# I Pit NotOkay for convincing the entire board umkay had died! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044 "2012-06-23T07:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/141 "2012-06-23T23:52:15Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I can say, even if she is real, she has never been in love. Not really. Because if they we truly in love, a little thing like a wheelchair wouldn’t even fuckin’ register. To be fair she could have been in love with them but not vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/142 "2012-06-23T23:55:43Z")
I noticed that in the past week a troll/sock signed up and opened a bunch of threads about all kinds of board instant-hot-button issues (i.e. avatars). They also made a few trollish posts to **umkay** ’s thread just before being banned. While anyone and everyone could be suspected of sockery it seems this circumstance provides an obvious initial suspect. For those who responded to the fake announcement with sympathy and grief it was much better to have been human and misled than heartless and right. As long as that is your attitude a troll can’t win except in their own rancid mind. I apply that rationale in believing **umkay**. It is possible and sadly within human nature that the entire story \*could \*be a hoax but if that were really the case it would mean it cost them a lot more than it did anyone else - in time, thoughtful post composing and editing, and in what was given and what was taken away from the exchange. The ‘attention seeking’ if it were so, would have manifested itself in one of the most informative, accurate, and interesting threads seen in recent times. And if you want to assume it was a hoax then adding the death announcement drama would have just been a sure way to ruin a good con that had a very long future ahead, with much better ways of providing a ‘gotcha’ at the end. Nobody who gives \*\*umkay \*\*the benefit of the doubt can “lose” anything or appear foolish later in either case, but getting overly paranoid as a result of feeling fooled once is actually a loss. (or at least a ‘win’ for the known troll) The only thing they stand to gain is the enjoyment of any reactions to their otherwise meaningless drivel. If the result is that someone we know for sure is a troll causes a reaction like this against umkay the troll is winning. This is the case whether umkay is legit or were actually doing the trolling. I’m skeptical of everyone in general but I won’t feel at all foolish for believing umkay if I’m misled. If I lined up with the pitchfork and lantern crowd at this juncture after knowing for sure that someone was trying to manipulate this situation by trolling, I might feel foolish for that later ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/143 "2012-06-23T23:55:47Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > **THIS** makes sense. I had some (unarticulated) questions about the timeline of her threads and how the devotee thread appeared _before_ the “Ask The…” thread and this post articulates my questions better than I could have. Ummm… except, as has already been mentioned, **Pitchmeister** [suggested](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15079612&postcount=24) the “Ask The…” in post 24 of the “Should I…” thread, so… where’s the timing mystery exactly? ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/144 "2012-06-23T23:58:05Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > Because she is soooooo perfect: beautiful, smart, rich, fun, sexually confidant, career confidant, socially confidant, witty, popular, adventurous, beloved by all, etc, etc, etc. She’d be anyone’s dream woman- or Mary Sue. Yes, and she’s even pleasantly neutral about all the side issues she’s been asked about: votes both Dem. and Rep. but isn’t terribly political, for same sex marriage but respects if you aren’t, has a religious background but apparently not much opinion about religion one way or the other right now, etc. None of these qualities are unlikely on their own, obviously, but yeah, put them all together in one person and it’s not all that probable. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/145 "2012-06-23T23:59:04Z")
> [@Pitchmeister](#): > > (Bolding mine) > > …Healthy scepticism is fine and dandy, but you guys are not being sceptic, you are outright calling her a troll and a liar. There’s a difference. Also, I’d like to address this. No. I’ve never called her a liar or a troll. I belive I made myself clear that I suspect very strongly **umkay’s** a troll. That’s what skepticism is. I haven’t explicitly called **umkay** a troll or not. In my previous posts, I was describing how trolls “tick,” but this wasn’t me outright calling her a troll and a liar. I’d like the matter taken very seriously by the board and TPTB, as there is some justifiable circumstantial evidence that is coming together, that unfortunately calls for a deeper investigation on this one. It’s the prudent and responsible thing to do. You don’t just ignore the red-flags because you want to _believe_ it to be true, as much as it fucking sucks all around. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/146 "2012-06-24T00:04:36Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > I’d never require a poster here to have to come out of anonymity to prove herself to the board. But it’s unfortunately escalated to the level of needing some sort of substantiation. Perhaps through the administrators, at least. > > For myself, I wouldn’t expect an apology if a message board doubted the veracity of who I claimed to be; it’s the nature of anonymity and the internet, it’s not really a big deal. > > But if she does provide evidence that she is who she says she is, I’d apologize all the same. :shrug: Doesn’t necessarily need to break anonymity to comply, really - If I were to see what is obviously a youngish woman that is in a motorized chair or other setup, on the screen, talking about how the Straight Dope said that she was dead or a troll, LOL, Bite me, **Sarabellum1976** , it wouldn’t bother me a whit if her face was not shown, name not given, etc. It would put all this to rest very quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/147 "2012-06-24T00:07:32Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Ummm… except, as has already been mentioned, **Pitchmeister** [suggested](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15079612&postcount=24) the “Ask The…” in post 24 of the “Should I…” thread, so… where’s the timing mystery exactly? If it was really a devotee, then the whole purpose of the first thread was to ‘dispel’ stereotypical thinking about devotees and to introduce the fetish to those who had never heard of it in a way that came across as normal and harmless. I’m not saying I’m 100% sure of this and I’m really leaning towards keeping my mouth shut from now on. None of us **know** anything really. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/148 "2012-06-24T00:09:01Z")
I feel like **umkay** will bow out soon and tell us all it’s been real, but she’s too big for all of this. Also, if you don’t suspect someone is telling the truth online, it doesn’t make you an asshole. It doesn’t even make you an asshole if the person is in a wheelchair, or in an Internet wheelchair. It makes you human. If **umkay** is who she says she is, then she’s in a wheelchair, people. Her life isn’t over. She’s not a child. She’s not an idiot. She doesn’t need kid gloves. She’s an adult who has apparently done more and seen more than most Dopers, not to mention she has more money than we’ll ever see. this is the same girl who scoffed at people in wheelchairs who wear sweats. Stop thinking everything she says is gold because she’s in a wheelchair. The glurge is getting a little much. It’s a fucking chair, not a kid with leukemia. I’ve been accused of being a liar and it really REALLY fucking irked me, but I was also willing to provide proof. So if **umkay** wants to stay and expect us to believe her just on her word, she should a) realize some people will always think she’s BSing and b) start posting in other threads. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/149 "2012-06-24T00:09:23Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > Doesn’t necessarily need to break anonymity to comply, really - If I were to see what is obviously a youngish woman that is in a motorized chair or other setup, on the screen, talking about how the Straight Dope said that she was dead or a troll, LOL, Bite me, **Sarabellum1976** , it wouldn’t bother me a whit if her face was not shown, name not given, etc. > > It would put all this to rest very quickly. Very true, and obviously the easiest way to provide adequate proof, for me at least. She has an iPhone that can upload pics or movies straight to the internet, as well 24/7 help. I can’t see this being over the line when your identity is called into question. However, it doesn’t prove she’s a troll or not if she declines. ---
**Author:** ![Pitchmeister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pitchmeister/32/3459_2.png) [@Pitchmeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pitchmeister)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/150 "2012-06-24T00:09:36Z")
[**umkay** weighs in on the matter.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15200076&postcount=114) Okay, **cmyk** , maybe you have never outright called her a troll, but others have. Her post sounds like she isn’t too butthurt about that fact and plans to stick around. Maybe time and continued presence will alleviate some of your doubts. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/151 "2012-06-24T00:11:37Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Very true, and obviously the easiest way to provide adequate proof, for me at least. She has an iPhone that can upload pics or movies straight to the internet, as well 24/7 help. > > I can’t see this being over the line when your identity is called into question. However, it doesn’t prove she’s a troll or not if she declines. She could even post a pic with her face blurred out if she wanted to. Not a big deal. Takes about two minutes. Well, maybe two and a half for her. Her carers are speedy quick. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/152 "2012-06-24T00:12:10Z")
> [@Farmer\_Jane](#): > > Also, if you don’t suspect someone is telling the truth online, It doesn’t make you an asshole if the person is in a wheelchair, or in an **Internet wheelchair**. (my bold) Is that like DSL? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/153 "2012-06-24T00:13:51Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > (my bold) > > Is that like DSL? 😕 Dial-up? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/154 "2012-06-24T00:18:05Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > And if the real **Umkay** is actually a devotee, then it would also explain the extremely high level of knowledge on display throughout these threads. Those in the DPW spectrum live the life of SCI in so many ways, many times they are _more_ knowledgeable (in certain senses) than those who actually _do_ have SCI. Yep. That’s my theory about Kaitlyn/Number Six. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/155 "2012-06-24T00:29:00Z")
> [@Pitchmeister](#): > > [**umkay** weighs in on the matter.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15200076&postcount=114) > > Okay, **cmyk** , maybe you have never outright called her a troll, but others have. Her post sounds like she isn’t too butthurt about that fact and plans to stick around. Maybe time and continued presence will alleviate some of your doubts. O bullshit, s/he knows full well that the next stage in this will be a chorus of O NO DON’T LET THE HATERS DRIVE YOU OFF WE LOVE YOU from the credulous droolers s/he has dancing on her little strings. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/156 "2012-06-24T00:29:07Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > It takes more muscles to frown at a fake quadriplegic’s story than it takes to smile, you know. Which is, of course, how we know that frowning is evil. At least it takes the same about of muscles to click on the :mad: or 😃 smilies. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/157 "2012-06-24T00:39:21Z")
At first I thought it was laughable that umkay could be a troll, but after reading the theory that umkay is a devotee I have to admit it sounds plausible at least. Either way im fascinated. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/158 "2012-06-24T00:41:40Z")
I asked her about a site for devotees, and she found it,“weird”. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/159 "2012-06-24T00:46:32Z")
> [@Pitchmeister](#): > > [**umkay** weighs in on the matter.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15200076&postcount=114) > > Okay, **cmyk** , maybe you have never outright called her a troll, but others have. Her post sounds like she isn’t too butthurt about that fact and plans to stick around. Maybe time and continued presence will alleviate some of your doubts. Obviously, it’s just her word here again. It doesn’t go either way in resolving anything at hand simply because it’s her identity _itself_ that’s been called into question. She does say she’s been PM’d on the matter of attempting to provide proof that she is, indeed, who she says she is, and said it’s convinced her it’s not a good idea (would anyone here come forward and admit to this if they’ve done so, it would at least corroborate this claim). Of course she knows, troll or not, that this doesn’t exactly help to reassure, other than raise more eyebrows among the skeptical. I’m not sure what the reasoning is behind that, anyway, as she could still remain anonymous. Anyhow, **notokay** could’ve been just another troll, trolling her if she’s legit, or trolling a troll. She assumes we think if she’s a troll, than **umkay** and **notokay** is the same person. None of us really know that either way, other than it’s only one possibility. Anyhow, time might tell. It’d be nice; I, myself, don’t like unresolved doubt. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044/160 "2012-06-24T00:49:20Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > I asked her about a site for devotees, and she found it,“weird”. Uh huh? And? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-notokay-for-convincing-the-entire-board-umkay-had-died/626044.md?page=9)