# I pit our Xmas tree **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 21, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922 "2004-12-21T03:59:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922/41 "2004-12-25T02:03:14Z")
ONE POST?! He’s the Marcel Marceau of the Straight Dope! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922/42 "2004-12-25T02:09:42Z")
> [@WeRSauron](#): > > What makes you think Our Most Holy and Supreme Dark Vala Melkor - may His names be praised and glorified for a thousand ages! - would want the soul of a non-functioning artificial tree? > > Dedicate it to one of the Valar or Valier. We’re sure one of those goody-goodies would be happy with it. > > WRS - Oh, just because He’s dark and evil everyone thinks He has greed for everything, functioning and non-functioning! Sure! Dedicate their souls to Him! (Just don’t forget to dedicate your own to Him too. Mwahahahahahahahahaha!) Okay, We’ll sit down and shut up now. Yeah, you Melkorites are always out to mess up Trees! You’d think you’d have learned, after seven Ages of Eru, but no – still the same old thing! ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922/43 "2004-12-25T06:00:30Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > The lake’s been rough. > “Does any man know > where the love of God goes > when the waves turn the minutes to hours?” Did the Light go out at the Foot of your tree too? Get it? Light…Foot. Lightfoot. Gordon Lightfoot. He sang that song. Sigh. Huh. Lightfoot. Must have some hobbit blood. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922/44 "2004-12-25T13:56:26Z")
> [@AugestWest](#): > > Did the Light go out at the Foot of your tree too? > > Get it? Light…Foot. Lightfoot. Gordon Lightfoot. He sang that song. > > Sigh. > > Huh. Lightfoot. Must have some hobbit blood. No, he was one of those Lightfoot lads that Housman perved after! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922/45 "2004-12-25T18:21:39Z")
> [@AugestWest](#): > > Did the Light go out at the Foot of your tree too? > > Get it? Light…Foot. Lightfoot. Gordon Lightfoot. He sang that song. > > Sigh. > > Huh. Lightfoot. Must have some hobbit blood. [elaine]Gordon Lightfoot! I love that song! Didn’t Edmond Fitzgerald sing it?[/elaine] ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922/46 "2004-12-25T19:29:20Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Don’t be silly. You never heard of “tree sturgeons” before? Just a clarification, please. Do you extract the Yule caviar before or after you hang them ? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922/47 "2004-12-25T21:12:10Z")
> [@detop](#): > > Just a clarification, please. Do you extract the Yule caviar before or after you hang them ? Before. Then we ritually treat the caviar with an acidic version of the 5th element (no, not surprise) and serve it at the new year’s celebration. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922/48 "2004-12-25T21:44:49Z")
Do you name it Theodore? ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922/49 "2004-12-26T05:50:01Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Before. Then we ritually treat the caviar with an acidic version of the 5th element (no, not surprise) and serve it at the new year’s celebration. I see, the traditional way then. With what do you serve it and what wine do you personnaly recommend ? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922/50 "2004-12-26T05:57:28Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Do you name it Theodore? Only after it told them that 99% of their Christmas tree was crap. _runs_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-our-xmas-tree/280922.md?page=2)