# I Pit NotOkay for convincing the entire board umkay had died! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044 "2012-06-23T07:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/261 "2012-06-24T18:47:47Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > We have never asked this of anyone else who submitted one of those “Ask the …” threads. > > NEVER. > > So why in this case? > > Why is this one poster being held to a different standard? > > Just wanting to know. To be clear, it’s her call. Simply a practical way to cut to the chase. If she would prefer to deal with a stream of skeptical snarkiness while she builds a longer track record on the Dope - like **Rand** did for instance, that’s her call, too. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/262 "2012-06-24T18:49:36Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > To be clear, it’s her call. Simply a practical way to cut to the chase. If she would prefer to deal with a stream of skeptical snarkiness while she builds a longer track record on the Dope - like **Rand** did for instance, fine. Is it necessary that the skeptical snarkiness continue while she builds the longer track record? ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/263 "2012-06-24T18:50:17Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > We have never asked this of anyone else who submitted one of those “Ask the …” threads. > > NEVER. > > So why in this case? > > Why is this one poster being held to a different standard? > > Just wanting to know. I’ve never believed that you play the tuba.🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/264 "2012-06-24T18:50:50Z")
Quote: Originally Posted by umkay And if you really wanna know, I thought YOU could be a dev for the first week or two I interacted with you: immediately PMing me and asking for my Facebook, pressing me for photos and more info on my job, and just seeming to know an awful lot about the “DPW” spectrum, even for a gimp. And while I actually laughed out loud when the suggestion was made here that maybe I am Mr. D, you know that would make me, by definition, a pretender and not a devotee, right? At least make your accusations accurate, dude. Um, this is not true and you know it. I never “pressed you for photos”. What I did was post in your thread, asking about \*how you felt about the idea \*of sharing pictures online; I never wanted pics myself. I PMed you out of a sense of friendliness and comraderie; we never discussed any personal details. And I also only asked about your job on the thread as well (you seem to be implying that I was asking questions about your job via PM); I found your job-description extremely vague and I wanted to know what you did. That’s all. And no, if you were actually a devotee “pretending” to be disabled for the purposes of this thread, you’d actually just be a devotee who was lying online. A “pretender” actually LIVES the life of a disabled person; they don’t just write about it online. _Dude._ ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/265 "2012-06-24T18:54:47Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > \*I’m a troll because someone faked my death and I had the temerity to deny it (with _italics_): May YOU never be the victim of this, and have the board turn against you overnight, regardless of anything you or the Mods say about it. I don’t know whether to characterize this as good news or bad news, but I do not believe that this is what happened. I think what happened was that the fake death thing provided a reason for everybody to state their opinions on the matter. This board can be fairly characterized along a few different fault lines, but one of the main ones has to do with whether you really look at this place as a collection of actual people or not. I think there are a lot of posters who are extremely predisposed toward disbelieving anything that might be advantageous to lie about, for the reason that it’s advantageous to lie about it, and much more so when it involves a remarkable story, and that group mostly thought you were lying to begin with. That’s how they expect online interactions to go, and that’s always been bubbling away somewhere, and frankly applies to most new posters. They didn’t turn on you, they just waited a while to call you a liar. I also think there are a lot of people who didn’t think you were lying before the fake death deal, and I think they still don’t think you’re lying, because they think of this as an interaction between actual people who are being themselves and that’s how they expect these interactions to go. To the first group, the second group is full of credulous morons; to the second group, the first group is made up of Scut Farkus sociopaths. You were hearing from the latter group in your thread; now you’re hearing from everybody, that’s all. And it turns out they all have a fuckball of a lot to say about it, so good luck with that. For what it’s worth, I think you’re a person and that’s good enough for me. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/266 "2012-06-24T18:55:19Z")
Oh for pete’s sake. It’s a TROLL. You’re being trolled, folks. Why won’t she confirm her identity? BECAUSE SHE CAN’T. She’s a liar and a fake. How gullible do you have to be? Now here comes the troll, saying “Yo, I’m not a troll! Not going to prove that I’m NOT a troll, you guys just gotta BELIEVE! And anyway if I were a troll I would totally have done a better job trolling you guys!” and you guys are all sitting around thinking… “seems legit to me?” Seriously? ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/267 "2012-06-24T18:55:55Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > _I’m a troll because **Ambivalid** , with his unimpeachable knowledge of all things quad, says I’ve clearly never been in love: **Ambivalid** , you dipshit. What you said about me and my experience was such a f_cking jack@ss para thing to say: “If she was really in love, a chair is no big deal.” Perhaps YOUR chair, which I’m imagining is some sporty lightweight thing, that you can propel with your own two hands, is no big deal. You also have full sensation and no catheter. On top of all that, you’re apparently some kind of gym rat. In your case, the only thing “disabled” about you is that you can’t move your legs. > [@Ambivalid](#): > > Um, this is not true and you know it. I never “pressed you for photos”. What I did was post in your thread, asking about \*how you felt about the idea \*of sharing pictures online; I never wanted pics myself. I PMed you out of a sense of friendliness and comraderie; we never discussed any personal details. And I also only asked about your job on the thread as well (you seem to be implying that I was asking questions about your job via PM); I found your job-description extremely vague and I wanted to know what you did. That’s all. > > And no, if you were actually a devotee “pretending” to be disabled for the purposes of this thread, you’d actually just be a devotee who was lying online. A “pretender” actually LIVES the life of a disabled person; they don’t just write about it online. _Dude._ [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Gqw1FI1hfJA/hqdefault.jpg "Cripple Fight!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gqw1FI1hfJA) ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/268 "2012-06-24T18:56:38Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > Is it necessary that the skeptical snarkiness continue while she builds the longer track record? I have no intent to snark at all - but have you spent much time on the Dope? 😉 Snark is the _lingua franca_ here when there’s different POVs. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/269 "2012-06-24T18:56:53Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > To be clear, it’s her call. Simply a practical way to cut to the chase. If she would prefer to deal with a stream of skeptical snarkiness while she builds a longer track record on the Dope - like **Rand** did for instance, that’s her call, too. One thing I hate about this pace: there’s virtually no accountability for being wrong. Which ones of the posters who doubted Rand have now stepped up to say they might have been mistaken? This is a phenomenon not limited to accusations of trolley, mind you. People love to confidently declaim facts or predictions and then seem genuinely offended when someone goes back to call them on the error. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/270 "2012-06-24T18:59:27Z")
\*\*Jimmy \*\*nails it on the head, probably. **Sarabellum** : What’s your name, troll? Pics or it didn’t happen. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/271 "2012-06-24T19:00:55Z")
> [@choie](#): > > This is supposed to be the place where extraordinary claims require evidence. That’s basically the whole freaking reason for this site, right? I don’t know if I’m in the majority on this, but I’ve never felt that applied to what goes on in people’s personal lives; there, there’s nothing really to do but take them at their word, or not bother with them if we feel their tales are too fantastical. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/272 "2012-06-24T19:01:27Z")
> [@umkay](#): > > \*I’m a troll because…well, a quad couldn’t possibly have composed this long of a post! Yeah, well, it took me two hours to get it down and edited. So there. 😛 You are _really_ slowing down. Remember when [you wrote three posts](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15092032&postcount=120) within four minutes of each other, with multiquoting and formatting? Or [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15097950#post15097950), which only took you ten minutes? Or [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15094698&postcount=207), where you managed to quote someone, edit the quote down, and write out a reply in just one minute. So maybe you can see why some AB people find it hard to imagine a quadriplegic composing and editing posts more quickly than most of can with two hands, a mouse and a keyboard. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/273 "2012-06-24T19:08:09Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > I have no intent to snark at all - but have you spent much time on the Dope? 😉 Snark is the _lingua franca_ here when there’s different POVs. I thought you were talking about the “snark” stemming from this incident, but continuing on other threads where she might choose to post. That is, that this will follow HER, and not necessarily relevantly, unless she could prove her identity in a court of law. “Snark” is the same on countless other forums so you can use it there with confidence should the need arise. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/274 "2012-06-24T19:08:38Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > I don’t know whether to characterize this as good news or bad news, but I do not believe that this is what happened. I think what happened was that the fake death thing provided a reason for everybody to state their opinions on the matter. This board can be fairly characterized along a few different fault lines, but one of the main ones has to do with whether you really look at this place as a collection of actual people or not. > > I think there are a lot of posters who are extremely predisposed toward disbelieving anything that might be advantageous to lie about, for the reason that it’s advantageous to lie about it, and much more so when it involves a remarkable story, and that group mostly thought you were lying to begin with. That’s how they expect online interactions to go, and that’s always been bubbling away somewhere, and frankly applies to most new posters. They didn’t turn on you, they just waited a while to call you a liar. > > I also think there are a lot of people who didn’t think you were lying before the fake death deal, and I think they still don’t think you’re lying, because they think of this as an interaction between actual people who are being themselves and that’s how they expect these interactions to go. To the first group, the second group is full of credulous morons; to the second group, the first group is made up of Scut Farkus sociopaths. You were hearing from the latter group in your thread; now you’re hearing from everybody, that’s all. … And there are also a number of people who enjoyed and appreciated the threads, but still had questions and concerns nonetheless, which the whole NotOkay incident served to galvanize, and would just like a little factual reassurance. Many posters here have photos in the gallery or have supplied other real life info. Fer chrissake, how hard would it be for her to send a confidential link to a mod of her Facebook page or something? ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/275 "2012-06-24T19:10:45Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I don’t know if I’m in the majority on this, but I’ve never felt that applied to what goes on in people’s personal lives; there, there’s nothing really to do but take them at their word, or not bother with them if we feel their tales are too fantastical. Yes. Well said. So obvious it’s almost beneath us. Apparently. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/276 "2012-06-24T19:11:15Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > Oh for pete’s sake. > > It’s a TROLL. > > You’re being trolled, folks. > > Why won’t she confirm her identity? BECAUSE SHE CAN’T. She’s a liar and a fake. > > How gullible do you have to be? > > Now here comes the troll, saying “Yo, I’m not a troll! Not going to prove that I’m NOT a troll, you guys just gotta BELIEVE! And anyway if I were a troll I would totally have done a better job trolling you guys!” > > and you guys are all sitting around thinking… “seems legit to me?” > > Seriously? To refresh our recollection, the M.O. of a troll is to get other people all riled up by pushing their buttons. As I see it, assuming _arguendo_ that **umkay** is a troll, then (a) you are letting yourself be trolled in a major way, since you’re sure getting agitated over this, and (b) you’re aiding her trollery by keeping the argument alive and heated. Finally, I’d like to ask a simple question: if **umkay** is making the whole thing up, what’s it to you? Are you out any money? Or are you just overreacting to the possibility that someone may be [wrong on the Internet](http://xkcd.com/386/)? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/277 "2012-06-24T19:12:16Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > I don’t really care whether or not you’re real or fake, but it’s kind of shitty to air out private interactions in public like this - and everyone here knows I’ve never been the biggest fan of **Ambivalid**. Normally I’d agree but in this case meh. Yeah total jerk move to reveal those cucumber fetish pics you sent me because we got in a heated abortion debate and now I am mad at you. OTOH, accuse me of being a pervy troll and I’ll happily reveal the pervy shit you sent me. Lesson of the the day? Please don’t send me pervy shit. Well, actually please do cause I like that stuff! Just keep in mind what happens in Billfishland is not guaranteed to stay there. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/278 "2012-06-24T19:12:28Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > how hard would it be for her to send a confidential link to a mod of her Facebook page or something? Why do people keep saying this as if it is a sensible option? The mods are just random people on the internet with a few extra buttons in their user CP, why exactly would we be any happier giving them personal info as opposed to me or you? ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/279 "2012-06-24T19:12:32Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > We have never asked this of anyone else who submitted one of those “Ask the …” threads. > > NEVER. > > So why in this case? > > Why is this one poster being held to a different standard? > > Just wanting to know. Why? My post was probably too long, but I’ll _precis_ it for you: - Never posted before; first post about sexual fetishists devoted to quads, eye-catching to be sure - Next and basically only post: thread all about herself, only posts a couple of times anywhere else without referencing her condition despite apparently loving the SDMB for years - DEAD! - NOT DEAD! I’m sorry, **Tuba** , but… _how long_ have you been on the SDMB again? How long have you been the admin here and seen hundreds of trolls? You don’t deal with **Ed** , who writes skeptically about being skeptical and ferreting out something you may have heard about, called “The Straight Dope”? Jesus. You… you don’t still believe in **Wally** , do you? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/280 "2012-06-24T19:13:00Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > Yes. Well said. So obvious it’s almost beneath us. Apparently. Thanks. Now I think I’m gonna take my own advice from another post here, and go outside for awhile. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=15)