# I Pit NotOkay for convincing the entire board umkay had died!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [June 23, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044 "2012-06-23T07:01:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 34

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/661 "2012-06-25T18:59:26Z")

</div>

Has no one considered the very real possibility that **umkay** is a genuine pretty, rich, perky-breasted quadriplegic who, because of her paralysis, feels she can never have a baby, yet desperately wishes she could and so constructed a fantasy of a husband and pregnancy on another board before being exposed and shunned, horribly embarrassed, and who, after a period of shamed reflection, returned to the internet once more - this time to seek absolution for her lies - ending up in the truthingest forum in the whole word as a place to make amends?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/662 "2012-06-25T19:00:37Z")

</div>

No.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/663 "2012-06-25T19:01:35Z")

</div>

> [@Bozuit](#):
>
> Has no one considered the very real possibility that **umkay** is a genuine pretty, rich, perky-breasted quadriplegic who, because of her paralysis, feels she can never have a baby, yet desperately wishes she could and so constructed a fantasy of a husband and pregnancy on another board before being exposed and shunned, horribly embarrassed, and who, after a period of shamed reflection, returned to the internet once more - this time to seek absolution for her lies - ending up in the truthingest forum in the whole word as a place to make amends?

Submitted for Joke of the Week.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/664 "2012-06-25T19:02:18Z")

</div>

> [@Bozuit](#):
>
> truthingest forum in the whole word

ha ha ha ha

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/665 "2012-06-25T19:02:31Z")

</div>

> [@Bozuit](#):
>
> Has no one considered the very real possibility that **umkay** is a genuine pretty, rich, perky-breasted quadriplegic who, because of her paralysis, feels she can never have a baby, yet desperately wishes she could and so constructed a fantasy of a husband and pregnancy on another board before being exposed and shunned, horribly embarrassed, and who, after a period of shamed reflection, returned to the internet once more - this time to seek absolution for her lies - ending up in the truthingest forum in the whole word as a place to make amends?

> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> No.

Love you, **MOL**!  
Mwah!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/666 "2012-06-25T19:03:57Z")

</div>

> [@Jman](#):
>
> Should we pit and claim troll for EVERY poster unless they provide references, or only if their stories are unusual?

It wasn’t just an unusual story, it was a _very_ unusual story, presented in a trollerific style apparently tailored to SDMB tendencies (opening with the unusual-sex-advice question, for example), which was ringing warning bells for more and more readers as it went on. Moreover, the threads had accrued an air of worshipful fandom. The whole thing was begging to be challenged.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/667 "2012-06-25T19:08:02Z")

</div>

I’m assuming Boizut was joking. Hoping, rather.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/668 "2012-06-25T19:09:02Z")

</div>

> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#):
>
> Of course, a sympathy troll can become a money troll, and when they cross that line, they become contemptible scum. A sympathy troll who stays a sympathy troll is just sad. **umkay** was just a sympathy troll and showed no signs whatsoever that she would be anything else.

The thing about sympathy trolls is, no they don’t get money out of people or hurt anyone beyond a bit of emotional manipulation, but they damage the community they troll. Like this thread, pages and pages of people sniping at each other, hurt feelings, distrust of the mods (“they banned her just on suspicion of being a sock or a faker?”) and even after, because new posters with strange stories are going to probably be met with suspicion even if they’re legit.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/669 "2012-06-25T19:14:53Z")

</div>

> [@Peremensoe](#):
>
> Moreover, the threads had accrued an air of worshipful fandom.

And that’s maybe the biggest warning sign here. I don’t mean to discourage people from being kind and supportive, but if you see that kind of thing going on and people having that kind of response - particularly to someone who has just joined the board and hasn’t substantiated anything - it’s a good idea to take a moment and consider what we really know about the poster and how much emotional commitmnent Dopers may be putting on the line.

> [@ugly ripe tomato](#):
>
> The thing about sympathy trolls is, no they don’t get money out of people or hurt anyone beyond a bit of emotional manipulation, but they damage the community they troll.

They can, yes. But we’ve been through worse. All told, **umkay** did not last very long and was exposed pretty conclusively. I wasn’t posting very much when the **Kaitlyn** thing happened and **WallyM7** was before my time, but her (?) involvement and tenure were much more limited.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/670 "2012-06-25T19:15:23Z")

</div>

> [@ugly ripe tomato](#):
>
> The thing about sympathy trolls is, no they don’t get money out of people or hurt anyone beyond a bit of emotional manipulation, but they damage the community they troll. Like this thread, pages and pages of people sniping at each other, hurt feelings, distrust of the mods (“they banned her just on suspicion of being a sock or a faker?”) and even after, because new posters with strange stories are going to probably be met with suspicion even if they’re legit.

Nah. Not really. This has been a fun thread. No one is going to lose sleep. No real harm done.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/671 "2012-06-25T19:15:56Z")

</div>

> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> I’m assuming Boizut was joking. Hoping, rather.

I don’t believe that you’re Mean, Old, OR a Lady.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/672 "2012-06-25T19:16:52Z")

</div>

> [@Bozuit](#):
>
> Has no one considered the very real possibility that **umkay** is a genuine pretty, rich, perky-breasted quadriplegic who, because of her paralysis, feels she can never have a baby, yet desperately wishes she could and so constructed a fantasy of a husband and pregnancy on another board before being exposed and shunned, horribly embarrassed, and who, after a period of shamed reflection, returned to the internet once more - this time to seek absolution for her lies - ending up in the truthingest forum in the whole word as a place to make amends?

Why would she lie about how her injury occurred? ( **sezyoo** : a car accident by a wealthy investment banker; **umkay** : a snowboard accident when she was 14. Luckily her family was wealthy, and I believe her father is an investment banker?)

I merely scanned her “Ask The…” thread, and **sezyoo’s** posts in the other forums, and the similarities are all over the place, and far too idiosyncratic and “coincidental” to be anything but one and the same poster. She’s untrustworthy, at the least, and a complete fraud at the most.

The details that are different seem only to fit and adapt to the overall “personality” of the respective boards.

Definitely appears like a Munchausen by Internet case, if this poster isn’t outright doing it for the lulz or some other perverted reason.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/673 "2012-06-25T19:17:17Z")

</div>

> [@Bozuit](#):
>
> Has no one considered the very real possibility that **umkay** is a genuine pretty, rich, perky-breasted quadriplegic who, because of her paralysis, feels she can never have a baby, yet desperately wishes she could and so constructed a fantasy of a husband and pregnancy on another board before being exposed and shunned, horribly embarrassed, and who, after a period of shamed reflection, returned to the internet once more - this time to seek absolution for her lies - ending up in the truthingest forum in the whole word as a place to make amends?

“Why don’t we imagine some bizarre set of circumstances that would make me right, and then pretend that’s what happened?”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/674 "2012-06-25T19:19:01Z")

</div>

“Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/675 "2012-06-25T19:19:51Z")

</div>

I will admit to being taken in, although I had misgivings. FWIW, my misgivings mostly stemmed from the fact that it seemed unlikely that she could be _that_ rich. (The gorgeousness claims made me roll my eyes a little, but I’ve known a lot of vain 20-somethings.) It seemed that she didn’t have much grasp of how much the different things in her “life” cost relative to one another, which would imply that she had a really obscene amount of money. And if she was that well-to-do, I couldn’t see her getting into a van driven by someone she didn’t know very well, trusting that she wasn’t being taken somewhere to be held for ransom. I also couldn’t see how someone that well-to-do would be working at all, given the other demands on her time.

The **NotOkay** post did take me in completely, though, and I’m embarrassed by that.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/676 "2012-06-25T19:22:31Z")

</div>

> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#):
>
> Nah. Not really. This has been a fun thread. No one is going to lose sleep. No real harm done.

Well, it sounded better than “concern trolls piss me off and I’m bored so I like to help root them out” 😉

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/677 "2012-06-25T19:22:42Z")

</div>

> [@ugly ripe tomato](#):
>
> The thing about sympathy trolls is, no they don’t get money out of people or hurt anyone beyond a bit of emotional manipulation, but they damage the community they troll. Like this thread, pages and pages of people sniping at each other, hurt feelings, distrust of the mods (“they banned her just on suspicion of being a sock or a faker?”) and even after, because new posters with strange stories are going to probably be met with suspicion even if they’re legit.

That’s actually a pretty reasonable argument.

What the hell are you doing in _here_?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/678 "2012-06-25T19:24:56Z")

</div>

> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> No.

This has been another edition of Simple Answers To Simple Questions.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/679 "2012-06-25T19:25:19Z")

</div>

Personally, I’m just happy that I’m so emotionally stunted that I never give the first thought to commenting on, “my puppy just go thrown in a wood-chipper,” threads.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/680 "2012-06-25T19:27:40Z")

</div>

I want to clarify something here. All of you who were taken in by umkay originally, you can form a line on the right. Those of you who fell for Notokay, you can line up on the left.

Those on the right, you are excused. Please do seven, ‘I’m gullible, but full of graces’ on the rosary.

Those of you one the left, hand in your internet cards. No, I’m sorry, really. It has to be done.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=33)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=35)
