skepticism than umkay has. I know there were some posts along this line, but, unless I’m misremembering, there wasn’t the partial consensus of people who were \*confident \*that he \*actually \*was a fake as there is here. Aside, that is, from the accusation that he was lying about how much money he made – a lot of people said that, but I don’t think a lot of people held out as _probably true_ that he had invented his persona or profession out of whole-cloth (though, yes, there were a few). > [@](#): > > But he kept posting because people who aren’t trolls\* don’t expect other people online to believe their real-life claims. I don’t know, I think he kept posting because he gets a charge out of it (or at least doesn’t give a shit) when people he thinks are stupid try to insult him. Anyway, I would warn against taking it as evidence of trollery if and when \*\*umkay \*\*stops posting. A huge percentage of new posters – even ones who post a lot for a time and receive gratuitous welcomes and explicit compliments on their posting style – simply don’t stick around very long. Further: yeah, some people who aren’t trolls don’t care if people online doubt their professed identity, but I’m sure that’s not universally the case. I honestly don’t know how I would react as a new poster facing such accusations. Maybe I’d stick around, but there’s also a good chance I’d just decide that the well is poisoned and I should go off in search of greener pastures. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/239 "2012-06-24T16:48:05Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > I know there were some posts along this line, but, unless I’m misremembering, there wasn’t the partial consensus of people who were \*confident \*that he \*actually \*was a fake as there is here. Aside, that is, from the accusation that he was lying about how much money he made – a lot of people said that, but I don’t think a lot of people held out as _probably true_ that he had invented his persona or profession out of whole-cloth (though, yes, there were a few). Nope. Read [this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508871) It’s the first one that turned up from a quick search, but it was far from the only one filled with comments about the fakeness of his claimed profession. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/240 "2012-06-24T16:48:13Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I think there is a perfect solution to quell the doubters and educate everyone at the same time. umkay should have her caretaker take a short video of her computer screen while she composes an SDMB post with her voice control software. Do some special formatting, a quick edit: basically, just a quick demonstration of the same sort of posting dexterity she has already demonstrated thus far. Best of all, no identifying information has to be revealed. > > I think it would be quite educational, while definitively proving her non-trolldom. We didn’t ask for one from you. Why should we ask her? Should we start asking for positive ID before we let people register? We have no precedent for this and we let over 134,000 other mofos come in here without requiring them to prove anything, yeah, that’s lax on our part, I’m sure. We don’t ask anyone else on this board to prove their bona fides. Why is umkay different? From the registration agreement: > [@](#): > > We reserve the right to revoke the posting privileges of persons misrepresenting themselves on the SDMB. Umkay is still here and NotOkay is not, so that should tell you something right there. We have no evidence to show anything but umkay as the victim of a cruel hoax/practical joke. Not the first time this has happened to someone on the board, and sadly, probably not the last. People have come in here before and made claims/told stories that were proven to be false. And they were dealt with by management and – sometimes very harshly – by the greater Straight Dope community. Can’t be as open as we are without letting people in the door on basic trust. If someone violates that, well, bad on them – the outcomes certainly are. That should be more than sufficient. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=13)