# I Pit NotOkay for convincing the entire board umkay had died! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044 "2012-06-23T07:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 33
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/641 "2012-06-25T18:17:00Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Well, I can personally vouch that you are who you claim to be. Of course, no one knows if _I’m_ for real! Well I’d vouch for your realness, but then we’d cancel each other out. > [@](#): > > Seriously though, I missed that entirely. But a perfect example then of the accused rising above bullshit when it runs the other way. As distressing as I’m sure it was at the time, you aren’t some delicate flower who runs away from accusations in self-pity, and that’s the way we like 'em here. I can see your point. I think it’s good that I have tougher skin now. But I also think people should try to be nice to each other. I can see evidence for accusing\*\* umkay\*\* of being a sock, but I’m not convinced there was sufficient evidence to ban her. That seems unfair. I guess we’ll never know. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/642 "2012-06-25T18:17:53Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > It’s a completely different game when people are trying to troll people out of money. Sympathy trolls are simply sad fucks, mostly harmless, and should be pitied, not hated. Horseshit–sympathy trolls can easily become money trolls–they’re on the same exact spectrum, it’s just a matter of degree. And it’s not a big leap from “My baby has lukemia :(” to “OMG! My insurance was just cancelled! My precious baby will be taken off of chemotherapy!” We even had one here years ago who made that transition (or tried to) ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/643 "2012-06-25T18:18:22Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Yes, there is. But it’s not unreasonable to say this story was extraordinary and any other random “Ask the” thread or the life story of any random Doper is not. See that’s what I’m not so sure of. If I go and pick a random “Ask the..” thread, like, say this one: > **[Ask the parent of a kid with Down Syndrome](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=656037)** > > Okay, someone suggested I move the discussion about Down syndrome to an “ask” thread, so here it is. I have an 11-year-old girl with DS. I’ll share, but I won’t get too specific because I value my privacy and there are creeps on the Internet. My... NOTE: I AM NOT CALLING LANCE STRONGARM A TROLL, NOR AM I ABOUT TO DO SO. We’ve got a new poster (Joined Jun 2012) “claiming” to be a parent of a disabled child, writing in a cheerful enough manner. But he says right up front he won’t get too specific because of internet creeps. If this thread goes on long enough to develop a following, will his story become “extraordinary” as he reveals more and more details, but keeps his boundaries? Will people commending him for his thread be seen as feeding a potential troll? Surely somewhere out there someone has at one time trolled a message board pretending to be a parent of a DS child. If someone digs up old posts from that troll, do they automatically cast doubt on Lance? How recent would the other troll have to be to link them? How close would the screen name have to be? AGAIN, I DON’T THINK HE’S A TROLL. THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE. I’M JUST TRYING TO SAY THE FOLLOWING: Anyone opening an “Ask The…” thread will, by definition, have something interesting in their life worth asking about. Is having an interesting life really extraordinary? When you compile a list of details about a person’s life, the longer the list gets, the more unlikely for someone to fit it. But that’s true of any person. > [@](#): > > In real life, people who get caught doing this kind of thing usually don’t broke down in tears of remorse and apologize to all the people whose trust they abused. They just wait for the heat to die down and then take their act somewhere else. I’m not expecting a breakdown and apology. Honestly a “got you! suckaz!!!” would be more likely. And as you said, slinking off would be more likely still. But if you expect her to go away, what’s the point of a ban? The mods have to use their judgement with banning, of course, and their word is final, but it just seems hasty here to me. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/644 "2012-06-25T18:19:16Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > Sure, be skeptical of every damn thing. why not? Well, yeah. “Ask the rich, funny, sexy, wonderful-personality-ed paraplegic girl” is something that maybe demands a little more skepticism than “Ask the tax attorney,” although certainly someone on the internet can lie about that, too. > [@](#): > > Like I said before, I don’t think any of the evidence ever crossed over from “highly suspicious” to “conclusive,” no matter how many people call it “proof.” I think in part it depends on your familiarity with people doing this kind of thing. Once you’ve seen this happen before or someone calls your attention to the possibility that this is fake, it starts to fit into a very familiar pattern. We have not had a whole ton of frauds like this, but we’ve had a few, and we’ve certainly had trolls. The fact that someone was caught pretending to be a very similar person to **umkay** on another board just a month or two ago is a pretty outrageous coincidence, don’t you think? (Even the names were similar, if my experience with that type of thing counts for anything.) > [@](#): > > I would have loved to see if **umkay** ever addressed the sezyoo charges. Wasn’t going to happen. She was closing up shop: she’d said she wouldn’t do anything to prove she was legit, she said she was no longer going to post to the ‘Ask the girl in the wheelchair’ thread, and so on. Eventually she’ll probably show up on some other board and try to trick generous people into flocking to her defense. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/645 "2012-06-25T18:22:30Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Edit: If cochrane rescinded his post, I’ll rescind my response. Onto the second half of what was written here originally… > > And since it would be ill-advised to submit this in the ATMB thread the above was posted in, I’ll respond here: HA! It’s true. A lot of my reaction to her postings was that she talked so purty. I wasn’t ever part of this Oh, brave quad," thing, but I thought she had an engaging and witty style. I still do. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/646 "2012-06-25T18:23:26Z")
> [@Jman](#): > > Just in case you hadn’t noticed, I have not claimed umkay was ‘real’ since the whole sezyoo thing came to light. I fully admit I was wrong and have several times. Yeah, I’m just fuckin’ with you, killa. I like you. No beef with you. Just teasing you. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/647 "2012-06-25T18:24:17Z")
[All I’ve got to say is](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LM0CZZ9Uw8). ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/648 "2012-06-25T18:24:36Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > Anyone opening an “Ask The…” thread will, by definition, have something interesting in their life worth asking about. Not necessarily. There was a “Ask the Child Of Privilege” type thread which amounted to “Ask the upper-middle class kid with the absolutely average life with no life experience who thinks that having carpeting in every room and a couple of TV sets makes you SUPER ULTRA BILL-GATES-LEVEL rich and super-interesting to all the peons” thread. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/649 "2012-06-25T18:28:15Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Not necessarily. There was a “Ask the Child Of Privilege” type thread which amounted to “Ask the upper-middle class kid with the absolutely average life with no life experience who thinks that having carpeting in every room and a couple of TV sets makes you SUPER ULTRA BILL-GATES-LEVEL rich and super-interesting to all the peons” thread. How the hell’d I miss that. That would have been awesome! I’ve got so many questions! ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/650 "2012-06-25T18:28:32Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > If this is supposed to act as some lesson for healthy skeptics to be careful about who you accuse on the internet of being a troll, because you’ll drive them away and hurt their feeling if you’re wrong, then: > > 1. I can’t recall this ever happening here. Has anything like this happened before? > > 2. I think you’re drawing the astoundingly wrong lesson to be learned here. > > Seriously, wtf? We had a similar, but far less elaborate/well-organized situation with **Fried Dough Ho**. Those of us who doubted that her life had been all that she claimed (_Made out with Anthony Bourdain! Lived on a boat! Raped 3 separate times! Got to attend a sooper-sekrit Freemason ritual thingy_) were basically told that we were jealous and why couldn’t we believe that someone had a more interesting life than we do. Of course the end to that story was that **FDH** ended up banned. I never did find out why, though… ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/651 "2012-06-25T18:31:16Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Consider that people will tend to talk to you like you’re a stupid child when you are behaving like a stupid child. Please. Go. Stand. In. The. Corner. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/652 "2012-06-25T18:34:21Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Horseshit–sympathy trolls can easily become money trolls–they’re on the same exact spectrum, it’s just a matter of degree. And it’s not a big leap from “My baby has lukemia :(” to “OMG! My insurance was just cancelled! My precious baby will be taken off of chemotherapy!” > > We even had one here years ago who made that transition (or tried to) Fortunately, it would have been pretty hard for **umkay** to have made that transition, given her claims of wealth. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/653 "2012-06-25T18:36:54Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > Anyone opening an “Ask The…” thread will, by definition, have something interesting in their life worth asking about. Is having an interesting life really extraordinary? No, and sometimes it makes sense to become more skeptical of a given story over time. But the cute sexy paralyzed skydiving funny quadriplegic goes a few degrees beyond just “interesting,” doesn’t it? Detach yourself from your experiences with **umkay** for moment and imagine that you’d just gotten a letter out of the blue from someone claiming to be that person with that life story. Would you believe it? It’s not that the elements of the story are impossible or that the **umkay** story is that much harder to believe than the lives of some other posters. There really are amazing people out there. (Some of them are too busy living their amazing lives to join a message board.) It’s that taken all together, her story and her persona really were a little too much. Add in the fact that a similar person - a young woman in California with the exact same type of spinal injury and a similar name and a similar username, although the sezyoo writing style was maybe a little less literate and youthful - was just caught pulling a con on another board. In real life you don’t usually get the amount of proof you are seeking, unfortunatley. Trolls don’t often 'fess up. For one thing, confessing implies remorse, and for another, if they are in it because they want people to love them and fawn over them, they’re not going to renounce the emotional attachment they feel they have won by admitting it was based on lies. On a message board, you can’t demand someone answer a question and stop them from getting away. They just don’t have to answer a question like ‘Why did you do it?’ and they usually won’t. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/654 "2012-06-25T18:38:07Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > So how do you explain the “very thin circumstantial evidence” being dead on the money? Maybe it wasn’t so thin? Sometimes. The. Long. Odds. Bet. Pays. Off. > [@](#): > > Maybe you need to adjust your gullibility meter? Maybe. You. Shouldn’t. Twist. People’s. Words. > [@](#): > > Perhaps you need to take a breath and count to 10,000 the next time you decide to call someone an asshole for expressing a view that happens not to coincide with your own? See. Above. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/655 "2012-06-25T18:39:00Z")
That’s the real clincher. umkay showed up here out of the blue just a couple weeks after the other one was was outed over there. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/656 "2012-06-25T18:39:08Z")
> [@Jman](#): > > How the hell’d I miss that. That would have been awesome! I’ve got so many questions! [Here you go. Did you know that the super-rich’s kids can drink milk four times a DAY??](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=551065) That and other gems can be found in the above thread. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/657 "2012-06-25T18:40:30Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Sometimes. The. Long. Odds. Bet. Pays. Off. > Maybe. You. Shouldn’t. Twist. People’s. Words. See. Above. Ah-ha. No wonder your posts are bitchier than normal. You’re having your period. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/658 "2012-06-25T18:47:02Z")
I wrote this in the what the f\*\*\* thread, > [@](#): > > I came to the Dope in search of knowledge and firmly believe that most of us did as well, I do not lie on the Dope and believe that most of you tell the truth as well, I stay out of the PIT because I see enough of the dark side of Humanity. Call me naive, call me a fool, tell me I over use commas and write run-on sentences but I have no doubt as to the veracity of umkay. > > notokay you have violated me and mine as well as the rules we here all try to abide by. I have no idea of what you were trying to accomplish but what you have done is made an enemy of me. This is my home, our home and you shat on the living room carpet. Do not find yourself in a room alone with me or you will live up to your screen name notokay. > > The people here might be ones and zeros but they are, to me, as real as my flesh and blood friends. I rise every day and check in on my fellow Mumpers, see if I have any truths for GQ, opine in IMHO and even check out GD. I am a proud Doper, if still a newbie. > > I am not sure that I have a point here, other than my anger at YKW and maybe this post belongs in the pit so apologies to all the Dopers and Mods if it does. I am just glad that we got our girl back, crazy flying chair O’death and all. I shall have my humble pie with a side of crow please **CAPT** ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/659 "2012-06-25T18:48:59Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Horseshit–sympathy trolls can easily become money trolls–they’re on the same exact spectrum, it’s just a matter of degree. And it’s not a big leap from “My baby has lukemia :(” to “OMG! My insurance was just cancelled! My precious baby will be taken off of chemotherapy!” > > We even had one here years ago who made that transition (or tried to) Of course, a sympathy troll can become a money troll, and when they cross that line, they become contemptible scum. A sympathy troll who stays a sympathy troll is just sad. **umkay** was just a sympathy troll and showed no signs whatsoever that she would be anything else. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/660 "2012-06-25T18:54:37Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Ah-ha. No wonder your posts are bitchier than normal. You’re having your period. > 😃 Left myself open for that one, I did. :smack: 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=32) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=34)