# I Pit NotOkay for convincing the entire board umkay had died! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044 "2012-06-23T07:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/61 "2012-06-23T18:33:34Z")
N/m ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/62 "2012-06-23T18:35:34Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I haven’t read the entire thread. At the gate, I doubted her, so I decided not to participate. And by ‘at the gate’, I mean, I noticed the thread when it was a few pages long and it smelled funny to me, so I didn’t post to it. Can I ask what ‘smelled funny’ to you, exactly? I’m curious… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/63 "2012-06-23T18:56:47Z")
> [@Pitchmeister](#): > > Have any of you people claiming that **umkay** is not who she says she is even read the threads in question? I’m very sure that such a level of detail and convincing stories is not faked that easily. Where would she have found all the highly specialised knowledge about her condition and the equipment she uses? The threads are full with people in similar conditions (or people who intimately know such people), and a faker would have slipped at some point with some telling detail. I know it’s easy to be cynical about this, but I for one believe **umkay** is 100% real. As someone pointed out, look up **Kaitlyn/NumberSix** – lovingly, incredibly detailed, pictures and everything. All fake. If anything, the more detail, the more dramatic, the phonier it looks. I don’t know if **umkay** is fake, nor do I give a shit. But just because it’s so “detailed” and “knowledgable” doesn’t mean squat on the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/64 "2012-06-23T19:04:20Z")
I will say, as a paraplegic, I found her intimate knowledge of SCI and the not-so-visible issues that come along with it to be genuine. I find this questioning of her legitimacy laughable. Of course, with the internet there is no guarantee that the person you think you know _is_ indeed that person; but in this instance I wager my certainty against my cyber-naivete with no qualms. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/65 "2012-06-23T19:11:51Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > NotOkay is a jerk. Being a fake quadriplegic’s fake brother comes with certain responsibilities, and faking the fake death of said fake quadriplegic is simply unacceptable. Why not spend your fake energies on something positive, like faking a surprise birthday party? Fake complaints about the fake modding in the fake ABTMB forum would be energy much better spent IMO. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/66 "2012-06-23T19:12:28Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I will say, as a paraplegic, I found her intimate knowledge of SCI and the not-so-visible issues that come along with it to be genuine. I find this questioning of her legitimacy laughable. Of course, with the internet there is no guarantee that the person you think you know _is_ indeed that person; but in this instance I wager my certainty against my cyber-naivete with no qualms. I want to hear your theory about how someone would post a death notice. “As a paraplegic”, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/67 "2012-06-23T19:12:49Z")
Personally, I don’t care for posters who do not participate in the board overall, but only discuss their favored issue. Frankly, **Ambivalid** started that way, but I think he’s grown past it. On the other hand, **umkay** has not done so, but assuming that she is sincere, perhaps she will. ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/68 "2012-06-23T19:21:39Z")
The Munchausen by Proxy Server is so old and so plentiful – we’ve seen it here on the SDMB several times – that I sadly doubt almost every death announcement, especially regarding a very new poster who gained huge amounts of popularity on the strength of two threads, each depicting a rather surprising amount of detail on _very_ intimate subjects indeed. There’s a level of prurience in both threads that strikes me as really… odd… for a genuine poster. But okay, let’s say **umkay** is just a remarkably inhibition-free person willing to chat about intimate sexual kinks relating to quads and her incredibly wealthy parents. There’s really no reason that such a person couldn’t exist, and more power to her. But _then_ there’s suddenly a death announcement. A day passes filled with weeping and plaudits for said newcomer. Now the newcomer returns and sees a post that says she’s dead. Instead of immediately posting to that same thread, she reads through the whole thing (including all the awesomely kind condolences) and finally posts a new thread, shocked, _shocked_ at this egregious display of cruelty. And this newcomer, a quadroplegic who posts using a mouth-assisted mouse IIRC and/or carers, formats this post with enough italics, smilies and boldfaces and angry smilies to do **Bosda** proud. _And_ after she writes this post, she manages to edit it within a minute. That’s faster than even _I_ can edit sometimes, and I’m someone who edits almost every bleedin’ post so I’m used to it, plus I type 100+ wpm. Even if she uses voice recognition software… are such posts usually filled with boldface and underlines and italics? Or if it’s her carer posting, did she ask, “UNDERLINE and boldface that “WTF” please.” “Add a winkie smilie!” Call me yet another cynical bitch but yeah. I remember the [Kaycee Nicole](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaycee_Nicole) scandal too well to think people are beyond being incredibly descriptive in their deceptions. The Kaycee Nicole affair was clearly due to avarice. But not all such hoaxes are greedy for money – attention is quite often more than enough. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/69 "2012-06-23T19:26:28Z")
Y’all just bought tickets to Trollapalooza. > [@Myrnalene](#): > > _ **the bold italics of justice** _ Ha! Also, band name! ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/70 "2012-06-23T19:36:24Z")
The moron is banned. Lock the thread. (I hope it was an IP ban) ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/71 "2012-06-23T19:37:33Z")
One more thing. While I do think whatshername is a fraud… > [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I want to hear your theory about how someone would post a death notice. “As a paraplegic”, of course. …are you saying someone who’s had a spinal cord injury doesn’t have an advantage of sniffing out someone fraudulently claiming to as well? Not saying his BS-o-meter is perfectly tuned because of it (obviously, since I disagree with him), or that it’s impossible to fake knowledge, but I would say it can be an advantage in spotting red flags that those of us with no experience could easily miss. I wouldn’t roll my eyes at his “as a paraplegic” angle. I instead roll my eyes at his “can’t smell bovine excrement” angle. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/72 "2012-06-23T19:39:01Z")
It’s funny how some people are so scared of getting trolled, they are letting a troll troll them into believing that **umkay** is a troll. And that’s about 10 times worse than getting trolled into briefly believing that \*\*umkay \*\*had passed. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/73 "2012-06-23T19:40:15Z")
Some of us believed she was a troll to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/74 "2012-06-23T19:46:56Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > someone falling into a vat of chocolate and hardening to death. That’s the way I want to go. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/75 "2012-06-23T19:53:24Z")
> [@florez](#): > > So sure that it was “someone else’s posts” claiming umkay is dead? I am just learning that trolls enjoy bringing drama, and the whole attention to my special situation, exaggerated death, and rising again in so short a time might just be a part of troll fun. It could be the same person playing a game. But there’s no real indicaton of that. It could just be someone else. Given no information but **umkay** ’s past and current threads, and that one from **NotOkay** there’s no reason to assume anything except that **umkay** is as legitimate a poster as anyone else, and **NotOkay** is someone else playing a trick. If it is all just one person, I gotta say I’m impressed with the effort. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/76 "2012-06-23T19:56:11Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Can I ask what ‘smelled funny’ to you, exactly? I’m curious… I’m not that seated person but when the original thread popped up I thought it sounded interesting so I started reading. Soon enough my BS meter started pinging a bit. Partly because of her attitude, partly because of her familiarity with board culture and protocol despite being a new member and partly because of the “few one-night stands” comment. Not that I dismissed her out right but uncomfortable enough not to want to post in that thread. When the second thread open announcing her passing (very soon after joining) by her “brother” with the very unlikely username I pretty much knew something was afoot. . ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/77 "2012-06-23T20:04:36Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Some of us believed she was a troll to begin with. So, help me understand your thinking here. You think \*\*umkay \*\*was a troll, then created a sock to kill off a wildly successful troll, then quickly came back as the original troll to point out that the sock was a troll? Do I need to point out to you why a troll just wouldn’t have done those last two things, particularly so quickly, before getting a full payoff? You’re talking about a pulling off a very elaborate and time consuming hoax, only to kill it off unceremoniously, and then to come back after less than 24 hours and nullify the killing off. Nope. If a troll was going to go through the trouble of setting up such an elaborate long-con, it’s highly unlikely that they’d do something as lame as a death/resurrection in less than 24 hours. They’d have at least let the death phase ripen on the vine a bit more for the maximum payoff. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/78 "2012-06-23T20:07:32Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > Nope. If a troll was going to go through the trouble of setting up such an elaborate long-con, it’s highly unlikely that they’d do something as lame as a death/resurrection in less than 24 hours. They’d have at least let the death phase ripen on the vine a bit more for the maximum payoff. Well, it was Friday night. Maybe they had other troll shit to do over the weekend and had to wrap this baby up. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/79 "2012-06-23T20:15:16Z")
Okay, I’m not the most eloquent person on the board (or even in this thread), so I hope this comes out right. It’s clear that **umkay** has intimate knowledge of the life of a paraplegic, and devoted a lot of her time to patiently educating us and inviting us to see the fascinating, very personal details of her day-to-day life. And then one post from a different username invalidates all of this. I can’t deny that it’s POSSIBLE for her to be a troll, but I think it’s much more likely for some asshole (quite likely one who had been banned just a few days earlier) to post a few sentences and duck for cover, than for someone to spend weeks researching paraplegia and creating stories that are completely internally consistent, detailed, and believable, followed by a faked death announcement. (Not to mention that the entire Ask the woman in a wheelchair thread was at another person’s request.) It seems terribly unlikely that **umkay** is a troll, and to turn on her after all she’s done to educate, entertain, and inspire the community, I certainly think those of you who are doubtful (and I’m not) deserve to give her the benefit of the doubt. It saddened me to hear of her “death” too, but all the same, if **umkay** _is_ a troll and this is what trolling has come to, I’ll take it. I’ll take an evening of distress for all the inspiration and education I’ve gotten from her. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/80 "2012-06-23T20:18:27Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I want to hear your theory about how someone would post a death notice. “As a paraplegic”, of course. Huh? I don’t understand your question. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=5)