# I pit parents who overbook their kids' schedules **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 10, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283 "2005-05-10T21:11:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/41 "2005-05-13T16:57:38Z")
> [@Burnt Sugar](#): > > Well, I hate to be the voice of dissent, but it’s quite possible a lot of the kids are doing the activities because they enjoy them. When I was 10 I did gymnastics 3 days a week, ballet 2 and jazz 1 - because I wanted to. I didn’t have one spare afternoon, and I loved it. I never played playstation or whatever those things are when I was a kid. I was obsessed with gym and ballet. When I _was_ at home, I was practising my ballet and gym. > > And, really, I didn’t turn out too bad. > > But, when the parents are calling the shots, you’re right, it’s a different matter. If a child wants to do all those things and can handle the work required, then it is perfectly fine. But a kindergartener doesn’t have a whole lot of personal choices about their day-to-day activities. And what I was referring to are parents that simply make their kids do all these things. It puts an excessive burden on their already limited attention spans, and by the time they get to me, they often are not in a good state of mind to sit down for an hour of work. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/42 "2005-05-13T17:59:46Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > If a child wants to do all those things and can handle the work required, then it is perfectly fine. But a kindergartener doesn’t have a whole lot of personal choices about their day-to-day activities. And kids aren’t necessarily good at time management and figuring out what is a reasonable number of activities to be involved in. Heck, some adults aren’t very good at that. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/43 "2005-05-13T18:12:49Z")
The big problem with “well-roundedness” is that having a wide array of talents and interests will help you get into a high-intensity field like, say, medicine, but then at the first sign of trouble in that field, your problems are blamed on a “lack of focus”. Yes, this has been an issue for me, though I wouldn’t change a thing. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/44 "2005-05-13T18:33:16Z")
Then there are parents who let their kids pick up activities, try them out, and then don’t let them decided what they’re going to stick with and what they’re going to drop. I went through that, and even though I’d clearly shown _serious_ dedication to martial arts (ie, training an average of an hour a day, six days a week, 50 weeks a year, for five years, and never complaining about it), my parents insisted for about three years that I had to sacrifice two days of training per week for something else. And I could go into parents who force their kids into religious activities (as mine did), but that’s an entirely different rant, because that’s an entirely different evil than just overscheduling. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/45 "2005-05-13T18:37:46Z")
Good point, **Ninja**. If the kid is loving what they’re doing, then why would a parent try to make them do other things? Well, I can see making them _try_ other things, just to get a feel for them, but if they don’t love them, let them do what they love. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/46 "2005-05-13T19:42:00Z")
I think there’s a fine line there. You don’t want your kid to hopscotch from activity to activity, quitting because they’re bored or because it’s getting harder. I see nothing wrong with keeping a child in an event that they begged to join and now want to drop two weeks later. Finish the season, finish the course, get at least one belt, _then_ you can explore something else. But I still stand against overscheduling a child younger than high school age. That’s cruel. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/47 "2005-05-13T19:48:48Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > The uncle is simply obsessed with his son becoming an elite hockey player. Oh, and by the way, the kid has about as much a chance of becoming a pro hockey player as I do of becoming the Queen of Belgium; he’s small, weak, slow and untalented. And the really sad thing is that if you aren’t noted as a ‘special player’ by the age of 11 you may as well give up on structured hockey altogether. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/48 "2005-05-13T19:53:22Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > A few years ago, Ivygirl wanted to take ballet. I took her to a class and let her observe while I waited in the waiting room. > > Two other SuperMoms were discussing their children. One was complaining because last Friday night, her daughter didn’t want to go out to dinner, she just wanted to order pizza. It turns out the girl was taking ballet, tap, gymnastics and soccer. I’m sitting there thinking, “And when does she do her homework?” Well, were the dance lessons all separate classes? When I was four, my mom signed me up for dance lessons-ballet, tap and “tumble.” It was a blast, but it wasn’t anything very heavy duty-we met in the church cafeteria and had a little recital, but that was it. Other than that, I was in Girl Scouts, and one summer my cousin and I attended an art class every other week. That’s about it. Oh, and I played the clarinet, but practice was always during school hours. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/49 "2005-05-13T20:14:21Z")
They were all different classes. This particular school was run by a former professional dancer. The weekly classes were 30 minutes long, and there was a huge big fancy recital at the end of the year, everything from little girls who could barely walk standing in a line and pointing their tiny toes to seniors in high school whipping around the stage doing intricate and involved routines. So this particular girl was taking three dance classes as week plus soccer in addition to school. The costumes for the recital weren’t cheap either, about $50-$60 bucks each. I felt a bit like an underachiever, because Ivygirl only had one costume for the recital and some other girls had three or four costumes because they were taking so many classes. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/50 "2005-05-13T21:47:01Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > If you’re not having any fun in your life as an adult, you’re not doing it right. I refuse to believe that being a responsible adult, with all the duties that entails, means all fun has to stop. Do you have a job? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/51 "2005-05-14T03:51:56Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > Do you have a job? Of course I do. So does my husband. We just make it a priority that there must also be fun. It’s all about balance. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283/52 "2005-05-14T03:57:46Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > Do you have a job? Do _you_ have no fun? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-parents-who-overbook-their-kids-schedules/303283.md?page=2)