# I Pit NotOkay for convincing the entire board umkay had died! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044 "2012-06-23T07:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/341 "2012-06-25T01:54:34Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > . She is at more of a disadvantage in the meeting/dating/mating arena than you are. Um…And I would _completely_ agree with her, if this was what she was saying. We were discussing being ‘in love’ and my point was basically that if you’re really in love, the extent of the disability isn’t relevant. Of course I agree with the quoted premise, but this wasn’t what was being discussed. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/342 "2012-06-25T02:05:55Z")
At least umkay’s husband and kids weren’t hit by a semi driver who was both drunk AND texting, and then she was hit by a speeder on her way to her trauma shift while she was 35 weeks preggo ON MOTHER’S DAY, but no worries because the baby’s fine. (Nor does she have a really unhealthy obsession with either twins, or the number 11.) Holy shit there are some gullible peoples on the internet. Also, where the fuck are these batshit people getting their gallons of spare time? I can’t even get my school work finished most days. Shitfuck. (all observations taken from my recent discovery of the Warrior Eli/Emily Dirr Fb clusterfuck.) ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/343 "2012-06-25T02:13:11Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Um…And I would _completely_ agree with her, if this was what she was saying. We were discussing being ‘in love’ and my point was basically that if you’re really in love, the extent of the disability isn’t relevant. Of course I agree with the quoted premise, but this wasn’t what was being discussed. Look, people mean very different things from one another when they talk about being ‘in love.’ Even though I experience a very clear demarcation between that exceedingly rare event in my life of being what I call ‘in love’ and merely being infatuated with someone, it’s already clear from what you’ve said that you and I mean only somewhat similar things by those two words. Saying she couldn’t have been ‘in love’ because her experience didn’t meet your definition is bullshit. All you’re really saying, only with great prejudice attached unfortunately, is that she is not you. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/344 "2012-06-25T02:15:47Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Um…And I would _completely_ agree with her, if this was what she was saying. We were discussing being ‘in love’ and my point was basically that if you’re really in love, the extent of the disability isn’t relevant. Of course I agree with the quoted premise, but this wasn’t what was being discussed. Well, just to be clear, I disagree with you. Love _does not_ triumph over everything. We can, of course, agree to disagree on this. ---
**Author:** ![winneee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a88e4f/32.png) [@winneee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winneee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/345 "2012-06-25T02:20:54Z")
IMO, the naysayers are acting like crazy, drunk Aunt Gert during the first real family dinner with the new beau. Way to scare away a new poster, folks. Perhaps someday I’ll fully comprehend the evil that being educated about disabilities has shown me. Or, maybe instead I’ll take from this the horrifying notion that the human spirit can transcend more than any of us think is possible and even the worst tragedy can be survived. I’ll tell ya, when I think of the sheer fucking optimism of that thread, my blood just fucking boils. Good gawd. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/346 "2012-06-25T02:22:45Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > hell, a photo of herself next to a computer logged into the SDMB would do it for me… And I will be the first to provide [proof of my identity](http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/4985/bindopin.jpg) in this manner, so that others will feel safer doing so. (hopefully this will also dispel the claims that I am dead). ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/347 "2012-06-25T02:38:25Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Except we were talking about people _already involved_ with said quadriplegic; even to the point of being ‘in love’. I know, but they could get involved thinking they could handle it, and then find out they’re not able to. Whatever though, I don’t know if I’ve ever been in love, and I’m not even comfortable with the term “in love” so I might not know what I’m talking about. Anyway, I now know she’s definitely a troll so this is all pretend. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/348 "2012-06-25T02:49:29Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > And I will be the first to provide [proof of my identity](http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/4985/bindopin.jpg) in this manner, so that others will feel safer doing so. (hopefully this will also dispel the claims that I am dead). I _knew_ it! ---
**Author:** ![Patience\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@Patience\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patience_Jones)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/349 "2012-06-25T02:55:19Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Anyway, I now know she’s definitely a troll so this is all pretend. Ooh, do tell! ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/350 "2012-06-25T03:05:26Z")
> [@Patience\_Jones](#): > > Ooh, do tell! Too much for me to write it all out but I think someone will be along shortly to share. I’m not sure how allowed it is to post links. Well, this should be fine to post: google “sezyoo site:whattoexpect.com” ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/351 "2012-06-25T03:08:54Z")
Yep, definitely a troll. [Here she is](http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:H9oeLT_Nq7MJ:www.whattoexpect.com/forums/may-2012-babies/topic/ask-a-quadriplegic+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us) a few months ago, with a different story (but similar) on a mommy board discussing her pregnancy and breastfeeding issues. The pictures she posted were recognized by a schoolmate of the actual person in the pictures. Shortly after being outed and leaving that message board… she shows up here. ---
**Author:** ![Patience\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@Patience\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patience_Jones)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/352 "2012-06-25T03:11:14Z")
Whoa. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/353 "2012-06-25T03:15:01Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Can I ask what ‘smelled funny’ to you, exactly? I’m curious… Ok, just got back from out of town, so I missed the new developments of this thread, and haven’t read it yet. I want to respond to this though. I felt a ‘contrived’ feeling from it. Like I said, it was the same thing with the Hal Briston sheep thing (sorry, Hal, don’t mean to pick on you, I love you as a poster not kidding!) but like I said, when threads seem contrived, I am suspicious. It normally doesn’t matter to me. I consider messageboarding something of a sport, and if someone isn’t being ‘real’ about who they are, no big deal. But in that thread, I would have felt weird interacting when I didn’t buy it. I think I mainly didn’t buy it because anytime there is a HUGE postive reaction to a brand new poster and they manage not to be rubbing ANYONE the wrong way, it just seems a bit off. Even the most popular posters will rub some wrong, unless they have a talent for working all the angles to come off as awesome to everyone. Trolls tend to have that talent. By the time Notokay came on the scene, it was obvious. So, that is why it felt a bit off. But I admit that my BS meter is over sensitive. ETA: as I typed this, I see sarabellum was on the case. ---
**Author:** ![CyclopticXander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@CyclopticXander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CyclopticXander)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/354 "2012-06-25T03:23:49Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > Yep, definitely a troll. [Here she is](http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:H9oeLT_Nq7MJ:www.whattoexpect.com/forums/may-2012-babies/topic/ask-a-quadriplegic+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us) a few months ago, with a different story (but similar) on a mommy board discussing her pregnancy and breastfeeding issues. > > The pictures she posted were recognized by a schoolmate of the actual person in the pictures. Shortly after being outed and leaving that message board… she shows up here. OK my mind is open now, but what in particular makes you think it’s the same person? Also why can’t I go past page 1 of that thread? Whenever I click next or a page number it takes me back to the main forum. Am I missing something/stupid? ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/355 "2012-06-25T03:25:00Z")
The poster in question deleted all her posts and left the board. This is pulled up via Google cache. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/356 "2012-06-25T03:29:57Z")
_monocle pops off in astonishment_ ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/357 "2012-06-25T03:30:44Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Likewise, umkay has stated she feels some obligation to answer in the “Ask the Gal in the Wheelchair” thread and it’s taking up quite a bit of her posting time. Of _course_ she spends most her time in the **Ask the…** thread. That’s where her courtiers are, that’s where the attention is. Wouldn’t be nearly as fun to just be a “mundane” and post in someone else’s thread and _not_ mention her condition. BTW, **Broomstick** , she spent _years_ lurking here. She didn’t have to start posting about her status as lust-object-of-devotees, but she decided to start with the biggest possible bang for her buck: “Hey, I’m a sexy quad and these weirdo sexual obsessives are after me. What should I do?” Most normal posters begin their ‘careers’ here by just, y’know… participating in others’ threads. They’re not intent on becoming the star of the entire show. > [@](#): > > Her lack of posting in other threads is actually consistent with being disabled, and compare to it some other new arrivals who rack up a dozen new threads the first day and definitely out-post even eloquent umkay. > > As for the fancy formatting and emoticons and such - she’s already touched on it, but seriously people, you think it’s HARD to type a semi-colon followed by a close parenthesis to generate a winking smilie? Here, let’s try it: Heck, I haven’t any special training or practice or incentive but I’m pretty sure I could stick a pen in my mouth right now and bang out those two with the improvised mouthstick. Heh. People are trying to have it both ways: either she’s a speed demon poster 'cause in addition to carer help she has software and a mouth-operated mouse cursor she’s expert at, or, as you said above, she’s too _sloooow_, and it’s just too _haaaard_, for the disabled woman to be expected to post elsewhere. So which is it? I know **Blinkie** took a while to post elsewhere, but he had a much better excuse for being singleminded. His posts were painstaking efforts and took him a very long time to compose. **umkay** is awesomely fast, posting multiple times in a fifteen minute period at times. Not even in the same ballpark. > [@winneee](#): > > Perhaps someday I’ll fully comprehend the evil that being educated about disabilities has shown me. Or, maybe instead I’ll take from this the horrifying notion that the human spirit can transcend more than any of us think is possible and even the worst tragedy can be survived. I’ll tell ya, when I think of the sheer fucking optimism of that thread, my blood just fucking boils. Wow. Now doubting someone and asking for some evidence of extroardinary claims from a newbie is _evil_. Well, send me down on the Hell Express, then. Personally, I actually think someone who’s lying and getting your rocks off making fools of good-hearted people is a lot worse than just asking someone who, if she’s telling the truth, should really not be surprised by the incredulity of a few posters on an anonymous internet board. And I’m sorry, but she spent 400 posts proving to us just how equal she is, and how she doesn’t want any pity parties or special treatment (other than what’s physically necessary obviously). Well, welcome to Equaltown, **umkay** – population, about 137K, but now with one new citizen: you. You’re just like the rest of us on the SDMB, where we’re supposedly not just “a page of words” where “lying” is just something everyone does (really disappointing to hear this from our administrator, but okay, she’s probably world-weary already); instead, at least according to that blue logo up there, we’re allegedly devoted to fighting ignorance, which includes doing our best not to perpetuate lies. At least we should be discouraging them. Skepticism isn’t a bad thing, even (shock! horror!) against a poor defenseless (_ **not!** _) newbie. So just as there’s nothing inherently “EVIL!” about questioning an able-bodied person who makes unusual claims, there’s nothing inherently “EVIL” about questioning a quadriplegic who goes skydiving, has one-night stands, is hugely rich and gorgeous. ---
**Author:** ![Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/do_not_taunt/32/2968_2.png) [@Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Do_Not_Taunt)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/358 "2012-06-25T03:37:44Z")
I think my personal pendulum has now swung the other way: it appears more likely than not that **umkay** is the sezyoo poster, and I find that saddening. I am one of the posters who, while avoiding a creepy crush on **umkay** , did find my mind surprisingly opened by that thread - about the day-to-day life and existence of quads, and frankly, it made me think that were I ever to lose use of all of my limbs, hey, it ain’t so bad. I could still skydive and have orgasms. But now it seems like thread may have been all - or mostly - bullshit, and that makes me kind of sad. Guess I’ll go back to kicking cripples now. Sorry, Jamie. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/359 "2012-06-25T03:39:38Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Ok Oh, I’ve long since had my eyes opened. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/360 "2012-06-25T03:39:42Z")
This is the thread detailing the [aftermath](http://www.whattoexpect.com/forums/may-2012-babies/topic/sezyoo-explanation?page=1) of the outing. This is not my original research, by the way. Someone else here upthread mentioned “Sezyoo” after seeing this elsewhere. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=19)