# I Pit NotOkay for convincing the entire board umkay had died! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044 "2012-06-23T07:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/461 "2012-06-25T11:29:16Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > How many days do you have left? BigT’s point in the other thread was that if SDMB was the only place to interact with people and keep mentally limber for a person with dementia, then restricting access to it would hasten the condition and lead to a reduced lifespan. Not an argument I buy, but no point in misrepresenting his position. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/462 "2012-06-25T11:30:07Z")
Loving this. **Umkay** getting outed was good enough, but you’re just piling on the whipped cream. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/463 "2012-06-25T11:41:50Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > Yep, definitely a troll. [Here she is](http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:H9oeLT_Nq7MJ:www.whattoexpect.com/forums/may-2012-babies/topic/ask-a-quadriplegic+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us) a few months ago, with a different story (but similar) on a mommy board discussing her pregnancy and breastfeeding issues. > > The pictures she posted were recognized by a schoolmate of the actual person in the pictures. Shortly after being outed and leaving that message board… she shows up here. This is reasonably convincing evidence IMO. And I for one feel betrayed. (If you believe that’s over-the-top naive, so be it) ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/464 "2012-06-25T11:48:14Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > This is reasonably convincing evidence IMO. And I for one feel betrayed. (If you believe that’s over-the-top naive, so be it) Betrayal from kooky usernames on the internet always hurts the hardest. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/465 "2012-06-25T11:51:39Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > BigT’s point in the other thread was that if SDMB was the only place to interact with people and keep mentally limber for a person with dementia, then restricting access to it would hasten the condition and lead to a reduced lifespan. Not an argument I buy, but no point in misrepresenting his position. BigT has said [messageboard has become my life](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12463696&postcount=27) and he’s said that any sort of behavior that he, personally, disapproves of damages his enjoyment of it\*. Therefore, by not behaving _exactly_ as BigT wants, we’re killing him softly with our snark. \*Hence his handwringing net-nannying posts ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/466 "2012-06-25T11:53:12Z")
I would encourage those of you who think vigilante education about quads is the only effect thus type of trolling could have to check out the [disabilitytrolls.blogspot.com](http://disabilitytrolls.blogspot.com) link provided above. We spend much time angsting about the hypothetical future SDMB user (what will they think if they need to wait to post?! What about the cuss words?!). Look again at a thread perpetuated by a pretender from the eyes of a wheelchair user seeking a connection. Not as innocent as just educating the ignorant ABs then. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/467 "2012-06-25T12:14:32Z")
Huh, after doing a “whois” on the whattoexpact website, turns out it’s owned by Bing and Cecil Inc. The rabbit hole just gets deeper and deeper. Someone could contact the owner or a site administrator over at that site for more details and to establish where the next target is likely to be (probably on a site not cached by google). Oh and where _is_ Wally, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/468 "2012-06-25T12:15:12Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Loving this. **Umkay** getting outed was good enough, but you’re just piling on the whipped cream. Thanks! And there it is… I think it’s funny since I originally just was agreeing that regardless of the outcome, people jumped the gun here. And you prompted me for response that you wanted so you could jump on me. And I obliged. Hmm…that tactic has a name on message boards. Sorry, I’m blanking for a minute on the exact term for that. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/469 "2012-06-25T12:17:09Z")
But what I wanna know is: Is anyone still mad at NotOK for (falsely) announcing umkay’s death? (Which is what started this thread to begin with.) ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/470 "2012-06-25T12:19:23Z")
> [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](#): > > But what I wanna know is: > > Is anyone still mad at NotOK for (falsely) announcing umkay’s death? (Which is what started this thread to begin with.) No, because it now seems probable they are one-in-the-same. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/471 "2012-06-25T12:22:00Z")
Wow. I may be wrong, but I, for one, don’t feel one bit butthurt. All this drama is making this the most exciting Monday morning in a long time! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/472 "2012-06-25T12:29:12Z")
Somebody has found the evidence of trollery. So now the blood-letting may begin. It’s all a shame. Don’t know why someone has to do that kind of thing. I should have been suspicious from the start. She preferred Coke to Pepsi. Dead give away. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/473 "2012-06-25T12:43:09Z")
I feel sorry for anonymous posters on anonymous message boards who have to invent characters so they can receive anonymous accolades about someone they’re not. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/474 "2012-06-25T12:47:16Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > The lack of awareness and humility here is making my morning, I gotta admit. I love the smell of irony in the morning. > [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > And a gullible idiot, of course, but you were that all along. Now you’ve just added “graceless dupe” to that. I’m sure he’ll just consider the source. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/475 "2012-06-25T13:03:41Z")
Hilarious. Pure gold. Skepticism is good. For those posters crying over an anonymous person on the internet and wanting to send a fake dead quadriplegic girl flowers, think about someone in your real life who might actually need or appreciate some of your attention and go give it to them instead. I don’t think this internet message board thing is the best idea for you. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/476 "2012-06-25T13:07:45Z")
One other argument advanced by the ‘don’t jump on her’ side was what I’ll call the “Music Man” argument. Towards the end of _The Music Man_, when Professor Harold Hill, the ‘Music Man,’ is revealed to be a fraud and scam artist, Marian the Librarian defends him on the ground that, sure, he’s a fraud and scammer, but didn’t he make our lives more fun and interesting since he showed up? You get the idea. I don’t think this argument is without its merits, but what it comes down to for me is, it doesn’t excuse the fake-death-and-resurrection drama. I’ve got no objection to someone pretending to be something different than what they are on the Internet. Who the fuck knows who’s at that other keyboard, and does it really matter anyway if they are just playing a part? I know I learned a lot about life as a (very well-off) quadriplegic through **umkay** ’s thread, and the fact that it was written as well as it was, and because she came off as a very engaging person, was why I bothered to read as much of it as I did. That’s not a bad thing. AFAIAC, if you want to play someone else on the Internet, that’s just fine, as long as you don’t use that play-acting as a means of jerking people around. But that’s the problem, of course - it seems that people who play someone they’re not on the Web _generally are_ out to play with people’s heads. As was the case here. So I’d say this argument is a loser in this particular case, and it would be in most such cases. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/477 "2012-06-25T13:08:05Z")
I feel quite silly, because I’d never questioned umkay until I saw this thread. (I didn’t see NotOkay’s post). In retrospect, the stuff about quadriplegia seemed very apt, but some of the other stuff was possibly questionable (nothing individually unlikely, but lots of things presented in an implausible way). In fact, at the time, I thought the suggestion that umkay should write a book was flattering but a bit patronising: lots of people write well, but have a full time job, whether or not they’re also medically condemned to take 6 hours to get up in the morning, and even if they COULD write a book, that’s not necessarily better than what they’re already doing. But now, I don’t know what umkay does, but I feel like they SHOULD write a book, now I know their thread showed a lot of creative writing than was immediately apparent. In fact, I wonder if umkay is disabled, or close to someone who’s disabled, but maybe someone who does write engagingly but isn’t as popular or well-off as her fictional persona. I almost want to say “come back to SDMB and keep posting”, but I suppose that would set a bad precedent. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/478 "2012-06-25T13:08:10Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Nope. I can’t be bothered. I have better things to do with my time than to go on a witch hunt. You don’t understand the concept of witch hunt. ---
**Author:** ![dngnb8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@dngnb8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dngnb8)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/479 "2012-06-25T13:10:50Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I feel sorry for anonymous posters on anonymous message boards who have to invent characters so they can receive anonymous accolades about someone they’re not. > > Wow. Message boards and social media has grown into something more then intended. There are those who derive pleasure from yanking chains. This event has a few possibilities. 1. NotOkay is a MuP of Umkay. IP address typically resolves this 2. NotOkay is a friend of Umkay. How else would have NotOkay known Umkay would be out for a while to play the hoax. 3. NotOkay got lucky: Pure luck that Umkays week luck absence occurred to play the prank. What ever the truth is, all we have is the Submit Reply to generate our opinions on. Fair or unfair, some people will view Umkay with a bit more critical thought. The trust associated with Umkays posts will be impacted whether fair or not down the road. All in all, the end result is people are posting. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/480 "2012-06-25T13:14:12Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > You don’t understand the concept of witch hunt. The dangers of witch hunts are not excused by the presence of an actual witch. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=25)