# I Pit NotOkay for convincing the entire board umkay had died! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044 "2012-06-23T07:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/321 "2012-06-24T22:53:33Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > she hadn’t posted in several days and many were watching the thread waiting for her to return. It would have required no synchronization at all for the same troll to come right back after being banned with a new account and make a single post in the thread. Where does all that fall on the plausibility meter? Pretty fucking stupid, is where. If \*\*Umkay \*\*had been viewing the SD WITHOUT being logged in (I do it all the time), the troll would have busted easily by her posting “Bullshit” immediately. Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the cleverness? Look, like I said, if **Umkay** wants to post here, and not be a one-trick pony posting exclusively about quadraplegic issues, then she will and it doesn’t matter if she tried playing a trick on you all or not. But if she continues to post on “her” issues to the exclusion of every other subject, or if she has mysterious absences followed by more sensational “Umkay has DIED for realls this time!!” posts, then I think you’re getting played. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/322 "2012-06-24T22:54:44Z")
Yes, I know you can read without being logged in. My whole point is that the ENTIRE case against Umkay is so circumstantial, and frankly not very damningly circumstantial…and yet people are SO sure that she is obviously fake. There is much more evidence that she’s real, and yet because one person was a jerk, this woman is being just dumped on with very little reason. Again…if I’m wrong, there are no consequences. If the accusers in this thread are wrong, you’ve just totally shit on someone whose only crime was having an emergency. I can live with being fooled…I’m just amazed how many people are willing to do the latter. If there was overwhelming evidence, I’d think thee was some merit, but so far, the only evidence anyone seems to have is “it seems fishy.”. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/323 "2012-06-24T23:02:50Z")
> [@Jman](#): > > people are SO sure that she is obviously fake. How does this line up with being “SO sure”? [QUOTE=me] I’m not saying that I KNOW them to be one and the same, just that that’s the likeliest explanation to me, given the timing. [/QUOTE] Time will tell, as I keep saying. If she continues to post, and if she posts on a variety of subjects, as every other poster does, and if this dies down without further drama and repeated “Umkay has DIED!!” posts, then I’m probably wrong (unless she has a George-Costanza-like stubbornness). But I hope not–I’m kinda enjoying the spectacle of so many Dopers being played like this. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/324 "2012-06-24T23:08:46Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > How does this line up with being “SO sure”? > Time will tell, as I keep saying. If she continues to post, and if she posts on a variety of subjects, as every other poster does, and if this dies down without further drama and repeated “Umkay has DIED!!” posts, then I’m probably wrong (unless she has a George-Costanza-like stubbornness). But I hope not–I’m kinda enjoying the spectacle of so many Dopers being played like this. You just shot yourself in the ass there partner. First you say you don’t “know” then you say you enjoy seeing people played. Which is it? ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/325 "2012-06-24T23:19:31Z")
Anyway, I’m done with the pitting…if umkay for some reason ends up being a troll, then oh well, I got played…really it’s no skin off my nose. Hope the rest of you feel OK if it goes the other way. Back to my life… ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/326 "2012-06-24T23:56:21Z")
What did Wally do? The Cliff notes version please. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/327 "2012-06-25T00:03:02Z")
Posted a bunch of plagiarized stuff. Faked his death. Stayed ‘dead’, which is something of a key point. I don’t think even the ‘daughter’ character who announced the ‘death’ stuck around. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/328 "2012-06-25T00:14:41Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > What did Wally do? > > The Cliff notes version please. Start here: [The mystery of Wally. - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=229542) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/329 "2012-06-25T00:48:25Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Yeah, I agree with you here. I think a whole lot more people (myself included) would be able/willing to have a relationship with a paraplegic than a quadriplegic. . Except we were talking about people _already involved_ with said quadriplegic; even to the point of being ‘in love’. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/330 "2012-06-25T01:03:45Z")
> [@Jman](#): > > Ambivalid, you’re way out of line. And I’d say that to anyone who tells anyone else “You weren’t in love.” Were the other guys in love with her? Don’t know, but telling another person they weren’t in love is, again, so damn arrogant. Actually, you’re right. To say that she was never in love was not the right thing to say nor was in what I was really intending to say. Yes, in fact, if her wheelchair were reason enough to end a relationship then I’d say that the guys were never in love with her. I asked her, originally in her “Ask the…” thread, if she had ever truly been in love. Now can one be _in love_ when it’s unreciprocated? Truly? I’d say no. True love is a symbiotic thing. It may not last the same for both partners, but at least it’s felt at one point by both. But this is more of a philosophical argument and not appropriate for the post. My answer should have been simply ‘the guys were never in love with you’. I am guilty, once again, of clumsy wording. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/331 "2012-06-25T01:08:33Z")
> [@choie](#): > > _That’s_ what triggered my warning signs. Good God, look at **blinkie**. _This_ guy, with locked-in syndrome for fuck’s sake, a condition that makes **umkay** ’s difficulties communicating (such as they are) seem as nought, managed to find other threads besides his own to hang around in when he could, having fun in The Games Room for example. If I recall, however, **blinkie** posted _only_ in the “Ask the Guy with Locked In Syndrome” thread for awhile because, despite his multiple interests, it takes a lot of time for him to compose and post. Likewise, **umkay** has stated she feels some obligation to answer in the “Ask the Gal in the Wheelchair” thread and it’s taking up quite a bit of her posting time. Her lack of posting in other threads is actually consistent with being disabled, and compare to it some other new arrivals who rack up a dozen new threads the first day and definitely out-post even eloquent **umkay**. As for the fancy formatting and emoticons and such - she’s already touched on it, but seriously people, you think it’s HARD to type a semi-colon followed by a close parenthesis to generate a winking smilie? Here, let’s try it: 😉 Heck, I haven’t any special training or practice or incentive but I’m pretty sure I could stick a pen in my mouth right now and bang out those two with the improvised mouthstick. > [@](#): > > He’s also given identifying info (when he was on the _Today Show_ or _GMA_, one of the two) and wrote about his life in _Teemings_ (actually sharing a mini-autobiography he’d spent a long time writing already). Locked in syndrome is rare enough that it’s likely someone with it will appear on TV or in a newspaper. Quadriplegia, alas, is not so rare as that and unless it’s a football player or prior celebrity there’s no reason to think a person suffering it will appear in any notable mass media. > [@](#): > > If she spends as much time on the internet as someone claimed above (to explain why she’s so adept at multiple methods of formatting her posts), then she knows exactly how many fakers and scammers there are. She should also know, if she spent years lurking here, that many of us are skeptics and do ask for some proof of unusual claims. On another message board a group of posters disputed my claim to be a pilot and a woman (much too long a story to go into). Despite pictures, confirmation by people who knew me, and a lunch with one of the chief moderators on the board (who happens to be an Air Force pilot and confirmed both my gender and the validity of my pilot’s license - that wasn’t why we had lunch together but since we were, what the hell, right?) there are to this day a group of people who doubt the veracity of my gender and flying skills. As I said, for some people there will _never_ be sufficient proof. So why get on the merry-go-round? > [@](#): > > \*\* And someone with carers and a zillion bucks who’s able to get around relatively regularly can only get a single mani-pedi per season? She only NEEDS a single mani-pedi per season because they last so long on her. I’m certain that if the occasion was special enough she could get one whenever she wanted to or felt the need. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/332 "2012-06-25T01:13:15Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > So maybe you can see why some AB people find it hard to imagine a quadriplegic composing and editing posts more quickly than most of can with two hands, a mouse and a keyboard. I’ve seen how slow most AB’s can type - you do realize that’s a very low bar you’re setting, right? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/333 "2012-06-25T01:14:34Z")
The whole, “You’re accusing me of trolling? Well, I obviously _could_ post proof of my identity but I choose not to because you just wouldn’t believe it anyway so the whole exercise would be pointless, etc. etc.” thing is pretty much classic trollery. Are you guys new to the Internet or what? I’m still not 100% sure either way. If **umkay** posted some kind of evidence (and it’s not true that there’s literally nothing she could do that would work as evidence; hell, a photo of herself next to a computer logged into the SDMB would do it for me), or even just hung around and turned into a regular poster, that might sway me. But so far all signs point to troll. > [@Giraffe](#): > > You are _really_ slowing down. Remember when [you wrote three posts](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15092032&postcount=120) within four minutes of each other, with multiquoting and formatting? Or [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15097950#post15097950), which only took you ten minutes? Or [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15094698&postcount=207), where you managed to quote someone, edit the quote down, and write out a reply in just one minute. > > So maybe you can see why some AB people find it hard to imagine a quadriplegic composing and editing posts more quickly than most of can with two hands, a mouse and a keyboard. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/334 "2012-06-25T01:19:26Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Many posters here have photos in the gallery or have supplied other real life info. Fer chrissake, how hard would it be for her to send a confidential link to a mod of her Facebook page or something? It wouldn’t be hard, but I would find it a disturbing precedent to set. So far as I know, no one else has ever been asked to do such a thing. Frankly, maintaining what imperfect anonymity is available here is one of the draws. If I were suddenly required to provide proof of my existence here I’m not certain I’d stay around. It’s much like the complaining some people do about the use of usernames instead of a person’s legal name in forums - OMG! If they aren’t ashamed of who they are/what they believe _why don’t they use their real name?_ If **umkay** isn’t a troll why doesn’t she use her real name/prover her existence? Well, because _no one else is required to do that here_. Not to mention the “problem” that many people _don’t_ have a Facebook page, _don’t_ appear on TV, and so on. Believe in **umkay** or don’t believe in her, but don’t single her out for identity requirements _no one else has been or is subjected to_. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/335 "2012-06-25T01:23:26Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Believe in **umkay** or don’t believe in her, but don’t single her out for identity requirements _no one else has been or is subjected to_. She’s not Santa Claus. I think the phrase you’re looking for here is “Believe her or don’t believe her.” Although your choice of phrase is perhaps somewhat telling. She’s not just a poster on the SDMB who may or may not be yanking our collective chain! She’s a _symbol_! Of everything that is right with the world! _Believe_ in her, man! ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/336 "2012-06-25T01:24:17Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > As I said, for some people there will _never_ be sufficient proof. So why get on the merry-go-round? As to this defense being used any time anyone is asked to provide basic proof for fantastic claims; :dubious: _Yes_, of course there will always be un-convincable skeptics who can’t be persuaded. Let’s forget about that (relatively) small bunch and consider the much greater number of people who _ **would** _ be satisfied with just a small bit of proof. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/337 "2012-06-25T01:28:57Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Ok, so let me get this straight: You think the _model of chair_ I have, as well as the fact that I can feel my legs, I don’t have to catheterize myself in order to urinate and that I like to exercise are mitigating factors in love? You think these are reasons for a girl to stay with me, when if they weren’t present she’d leave me? That is UTTER crazy talk. It just solidifies my opinion that you’ve never been in love. > > TRUST me, I have my own set of extremely unpretty, embarrassing, ‘I wish this wasn’t my body’ issues. And they are fairly unique to my body (given the unusual circumstances of my SCI). I’m far from a “normal guy” who’s just ‘permanently seated’. You don’t KNOW my situation, so you can’t say how far or how close it is to your situation. Slight OT, but speaking as someone married to someone who has yet another variant on SCI… Yeah, a quad and a motorized wheelchair would be more of an obstacle _to me_ than **Ambivalid’s** situation (and not that it’s anyone’s business but what the hell, it’s always TMI time on the Dope, even though my spouse doesn’t normally use a chair he still needs to self-cath in order to piss. Yay, even in SCIland everyone is different.) I don’t know if it would be a total deal-killer or not, but seriously, **Ambivalid** , I’m totally confident that if a person I loved was in _your_ situation with your sort of injury and impairment I could deal with it and it wouldn’t stop me from joining a long-term relationship. If that hypothetical person had **umkay’s** level of disability… I dunno. I truly do not know. I’d like to think I could overcome my reservations and that love would triumph over all but if I am honest… yes, that sort of situation _would_ be an obstacle. A serious one. Sure, **Ambivalid** , you’ve got issues with dating and body image and I would never want to minimize that, but from where I’m sitting I think she’s got a point. She is at more of a disadvantage in the meeting/dating/mating arena than you are. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/338 "2012-06-25T01:31:25Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > As to this defense being used any time anyone is asked to provide basic proof for fantastic claims; :dubious: _Yes_, of course there will always be un-convincable skeptics who can’t be persuaded. Let’s forget about that (relatively) small bunch and consider the much greater number of people who _ **would** _ be satisfied with just a small bit of proof. Or we could just laugh at the truthers and birthers like Donald Trump who is still insisting Obama was born in Kenya to non-citizen parents despite all the evidence against such claims. Or those who continue to insist 9/11 was an inside job controlled demolition. If a poster is a troll or a fake that will sooner or later come out. If it does, then shame on them, not shame on those who believed a good story. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/339 "2012-06-25T01:31:48Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > On another message board a group of posters disputed my claim to be a pilot and a woman (much too long a story to go into). Despite pictures, confirmation by people who knew me, and a lunch with one of the chief moderators on the board (who happens to be an Air Force pilot and confirmed both my gender and the validity of my pilot’s license - that wasn’t why we had lunch together but since we were, what the hell, right?) there are to this day a group of people who doubt the veracity of my gender and flying skills. Yeah, right…you’re trying tell us you REALLY fly a broomstick? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/340 "2012-06-25T01:51:20Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Start here: [The mystery of Wally. - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=229542) and in that thread there’s a fair amount of “eh, maybe he was a troll and faked his death, but whatevs, does it really matter?” the more things change, the more they stay the same. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=18)